My smart girl 3. Rewriting our stars

When Jay finally pulled back a little, leaving one last soft kiss on my already slightly swollen and sweetly tingling lips, I let out a happy sigh and stroked his cheek, whispering: “You’re kissing me so gently now… Are you afraid I’ll break if you use your full strength?” But he shook his head, pressing his forehead against mine, and admitted with a smile: “It’s not that, Bambi. I’m just… afraid I won’t be able to hold back and do everything to you that you’ve been so persistently trying to get from me.” I quietly snorted and rolled my eyes. “And who said I want you to hold back? I’m not made of glass, Jay. I won’t shatter if you hug me a little tighter and kiss me the way you really love and know how to,” I grumbled, only to receive a light peck on the tip of my nose and a reproachful yet affectionate: “I know, baby. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still my fragile little doll, and I have to keep myself under control all the time so I don’t snap and…” He trailed off, biting his smiling lips, his dark eyes sparkling as he clearly hid something from me. “And…?” I raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue. Judging by that teasing half-smile lurking at the corners of his shameless lips, he had another dirty remark on the tip of his tongue. And I got confirmation immediately. “…and fuck you senseless, sweetheart. Right here on this bed,” he finished with a cheeky, completely roguish grin. If it had been before, I would’ve definitely blushed bright red and gotten embarrassed by such words. But now I was used to his frankness and directness, so I just smirked, shook my head, and shot him a reproachful look from under my lashes: “So that’s what you really want?.. How terrible… And on the outside you look like such a proper doctor…” Jay burst out laughing, burying his face in my neck, and quietly confessed: “Actually… I’ve wanted this since the very first time I saw you, Bambi.” Wow! Poor guy… That meant almost four months of unsatisfied desire and hot, wet porn fantasies starring me… As soon as that thought flashed through my head, it was my turn to bite my lip to keep from laughing. But I couldn’t resist the chance to tease him for once. After all, it wasn’t fair that this rascal always got to mess with me. “It must be really hard for you, darling… How have you been holding back for so long?” I asked softly, doing my best to sound sympathetic, even though I really wanted to laugh. I was also very pleased to get confirmation that my passionate Romeo was struggling just as much as I was. But Jay had already joined in on the game I started and replied with a cheeky smile: “Prayers, of course. What else? And, naturally, holy water helps too. From a cold shower.” I finally couldn’t hold it in and laughed. He leaned closer, cupped my face with his warm hands, teasingly brushed his slightly parted lips against mine, and, looking at me from under his lashes with a gaze so intense it made me shiver, asked: “So, baby? Do you want more passion?” Now it was my turn to sigh. “I just want you to be like you were before,” I admitted. Jay chuckled softly and tilted his head. “Like what?” I bit my lip, realizing he had caught me again and wouldn’t let it go until I told him everything. So I didn’t even try to dodge and said straight out: “Hot… passionate… impulsive… arrogantly cocky and shamelessly bold — the kind of hooligan who doesn’t give me any peace, corners me in every hidden spot in the house, steals kisses, and whispers how badly he wants me.” Jay smiled knowingly and stroked my cheek, clarifying: “Are you sure? Because I remember getting beaten quite often for that very hot-headedness and impulsiveness. Not to mention the stolen kisses I always paid for dearly. So what changed that now you want all of that back, hmm?” I just rolled my eyes and let out a theatrical sigh. “I was just young and stupid and didn’t appreciate your passionate impulses.” Hearing that, Jay laughed quietly and lay down beside me on the pillow, propping his head on his hand and looking at me with adoration. “You’re still a little girl who adorably blushes at the word ‘dick’ and gets even more flustered at the thought of it being inside you. But you know, Bambi, if I weren’t such a responsible and sensible man, I would’ve kidnapped you from here long ago and taken you far, far away… to do extremely… indecent things to you.” His deep, velvety voice seemed to drop even lower, caressing my ears and sending goosebumps all over my body. I turned to him, mirroring his relaxed position, and whispered with a smile: “What kind of things?” But the cheeky brunette shook his head and dodged the question, hiding a mischievous smile in the corners of his lips. “Better you don’t know, baby.” “Why?” “Because you’ll want to hit me again and start throwing threats around. Or worse — threaten to deprive me of vital organs.” “I won’t, silly. That’s all in the past.” I sighed and shook my head, then reached out and stroked his warm cheek, gently tracing the contour of his beloved lips with the tip of my index finger. Jay caught it between his lips, lightly biting it, and watched me with a sly smile from under his thick lashes. Then he took my hand, pressed it to his cheek, kissed the center of my palm, and breathed out: “Really? So that means you’re not against it?” “I’ve been waiting for exactly that, if you haven’t noticed. For a very long time,” I confessed with a sigh. Jay just smiled understandingly, pulling me closer, and whispered softly: “I know, baby… But now is not the right time. First, we need to get you healed.” And even though I knew he was right, I still felt a wave of sadness, realizing that this insidious illness — which had appeared out of nowhere and so suddenly burst into my life — had changed everything forever.