Boulevard of Broken Dreams

A gentle shake woke Edelgard and she yawned, nuzzling into Hubert's chest. "Good morning," he murmured.   "Morning..." she muttered back. She could feel she didn't want to wake up at all that morning. She kept her eyes closed and tucked against Hubert. His arms wrapped around the small of her back, holding her close. One hand did gently run up and down her back while the other kept her close to his chest. Waking up like this every morning was kind of nice... It felt good to start her day off with a little bit of warmth and love. The affection I really did let her have a positive start off to the day.   Eventually, though, he petted her head and she glanced up. "We should probably head for our sparring match, my-- Edelgard." She sighed and nodded, pushing away from him. He lit a lantern and they got dressed in the feeble light of the fire. She really hadn't wanted to move at all. Part of her still felt a bit sluggish and unresponsive, but she had to sober up and deal with the sparring match. That at least did help her wake up a little bit more. The sparring match. She would really have to be focused for that especially in the waning light of the torches that cast their shadows around the training grounds.   They found their way down to the training grounds after retrieving a healer from the infirmary and got to it. The spar was as vicious as they had been the past few mornings, Edelgard getting fairly bumped and bruised. The healer was none too happy but the healer had been the one to tell her to get him whenever she and Hubert were going to spar. She was keeping to her word so she didn't have to be carried up to the infirmary again. There was nothing really the healer could do since she was keeping her word. Still, she could sense that he was already tired of dealing with her nonsense and how badly she was getting wounded with each spar. It was what she'd told Hubert to do a long time ago. He was technically hurting her, but she was learning what to do best with each spar. Though the lack of light really made it difficult to track him especially with how much he blended in with the shadows... But considering that was where he'd spent most of his life, it did make sense. After the spar, she did settle down next to him on a bench and he wrapped an arm around her. "By the way, my-- Edelgard, did you realise today's your birthday?" She blinked and looked up at him, a bit startled. "No, I honestly didn't." She had lost track of time since, for her, birthdays weren't really important. Others might have placed emphasis on them, but she never really had. She really only used them to mark the passage of time. That was all they meant to her. She knew some nobles had big, fancy events around them, but that had never happened with her... She hadn't even had a big wedding to celebrate her marriage to Hubert. That would come later, but for now, the affair was a quiet one. The nobility was probably being told about it through announcements, but they would get invites to the wedding once it was planned. She would leave that to the royal wedding planners... It would have to be a big event regardless of her wishes, so most of the nobility would have to be invited. "I know they've never been a big deal for you, but is there anything special you'd like to do? If you'd like to go horseback riding or anything, we can... I won't mind putting my own needs on the side for a single day if it'll make you happy." She could hear the smile in his voice and she tilted her head a bit as she thought. Then she shook her head against his head. "No... I really don't care. We can just continue on as if it were a normal day. I don't want you feeling like I'm ignoring your needs and being selfish." Even if it was his offer...she really didn't want to have it feel like he had to ignore his own needs to take care of her. Granted, that was what he'd done all his life as far as she knew. But she didn't want him to do that anymore if he could help it... Though once her pregnancy started, he would need to for some degree... She wasn't sure what all that involved for him. She really didn't know a thing about pregnancy other than she wasn't looking forward to it. "Well... All right. But if you do think of something, let me know. I'll be more than happy to oblige you." She nodded but stayed rested against him. She sighed as she thought about something else. "Honestly... I probably should really start thinking about the entire heirs thing... It's the reason we're here..." She should probably go talk with the healers to see if they had any trained midwives or people who specialised in pregnancy and fertility. She wasn't ready to go back to Enbarr anytime soon, though. This time off was doing her a world of good. She hadn't felt this relaxed in a very, very long time. Her life had been non-stop stress since ascending the throne. Keeping the nobles shut up and in line was a hell of a job. Hubert would do a good job on that though... They all knew to fear him. And with his mother also now Minister of the Imperial Household... She didn't know much about Eike, but if she was anything like Hubert, she was still somebody to fear. "...Unfortunately, you are correct about that. I don't want you to feel pressured though... I'm not rushing to have a child immediately, but if you feel it's prudent to do, I'll follow your lead. Though...how long were you planning on staying here? I'm not trying to make us leave for Enbarr overnight because I can see how much more relaxed you are. I'm just curious is all." That was entirely fair. They hadn't been there that long and for an Imperial vacation, a week or so really wasn't too long. Usually they tended to be a good few months, up to six. The court was decadent but it could usually be trusted to govern itself. "I probably shouldn't go back until I'm visibly with child... Mainly so the advisers won't keep pestering and badgering us... So that'll probably be at least four months assuming I can get pregnant immediately next month..." She would have to consult with a specialist to figure out when that would be. She was basically going in blind to all of this. All she knew was that it could and would be pretty unpleasant for her much of the time. It wasn't like she'd really been old enough to remember too much about Katinka's pregnancies... "I would like to spend a bit of the falconry season out here if at all possible and that's three months away." "So it sounds like we'll be here for a while." He paused. "And, thankfully...pregnancy and fertility spells are two sides of the same coin. Casting one is similar enough. Though with fertility spells, the risk of multiple births does increase." So she could be bearing twins, triplets, or even more if they chose to use the fertility spells... It didn't sound too pleasant, but honestly, if she could have more than one heir in a single go, it'd be better for her in a sense. She just hoped it wouldn't be too egregious if they did opt for the spells. She probably would despite that risk. She simply didn't want to have to keep trying for a long time. She was still fairly young yet but...the advisers would really start to pressure her if she took too long. She hoped there was somebody here that could help her when it came to all of this… “I'll probably take that risk. If I can have more than one heir at a time...that'll help shut the advisers up. Though we will need to talk about consorts more...but that won't be until we get back to Enbarr most likely." She really did want to focus on them as a couple while here. Though...she wondered how much Hubert knew about that sort of thing. "Do you...really know much about the magic that allows same-sex couples to have children?" She just needed help with childbirth. She didn't want Hubert to feel like she was disloyal to him... But if she had consorts, she at least wanted to be sure she would get along with them. She knew Hubert's notes were thorough but… "A bit, yes. There are spells that involve...implements through sex or simply through combining of energies. I haven't studied it in any great depth, but I understand the basic principles behind it. So if you want to skip sex entirely, you can. Plus, for men coupling with men, that's the only real choice as they still have to use a surrogate female to have their own descendants." That made sense, s he supposed. If they could bypass sex altogether, she wouldn't really be disloyal to Hubert. Granted, it wouldn't be disloyalty; they would be legitimate members of the Imperial family. "I'll probably opt for bypassing... I know you're still...uncertain about it, but I really don't want to come across as disloyal to you. I will want to make to make sure I get along with the consorts at the very least. But I can't guarantee I wouldn't fall in love with them..." She still felt bad about that. She had never really wanted to use the system on her own, but now that she was faced with the reality of her situation, she felt like she had no real choice in the matter. Either she would have to deal with sharing her mentally, emotionally, and probably physically, or else she'd be forced to have a ton of single births or endure several multiple births. All she knew was that she didn't want to raise a single child; having siblings would be so important. She just... yeah. If she could have help with childbirth, it would ease her stress a lot. Hubert sighed and kissed her head. "While the thought of sharing you doesn't sit well with me...I already promised you I wouldn't stand in the way of your heart should things go that way. You are a person with much love to give and impeding that love would make me selfish. Honestly, if you wanted to go back up to our room and discuss my thoughts on who might well get along with you, we can." "It might not be a bad idea. I could send letters out to them to get that process started. They could arrive in Enbarr before we get back, assuming it doesn't take them that long to arrive." She did feel like she was tossing Hubert's emotions back in his face... She didn't want to seem disloyal. But she absolutely needed help with childbirth... If she ended up with three consorts and they had three children apiece then if she only had one... That would put her at a decently sized family. still kind of small by Imperial standards, but large enough that she wouldn't have to worry about the advisers breathing down her neck. Hubert stood and offered his hand to her and she took it. They headed back to their room and he opened the curtains. The sunlight started to peek through the room, though it was still mostly dark. He settled next to her. "Unfortunately, I don't have my notes with me as I didn't really anticipate this... But I can remember a fair bit about the three women I had chosen out should you ever be interested in consorts. They are from relatively poor noble families, so the wealth of the Imperial castle would be a point to entice them with. I spent a lot of time tracking down women I thought would be compatible with you." "And how many sleepless nights did that take?" Something told her she probably didn't want to know. And his expression betrayed that as well. She sighed but leaned against him. considering he'd been busy with the change of power and becoming Minister of the Imperial Household himself... She had no idea how he had time to track down potential consorts for her. He really was an impressive man with all the resources he had. "I narrowed it down to three Franzi von Aler, Eleonora von Bohne, and Trudi von Limbach. They're from more minor noble families with Eleonora being from a barony. I have heard that she can be a little standoffish at times, but she's not really unkind. She's seen a lot of siblings and family members die due to the lack of food in their area. It takes her time to warm up to others because she's lost so many. But she's a relatively kind, warm soul despite everything. She's currently second in line for the title to take over the barony, but I think she might be willing to come due to the promise of being well taken care of. "Trudi von Limbach is from a bit of a similar situation. The country lives around Fodlan's Fangs, so the mountain slopes are relatively poor in terms of soil quality. She's the fifth of eight. She sees no differences between noble and commoner, much like you. She's likewise lost a lot due to the poor soil in their area, but I've heard she's gentle and kind and my reports confirm it. "Then there's Fanzi von Aler from a viscounty honestly not too far from here in some regards. They live toward the southeast corner of the continent and it's rich in fishing and linens. They produce most of our linens for clothing. Despite that, Franzi sounds like she's relatively down to earth and kind, if a bit on the shy side. How do they sound on preliminary description?" "Well... You've done the investigations, so if you think they'd be compatible with me, I have no reason to not believe you..." She knew he wouldn't take something like matters of the heart or the future of the Imperial Family lightly. He would have done incredibly deep investigations into them. "How far apart are they from me in age?" She didn't want there to be, like, a ten year age gap between them. Hubert was only three years older than her, so that was fine for her. Probably not much younger or older than her though... The thought of a political marriage like that still scared her. These were technically political marriages, but with them being same-sex, there wouldn't necessarily need to be any sex to bear offspring due to the types of magic they could use. "Though, actually... "In technicality, couldn't we bypass the need for sex and just...use magic for that too? I'm not against natural methods but...it just hit me." Hubert blinked and looked down at her, taken aback. "I... Technically, yes. I hadn't thought about that, but the problem is I haven't studied the spells in depth. It would take me a few weeks to fully understand them with as complex as they are. Bearing new life like that isn't a simple matter. It might be best for us to just plan around natural conception." She wasn't against it either. She was just curious. but it would still be good for him to learn the spells since she would need them for her consorts… "As for age, Franzi is nineteen, Eleonora is twenty, and Trudi is twenty-two. I made sure to not go too high or low. Plus...I would worry if someone ten or more years your senior would end up with you. I don't doubt that it couldn't turn out well but...I would worry about potential manipulation and abuse." That was entirely fair and that was her worry too. She didn't begrudge him that worry at all. "That all sounds fine to me." There was only two years on either side which wasn't a huge deal to her. Plus, most women ten or more years her senior would already be married most likely... She didn't doubt she couldn't love somebody that much older, but yeah, she worried about potential misuse from the other party. "We could probably send a letter to Franzi while we're here... Though you said you already sent your mother the letter to start contacting?" Hubert nodded. "Yes, I told her to contact Eleonora and Trudi. We can write Franzi ourselves... Would you rather I handle it or would you rather?" She tapped her chin. Good question. Normally it wasn't the Emperor or Empress writing to potential consorts. The Minister of the Imperial Household was the one writing the letters and arranging things. But it didn't really make sense to send a letter to Eike, only to send it back this way. That just wouldn't be an efficient use of time or resources. So it would be better for them to handle it. "I probably should in this case to explain the situation." It might've made more sense for Hubert to, considering he'd held the Minister title not that long ago, but she'd just rather handle it herself. It'd probably take close to two and a half, three weeks for the letter to arrive. "Would you be okay if I invited her here, or would you rather I send her to Enbarr?" She didn't want to impede on her time with Hubert, but the journey back would be longer if they chose to send her to Enbarr. "That's your decision, my-- Edelgard. You said you wanted to focus on us here, but if you've changed your mind, that's fine. Humans are fallible creatures and prone to change our decisions. It's truly your choice." A typical Hubert answer… "Hubert...I told you I wanted you to speak up for yourself. Don't just give me your typical 'if it's what you want' answer. Please. I want to hear what you have to say." She rested a hand on his cheek and kissed him softly. She wasn't sure if he was shoving his emotions down or not. She really wanted to hear his thoughts and feelings. It was going to be so hard for him to speak up at times like this if he did have feelings that ran counter to what she wanted. His expression dropped and his gaze lowered. "I...was honestly hoping to spend this time with you and you alone. I doubt we'll ever get us time like this again... Between children being born and consorts becoming involved... I doubt I'll ever get you all to myself again..." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap, then placed a soft kiss on her lips. "But I know I can't keep you to myself... If you want to invite a potential consort here...I won't stop you." He sounded a bit defeated. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, nuzzling their noses together. "I'll have her go to Enbarr then. That can wait. I also do want time to build a relationship between us and us alone... From the makeup of my father's system, having a rock solid core couple with others on the side seemed to make a good foundation. Though...you will probably have to help them, too. I know your loyalty belongs to me and me alone but...you'll need to open up and help them as well." She knew that would be difficult for him. He didn't even soften up too much for Bernie. He wasn't one to be kind to others unless Edelgard basically demanded it... And here, she felt the need to. They would all be partners in a sense. He couldn't stay closed off to them and stick only to Edelgard. Communication was so key in this sort of healthy multi-person relationship... That was the impression she'd gotten from Juliane and the other Imperial women. "I'll...try my best. That's all I can promise. You know I'm not good with people that aren't you or Her Eminence. I don't want to disappoint you, though..." He leaned in and kissed her again, a soft, lingering kiss. He looked worried. She touched their noses together. "Your best is all I ask... I hope we can come out as a good supportive system in the end..." This would be life long. It was rare for anybody within an Emperor or Empress' consorts to leave because they had bore legitimate heirs and them having children outside of that allotted partner was seen as a threat to the Empire's stability. She didn't want to risk that happening. She wouldn't just immediately into having children with these women. She would take her time to get to know them and see if they clicked. If it took a year of getting to know them, she would do that. But considering she would be pregnant...she would probably have all the time in the world. Well, at least until the baby or babies came. She brushed his bangs out of his eye and saw his whole face. She smiled and kissed his nose. "Well, I suppose I should write that letter then we can get started on our day. We can probably have breakfast, then I should see if there's any sort of fertility specialist--" "Each Imperial home has a trained midwife stationed there, so you don't have to worry. It's not too uncommon for Imperial women to get pregnant on these extended vacations and to need care." Well, that definitely answered that question. Of course Hubert would know that; he knew damn near everything... She kissed his forehead then slipped off his lap, going over to the Empress' desk and writing out a letter. It took her a while to formulate the right words but she did eventually manage it. It felt beyond strange to be writing to a stranger and going 'hello, I know we've never met, but would you be interested in becoming my consort?' It wasn't uncommon in the Empire. Nobles knew to expect it. But it didn't stop it from feeling strange to her. After she had finished that, she sealed it in an envelope and then changed into one of her dresses. "We can drop this off at the post master's." She smiled up at Hubert and he nodded. They headed out and dropped off the letter, then went up to the infirmary. They told the head healer what the situation was and, a bit later, an elderly woman came into the room with a smile on her face. "Good morning, Your Majesty; it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Mirjam. You're looking to get pregnant?" The woman smiled and her tone was gentle, but Edelgard still shifted a bit. Hubert sat in a chair next to her and offered his hand. She took it and interlaced their fingers, squeezing his hand. This was hard. So hard. She wished she could choose when this happened, but the sooner, the better, and she knew it. It was so very difficult. She nodded and looked down, unable to meet Marjam's gaze. "Yes... I'll admit, I really have no idea what to expect... I'm mostly doing this to silence my advisers. I don't want to be pregnant so soon after getting married, but I really have no other choice." She sighed and closed her eyes. There was no real point in hiding why she was so unnerved. This woman would probably be the one overseeing her entire pregnancy. It was best to just establish an open, honest relationship with her now. A moment passed and she felt a hand rested on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Marjam standing in front of her, a soft smile on her face. "Unfortunately, it's kind of a tale as old as time... Many women don't want to get pregnant but have no other choice for their bloodlines. It's a sad reality in the system we live in... Far too much importance is placed on Crests." The woman had no idea. She wished she could have destroyed the entire system, but the cost of human life and psyche alike would just be far too high for her personal liking. She couldn't justify the tens of thousands of lives and the sheer political mayhem it would cause. If Adrestia ruled the entire continent again… She mentally shook the thoughts away. "Unfortunately. But...I would like to just get it over with as soon as possible. I should be having my cycle soon so..." The books she'd read had been focused around a woman's pleasure during sex, not much else. The books were not pregnancy books in the slightest. It was all about a woman's pleasure and making sure she came out okay on the other side after sexual liaisons. "Do you have an idea of when things happen? If so, I should be able to project potential dates for trying..." Edelgard pulled one of her pocketbooks out and, over the next little while, they discussed things. It came out to starting in about two and a half weeks to try to time it correctly. A window of about four days would be best, though continuing a bit before and a bit after might not be a terrible idea. Well... She had enjoyed their first session and she wasn't against doing it more… They then spent quite a while discussing body changes and Marjam giving her a basic rundown of what to expect over the nine months. It...didn't sound particularly present if she was being honest. She wasn't looking forward to this in the slightest. But she knew she needed to do it. The advisers wouldn't be happy until she was visibly pregnant and that would start happening around the third or fourth month. So they definitely did have plenty of time here, assuming she got pregnant on the first go around. However, something Marjam told her frustrated her. "I've heard from the healers that you're getting battered in your sparring sessions. I would suggest stopping those now. If you get hit too hard in the abdomen while you're pregnant, you could lose your child." "I was just getting back to sparring sessions..." She didn't want to lose a child, but it was just so frustrating when she was trying to get back in shape and regain her fighting skills. "I won't do it if it's a risk to the child. I can promise you that." Marjam looked relieved at that. She just...really hated that she couldn't continue the sparring sessions that had just started becoming part of her routine. "Can I at least run drills?" "There's nothing wrong with exercising while you're pregnant. In fact, it's recommended. Just don't get too intense with it. For the time being, you're fine to do what you want, but you might as well just knock sparring off your schedule instead of feeling worse when you have to stop because you're pregnant." Edelgard nodded and sighed. She couldn't help it. She missed her sparring sessions but on the bright side...she wouldn't have to get up early anymore. She wasn't the biggest fan of getting up before the sun rose. "All right. Can I still participate in falconry? The season will be starting in a few months..." She would be incredibly distraught if she couldn't fly Evelin. She looked forward to the season every year. It was one of the few times she got to be free of the court and the stress that came with it. Though depending on what happened...she might not even be on the throne depending on what Marjam said. "The later you get in your pregnancy, the harder lifting will be and you'll be fairly fatigued through most likely... I don't see why you couldn't, though." Edelgard breathed a sigh of  relief. Good. She hated the idea of not being able to fly... She'd still gotten to fly at Garreg Mach despite being in classes. She'd had a red tail she'd flown then released once the spring had come around again. Though she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle flying an eagle... Maybe they ought to trap a passage red tail for her so she wasn't carrying Evelin's full nine pounds when starting to show.   She flushed a bit as the next question popped into her mind. "What about having sex during...?" She had only had one time yet but...it had been pretty nice. Hubert knew a lot more than she did, but she would learn in due time. She would learn about a man's pleasure so she could reciprocate to him. She wasn't sure ifs he wanted to wait a whole nine months to have sex again...possibly longer, depending on how long recovery from birth took.   "There's nothing to suggest that it's unhealthy for you or the baby that's developing. Though post birth, even with healers, it'll take a few weeks for all of that to be fully healed up. So you'll have to wait a bit afterward." Edelgard nodded, her face bright red. Well, that was good to know. She was really glad that there was nothing stopping them from doing it for the whole nine months that she would be pregnant. Even early in pregnancy. She wouldn't want to stop that even though, again, her experience was limited... She wanted to experience and explore more with Hubert. He had clearly been having fun when they'd been doing it. And, well, she hadn't hated it either. She'd enjoyed it quite a bit in fact...   "All right." After that, they discussed supplements she could take that would help with fertility alongside the magic that Hubert would use. There were other things covered over the course of the next several hours and Marjam handed Edelgard several books to read before. It would help her get ready for the changes that would take place in her body as the months wore on as well as prepare for childbirth and taking care of a baby. She was going to be involved in the child's or children's lives, she was adamant about that, but she would at least have caretakers to help her with late-night infant issues.   However, the woman did look at her before they left. "I do have one last question for you: how prone to stress are you?" It took Edelgard off guard and she went to speak but Hubert cut her off.   "Incredibly prone to stress. She internalises everything and rarely ever lets it out. She has confidantes in me and Her Eminence but she often doesn't talk to us." She gave him a side eye. What was he talking about? she wasn't prone to stressing out...   Okay, that was as bad as it sounded. She was such an anxious person. She often had sleepless nights when she got too stressed out. And considering they'd have a baby or babies on the way soon... Well, that would only make things worse...   Marjam frowned. "You'll probably want to stay off the throne if at all possible. Do you trust the people around you to take care of the Empire? A woman prone to stress might go into labor early or have a small baby. I've seen it happen all too often. And babies born early and/or too small are incredibly likely to die. Even our best healers can't do much about it." That made Edelgard's heart freeze in her chest. It could cause that? She hadn't expected stress to have such an impact on a child or children she was carrying.   She looked at Hubert and nodded, squeezing his hand. "Implicitly." She knew he'd guide the Empire as its new Emperor. He knew how she thought and how she would make decisions. And Juliane had Augusta had been on the throne, sharing power for quite some years at this point. She trusted them to guide Adrestia as it'd been handled for the past several years.   "You ought to stay off the throne then. You don't seem like you want to put your heir or heirs in harm's way." She shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was potentially cause her child or children to have a bad birth or very negative repercussions simply because she was too stubborn to step down from the throne. She was very prone to anxiety. The lavender tea could unfortunately only do so much though...   "That's the last thing I'd want. I'm doing everything I can to prepare even though I really don't want to be pregnant right now..." She wished she could wait at least a year...but the advisers wouldn't accept that. She could tell. Even with Hubert shutting them up, it would only be a short time until they started finding new ways to hound her. She wanted to do this right. "I'll at least have something to keep me occupied during my pregnancy though... I'll have potential consorts to get to know." She was so horribly awkward with people and she wasn't exactly rushing to get the women pregnant. So that would definitely help keep her occupied. She would still be a bit stressed by that, no doubt, but the stress there was far less than what it would be compared to being on the throne day in and day out for several months.   "That should work out then. I'll be accompanying you back to Enbarr, though; it's not wise to switch midwives once you're that far along in your pregnancy. Even if I send notes, it's no replacement for me being the one that's been watching over you since the earliest days of your pregnancy." Edelgard nodded. That made sense. She wasn't sure if she'd feel comfortable switching at that point... If she was four, four and a half months pregnant, she probably wouldn't want another woman to try to pick up where Marjam had left off. She wanted to do this right and do what was best for the incoming baby...or babies. She wasn't sure what would happen with all of this... She was anxious. She didn't want to have children yet, but she had no choice in the matter. At least they still had some time before they actually had to start trying. She knew the dates and the window that would be optimal for her getting pregnant for the next few months depending on if she got pregnant or not.   "I'm completely fine with that. If I have any questions at any point while I'm reading the books, can I come to you?" She wanted to have an open line of communication with the woman. It was going to be so incredibly important that she had open, honest communication with Marjam through her whole pregnancy. She would probably have a lot of questions in the weeks leading up to the attempts. What Marjam had described about her body scared her. It didn't sound pleasant at all and she didn't really want to go through that. But she had no real choice in the matter. She never had any choice in her life it felt like...   "Of course. I'm your midwife now. If you have any questions or worries, feel free to ask me. I'm not going to turn you away from answering your questions. Pregnancy is scary for every woman--especially first-time-mothers. You can ask me anything at any time." The woman smiled at Edelgard and she managed a feeble one in response. She just... She was glad she was in such good hands, but even so, this felt so daunting and scary. She was going to be bringing another life into the world--possibly more. With the risk of having a multiple birth due to the magic Hubert would use, she was more than aware of it. She really wasn't sure if that was what she wanted or not... But if she had two or more, it would help quiet the advisers since there would be more than one heir in the world at that point...   "Thank you; I truly appreciate it." She offered the best smile she could muster, but it was pretty feeble. She was basically doing this against her will. She had known she would have to bear children since she'd been made heir apparent, but it suddenly being forced on her didn't make it easy. She had thought she'd have a bit more time, but the advisers simply wouldn't leave her alone about it. At least she got her revenge by choosing Hubert. They wouldn't be able to do a damn thing against him with how he wielded his power and presence.   "It's no trouble." With that, they headed back to their room and Edelgard put the books on the nightstand. She sat on the bed and curled up, Hubert wrapping an arm around her. He cupped her cheek and kissed her softly, a fair bit of warmth behind the gesture.   "I'm sorry all of this is so hard on you... I wish I could have done something sooner or to help you out more but...those advisers were nasty even for me to deal with." She scooted into his lap and rested her head against his chest.   "It's not your fault, Hubert... I should've known I wouldn't be able to avoid it forever. I just thought I would've had more time was all." She closed her eyes and sighed. This was so hard for her. She didn't mind the idea of being a mother. It was the fact that she was being forced to do it when she wasn't emotionally ready for it in the slightest. She just wanted to be able to enjoy her freedom, but that wouldn't be true for much longer. They would have to time things so she could hopefully end up pregnant. Unless she wanted Hubert to spend the entire day studying the magic that would allow them to bypass the need for sex... She didn't want to leave him alone like that, though. She wanted to build their relationship.   "I promise I won't leave you no matter what. I'm your husband now and you won't get rid of me so easily." He kissed her head, arms wrapped around her middle.   "I'm glad... I really am." She closed her eyes, resting against him entirely. This was all so overwhelming for her. Her life was about to irrevocably change in just a couple week's time if everything went well and to plan. She didn't want any of this, but she really had no choice in the matter. It felt like she hadn't had any choices in her life since she'd been released from the Crest experiments. Her path had been set once all of her siblings had died. At least she had Hubert to protect her and care for her. She knew he wouldn't slouch on any of his duties either... If anything, he'd put too much on himself while she was pregnant and stress himself out. He was loyal... Too loyal if anything.   "Do you feel up to eating anything or are you too stressed out?" She shook her head. She was too stressed out. "Let's just sit here for a little while then." He ran his hand through her hair and she nodded.   "Okay." She tucked against him and kept her eyes closed, her heart pounding from the anxiety of her very near future.