My smart girl 3. Rewriting our stars

Jay Have you ever wondered what it feels like to lose the person you love most in the world? I had always hoped I would never have to find out. But fate had other plans. Standing in the empty hospital corridor, staring through the glass at Rose sleeping in her room, I realized that no physical pain could compare to this soul-crushing helplessness. Watching the person you love more than life itself slowly slip away — knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. A week had passed since that cursed attack that had nearly taken her from me. Although we had managed to stabilize her condition, Rose now spent almost all her time sleeping under heavy medication. I understood it was necessary — to reduce the strain on her heart and buy her a little more time — but it felt like she was already… not fully here. Every night I would lie down beside her, pulling her close, warming her with my body heat, breathing warmth onto her icy fingers, and burying my face in her soft hair, inhaling her beloved vanilla scent. “My favorite doctor is here…” my Bambi would whisper with a sleepy smile, curling into my arms as if they were the safest place in the world. I would hide my tears in her hair, clenching my jaw against the agony that threatened to tear me apart. Sometimes the pain became almost unbearable. It only eased under the feather-light touch of her thin fingers as they stroked my shoulders and threaded through my hair. I missed her like a madman — even when she was sleeping right there in my arms. I couldn’t imagine what would become of me if… she was gone. My hands clenched into fists. I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, closing my eyes for a moment, trying to pull myself together. My mind drifted back to the recent conversation with my father. …A week ago, he had returned from the United States, where he and Mom had been lecturing for two months. Their trip had delayed Rose meeting my family, but Dad came back earlier than planned while Mom stayed a little longer. When they learned about Rose’s condition, they used every connection they had, but... It still wasn’t enough. There was no donor. And time was running out. I tried so hard not to fall into despair, but I was starting to crumble. A few days ago, after an especially exhausting shift, I came home just to shower and change before rushing back to the clinic. I found my father waiting in my apartment. That was the day I finally broke. For the first time in years, I cried — really cried — as I admitted out loud that we might not make it in time to save her. My father didn’t try to offer empty reassurances. He simply pulled me into a tight embrace and whispered, “I’m so sorry, son,” letting me sob against his shoulder until I had no tears left. It didn’t make anything easier. Men don’t cry? Don’t believe it. When the person you love is dying, there is no containing that kind of pain. Rose… was dying. She had already crossed that line once. I still went cold remembering the horror of that day when Ten literally dragged her back from the other side. I was terrified to even think the words, but now, watching her through the glass, it felt like an invisible veil already separated us — the veil between our world and the one she had briefly visited. If not for Ten and that impossible miracle, my beloved girl wouldn’t be here at all. And we had barely had any time together… I opened my eyes and drank in the sight of her peaceful, delicate face. My thoughts drifted back to that distant summer morning when we first met. I could almost hear her bright, indignant voice: “…Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house?!” A faint smile touched my lips despite everything. Our first meeting had been… truly unforgettable. In my mind, the memories played like film reels. The way she charged at me like a tiny hurricane, wielding that heavy frying pan, convinced I was a thief. She would have knocked me out cold if she hadn’t slipped on the kitchen floor with a startled squeak. That slip saved me from a concussion — and her from having to explain everything to her brother and the police. When that fierce, delicate creature came flying at me, I instinctively caught her. We both went down. My only thought was to protect her. I managed to cushion her head with my hand and pull her tightly against me as we fell. She was so warm… like a little kitten. Even sprawled on the floor with a stranger on top of her, Rose wasn’t afraid. She started hissing and struggling, demanding I get off her immediately. And I… could only stare at her, grinning like an idiot, completely enchanted by those huge, furious doe eyes shooting lightning at me from under long lashes. The first thing that came out of my mouth was asking her to be my girlfriend. It was only half a joke. She had stolen my heart in that single moment. From then on, I did what I did best — shamelessly flirted with her, trying to smooth over our chaotic first impression. But the more I tried, the angrier she became. And I became completely obsessed. I smiled, unconsciously rubbing my jaw as I remembered that drunken night in the kitchen — the one that ended with her slap and my almost dislocated jaw. I had deserved every bit of it. Our first kiss hadn’t gone according to plan either. She had been so furious with me… and rightfully so. Yet somehow, against all odds, she forgave me. She even took care of my “battle wounds” — which were really just scratches. That night, when I showed up at their apartment unannounced, I realized something important. I had come home. And from that moment on, I knew I would never let her go. I pressed my forehead harder against the cold glass, watching her sleep. My first. My only. My last. If I couldn’t save her… then what was the point of any of this? A life without Rose would be empty. Cold. Meaningless. I had told her once that I had fallen in love with her long before we met. Now it felt like I had loved her even before we were born. And the moment I saw her, I knew I would never let her go. She had stolen my heart so effortlessly, and I never wanted it back. I would take her to see the falling stars. Because all I had left was hope. Because my last desperate prayer rested with them. If we stood together under that glittering December sky and made one single wish with everything we had left… Maybe we could rewrite our tragic destiny. Maybe the stars would let me keep her.