Meaningless silence

      The evening dragged on slowly. Outside the loft windows, darkness had long since fallen, turning the glass into black mirrors. In them were reflected garlands, glints in half-empty glasses, and the blurred silhouettes of the group. Scraps of wrapping paper lay on the floor, which were a bit too precious to throw away. "And I'm telling you! She saved us!" Yuuki slammed his mug on the table so hard that the drink splashed over the edge, leaving a dark stain on the wood. "If it weren't for Ai, we'd still be stuck in that basement, instead of sitting here, happy and alive!"       Okada, sprawled on the couch, didn't even turn her head, just exhaled tiredly, mechanically twirling her glass in her hands. "We would have thought of something," the girl replied lazily. "But her actions were unjustifiably risky." "So what? She's alive and healthy, even all her fingers are intact!" Yuuki waved his hand toward Ai, spilling the rest of his cocktail. "Shit!"       Ai settled more comfortably on the floor between Okada's legs, moving slightly away from the wet spot. A second later, she was looking at Yuuki, who was frantically trying to figure out what he could wipe it up with. "I think I've found a candidate for cleaner next week," Okada noted sarcastically, watching the liquid soak into the worn carpet. "Not funny…" Yuuki grumbled, wiping the spot with his toe.       Jihye watched his friend with a smile for a few moments, then turned his gaze to Ai, tilting his head slightly to the side. "Honestly, I still don't understand how you made it in time," Jihye said with a warm note of admiration, settling more comfortably on the armrest of the couch. "You still don't know?" Okada raised an eyebrow in surprise and, receiving a negative answer, continued. "She stole my bike." "But I made it in time," Ai shrugged. "Stole it?" Jihye repeated, his eyes widening. "Yep. Pulled the keys from my room," the girl took a sip, not looking at Ai. "Honestly, back then I thought about killing her for that too. Took me about two hours to cool down." "But you didn't kill me," Ai noted quietly, smiling with the corners of her lips. "You were just lucky," Okada snorted and nudged the girl's side with her foot, without malice.       Ai swayed, raised her eyes to Okada, saying nothing. Her fingers instinctively tightened around her glass.       Yuuki, as if completely forgetting about the stain on the carpet, straightened up sharply. His eyes lit up with that special fire that never brought anything but mad noise and absurdity. The others, catching that look, tensed and sat up straighter. "Let's drink to that!" Yuuki jumped up, raising his glass. "And to Ai, who wasn't afraid to steal Okada's bike, crash into a closed zone on two wheels, and connect to someone else's network under fire!" "I wasn't under fire…" Ai objected quietly. "Doesn't matter!" Yuuki raised his glass higher, scanning the room for anyone who hadn't joined yet. "Anyway, to Ai! And to her taking fewer risks, but if she does, may she succeed!"       Okada sighed, but still raised her glass. "To Ai," she said, and for the first time that evening, there wasn't a trace of sarcasm in her voice. "To Ai," echoed from all sides.       Ai looked at these strange, completely insane people in their actions and decisions, who had become her family. At Okada, who had closed her eyes, taking a sip. At Jihye, smiling from the corner of his mouth. At Kiken, sitting a little apart from the others. At Yuuki, who seemed to be looking at her somehow… differently. A warm lump rose to her throat. Her eyes stung from the sudden tears. "Thank you," the girl exhaled, barely audible. "Don't thank me," Yuuki winked, grinning and being the first to down his glass. He took a gulp and immediately grimaced – he'd overdone the strength himself. But still, his glass was empty in moments. "Better pour me another! Tonight I plan to get drunk and get everyone drunk to the point of losing your wings!" "We don't have wings…" Ai noted, hiding a smile behind her glass. "I'll find some!" Yuuki declared confidently and reached for the bottle, as everyone ignored his request.       Okada demonstratively pushed it further down the table. Jihye pretended to be examining the ceiling, but couldn't suppress his smile – the corners of his lips twitched, giving him away. "You're so mean…" Yuuki whined, practically lunging across the table to reach the bottle. "You don't appreciate my charisma!" "We do… you just overestimate it," Okada corrected, settling more comfortably on the couch and closing her eyes.       Ai laughed softly. The laugh came out uncertain, but familiarly soft. It hung in the air, making everyone fall silent for a second. "That's it!" Yuuki said, looking at her without his usual foolishness, then broke into a grin again. "Now let's drink again! To the fact that we're even alive. That's also a reason, you know!"       Time continued its course. Empty bottles multiplied under the table, clinking against each other when someone kicked them. The carpet acquired a few more sticky spots. After a few hours, the group slowed down. Someone moved from the couch to the floor, pulling an old blanket down with them. Someone else got more comfortable among the endless pile of colorful cushions.       Eventually, the music from the speakers died down – maybe it turned off by itself, maybe someone bumped the cord, but no one noticed. In the ensuing silence, only the muffled crackle of ice in glasses, someone's sleepy breathing, occasional chuckles, and the rustle of footsteps on the concrete floor could be heard.       Ai sat with her legs tucked under her, watching everyone a little distantly. Mentally, she tried to remember every detail: how Okada lazily exchanged words with Kiken, how Jihye, leaning against the back of the couch, was no longer listening to what was happening around him, having drifted into a light slumber. She remembered how Yuuki, sprawled on the floor, had fallen quiet. He was staring at the ceiling, studying the cracked paint and the shadows from the garlands, smiling at his thoughts. His fingers slowly traced the edge of the blanket. "I wonder… what are you thinking about?" flashed through her mind, but Ai didn't ask – she respected the guy's quiet moments.       Another hour passed, and Okada gave in – her head slid onto the armrest, her hand with the empty glass hanging limply. Kiken also grew quiet, relaxing in his chair. The room became very still.       Ai carefully stood up, stepping over Jihye. Her foot landed uncertainly next to an empty bottle, nudging it. It clinked pitifully and fell silent. More carefully now, watching her feet, the girl continued on – weaving between scattered cushions and outstretched legs.       At the stairs, she stopped. For a few seconds, she stared at the dark doorway, fiddling with the new chain around her neck, then turned her gaze to the sleeping group. "Good night," the girl whispered, addressing no one in particular.       And she stepped onto the stairs. The first steps creaked under her weight. Her hand habitually rested on the cold metal railing, helping her move more quietly over the old wood. In the hallway, she walked more confidently. Past the closed bedroom doors, around the corner into the corridor where the light bulb never seemed to work. Another turn, and after it – the beckoning door leading to the roof.       The night air hit her face with the freshness of the forest. Somewhere in the distance, beyond the wall of trees, the tires of rare cars rustled, their headlights flashing. The girl walked to the very edge of the roof, looked toward the city, and carefully sat down, dangling her legs over the edge. Her heart skipped a beat with the familiar, childish fear of heights.       Her hands automatically wrapped around her shoulders. The cold air crept under her thin sweater, making her shiver. The wind stirred her hair, tossing it into her face.       Her thoughts wouldn't come. She didn't try to grasp them, to think of something. She simply allowed herself to be empty, just to sit, breathe in the fresh air, and listen to the wind playing between the pipes and old ventilation shafts. To the rustling of leaves a few floors below.       Then she heard a soft "meow."       A couple of meters away sat a black cat, watching her with lazy curiosity in its yellow eyes. Its tail moved slowly from side to side… "And how did you get here?" Ai asked quietly, slowly extending an open palm toward the animal.       The cat didn't answer. It blinked. It stared at the girl's hand for a few seconds before lazily getting up and approaching. It sniffed her fingers, rubbed its forehead against them, and sat down beside her. "Can't sleep either?" the girl whispered, scratching the cat behind its ear. It snorted and rolled onto its back, exposing its belly. "I'll take that as a yes."       She looked into the distance again, stroking the cat. It purred under her fingers, filling the pauses between gusts of wind with the sound.       They sat together until heavy clouds covered the sky, hiding the thin sliver of moon. They sat until the cat yawned, showing its pink tongue, and curled into a ball, pressing closer to her thigh. She laughed softly. "You're just as cheeky as Yuuki," the girl whispered. "Well, no… you're cheekier…" "Exactly!" came a familiar mischievous voice from behind. "I'm not that cheeky."       The girl spun around sharply. Her fingers instinctively clutched at emptiness – the cat, startled by the sudden intrusion onto the roof, jumped up and silently disappeared into the darkness.       In the doorway, bathed in dim light, stood Yuuki, his hands shoved into his pockets. A familiar smirk played on his face. "Why aren't you sleeping?" the girl exhaled in a trembling voice.       The guy didn't answer right away – he silently walked closer and sat down next to her. "Why aren't you?" He leaned on the concrete with his hands, turned his head toward her.       The wind stirred her hair again. Now she wanted to tuck it away. So it wouldn't get in the way, so it wouldn't ruin her appearance with its disheveledness. And along with that, as her eyes caught the details of the sleepy guy's appearance, a frightening, new warmth spread through her chest...