Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Edelgard hadn't realised she'd fallen into a light doze until she woke up. Sunlight flooded the room and she glanced around, then smiled when she saw Hubert also lightly dozing next to her. One arm rested gently over her and she closed her eyes again, nuzzling into his chest a bit. She had been pretty nervous about what they'd done, but it'd come out a net positive. She didn't regret it at all. She would have to bear children one day but, for now, that was completely up to them when it happened. Getting used to sex wasn't as horrible as she'd thought it’d be.   However, she did feel him shift a bit. "Oh... I guess we fell asleep," he muttered.   "Yeah... But that was pretty intense, so it makes sense... I wonder what time it was." She wasn't entirely sure how long they'd dozed off. It could've been half an hour or three hours. She wasn't sure. Either way, she was perfectly content to remain tucked against him. She hadn't expected it to be quite so intense... But she also hadn't expected the magic. That was probably the thing that had surprised her most. That...and seeing Hubert turn into a stammering mess at times. She was so used to him always being so stoic, so to see him turn into such a mess had been...odd.   "Dunno. We might want to ask." But he didn't move. It seemed like he didn't want to break what felt like a comfortable blanket had settled over them. His arms went back around the small of her back and held her as close as possible. She didn't pull away or make any fuss since she didn't want to move. She heard him let out an amused snort. "Seems like we're both not in the mood to move..."   She shook her head a bit. "I really don't want to..." In some regards, she had never felt so loved in her life. She didn't want to pop the bubble that it felt like they were in. It felt strange to be skin to skin like this with someone, but it wasn't bad. Just different. She wasn't really averse to it. She should have felt incredibly vulnerable, but she didn't. She felt warm, loved, and protected... She hadn't felt like this in a very long time. Not to say that Juliane didn't offer her warmth, love, and a sense of protection but... It was a different type. This felt whole hearted and she almost felt...complete. It felt like some sort of hole that had been in her heart had been filled. She...could really get used to this feeling.   He shifted so he could kiss her head and he rubbed her back with one hand. "This...really does feel nice. I never thought I'd get to do this with you. I'm...glad you were my first."   She flushed a bit. "I don't regret it either." She was pretty sure a part of her would always love Dimitri, but it was never meant to be. It just wasn't. This... She didn't regret it. He had been so gentle and caring with her and it had been an entirely positive experience. She had had her anxiety, but it wasn't the end of the world. If anything, it seemed like he'd been more nervous than she had. She'd been the one that had been steady and unflappable despite how her anxiety had spiked a few times during the process. It was still a strange twist of their usual roles.   He tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes. "You're thinking about Dimitri, aren't you?" She glanced away, unable to meet his eye. He softly kissed her and she looked at him, only to be met with a genuine smile. "It's all right. I understand. You still love him despite everything. I know you don't love me. You two were close." She was pretty sure he was hiding hurt but it wasn't like she could control her heart. She really did care about Hubert deeply but yes... A part of her still loved Dimitri.   "Yeah, I am but I don't regret any of this in the slightest; I promise I'm telling the truth." She scooted up to be face to face with him and she kissed him. "You were so gentle with me... It was a good experience and I enjoyed myself. I don't regret you being my first time either... Do I wish things in the past could've worked out differently? Yes, but I'm glad you're my husband. My heart hasn't fully healed from being rejected and it may never be but... you are my future, Hubert. You'll be the father to any children we have together and I'm not upset about that in the slightest." She didn't want to be a mother, but she'd have to have at least one child with him. Just to satisfy the advisers. She would start looking into the consort situation once they got back, but for now...her focus was on him and their growing relationship.   He nodded and touched their noses together. "All right... I don't regret this either. I've loved you for so long..." His gaze did shift a little bit. "About that comment about you being mine... It was--" She gently put a finger on his lips.   "It's fine, Hubert... I know what you meant. You feel incredibly protective over me and want to keep me safe. Plus, you do love me. In that sense, I am yours." She didn't want to talk about the mule in the room at the moment, though. "And whenever you want me, I'll be yours. If you want to give me attention or make love to me, the worst I can say is no. I will never judge you for anything. At absolute worst, all I can say is no." She wouldn't judge him for anything. Well... If he did jump straight to wanting to try to bring her over to the 'pain is pleasure' thing... She'd be incredibly off put and feel a bit betrayed, but she doubted he'd do that. He had been so nervous to suggest anything that she doubted he'd do that. Or, if he did want to do that, he would wait until much later when they were both more comfortable.   He looked relieved and nuzzled their noses together. "I know I may have to one day share your heart with others but..."   She hadn't wanted to delve into that but... She kissed him. "Even if I never reciprocate your love...I'll always care about you. Nothing will change that. You've been in my life as long as I can remember. I wouldn't be who I am without you and you are so very important to me." She petted his cheek and saw him smile, relaxing a bit. She felt bad she couldn't reciprocate his feelings, but that didn't mean she wouldn't care about him. She would always care about him. That much was true.   "I'm glad. I will always be loyal to you no matter what comes out way." He tucked their foreheads together and closed his eyes. She followed his lead and rested against him.   For a while, they stayed like that, holding each other and being close. But, eventually, he did shift and she opened her eyes to look at him. "We probably should get ready for the day..." She nodded reluctantly. He kissed her before sitting up and they both got out of bed, though she did look over at him before she changed into anything.   "Do you want to start off with that sparring match or do something else?" She was fine with whatever he wanted to do. She just wanted to know what to change into...   "We probably should do that sparring match, then you can do some drills if you want." She nodded and pulled on a shirt and some pants. It kinda felt strange to almost act like nothing had happened... Just going about their day like normal now that they had finished up with what they were doing. She could see why people tended to save it for the evening before bed instead of first thing in the morning. But she didn't regret it. It was just a...strange digression from the days they'd had so far.   They left the room after getting dressed and he looked at her. "I'll go get the healer. You can head down to the training grounds... The ground should be fine by now or so I would think."   "All right." They parted ways and she headed to the outdoor training grounds. Guards milled about, some practicing, some talking to each other while they recovered from sparring matches. She found a practice blade and started running through some drills to warm up and wait for Hubert. He had a bit of a long round trip, so she figured it was the best way to handle things. Still, it did feel strange after what she'd done... Part of her almost felt changed but...nothing truly had changed in her. It just felt like something had though...   Eventually, Hubert came down with the healer and picked up his own practice blade. The matches were pretty fierce and she kept getting knocked by his blade. She felt her frustration growing, but each hit made her more bound and determined to get back to where she'd been. He battered her pretty well by the time they wrapped up and she had a noticeable limp. The healer was none too pleased, but he patched her up regardless of his annoyance. She promised him she was done for right now at least, so he went back to the infirmary.   Well. She was still going to run drills for a little while, but that would be by herself while Hubert relaxed. So for quite a while after, she went over sets she remembered from her training that had been pounded into her head. Her muscle memory helped her to some degree, but she really just needed to start running drills more than every so often. Plus, it didn't help that she was so used to her past distancing and range... That was a major contributing factor to why Hubert kept battering her so much. Her reach was a bit longer now and she had more weight to drive behind her strikes. But her legs were also longer which tripped her up. There were so many small factors that added up to create really big problems for her. She would've died multiple times over had that been a real combat situation.   Eventually, though, she put the practice blade away and sat next to Hubert, wiping his brow. She rested her head against his shoulder and he stroked her head. "Feeling any better now?"   She shook her head. "I have so many issues... There are so many little things tripping me up to create massive problems when I fight you." If she had kept up with her training through her growth spurt, she probably wouldn't be having these problems. But she had stopped her combat basically cold as soon as she'd returned to Adrestia. She simply hadn't had the time to keep up with complex drill sequences and hours-long sparring matches. With the court needing to be cleaned up, it had taken all of her attention. She was a mess on the battlefield now and was glad she was in a relatively isolated place so the arms masters and knights didn't see how far her skills had fallen.   "You'll get there in time. We haven't been sparring for that long. And once I have two, maybe three more days to relax, we can have much longer sparring sessions. Two or three hours if you'd be so inclined."   "Oh, I would be." She was bound and determined to get back up to some permissible par of combat skills. She was so subpar right now that she was outright embarrassed. She could only imagine that she wasn't inspiring a lot of confidence in the soldiers when they were watching their Empress flounder about like a fish tossed onto a flame while still alive. She was a graduate of Garreg Mach. She should've been better than this. The soldiers didn't say anything, but she was pretty sure they weren't happy or inspired to see their Empress being battered day in and day out by one of the most infamous mages in the Empire.   "I figured as much which is why I offered. The healers won't be too happy but..." He shrugged. No, they weren't too happy with her but she didn't care. Their duty was to serve their Empress at the vacation home and they did exactly that. If she got injured, it was their job to take care of her. And considering she was getting injured in the sparring matches by Hubert’s hefty wallops, she definitely needed the healers to be there.   "I would definitely appreciate the longer sparring sessions. But I won't push you to do anything you don't want to yet. It's probably getting close to lunch time..." She looked at the position of the sun and it was getting close to being overhead. "After that, we could do my magic lessons for a while longer." He had just watched her run drills for quite a while, but was still trying to be cognizant of his desires too. She wouldn't be averse to taking a bit longer on the magic lessons than the normal hour or so. Plus, she did have something to work toward...   She looked up and saw him flush a bit. "Well, we can definitely review some of the theory for...other types of magic if you'd be so inclined. You won't be able to perform it yet, but..." She nodded. Yeah, she wouldn't mind working on the sex magic too... She would probably be a blushing mess the entire time they worked on it, but she did want to try to learn it too... She would probably be able to get creative with it. She had a creative mind in some ways, so she would probably be able to think of ways to use it that he might not. "Very well then." He kissed her head then stood and offered his hand to her. She took it and interlaced their fingers, looking up at him with a smile.   "Let's go." With that, they headed up to their room. They took their meal and she changed from her sweaty training clothes over to a more comfortable dress and leggings. After that, they started on magic theory. They mostly focused on normal basics, but they did spend about an hour on sex magic. Which reduced both of them to blushing, stuttering messes. She knew they'd get better with it in due time, but for now, they were both extremely bashful and awkward about it. Still, she picked up the ideas behind the principles pretty quickly, but the actual execution of it was above her current level. She was able to perform basic spells even with as little as they'd studied already, but sex magic...due to how sensitive it could be, he told her not to try to mess with it until she was more solid in her foundations. Still, it didn't hurt to learn the principles and theory before executing it.   By time they finished up with that, the shadows were growing long and the day was drawing to a close. "So what do you want to do for a bit until we take our bath?" She pulled her knees to her chest, looking up at him. She wasn't particularly keen to go on a walk around the time the sun was setting. If it was broad daylight, it'd be one thing. But she had no idea if bandits frequented this area or not. She didn't want to learn and risk their safety. He was Emperor now, so his life held as much weight as her own did. He might not see it that way, but it was the truth.   "Hm, I suppose that is a good question. Maybe we could go play mancala in the courtyard for a while, then settle in for the evening?" She looked at the chess board which they hadn't touched that day, then at the stack of board games still on the nightstand. They really ought to continue the chess match but...she just didn't feel like it. She wanted to learn but she just didn't feel like tackling it today.   So she nodded. "All right." Mancala would relax her as well, so she saw no reason to say anything against it. They headed outside with the board and sat at a small, mobile table. She rested her cheek in her hand and her elbow against the table as they played.   "So earlier wasn't too bad then...?" The question snapped her out of her concentration on the strategy and she looked up at him.   She shook her head, a blush creeping up her neck. "Not at all... I was still a bit anxious at points, but I was fairly fine overall. You don't have to worry so much, Hubert. You handled things well and made sure I was fine every step of the way...even if you were a bit mean at times." She teased a little with the last statement, but she was being truthful. In its own way, it had kind of been a form of torture, taking things so slowly, but she had definitely needed it. He had clearly been enjoying himself, so she wasn't going to tell him to not do it. It had felt pretty nice.   "I'm glad. It's just hard to think I might've done anything to harm you. Or worse, further traumatise you. But...I suppose it would've been apparent if you'd been harmed or traumatised. You aren't exactly good at hiding your emotions, my-- Edelgard." Her expression flattened at that. She knew she was pretty transparent, but it wasn't fun to be reminded of that. It was one reason he and Julaine had to be so vigilant. She could so easily be taken advantage of if she wasn't careful. She felt bad those two had to be so vigilant on her behalf, but with most of the old guard being gone in the court, she had at least been able to grow along the younger generation and understand their tricks and traps.   "Yeah, you're right about that. You would definitely have known if I were traumatised." She reeled pretty badly whenever she encountered something negative, so she definitely would not be so chipper if he had hurt her in any shape, way, or form. Especially if she had been traumatised. Despite everything, she did smile at him. "Like I said earlier...I wouldn't be opposed to doing it on the regular and exploring more..." She felt the heat creep back into her cheeks. This was still incredibly awkward for her to talk about. They were at least fairly alone in the courtyard. Considering the day was winding down, that was probably why.   She did see a bit of pink enter his cheeks. "I...definitely wouldn't mind either. It...was pretty nice. And there are a lot of different things we can do together whenever and if ever you feel up to exploring those particular avenues. Those books you read were very...tame in comparison to some of the things I've learned about." She felt her own cheeks heat further.   "T-Tame?" For her, they were pretty flustering and in-depth to read. There was more outside of that?   He looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. "My mother had me read a lot of stuff like this so I could please whomever I ended up with. I never saw the point in it until now. I read them, but...I was never particularly happy about it. There's...a lot that can be done." She wasn't sure if she wanted to know even half of what he did. But still... She wondered why his mother had forced him to read such stuff... But it might come in handy, she supposed. If the world of sex and sex magic was as wide as he implied...they might be busy for a while. Though, of course, they didn't need to jump in on all of it at once.   "O-Okay... Well, you'll have to let me know what books to read so I can feel like I can make a proper choice." She didn't want to charge blindly into something before doing it. After having been tortured like she had been, she doubted she'd ever get into the 'pain is pleasure' mindset though. She couldn't imagine being bound and tortured like that for the sake of pleasure. It sounded like an absolute nightmare to her. But she doubted Hubert would really be into that...   He nodded. "But for now, though, we'll just keep things quiet and gentle. No need to rush into the hardcore stuff before we're ready to even consider it." He rested a hand on hers and squeezed it. He smiled at her and she returned it. He was so good to her and she was glad. Other partners might try to push her into things before she was ready or could really give any sort of informed consent... She wanted to be able to choose what she did with full knowledge or at least good enough knowledge she would understand in depth.   "Of course. I know you would never push me into something I was uncomfortable with." She stood up and leaned across the table to kiss him, lingering a little bit. She was glad that he was willing to run things by her and help her understand to the best of her ability. He could explain things to her well enough, but she still felt like books would give her more information. She didn't think he'd hide anything from her, but still... She'd rather have as much information as possible to try to make that educated decision from. She sat back down and he squeezed her hand. "I'll never do that." It was then that he stood up and offered her a hand. "Not to completely mess up the flow of this conversation but...would you like to dance?" She blinked at the suddenness but smiled softly and placed her hand in his. "I'd love to." She stood and they walked a bit away from the table. It didn't take too long for them to start moving with the natural music of the world: the wind in the leaves, the crunch of grass underfoot, the song of the birds... She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes, feeling completely at ease and peaceful. She hadn't felt like this in so, so very long. She felt so warm and safe with him and earlier had only reassured her of that. "I might have ideas for things we can do in the future but...I'll keep things relatively tame for now. I don't want to potentially upset you. I know...a wide spectrum of things that can be done due to my various studies." She looked up at him and he shook his head. "The things my mother made me study... I'm not sure if I should be thankful or not." "We'll have to wait and see how things turn out. But I still would like to read books if things get more...intense." If things were relatively safe and calm like they'd been during that morning's session, she wouldn't have any reason to need any further information. The books had covered a decent range of topics or at least so she felt like. At least enough to get her started and go for a bit. She was enjoying their time together like this. In some regards, she had never felt closer to somebody before in her life. Tobias had been her best friend for her childhood, her years, her oldest brother, but even that hadn't felt as close as this. She was really enjoying this time with Hubert. Almost every moment was making her smile...except for the chess. She wasn't enjoying that for the sake of it. "Of course. Like I said, I won't push things to extremes until you feel more comfortable and confident...and myself too, I suppose. I can't believe what a stammering mess I wass..." He sighed and she nuzzled her nose against his chest. "It's all right. You were worried about making sure I didn't have a bad first experience. I'm thankful for that. I really am. Though it was odd seeing you be such a mess." It really had been. She'd never known him to be so concerned and fragile, at least not in that way. "Is that a common feeling for you?" "Actually...I experience that almost all the time; I just don't show it. Whenever you're in any sort of danger, I worry the worst may happen. Whether it be physical, mental, or emotional... I truly worry for you each and every day." His tone softened to the point she could barely hear him speak. She felt bad for making him feel like that...but it was what he had been raised to think and feel. And he had said his duty to her was personal, not obligation. She still wondered when and how it had turned from being purely obligational. "Hubert...if you don't mind my asking, how and when did you turn from duty to personal loyalty? I've been wondering for a long time." She couldn't help but wonder, especially as he talked now. She had long thought about it though she had never felt comfortable asking. But now that they were opening up to each other more, she hoped that he wouldn't mind answering that. Or if it was still out of reach for her. She knew he might never answer a lot of her questions. He was so used to holding back most everything for her. She kept reinforcing that she wanted him to be open and honest with her, but she wasn't sure if it'd ever get through to him and bear fruit. They hadn't been married that long, so she'd only had a little while to try to reinforce that for him… She felt him hesitate before he sighed. "It only took a few months, to be completely honest. I saw how easily hurt you could be due to the fights you had with Anselma as well as your siblings. You were so incredibly sensitive. And...you treated me so well. I thought it was drudgey having to follow somebody around so often, but seeing you be so wholly and unapologetically yourself... I could see you needed a protector. Your family did a decent job of it, but you still needed somebody outside of your family. So I chose to become that person. The person who would never judge or abandon you if I had a choice. We were young, yes, but I could see how desperately you craved human connection." He gently tilted her head up with one hand and kissed her forehead tenderly. "I chose then to be the one that would always be by your side through thick or thin. I would never leave you alone if I could help it." She frowned a bit as she thought. "I can only imagine how it felt when you learned I had had been taken to the Kingdom, then kidnapped by your own father." They had never really touched on any of this before. She had never felt like she would receive an honest answer from him. She knew he did things behind her back and against her wishes and that he suppressed things for her own good. But...she wanted to hear about him and his feelings now. They were married. A husband should still feel comfortable talking to his wife... She wanted to foster that sort of environment for them. "I was devastated both times. When I learned you had been taken to th eKingdom, I tried to find you. I ran for three days until the Imperial guard caught me. I fought and screamed the whole way back. I couldn't leave you like that, but I was forced to. I had never been close with my father before I learned he took you and gave you to the Agarthans, but after he told me he had been the one to take you...I was livid. He was the one that impressed on me the importance of House Hresvelg and our legacy of service. And yet he betrayed the Empire. Twice. Once for that damnable Insurrection and again for taking you." His jaw clenched and his grip on her tightened considerably, though not enough to hurt her. It was protective and desperate, not wanting to let her go. She ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry to bring up such terrible memories but...I couldn't help but wonder." Her voice was quiet. She probably shouldn't have asked such questions of him. She knew she was in painful territory for him. He would probably never forgive himself for losing her twice and being unable to protect her. They were no doubt his greatest failures in his mind. But it wasn't like he could've done much especially when she'd been taken by her uncle (before he'd been changed by the Agarthans). But how many more times would he feel he had failed her when she'd been injured in battles at Garreg Mach? He probably had a lot of built up self-hatred now that she thought about it… His jaw and body tension relaxed, though his grip on her remained protective. "I expected it someday... I probably shouldn't have told you but... Well, you've said you want to hear about my feelings. It's not easy opening up to you when I've had to shove my feelings down all my life to be your vassal. And I'll have to continue to do so to be an effective Emperor." He sighed and she leaned up to kiss him. "When it's just us two, you can act however you want to... You don't need to press down everything when you're with me." She smiled up at him, her expression gentle. He had no need to hide who he was anymore in her mind. He had earned the right to be able to show his emotions and feel what he wanted to. She held no judgment for him. She was surprised at seeing him react to things in certain ways, to see him so vulnerable, to see him so...human. But she didn't judge him for it. He still had feelings like everyone else did. She had always been one to wear her heart on her sleeve while he was the opposite. "I'll try but...no promises." He touched their foreheads together and kissed her softly. She returned the gesture and pulled back after a moment. She hoped that he would feel comfortable fully expressing himself someday. She wanted him to feel comfortable to be...himself for once in his life. It would mean the world to her that he actually got to be himself and be free for once. He was no longer shackled to be her vassal. He could be her equal now and they could stand side by side of one mind and thought... She truly hoped they could achieve that one day. "Your best is all I ask." She shifted so she could rest both of her hands on his cheeks and kissed him again. It was soft and lingering. It was about then that she heard a soft chuckle from the walkway surrounding the courtyard and she felt her cheeks flush hotly. She looked over and saw Augusta. The woman's green eyes shone in amusement. "Oh, don't mind me; I didn't mean to interrupt your moment." "M-Mother Augusta!" She couldn't believe she'd gotten caught doing something like this. Then again...she was an adult that could make her own decisions. It wasn't like she was an eight year old where the thought of kissing boys was icky. She could form her own opinions and choose her own actions. "El... I think you and I should have a bit of a talk. I hope you don't mind me stealing her from you for a little while, Hubert." Augusta smiled, eyes still shining with amusement. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "I don't mind at all, Lady Augusta. I'll meet up with you in our room, my-- Edelgard." He picked up the game board and left the pair of women alone. Edelgard felt mortified. What could Augusta possibly want to discuss with her? "Follow me to my room." The walk back there was silent, Edelgard blushing furiously. Augusta simply smiled the whole time. When they got to her room, they settled on her bed and Augusta wrapped her arms around Edelgard. "Sorry to interrupt your moment but...something tells me you're ignoring your own emotions, El. You've always been a people pleaser and one to ignore how to feel in order to let others take over." Edelgard looked up at her and tilted her head. "What do you mean?" Well... Yes, she was definitely a people pleaser. She couldn't deny that. She tried so hard to be what other people wanted. She tried to be a good Empress. She tried her absolute hardest to be what people wanted her to be... It often did come at her own expense and she often felt exhausted at the end of the day. That was one reason she was enjoying this vacation so much... She didn't have to be any of that. She could just be Edelgard. She could relax as much as she wanted to without any sort of repercussions politically. She hated having to suppress her own thoughts and wants and needs, but it was what was best for the Empire… "And I think that's the problem here. Have you told Hubert you love him yet?" She frowned at that. "I...don't think I do, Mother Augusta. I still love Dimitri... What I feel for Hubert doesn't remotely feel the same as what I feel for Dimitri." She could tell that much. She often wasn't good with her own emotions and identifying them. But she knew she wasn't in love with Hubert... Right? She looked to the previous generation of Imperial women for guidance. They had much more life experience than she did and a wider array of thoughts to draw from. She was only twenty; that wasn't that old in the grand scheme of things and she had been sheltered pretty much her whole life. She had spent pretty much her entire life locked up in Enbarr's palace. She didn't have much to draw on... And her memory issues only made things far harder. "Love can manifest in different ways and feel different toward different people. Before I married your father, I was in love with a servant that been in my service for many years. We grew up together, much in the same way you and Hubert did. What I felt for him felt pretty different from what I felt for your father. But both of them were love. I think that might be what's happening here." Edelgard continued to frown as she listened to Augusta talk. She hadn't ever thought about that. The two emotions felt so incredibly different to her. But...there was overlap there, she supposed. There was a lot of warmth and safety she felt with both of them. And she was okay with the idea of both of them doing things to her… Oh. "I...guess you might be right. There is a fair bit of overlap between what I feel for them..." She had thought they were completely different, but they weren't so different after all. It was hard to believe just how quickly she had fallen though... She knew whirlwind romances were a thing that happened occasionally, but she really hadn't expected this to happen. She was perfectly at ease around Hubert and he made her feel warm and safe... She had felt much the same with Dimitri. The main difference was what she felt for Dimitri was that it was kind of a low feeling, but with Hubert, it was a lot of warmth and fondness. Those were not good descriptors, but trying to put feelings into words wasn't exactly her strong suit.   "I mean I'm not too surprised it happened so quickly... You two already had such an incredibly strong bond. It just took seeing his human side a little more to really nudge you over the edge. I didn't intend to eavesdrop, but I did hear quite a bit of your conversation and watched how you two interacted. There's definitely love there between both of you." She smiled. "Granted, it may not entirely be romantic on your end, or at least not fully quite yet... But there is genuine love for him in your heart in some shape, way, or form." Her face went entirely red at that. So she knew what they'd done... Oh Divine, how embarrassing. But...she could see what the woman was saying. She did feel legitimate fondness and passion for him. She wasn't entirely sure if it was romantic or not, but...there was some form of love for him there. She could see it now that it'd been brought to her attention. So she nodded. "It does make sense... I can see it now. I'm not sure if it's romantic or not but...there is some legitimate love for him there." She opted to not go into the mule in the room. She didn't want to talk about her private time with him unless necessary. Augusta smiled. "Anyway, that was all I wanted to say. Go and wind down for the night now." At least the woman hadn't pushed the topic of their private time too much. Edelgard bowed and excused herself before heading back to her and Hubert's room. He sat at the desk and flipped through a book, not paying her any heed as she entered the room. "Well, that was a short discussion," he observed. "She was pretty to the point. No need to pussyfoot around half the time." This wasn't court where everything needed to be said through ten layers of propriety with a large dash of ulterior motives. They were family. They could be as blunt as they wanted to be. Still... She hadn't quite expected that. She did feel a lot of legitimate warmth when it came to Hubert... She wasn't going to deny that. She still wasn't sure if it was romantic or not but...she really did care about him deeply and with a fair bit of passion. "Entirely fair. Though she was still probably gentler than I usually am." “You're not one to mince words at all, no." She chuckled, smiling as she rested her head against his. "Want to head into the bath?" After the long string of drills she'd run that morning, she definitely needed to get the sweat and grime off of her. She didn't necessarily feel disgusting but...she definitely needed a bath to cleanse her body of the accumulated sweat. She wasn't one to want to train for a few days and not bathe... That made her feel disgusting. "All right." She let her arms drop to her side and he stood up. They got their clothes together and she set up the tub, then had Hubert put her hair up. After that, they both sunk into the bath. She couldn't help but dwell on everything Augusta had said though. She had fallen hard and fast if she really was in love with him romantically... It was hard to believe she'd gone from seeing him as her vassal to a legitimate romantic interest... She still wasn't entirely sure if that was what her love translated to or not though... Still... She could reciprocate his feelings in some shape, way, or form. "Edelgard?" His voice cut through her haze and she blinked, looking at him. "Are you all right? You didn't respond to me the first few times I said anything to you. Do you want to wash my hair or not?" "Oh, sorry..." His hair was already damp from having been dunked. She managed to snap herself out of it long enough and started to wash his hair, making sure to take her time and let it feel nice for him. She really did appreciate being able to do for him in return. She would never be able to return all the service he'd given to her for so much of his life. He said she owed him nothing in response, but she really wanted to thank him for what he'd done for her. It felt good to be able to reciprocate. She wanted them to be able to do for each other. They washed up and headed back to the bed after that and she rested against him. "Is anything wrong? You seem...spacey tonight. Did Lady Augusta say something to upset you?" His tone was soft and he ran a hand through her hair. She shook her head. "She just gave me something to think about is all. Apparently she was watching us for a little while and thinks I might be in love with you in some form... I can't say I entirely disagree." She frowned and looked up at him. "I just can't be sure if it's romantic or not..." She didn't want to give him false pretenses. She didn't want to lead him on and make him feel like he could make her fall for him romantically. But...she definitely did feel for him deeply. He blinked but nodded and kissed her softly. "I won't pretend it is romantic if it isn't but...it is nice to hear. Even if it only ever remains an ambiguous feeling, I'll appreciate it. You don't have to ever say 'I love you' if you don't want to... You don't have to try to delude yourself into something you don't feel." She shifted to sit in his lap and leaned up, kissing him softly but lingering a little bit. "Well... I do love you in some form, so it's not a lie. I might say it in due time though... For now, I won't but maybe in the future. I do feel incredibly strongly for you, Hubert... I care about you. I want to see you happy. I want to see you flourish and be at my side for the rest of our lives... I never want you to feel like you can't talk to me about anything. I want you to feel as safe as I do..." Maybe...it was romance. She still couldn't say entirely though... That did sound an awful like romantic feelings when she put it into words like that. She heard him swallow and he nodded, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. "I know that's what you're working toward...and I can't say if I'll ever reach that feeling or not...but I'm glad you are trying to make me feel like I have a place to be myself." He rested his forehead against hers and she closed her eyes. She really hoped she could make him feel safe one day... From what little she knew of his familial relationships, he had really been drilled into only worrying about keeping House Hresvelg safe... She wasn't sure if he'd ever really been able to be himself... She wasn't sure if he even had a self outside of his duty to her. That...was a sad thought now that she put it into words like that. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I really hope you do feel safe with me someday." Her words were hushed, barely reaching his ears. She really wanted this marriage to be one of reciprocity. She didn't want them to be unequal. She wanted them to be open and honest with each other. They may never meet that... But she hoped one day they would. It would be great if they could… He ran a hand down the side of her face and didn't say anything, simply holding her close. He leaned back against the pillows a bit and she shifted to tuck against his chest, head tucked under his chin. They laid there like that for a little while until it was almost pitch dark in the room. "We should get to bed..." She nodded and sighed. "Yeah..." She got off of him and laid next to him. He wrapped his arms around here and they both closed their eyes, soon drifting off in warmth and comfort from the closeness of their bond.