My smart girl 3. Rewriting our stars

The entire short walk to the doctors’ lounge, I could barely stop myself from turning around and rushing back to Rose’s room. Even though I knew she was safe for now — especially with Jisoo there setting up another IV — after everything that had happened, it was incredibly hard to leave my little doe even for a minute. I kept frowning, wondering what Ten wanted to talk to me about. The moment the door closed behind us, he confirmed my worst fears. “Remember when I told you recently that I’d found a suitable donor for Rose?” Ten began without preamble, turning to me and crossing his arms over his chest. I nodded and leaned wearily against the wall, watching him warily. My heart beat faster for a second — only to crash violently to the ground and shatter the next. “We lost him. And time is not on our side. You know that.” I knew. Of course I knew. His words fell like heavy stones into the deathly silence that followed. I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to destroy everything in the room. I didn’t ask what happened or why we had lost our only chance to save Rose. It no longer mattered. Nothing mattered except that Ten’s words sounded like a merciless death sentence. And the results of the examination we ran that same afternoon after lunch only drove the final nails into my coffin. Rose was dying. And the time left to save her… was almost gone. *** When Jisoo took her back to the room after the MRI, I stayed behind with Ten, studying the results. Now, walking down the sterile white hospital corridor, I kept replaying his cold, merciless words in my head: “…Multiple microinfarctions… Myocardial tissue necrosis… Her heart is barely coping with the load anymore…” Time. Was almost. Out. *** When I entered the room, Rose was lying under the IV drip, staring distantly at the clouds drifting across the cold winter sky. The moment she saw me, a soft smile lit up her face and she beckoned me over with her fingertips. In that moment, I realized that if she called me, I would follow her to the ends of the universe. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes for a second to steady myself, then walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I gathered her thin, cool fingers into my palm and brought them to my lips, kissing them and warming them with my breath. “Jay… you’re finally back…” she breathed softly, still smiling gently. “I’m sorry I took so long, kitten… How did you manage without me? Any complaints or… reckless actions I should know about?” I whispered with a smile, leaning in to kiss her temple. “Better confess now, or it’ll be worse later.” Rose laughed quietly and shook her head. “No reckless actions, Dr. McFell. No complaints either.” “Really?” I rubbed my nose against hers, pulling her closer and finally allowing myself to get lost in her for a little while. “Well…” Rose bit her lip. I raised an eyebrow in surprise. I had only been joking, but it seemed my naughty little doe had already gotten into something while I was gone. “Does opening the window for five minutes count?” she asked innocently. I exhaled in relief and laughed, pulling her tighter against me and stroking her soft hair soothingly. “Silly girl. Fine, I’ll let it slide this time. But if you get sick, it’ll be your own fault… I won’t let you out of my healing arms until you’re better.” Rose huffed quietly, burying her face in my chest, and grumbled with a smile: “Some threat…” I chuckled and hugged her even tighter, careful not to disturb the IV in her arm. Rose sighed softly, closed her eyes, and squeezed my hand, resting her head on my shoulder. “Actually… I wouldn’t even mind…” she whispered, lightly brushing her lips against my chin. I smiled. “Really?” “Really, darling. I missed you terribly, even though you were only gone for half an hour. I know you can’t sit with me every second, but… without you… it’s so cold…” Hearing that, I pulled her fully into my arms, lying down beside her and holding her close so my warmth could chase away her chill. My eyes stung with unshed tears. I knew I would never leave her. I would follow her from life to life. From eternity to eternity. As long as she needed me… I would always be there. “Don’t worry, little doe. I’ll always be with you,” I whispered hoarsely, punctuating every word with tender kisses on her cheeks, temples, and chin. “In this life or the next… in all the lives that come after… I will never… leave you.” “Is that… a threat… or a promise?” she whispered with a smile. “Neither, Bambi. It’s my vow.” “I like how that sounds…” Rose murmured sleepily, her long lashes fluttering. “And I… really want it to be true, my love…” She smiled drowsily and finally relaxed completely in my arms, pressing her whole body against me and nuzzling her nose into my neck like a little kitten. I wrapped her in my embrace, closed my eyes, and swore to myself that I would never break my word to her. *** Watching the medicine slowly drip into her bloodstream, I gently stroked her hair and unconsciously counted her quiet breaths, warming her with my body. Unable to resist, I carefully brushed the light strands off her shoulder, leaned down, and pressed a soft kiss to her neck, inhaling the delicate scent of her silky skin. Rose shivered and squirmed, whispering with a quiet smile: “That tickles…” A smile touched my lips despite everything. I exhaled deliberately against her neck, making her laugh softly as she pushed weakly at my shoulder. “Stop it, you troublemaker!” Her laughter was the most beautiful sound in the world. I would have given anything to hear it every day for the rest of my life. But the cruel awareness that this dream might remain nothing more than an unreachable fantasy sliced through my heart like a blade. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself,” I whispered hoarsely, running my nose along her neck up to her chin and leaving a light kiss there while gently stroking the back of her head. My tender girl. My happiness… Rose sighed but stayed obediently still in my arms, eyes closed. I covered her soft lips with mine, kissing her with unbearable tenderness — the kind I had never given anyone before her. With every kiss, I tried to show her how deeply I loved her, because words were never enough. “Apology accepted,” she purred contentedly. I smiled, giving her one last kiss before wrapping her securely in my arms. We lay in silence for a while, broken only by the quiet beeping of the cardiac monitor. Rose yawned softly, once again reminding me of an adorable kitten, and nuzzled deeper into my neck. My heart clenched with overwhelming tenderness. “Sleep a little, my love. You need to regain your strength,” I whispered, stroking her hair. Instead of relaxing, Rose suddenly tensed in my arms. Her thin fingers clutched my shirt tightly as she asked warily: “You’re not going to leave, are you?” I chuckled and stroked her warm cheek, kissing the tip of her nose. “I solemnly swear I won’t move from this spot until you wake up — even if your brother drags me out by my feet with security.” Rose laughed quietly against my chest and grumbled teasingly: “There you go with those jokes again… the ones that make me want to hit you.” I smirked, knowing she wouldn’t. “But they’re part of my charm, right, Bambi?” She only huffed softly and pressed closer, closing her eyes. A moment later, they opened again. “Jay?” “Hmm?” I hummed, completely unprepared for the devastating blow she delivered next. “What… did the MRI show?” I froze, breath catching in my throat as if someone had punched me in the gut. Rose froze with me, immediately sensing something was wrong. *Damn it…* I struggled to pull myself together, exhaled shakily into her hair, and whispered hoarsely: “Everything’s… fine, Bambi. Don’t worry. The MRI showed only minor changes…” I thought I had hidden my emotions well after the MRI and my conversation with Ten, but I had once again underestimated how well Rose knew me. One look at my strained, forced smile was enough for her to realize I was lying. She let out a quiet sigh and gently touched my cheek, forcing me to look at her. “It’s bad, isn’t it? Please… don’t lie to me.” Our eyes met. Her soft whisper cut straight through my heart. She sounded like she had already accepted it… like she was saying goodbye. But I hadn’t accepted it. I never would. I would find a donor no matter what it took. God… If I could, I would trade my life for hers without hesitation. I would give her my own heart — it’s belonged to her since the moment we met anyway. Looking into her beloved eyes, now sparkling with tears, I swore I would save her. I would bind her to me forever. I would become her guardian angel and fight the Angel of Death himself, who was already circling above her like a vulture. *Like hell you will. You’re not taking her from me!* But out loud, I only said: “Don’t think about it, little one. Just trust me. I will save you, do you hear me?” I pressed her palm to my lips, kissing her slender fingers, and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. But Rose’s quiet whisper knocked the air out of me completely. “I’m… dying, Jay.” “Rose…” I gasped brokenly, pulling her tighter against me in a desperate attempt to shield her from everything — even death itself. She placed her hand over my mouth and shook her head. With a sad smile, she whispered: “Hush, my love. Let me speak… I know it hurts you to hear this, but I… I can feel it. I know you and Ten have found ways to delay death, but… you can’t extend my life. So I want to ask you for only one thing…” “Anything, baby. Anything…” I whispered hoarsely. Her features blurred in front of my eyes as unshed tears burned them. Rose took a deep breath, cupped my face in her hands, and whispered: “Please… take me away from here, darling. I don’t want to die in this place.” “Bambi…” I started, going cold at the mere thought of risking her precious life again. Her slender finger pressed against my lips, silencing me. “You promised me, remember? You promised you’d show me falling stars. That we’d watch the December meteor shower together. I want… to see them with you. I want to make a wish… to meet you again… in the next life…” Rose fell silent, biting her lip. The effort seemed to drain what little strength she had left. My heart cracked again and again as I watched the tears sparkling in her eyes. “Silly girl,” I let out a cracked laugh that sounded more like a sob. I pulled her tightly against me, hiding my face — and my tears — in her soft, fluffy hair. Her thin fingers clutched my shoulders. “You’re not supposed to tell your wishes, or they won’t come true…” I murmured. “I know, but…” she whispered shyly, barely audible. “But you… you’ll find me, right? Even if the whole world is against us… you’ll find me?” “Don’t even doubt it, my love…” I breathed out hoarsely. “I will always… find you.” Then I covered her trembling lips with mine, swallowing her quiet, broken sob and tasting the salt of her tears.