Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Edelgard felt a kiss placed on her head along with a soft shake. She tensed a little bit but realised it was only Hubert when she heard his voice. "It's time to wake up for our sparring session." His tone was quiet, trying not to disturb her too much. She placed a hand over her mouth as she yawned, nuzzling into his chest. "Morning..." she muttered. It was still early but she did want to go spar... She just wanted to stay and lay with him for a while first. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and he pulled her close. "Good morning." He kissed her head again and she tucked her head under his chin. He rubbed her back and she nuzzled against his chest. She was pretty sure she could sense him smiling in amusement. She hadn't known she was so affectionate when she was woken up early. But, then again, he did make her feel safe. She so rarely ever got a sense of safety and warmth like this. She trusted him so entirely that she really was glad he was her husband. There was no romance on her part but she really was glad he loved her. It felt good to be loved by somebody so wholly and completely. "Honestly, Hubert, I am glad you confessed to me. I know I don't reciprocate your feelings and I can't guarantee I ever will but...it does feel nice to be loved by somebody romantically." She hoped she could return his feelings one day. She knew she couldn't force it, but he did make her feel safe in a way nobody else could. She still wished things could've worked out between her and Dimitri but...this wasn't a bad feeling. Plus, she could at least be aware of Hubert's feelings and not have it be overly complicated... Granted, if she did fall in love with a consort, it would make things complex... But she would worry about that if it happened. She hadn't even contacted the potential consorts yet, but she would have to in due time. He rubbed her arm. "I was worried I would sway your feelings toward me and make you feel like you had to love me, but I guess my fears were misplaced. It...does feel nice to let you know though." She could only imagine how hard it must have been for him to watch her be with Dimitri like she had been but that ultimate hadn't worked out. She'd been rebuffed and had accepted his decision. It had hurt, but they still remained close. He was still her brother in the end and she was more than happy to have a brother if nothing else. She shook her head. "I hope I can reciprocate someday but I know I can't force my feelings. It...would be nice if I could, though; that way I could give you everything you want. You've sacrificed so much for me. You've given your entire life over to me. I really want to give you something back..." "I... You don't owe me anything. I did all of this out of my own desire to see you happy. If you're happy with our arrangement, then that's enough for me." She nodded. "I...am actually pretty happy with it. You care about me and want to see me happy. That's all I could ask for in a relationship. Respect, care, warmth, and happiness... That's all I want in lieu of actual love." And he could offer her all of those things. "Plus, you make me feel safe." She rested her head against his chest. That was the biggest thing. She felt like she could talk to him about anything even if she was mortified. His openness with her made her feel like she could be as open and honest with him as needed. Were there things she'd never told him in their lives? Of course. He was one of her closest confidantes but it didn't mean she had to tell him everything that ever went through her mind. But now that they were close to being intimate... She did need to be more open and honest with him. "I'm glad. I really am." His voice was quiet and his grip on her tightened a little bit. She could guess what was going through his mind right now. He had failed to protect her twice in their lives, but it wasn't his fault. He had been a literal child when she'd been taken to the Kingdom and he had only been a teenager when his father had taken her for the Crest experiments. Still... She knew those perceived failures did weigh heavily on his mind. He rarely spoke of them, but when they did come up, she could see the slight dropping of his shoulders and the glancing away. It probably remained large in his mind that he might still fail to protect her in the future. She shifted so she could be face to face with him, though it was nearly impossible to see him in the pitch black of the room. Even so, she managed to bump their foreheads together and brushed his hair off his face. She smiled at him and kissed him. "I trust you with everything that I am, Hubert. I'll never not feel safe with you." She kissed him again, putting a bit of heat behind it. There was no love there, but she wanted to show him her feelings. She cared about him so much. She really did. And she knew he loved her now so... Honestly, it felt a bit freeing in some regards... She didn't have to worry about the marriage being purely loveless. There was so much legitimate love coming from him… He returned the kiss with a bit of heat and she felt him pull her closer, making her flush a little bit. After the kiss ended, he cleared his throat a bit. "Ah... Forgive me... I didn't mean--" She cut him off with another kiss though it was soft. "Don't apologise. I want you to show me what you're feeling and thinking. I told you. I want us to be as open and honest as possible." She knew that was hard for him with how he tended to keep everything bottled up. But she wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling. She was a little bit surprised, but she had definitely seemed to unlock something in him that he had probably spent his entire life trying to deny. She couldn't imagine how hard it had to be to hold back his love for her for so long… "Of course... It's just...hard." His voice was a little fragile. She really was pushing him but was it such a bad thing? She wasn't sure how much he had had to force down for his entire life. His love for her, his sexual attraction to her, and so much more... He had denied himself so much for so long. She couldn't even begin to try to wrap her mind around what all he had been forced to deny. He would be able to show it to her later today… She was quiet for a moment, considering what to say, until she spoke again very quietly. "Would you like to skip our morning session and skip straight to our plans for this evening?" She had planned to wait until after dinner but... That one kiss had definitely betrayed the longing in his heart for her. It was still pitch black so they'd have to wait until the sun rose for full light but...she wasn't against the idea. With how silent it was, she heard him swallow hard. "Are you sure...? I don't want to--" She cut him off with another kiss, leaning into it. There wasn't much heat behind it, but the forcefulness made her thoughts clear. She was the one suggesting it. She was okay with it. She understood why he was afraid, but she could sense the longing in him. She really couldn't imagine just how much he wanted to do this with her and for how long... She was giving her full consent for this. The circumstances were still coerced but...she was choosing how and when they would do it. She wasn't against sharing this with him at least as a way to show affection toward each other. After she pulled back, she felt him rest a hand on her cheek. "I... All right. I understand." He ran his hand down the side of her face, foreheads still rested together. "There's some time until dawn though... I don't think it'd be wise to start when we can't really see anything." "Yeah, definitely not a good idea. Until then, though, we can just lay here and enjoy each other's company." She touched their noses together and ran a hand over his cheek. She was definitely nervous about this but...she'd had time to get used to it and adapt to the idea. She was choosing to do this of her own volition. The advisers had basically forced them into having sex, but she was still choosing when and how it happened. With his confession, she felt so much more at peace with this entire decision. She could let him show her how he felt about her and she could do the same in turn. "Have I...swayed your feelings at all though? I...don't want it to feel like I'm pressing you into this decision at all." She pursed her lips together. "Well, yes, they did sway me, but I'm still making this decision on my own. You didn't manipulate me in any shape, way, or form, Hubert. I just made a decision with all of the information I had available. I know you did not have that intention when you told me about your emotions. Plus, it wasn't like you knew I'd feel comfortable using sex as a way to show affection toward people if they're okay with it." She couldn't blame him in the slightest. Yes, his emotions did sway her, but she had fully informed consent. She was just pushing up what they had already agreed to. "I can't help but feel like I'm forcing you into this..." His voice dropped a bit and she kissed him softly. "You're not; I promise you that. I'm acting on what I feel is a good idea. Am I nervous? Of course, but I already told you I was. It's my first time. I think it's okay for me to feel a bit nervous." She really didn't feel like there was any manipulation or she was being pushed into it at all. "If you're uncomfortable with it, we don't have to." This went both ways like she'd told him. If he was uncomfortable and didn't want to, she wouldn't push him into it. She wanted them to be on the same page here. She knew him speaking up for himself would be hard but she hoped he wouldn't keep something like this from her. His response was to pull her into quite the heated kiss which surprised her, but she reciprocated. When they pulled back for air, he rested his forehead against hers again. "That...is how I really feel about you...and being able to share this with you." His voice was incredibly quiet and she nodded. "I do want this... I have...for a very long time." She smiled and nuzzled their noses together. "And that's why I'm okay moving this up. I made the decision on my own. I'm fully okay with this. You aren't forcing or coercing me in any shape, way, or form. I  promise." She really wanted to make it clear he hadn't done anything to hurt or manipulate her. She made this decision knowing full well what would happen. She was perfectly okay with it. She felt him nod. "All right." His tone was still a little quiet, but it was more relaxed than before. She hoped her reception to the kiss was showing him she was indeed okay with it. There was no coercion...outside of what the advisers were forcing. It was her decision on when and how they did it. And this was fully her choice. She had nothing against what they were going to do. Still, she couldn't help but feel a bit of anxiety flutter in her chest and stomach. She knew he wouldn't hurt her and they would talk through everything beforehand. And if they needed to step back and revise at any point, they would. If she felt the need to stop, they would. Same for him. They were completely on the same page here. They would be open and honest with each other through the whole process.   She nuzzled into his chest and rested against him while they waited for the sun to rise. Eventually, light peeked around the edges of the curtains. He kissed her head then got up and slipped over, opening them so they could have the full light of the sun. It was still very pale, but they could at least see. As he sat back on the bed and she sat up, he did tap his chin. "Think we should have breakfast first?"   "Might not be a  bad idea." She had no idea how long this would go honestly... And if they ended up enjoying it, they might go multiple rounds... It was probably best to eat something beforehand. She wasn't terribly hungry at the moment, but she knew she would be soon enough. So she shifted to sit against the pillows and pulled her knees to her chest. She saw Hubert flag down a servant and then he came back, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "We should probably talk about what we want to do, huh?" She could definitely feel the anxiety in her chest, but it wasn't overwhelming. She just hoped it seemed like she wasn't jumping on him or anything... They had agreed and she wanted to be clear on what they did.   He kissed her head and nodded. "We should." She rested her head against his side and snuggled in as close as she could. "My main worry is doing something that'll harm you, so there should definitely be some sort of build up."   She tented her fingertips together and nodded. She kept her gaze on her fingers, not really able to meet his eye out of anxiety. It was her first time, so this was to be expected. It wasn't crippling enough to stop her, though. She was okay with doing this. She had been the one to suggest it. "Yeah, definitely. The books I've read and skimmed were written by women for women...or at least those born in female bodies." She hadn't met anybody like that herself, but she knew they existed. "They said that the woman being ready was so important. Bleeding might or might not happen, but it really shouldn't be as painful as a lot of the horror stories I've heard..." She really had heard a ton of horror stories about women in loveless arranged marriages being in incredible pain when they had sex with their husbands. It shouldn't be that painful according to the books...   She heard him clear his throat. "There...definitely are spells to help with that if needed." She looked up at him, startled. His face had taken on a faint shade of pink and he looked away. "That's...what I was looking up on yesterday after your suggestion. I know there can actually be some overlap between sexual spells and their uses for torture such as sensitivity. I had studied sex magic in the past, but...it'd been a while and I needed a refresher." No wonder he hadn't wanted her to see what he'd been reading. He would have a fair amount of explaining to do... But it did make sense. He really didn't want to hurt her, so looking into those spells would help if it was absolutely needed.   She returned her attention to her tented fingers and nodded. "Ah, now I see why you were avoiding letting me see those books yesterday... If we need to use those spells, it's probably not a bad idea to have them in our repertoire. I don't know if we will or not, but..." Having it as a backup wasn't a bad idea. With those spells, depending on what all they covered, they might be able to jump into things immediately, but she would be more comfortable with some sort of buildup first. "I did read up on a fair few things yesterday so we definitely have options for foreplay... Though...why were you studying sex magic in the past?" She couldn't help but look up at him. His cheeks turned from faint pink to scarlet.   "Like I said...there's a surprising amount of overlap between torture magic and sex magic... Some torture magic is used for sex magic too and vice versa... There are sadists and masochists out there and, for them, the line between pain and pleasure is very fine and often overlaps." That wasn't stuff she'd ever learned about and she didn't see herself ever looking into it. People who liked to be torture for pleasure? After the Crest experiments, she didn't think that would be her cup of tea. She'd been tied up and literally had her flesh torn asunder to the point of extensive scarring on her body... Thankfully, those scars had gone away when Rhea had removed the Crest of Flames.   "I...cannot even imagine how that works and I don't think I want to know. Pleasure and pain should be separate in my books." She shook her head. "Anyway... How much have you learned about sex in general?" She still had a bit of a limited knowledge base due to having really only had read and skimmed about four books. She barely remembered her talks with Juliane due to the fact they'd stressed her out so badly.   "Thankfully...a fair bit considering those sex magic books. Most of the books I read were written by men but I did read some of the same books you did." He glanced over at the stack on the nightstand. "Having both points of view was useful." He cleared his throat again, his cheeks still scarlet. "Though...I never have used any of that knowledge before if you were wondering." She couldn't help but think about it. If he had had sexual partners before, she never would've known... He would've had time while she was trapped beneath the palace for that roughly year and a half. But considering his loyalty and feelings toward her, she wasn't too terribly surprised he never had messed around with anybody before. And it wasn't like he'd had time at Garreg Mach with how he was her shadow and she'd needed him to stay with her at night.   She nodded and settled back against him, looking at her tented fingers again. "I mean that's definitely good... Though I should probably read some more on how to help bring pleasure to a man... There wasn't much of that in those books, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to reciprocate any attention you show to me." It had all been focused on female pleasure and helping a woman feel comfortable with her body. He would probably be able to help her find books on how to give a man pleasure, but that wasn't important for the time being. Their main worry really was making sure she was taken care of so she could receive him with minimal pain for this first time. If they wanted to make it a normal part of their lives... Well, she could learn things as they went along.   He tilted her head up and kissed her softly, though there was a slight spark behind it. "That's perfectly okay, my-- Edelgard. I'm not expecting you to be able to jump into this with all of the experience in the world. I'm more worried about you this time than me. If you want to do it to me at some point, you can. But for now...let's keep the focus on you." She nodded a bit. That was about what she expected to hear him say. But it was also the main worry this time. She honestly wasn't too worried about him either... Men were often much more reactive than women tended to be from her understanding.   "Is there anything you had thoughts on doing to me...?" She looked at him. His cheeks were still red and he looked bashful. She knew he wanted to do to her out of his own feelings... He had admitted he'd gotten off more than once before so she couldn't help but wonder...had she been the center of any fantasies he might have had? The thought did make her cheeks flush. If he had any ideas, she was open to hearing them.   "I do but...if you're uncomfortable with the ideas, please feel free to let me know." He was actually stumbling over his words a bit. She had never seen him so nervous or abashed before.   She rested a hand on his chest and leaned up to kiss him. "I'm fine hearing your ideas, Hubert. You don't have to be embarrassed... I asked for you to tell me." She was perfectly open to hearing his ideas. "The worst thing I'll do is say no." She wouldn't judge him for anything. She had read a fair bit in those books so...she was receptive to ideas on basic sex acts. She hadn't read anything that didn't seem too outlandish... Not like the line between pleasure and pain being blurred and even overlapping. That she couldn't understand. She wasn't sure if he'd be into anything like that but...who knew. But he would probably know to keep it tame for a while if he was into any of those more out-there ideas.   She saw him swallow hard but he nodded. He was definitely really unnerved. She wouldn't be hurt by his suggestions. Suggestions were only words...though words could hurt a lot. He rested a hand on her cheek and bumped their foreheads together. "Well... If you wouldn't mind...I could try a little bit of oral on you." That did make her flush a bit more but she didn't outright revoke it.   She nodded and pressed a kiss into his lips. "All right." She didn't see any reason to veto it. It wasn't like it was anything crazy or tying her up or anything... As far as those books were concerned, that was a pretty normal thing that wasn't worth getting riled up over. She was the one that had been terrified, yet he was the one acting like it was the end of the world. It was a strange swapping of roles... Normally she was the one that was upset or freaking out while he was the one keeping calm and objective. She had never seen him so worked up aside from when he was angry on her behalf.   "And, of course, we don't have to jump straight into that... Well... I've learned how the body works and where there are sensitive spots you might not expect. Before we jump straight to anything, we can do some exploring of that first if you're okay with it." Yeah, they didn't have to jump straight into anything; that was true. There was nothing saying they had a limited amount of time to do anything. The only limiter really was daylight. And considering it wasn't that long after sunrise...they really had all day if they wanted it.   She smiled at him and touched their noses together. "That sounds fine with me." She was at least feeling a little less anxious now that they were working things out. She would probably still have a bit of tension in her body until they were fully done. But she wasn't freaking out or wanting to stop this from happening.   She saw him purse his lips together before he spoke again. "Though...what position would you like? There...are a lot of them. Would you prefer to be in control of the pace or for me...?"   "That's...a good question." She had seen a couple of positions in the books, but none were anything too crazy. There was the traditional position with the woman on the bottom but there had also been several with the woman on top. She wasn't really sure. "Maybe we should just stick to the traditional one for now... If we want to explore later, we can." Plus, she was doing this so he could express his feelings toward her. Of course, they would have to start off slow, but once she adjusted and got comfortable, she could let him go at whatever pace he wanted. She was pretty open to exploring things later on. They didn't have to go after everything all at once.   He nodded. "All right." He ran his hand down the side of her face and kissed her again, though this one lingered. She leaned into it and returned it, trying to show him she was completely and totally receptive to all of this. No, there was no romance on her part, but she was perfectly okay with using this to explore their relationship in a different way that they would hopefully both be comfortable with. She wanted him to be as open and honest with her as possible in every shape, way, and form, and this was no exception. If this felt half as good as what she'd done the previous day... Well, she wouldn't be against doing this on a normal basis outside of just for the sake of having kids. And with the contraceptive spells, she had no worries about having unwanted children. They'd be able to do what they wanted when they wanted and decide if and when they had a family. It was about then that a knock came on the door and Hubert got up to get their breakfast. She settled against him while they ate, feeling pretty good with what they'd talked about. She felt like she had a pretty clear idea of what they were going to do, but if they needed to stop and talk more at any point, they could. She felt safe with Hubert even if he had obviously been a bit flustered in confessing to what he wanted to do to her. She wasn't going to judge him for anything. At worst she could say no and that she was uncomfortable. That was the worst she'd do to him. They finished up eating and he handed the tray off to a servant afterward. He settled on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. She rested against him comfortably, shutting her eyes. She could still feel a bit of anxiety fluttering in her chest, but it wasn't enough to make her want to stop. She felt perfectly comfortable letting him show his feelings toward her like this. It was probably just normal nerves about it being her first time. She knew when her anxiety was overwhelming and when to back off from something. This wasn't that in the slightest. She could deal with it. Eventually, he did tilt her head up and placed a kiss on her lips and she leaned into it, resting her hand on his leg though that made heat creep up her cheeks once she realised he was already quite ready for this. He broke away and his cheeks flushed again. "Ah... I..." She touched their noses together. "It's fine... It's what we're here for, right?" She smiled at him though it was a little shy. She just hadn't quite expected it before they'd even started... Then again, with as much as he had confessed to wanting this, she could imagine just talking about it with her was enough to get him responding. She wasn't quite sure how to handle the fact that it was very clear just how attracted to her that he was. She had never thought she'd have anybody be sexually attracted to her. It caused a bit of dissonance in her mind but she ignored it and let the kiss pick up from where it'd been. He very gently tilted her head back and applied more heat into it and she wrapped her arms around his neck, fully reciprocating. No, she didn't feel the same love for him that he felt for her, but she still held a very deep appreciation and care for him. Her life would be so cold, empty, and alone without him. He offered her such warmth, kindness, and support without expecting anything from her in return. She wanted to be able to show him what he meant to her through whatever means possible. She could still put passion behind her motions even if she didn't feel love for him. He broke when they needed air but kept their foreheads together. One of his hands rested gently on her arm, running up and down her skin. His touch was light and soft. The other rested on her shoulder. He was clearly waiting for something... She leaned up and kissed his nose. "Hubert, it's fine. You don't have to wait for my permission to move on." She didn't want him to feel like he couldn't do what they had already agreed to. They had already talked most of the steps through so she was fine with him doing what he wanted. She saw him swallow then nod. "All right." Even though he was trying to play it cool, she could tell he was nervous. "Would you mind removing your nightgown then or would you rather keep it on...?" Her only response was to move away and slip the garment over her head, tossing it off somewhere onto the floor. It did feel a bit odd to be revealed to somebody like this... She felt a bit of heat creep into her cheeks, but she didn't do anything to cover herself. Yes, they had been in the bath together, but this was different... She could feel the slight charge in the air as if someone was winding up a lightning spell. This had moved from non-sexual to completely sexual. She did feel abashed but she didn't pull away. In fact, she moved back over to him and pulled him into another kiss, placing his hands on her to give him permission to do as he wished. He had said he wanted to explore so...she'd let him. His hands started to skim over her arms and shoulders, touch very tentative but she leaned into the kiss more, trying to help embolden him. She was okay. She was fine. Yes, a little anxious, but not enough that she wanted to or needed to stop. It was just her first time having somebody touch her in such a way, so of course she was nervous. New things did tend to make her at least a little anxious, and with this being so new... Yeah, it only did make sense that she felt that way, but she wanted to encourage him. He moved one of his hands to her cheek and gently tilted her head to the side, his lips leaving hers and slowly kissing down her throat. Oh, that really didn't feel too bad... He had said he would explore so she would let him in whatever way he wanted to. It did feel a bit strange to not be doing anything, but she wanted to let him show her how he felt for her. Once she learned a bit more about a man's pleasure, she could return the favor for him at some point. He kissed around to her jaw, then up to her ear where he spoke softly, his breath tickling over the sensitive skin. "Would you mind if I increased your sensitivity a little?" She shivered, not used to having anyone like that near her aer. He did whisper in her ear sometimes, but considering the situation, she had never really taken it like this... This...was outright sensual. But she gave a small nod. She wasn't against it if it helped her be more ready. He muttered something and she felt warmth pass through her body, almost as if a whisper from a spring breeze. It didn't feel bad, just...a bit strange. She still wasn't really used to having spells cast on her outside of combat magic. As soon as he ran his lips over the top of her ear, it sent tingles through her whole body. Oh. Oh. That definitely felt nice. Not enough to get her super worked up, but a lot of touching like this... Well, it would definitely have an effect no matter how gentle his touch was. She heard him let out an amused 'heh' and he shifted to kiss her again. "I didn't go overboard with it, but it seems like it's definitely having an effect." "Oh, it is..." She couldn't deny it. If this was just a little bit, she wondered what it was like to turn it up further. But she didn't want to overwhelm herself or her senses. This felt like a pretty good compromise... Enough to have an effect without making it overwhelming. He kissed her again briefly before returning to her ears. She shivered under the tingles and he pulled her into his lap fully. She did feel herself flush at his hard on, but she didn't stop him. He moved her hair out of the way and gently brushed his lips over the back of her neck, getting her to shiver more. He then started to gently rub his fingers there and she felt herself practically melting into his hands. Even though his touchers were light, the increased sensitivity definitely had an effect. She heard another amused noise from him, but he didn't say anything. They didn't need words now; they were in the realm of non-verbal communication. He used one hand to tilt her head to the side again, her hair trailing down her side. His lips brushed the top of her ear again and she shivered. Damn it all, she might climax just from these gentle ministrations... He seemed to be pretty intent on making her melt into a puddle of goo with the increased sensitivity. She didn't mind... It was just strange sensations to have what could be normal touches affecting her so much. He continued to gently run his lips all around her ear, his breath over the skin there making her shiver ever so slightly. Even his breaths were having an effect on her. She did hear him speak again. "Are you okay with this level? If it's too much, let me know..." His tone was soft but sensual. She gave a small nod and closed her eyes, letting the tingles continue to ping through her body. It felt like just enough to not overwhelm her. He was pretty good at reading her, she felt like. Enough to have a noticeable effect but not enough to make her want to cry or anything. "Obviously don't leave this on afterward," she murmured. She didn't want to walk through daily life like this. It would drive her absolutely mad to feel the texture of her clothes all hours of the day. She felt like she could practically sense almost every strand of hair as it rested against her skin. This would be absolutely maddening to live like. But for a short while for the sake of pleasure, she was fine with it. "Of course not." Once again, his voice sent tingles through her body and she leaned against him a bit more. Her body was already definitely wanting for more which, in her mind, was a pretty good sign... She could feel it having a positive effect on her which was what both of them were worried about... Plus, this was helping settle her mind a bit which was still worried they were going to jump into everything off the bat. But with this slow touching and teasing... She was relaxing into it more. He started to lightly lip at her earlobe which earned a faint shiver from her. She hadn't known the ears were so sensitive. Of course, part of it was the fact that she'd been enhanced through magic but...he clearly knew that they were sensitive. He had said he knew how the body worked which she didn't doubt... He needed to in order to be effective at torture. She knew he tortured and killed people, but it didn't bother her. She had outright told him to kill Count Varley as soon as she'd learned that the man had been horribly abusive to Bernie. He had said it'd been messy which, again, she didn't doubt. He could be cold and ruthless at times, but he was also perfectly capable of being sweet, gentle, and warm like he was right now. She could feel his hands starting to inch up her abdomen close to her breasts and she gave him a small nod. Not enough to interrupt what he was doing, but enough to make it clear she was fine with him touching her there. He ran his hands over them and she shivered again, the sensitivity rearing its head. As he gently massaged them and lipped at her earlobe, she shivered. Yeah, there was definitely pleasure building and she was pretty aware of it. This sensitivity magic was something else. He had chosen just the right level to make her incredibly receptive while not enough to drive her absolutely insane. She was practically melting into a pile of goo in his lap even though he really hadn't done that much yet. There was no real reason to worry about her being receptive with how much she was feeling every movement he made over her body. She did tense a little and blinked when she felt him start to gently roll her nipples between his fingers but she relaxed against him again, shivering. He did stop but she leaned against him, trying to tell him she was fine. He hesitated for a brief moment before starting again, earning more shivers from her. At least he had gotten the message. She was melting into a pile of pleasure even though he wasn't doing that much yet. The increased sensitivity was doing wonders for her. She probably wouldn't have been this worked up had it not been for that. But she didn't mind... It did feel quite nice. All of this felt wonderful... She wasn't against any of this. She felt him move from his ear and he kissed down her neck again, right where it met the shoulders. He kissed her spine, getting more tingles through her body. "Mm..." She couldn't quite stop the small sound from escaping her lips and she felt herself flush a bit, but she felt him smile against her skin. It did feel very nice even though, again, he wasn't doing that much. "Choose the right level then?" he asked quietly, his breath tickling her skin to earn another shiver from her. "Y-Yeah..." She felt him squeeze her breasts and she shuddered a little bit. OKay, yeah, that definitely had an effect. She exhaled when he did it again, her lower back arching out just a little bit. She heard him chuckle ever so softly. He was really enjoying this apparently... But she was essentially giving him free rein with what he wanted to do. He was still asking permission before touching intimate areas which she appreciated since she might not be quite ready to be touched somewhere yet… One of his hands slipped down her side, the other one still gently massaging her breast and rolling her nipple between his fingers. He caressed the outside of her thigh which made her shiver again. And he went back to her earlobe, lightly nuzzling, lipping, and sucking on it. Damn it this did feel nice even though the assault was very light... The magic was more than doing its work to make her melt. Her body was incredibly loose and he could easily manipulate her as he saw fit. The hand on her thigh started to move over and started to caress her abdomen just below her navel, earning another soft sound from her. He hadn't gone into her underwear. He moved across the top band, but he didn't go inside. He was obviously teasing her. He gave her breast a firm squeeze and she shuddered, a soft gasp escaping her throat. Damn it, this felt good. She hadn't expected to get so much pleasure from simply being teased. That magic was more than doing its job. "Feeling good, are we, my lady?" His tone teased her lightly and she felt her cheeks flush again. She gave a small nod, her eyes still closed as she remained completely relaxed against him. It was at least really getting through to her head that there was nothing to be afraid of. He wasn't rushing into anything in order to get into her pants (metaphorically speaking). He was taking his time and teasing her and making sure she was  more than a bit wound up. It was better to be a bit wound up than not receptive to him at all... At least he was relaxing into it too... It was hard to ignore his hard on pressing straight into her, but he didn't seem to pay it any real mind. He lightly snapped the band of her underwear against her skin before moving his hand away and she shivered a bit. It went back to her thigh, rubbing the top of it. She had her legs tucked off to the side and she felt his fingers gently brush across where they held together. She gave a small shake of her head and he backed off, going back to simply rubbing the top of her thigh. She wasn't quite ready to let him in that close to her yet and was glad he had asked. He went back to the outside of her thigh, lightly rubbing where the side of her underwear ran over her hip. Again, he lightly snapped them just enough for her to feel it. He really was enjoying this teasing; she could tell. For a while, he simply continued to run his hands over her body, teasing, probing, and slowly getting her more wound up. She could definitely feel the effect it was having on her and she had practically melted into a puddle of goo in his hands. Her breaths were a little bit shallower than when they'd started, the effects of the teasing apparent. She wasn't sure how much time had elapsed since they'd started, but she could definitely see a noticeable change in the sun's position from when she'd last really paid any attention to it. She felt his fingertips brush across her legs again where they met and she hesitated for the slightest moment before starting to open them. His hand slid inside and started to rub the inside of her thigh, earning more shivers from her. That was incredibly sensitive. She had known it was from the odd occasion she'd gotten hit there during a sparring session, but she hadn't thought about how that would translate into sexuality. She closed her eyes again, going basically completely limp against him. She heard him let out another amused noise and he kissed the back of her neck again. "Really feeling it now, hm?" "You're being mean..." she muttered, though there was no real heat behind it. She could tell he was really enjoying himself, but she had said he could explore. She hadn't quite expected this when he'd said that but she wasn't opposed to what he was doing. It was doing exactly what it needed to. She was getting wound up and making sure her body was more than receptive to him. He really knew what he was doing with this sensitivity magic... There was something there in the back of her mind, but a slight haze from the pleasure was blocking off whatever realisation she'd had. She was still thinking, but she was much more focused on the pleasure than anything else at this point. He just gave an amused chuckle and turned her head to the side, shifting his grip on her so he could kiss her. She returned the gesture as best she could with the awkward angle, completely receptive to what he was doing. He pulled back and returned her to the position she'd been in previously and gave both of her breasts a firm squeeze. She shuddered, a soft noise escaping her throat. Damn it, that probably had way more pleasure behind it than it normally would, but she didn't have any baseline to compare it with. She hadn't exactly messed with that when she'd been masturbating... His hand slowly traced back to the inside of her thigh, rubbing teasingly for a moment before he went to the back of her knee. Oh, oh that was also apparently pretty sensitive. His other hand gave her breasts another squeeze and she let out another noise. Damn it, he really was having fun with this. It didn't hurt; it just sent a jolt of pleasure through her entire body. It felt like she had really rubbed her clit pretty well whenever he did. He continued to rub the back of her knee and she shivered, her breaths shallowing a little bit more. That didn't feel as good as the other stuff, but it definitely did feel quite nice. She was already fairly limp against him, but, somehow, she managed to get more lip. He really did know what he was doing. She was complete goo in his hands at this point. His hand went back to her abdomen and lightly rubbed above the band of her underwear. "Are you okay with me touching you?" His breath ghosted over her ear and she nodded. She did take in a breath and let it out. After he felt her do that, his hand slipped under the cloth. His fingers ever so gently brushed over the sensitive skin and she shivered. She had never had anybody else touch her like this before, so it felt very strange. But he'd helped show her he wasn't going to abuse her trust even with her complete goo in his hands. She didn't think that he would, but her mind still held anxiety that he would do something to betray her trust with how she'd built things up in her head. One of his fingers lightly brushed over her clit and she jerked. "Ah!" It felt like lightning going through her body. The sensitivity was really increasing even this. Too much of that and she would definitely climax. He kissed behind her ear and she felt him smile. "Mean..." she whined. He was enjoying this perhaps too much. He really was having fun watching her squirm under his hand. But she wasn't against it. She just hadn't expected things to be this intense with the sensitivity magic. He had dialed it in exactly perfectly to drive her crazy without being enough to overwhelm her. Her breaths had jumped to be much shorter and shallower after that bit of stimulation. Her chest heaved a little bit. She really hadn't expected it to take this much out of her. He started to gently rub against her entrance teasingly, making her shiver like crazy. The stimulation was definitely getting to be a bit much. He was being incredibly mean to her, but she wasn't going to stop him. He shifted his focus to the crook of her neck, lightly sucking and licking against it which only made her shudder further. He then shifted his attention upward a bit, focusing on her clit and her whole body shuddered again. "A-Ah..." Too much of that and she would definitely be pushed over. "Go ahead... There's nothing wrong with it." He continued to rub, lightning striking through her body with each stroke. It didn't take long for her whole body to be racked and her back arched from against him, a loud moan escaping her throat. The sensation was practically blinding with how intense it was and she spasmed, her eyes shutting tightly. She felt him let up and pull his hand out of her underwear, arms wrapping around her waist. It took her several minutes to regain her senses and she looked up at him, incredibly dazed. "That..." Her breathing was a little erratic. And she had thought the previous day had felt good. It made it feel like dying embers comparatively. She rested against him, her gaze a bit unfocused as she tried to come back to everything fully. He shifted her so her head rested against his shoulder and he kissed her softly. She felt something wash over her as he said a few words. "There... The sensitivity is off for now. If you want it again, let me know." He smiled at her, an expression so soft she hadn't seen it from him before. He kissed her again, soft and sweet this time. "I've been wanting to do that to you for a very long time." She reached up and nuzzled their noses together, a faint flush on her face. But she nodded and pulled him down to bump their foreheads together. "I'll bet... But man... You really do know what you're doing..." Her head was still hazy from the intense high but there was definitely something in there about how he knew just how to dial in the sensitivity. She'd revisit it later. But at least they knew she was pretty well prepared for him now... Not that she wanted to jump straight to that. She still wanted to let him have his fun. She was still a bit nervous about that too… "Well...I've had a lot of practice with that particular magic and those areas." Then it clicked for her. The overlap between torture and sex magic. He had probably used the sensitivity magic innumerable times in order to make things feel even worse for his victims... She hoped that he had used it on Count Varley. That man deserved all the pain he could experience for what he'd done to Bernie... "Ah, I see now... I thought I had realised something but I couldn't quite place it." She saw him flinch a little but she pulled him down for a kiss. "Hubert, I've made peace with the sorts of things you do. You don't have to worry about me judging you for it." She had learned what he did a long time ago. He killed and tortured people. That was part of what House Vestra did for House Hresvelg. She had been uncomfortable with it for a while, but by this point, she was used to it. She asked him to take care of people on occasion for her. She kept it minimal, but she had really made peace with it ages ago. "All right." He kissed her forehead and she smiled, leaning into the gesture. "Still... I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I know the body, but I'm inexperienced with this so..." She shook her head. "You had that magic dialed in just the right amount. Enough to make me feel it but not enough to make me go entirely crazy. I'm sure you could do the latter at some point though...and you'd probably enjoy it." She smiled up at him and saw him flush a bit again. So he really was enjoying teasing her. Honestly, it was fine. She had enjoyed what he'd done to her even if, in the grand scope of things, it'd been surprisingly minimal. But the magic had worked its effects and done its job well. "We can probably experiment with that more in the future..." "I can also teach you a lot of these spells... If we have a few more weeks of magic study, I'm sure you can learn them quickly. You're a quick study for many things. Though...I do know some rather mean spells too." She wondered what they were but it was probably best to wait... They didn't need to get into everything all at once. "But for now... I think I'll just stick to teasing you like this." He kissed her again and she rested a hand on his cheek, returning the gesture. Once he pulled back, he smiled at her and kissed her forehead again. She was completely at ease with him despite how anxious she'd been at the beginning. He'd been so incredibly gentle with her and double checking to make sure she was okay with certain movements had really helped put her mind at ease. "By the way...thanks for checking with me before doing some things." Namely backing off when she'd conveyed she wasn't quite ready for him to touch closer to her core yet. "I only want to see you happy and comfortable, not break you." He ran his free hand down the side of her face and touched their noses together. "You have every right to say no to something if it makes you uncomfortable. Like I keep saying, I don't want to hurt you. If I can avoid it at any cost, I will." "Your loyalty means the world to me." She bumped their foreheads together. It really did. She could have easily learned to take his presence and actions for granted, but she was always aware of what he did for her. If he ran errands for her or anything of the like, she was always thankful even if she didn't always say it. He deserved the thanks she gave him frequently. He could have refused her, but no, he did everything for her. She really was glad to have him in her life. And this really only put into sharp relief why she valued him so much. He was so patient, calm, and gentle with her when she needed it. And he always listened to her. He might sometimes go behind her back and do things she didn't like, but he always did what did for her sake. "It's the right thing for me to do." He smiled at her and nuzzled their noses together. She wished she could thank him more, but words didn't convey what she wanted to show him. "Next time we do this, I'll be the one in charge and show you what you mean to me." She kissed him again. She would let him have his time this round, but when they did it again, she would be the one showing him what she felt for him. There was no love, but...she could still show her appreciation and the warmth she had for him. Sex didn't necessarily need to be all about romance. It could just be a way to show someone how one felt, platonic or otherwise… He blinked but gave an amused smile. "If that's what you want to do, then we can. I won't stop you. For now, though, you're mine." There was a sense of possessiveness there, but it one she wasn't opposed to. It wasn't like he was trying to isolate and abuse her. She could just tell he was finally getting to show and feel emotions he'd pressed down in his own mind and heart for most of his life. She couldn't imagine how that had to feel... To finally be able to let those emotions out in a way without real restraint. He tilted her head back a little bit and placed a soft kiss on her throat, then trailed up to her ear. Without the magic, it wasn't anywhere near as sensitive, but it didn't feel bad either. She pulled her hair back behind her fully so he could get at it and he just placed a kiss on her ear instead. "Are you feeling up to moving on at all?" With as close as he was, his voice was incredibly quiet and his breath tickled her ear. "I'd be fine with that." Her breathing had settled as had her body, so she was pretty relaxed and ready for more. "Would you be fine with me using the magic again, though to a lesser extent? I want this to be as positive for you as possible. I just don't want it to be overwhelming for you which it clearly was when I was rubbing you." She flushed at the observation. "It...was pretty intense. Not bad, just...incredibly intense. But yeah, you can go ahead and do that." She was glad he was paying such close attention to her needs... She could only imagine what would happen if she would've been paired with somebody that didn't give a damn about what she felt or what she wanted. That thought still scared her on a deep level, but when it came to this marriage, she didn't have to worry about that at all. "It felt like I was being struck by lightning each time you did that." He smiled a little abashed. "I hadn't meant to quite make it that intense... I didn't think about the side effects it would have in the most sensitive areas... I guess it'll take a little dialing in to get it to a consistent level. We might want to faff with it before I start... It'll teach me a lot." She nodded. "All right." Yeah, she didn't want to be completely overwhelmed by it. "Is there anything else you wanted to do?" "Would you mind if I penetrated just with my fingers? If you're still tight down there...I know spells to help loosen that up a bit too." She had felt a little tight with two fingers yesterday... So she nodded. She didn't want this to hurt if at all possible. It might despite their best efforts since it was their first time together. But if they could minimise the pain, she was willing to do whatever it took. She had seen sex magic mentioned in passing in her books, but none of them had really given her what all it could do in depth. Then again, it was probably an entire branch of magic on its own that could be studied for a fair bit of time... Plus, it seemed like it was limited only by the imagination to some degree… He kissed her again. "All right then. And I also know spells to help...clean up afterward." That made her flush a bit but she nodded. Yeah that would definitely be good since she had read it can get...messy with all of the bodily fluids. Again, she hadn't known what all spells were in sexual magic since they weren't any sort of major focus in the couple of books she'd read. But she would probably want to read up after they did this so she could hopefully learn the spells in due time. He kissed her forehead and she got off his lap, settling against the pillows. She removed her underwear which were fairly wet after the sheer intensity of the climax she'd had not that long ago. She still felt a bit self-conscious about all of this, but it was probably just her inexperience speaking here. She was doing nothing wrong or improper... She was married to Hubert and Adrestia really didn't care what couples did as long as children weren't born out of wedlock, especially for an Empress.   She could feel a little bit of anxiety creeping up in her chest again, but she ignored it, not wanting to stop. She was enjoying herself. It was probably just first-time jitters more than anything. There was nothing in her telling her to stop. She didn't feel danger or anything of the like, especially not with Hubert. He made her feel safe in a way nobody else really could... Well, except maybe Dimitri, but the ship had sailed a long time ago. There was no chance of that happening...   She splayed her legs out and Hubert gently ran a hand over the inside of her knee. "Are you feeling all right?"   "A little nervous but not enough to want to stop. I feel safe with you, Hubert. I know you're not going to hurt me." If it had felt overwhelming, then she would definitely stop, but it didn't. A little jittery, but she was having fun. She knew she could revoke her consent at any point and they would stop. But she really didn't want to stop... This was a lot nicer than she had anticipated.   Hubert nodded and gently ran his fingers over her lit and she felt the warmth focus around the area which signaled the increase in sensitivity. They did have to faff about for a little bit to find a good, happy medium where she didn't feel overwhelmed by the sensitivity but it still felt nice enough. Considering how quickly Hubert learned, though, this was probably the only time they'd need to do that. He would no doubt remember the level for future sessions if they decided to make use of the magic. She kinda did like it though... It really did make everything feel better. It was making this an overall very positive experience which she was glad for. She had been so afraid not even a day or so ago... Now she was loving practically every moment of it.   He started to gently rub up and down her slit again, making her shiver from the tingles of pleasure going through her body. Honestly, if he kept this up enough, she would probably be able to climax from this alone. She wasn't sure of her natural sensitivity level since she hadn't done too much by herself, but this was definitely beyond what little bit she had felt while rubbing herself. It was so heightened from what little bit she had done.   She felt him gently part her lower lips and gently lick from the bottom up and she shivered, letting out a low noise. He looked up at her and she smiled. "It's fine. Just different." A very strange feeling to have a tongue down there, but she was  fine with it. And the increased sensitivity was helping her feel good too. She was a very quiet person normally, but with the heightened sensitivity from the magic, she was probably being a bit more vocal than she would have been otherwise.   He nodded and returned to his task, taking long, slow licks of her slit. She settled back and tried to relax as much as she could. She kept shivering each time he reached the top, though, really able to feel the bits of pleasure from her clit being stroked ever so gently by his tongue. She...was not against this. It was just adjusting to the feeling that was the weird part. But then again, it wasn't like she had done this before or anything... So far, none of it was bad in her mind. Different and strange, but not bad.   He continued to do that for a short while, earning more soft noises from her as well as shivers. Eventually, though, he lightly rubbed one finger against her entrance and looked up at her. She nodded and he prodded softly before letting it enter her. "H-Hah..." With the increased sensitivity, that felt even better than when she'd done it by herself. But thanks to Hubert's earlier efforts, she could tell she definitely didn't feel anywhere near as tight as she had been the previous day before. Her body was definitely making itself more than ready for him when they reached the full act, but it was still best to keep this up in her mind... The more she got ready, the better.   hHe gently and slowly pushed his finger all the way inside her and she did feel her back arch just a bit from the pleasure. He let out an amused chuckle and looked up at her. "Feel good then?"   "Y-Yeah..." Damn it, she really hadn't known it would feel this good. It was impressive... Juliane had said before that it could be a wonderful thing, but she hadn't believed her... Now she saw what the woman was talking about. This felt good beyond words. She could definitely see this becoming a regular part of their lives even if there was no romance or true passion behind it on her side... People did do this just for the sake of the pleasure. There was a reason brothels existed. She just...hadn't given it much thought but now she saw why people did use them. She knew there were even high-class courtesans in the court for noble men especially if their wives hated them. And women too... Love and lust really knew no bounds in Adrestia's decadent court.   She inhaled a little bit as he started to move his lips up and down her lower lips. Oh, oh, that felt pretty nice too. He hadn't moved his finger yet, but she was waiting. He was clearly enjoying teasing her again. He was getting way too much pleasure out of that... Still, she shivered under his ministrations while he occasionally added a lick along their length, not really going for the main area. He kept his focus on the sides for a little while, her breathing growing a bit shallower as he did so. She could practically feel him smiling from how he was teasing her. "M-Mean..." she muttered, only to earn another amused chuckle from him.   For once, he didn't have a witty comeback and his only response was to gently lick her clit which sent another tingle of pleasure through her whole body. "A-Ah..." Damn it, yeah, he was having way too much fun with this. He did start to gently lap at her clit which made her breathing shallow further and he finally started to move his finger in her. It caused her whole body to shudder from the sudden almost excess of stimulation. Her hips bucked a tad and she felt her face flush.   "Now now, I'll set the pace for this, okay, my lady?" He was enjoying tormenting her. In this case, hee was using her usual formality to simply add fuel to the fire. She knew he cared but he was still having his fun too.   Once again, she felt herself melting into a pile of goo from his attentions. Hier breaths were a bit short and shallow and she closed her eyes, but she was still more than aware of what he was doing. He lapped at her clit and thrust into her with his finger at a moderate pace, making her entire body vibrate from the sheer pleasure. Damn it, this really did feel amazing... She could see how and why people got so damn wrapped up and hung on sex. She could see why women (and men too) made it a profession. She really could see them doing this just for the sheer pleasure of it.   However, she opened her eyes when she felt him prodding another finger and they made eye contact. She nodded, a little breathless at this point. He stopped thrusting and started to slowly work his second finger in alongside the first one. She did feel some discomfort despite everything. "How are you?" His voice reached her ears and she let out a breath. This time he was being serious, so she needed to answer.   "A little bit of that loosening magic is probably a good idea..." It would definitely hurt if he penetrated her with his member... That wasn't something either of them wanted, so she felt like it was a good idea to use his magic. She felt his fingers wiggle around in her which still made her shudder despite the slight bit of discomfort, but it did slowly start to not be uncomfortable. When he moved one finger up and away from the other one, she inhaled sharply. "Ah!" Her whole body shuddered again, her breath quickening a fair amount. "O-Okay... I think that'll work..." She could feel herself stretching but not in an uncomfortable way. She could definitely accommodate what he was doing to her.   "All right then." He placed a kiss on her clit before starting to lap at it. She shivered as he did so, then he started thrusting into her. Except, this time, it wasn't almost fully in and out; it was quick, short thrusts that still stayed mostly within her. Her breath stuttered as the pleasure pinged around her mind and body, almost unable to think about anything else. He was assaulting her with every intent of trying to get her to climax as quickly as possible.   The pleasure built in her quickly, her breaths shortening even further. It stuttered when she felt him separate his fingers again for a moment. D-Damn it! He was trying to milk everything possible out for her. He continued the short, quick thrusts, the pleasure building incredibly quickly. With his assault so thorough, it didn't take long for her back to arch and her body to spasm. She cried out softly as pure pleasure washed over her again, her brain completely whiting out for a few moments.   She fell back against the bed, practically panting as she felt him pull his fingers out of her. She was vaguely aware of the sensation of a few spells being cast on her as well as himself before he slid up to lay next to her, wrapping his arms around her. He ran a hand through her hair, obviously just trying to comfort her while she came down from the intense high. She nuzzled into his chest, her breathing still extremely taxed and furious. "Think we'll be doing that again?" he asked quietly. All she could manage to do was nod, not really able to speak between her extremely quick, labored breaths. So she closed her eyes and let herself rest against him, waiting for her breathing to even out.   While they waited, he petted her head and ran his fingers through her hair. He also whispered sweet nothings about how much he loved her which made her heart swell. She felt bad she couldn't return his romantic feelings toward her, but she did care about him immensely. She was glad that he cared about her so deeply... It made things so much easier. To know she was loved in such a way by somebody... She hadn't thought it was possible with how broken she was. Especially with her memory issues... In due time, she wouldn't even remember this event... Most things didn't stick around for too long in her memory. It saddened her greatly to know she wouldn't remember the most joyous moments of her life in general...   After she had regained her breathing, she leaned up and kissed him with a fair bit of heat behind it. "I really do hope I can return your feelings one day, Hubert... You're a wonderful man." Yes he committed heinous acts in her name, but she could see beyond the scary mask. He had a good, kind heart despite everything. She knew it was pretty much reserved for only her which made her feel so extremely privileged. He was loyal to her and would be loyal to only her. She really did hope she could reciprocate someday... This made her feel so special and cared for in a way she never had before. She'd thought of herself as unlovable for so long so to have somebody actually care for her like this...   He cupped her cheek and kissed her in return. "I do too...but I'll never force you to try. I really don't mean to try to sway you when I say those sorts of things... I hope you can forgi--" She cut it off with another slightly heated kiss, then parted with their lips almost touching.   "You're not doing anything wrong. I want you to express yourself. I won't forgive you because you've done literally nothing wrong." Her voice was incredibly quiet, quieter than even her normal volume. He nodded a bit and rested their foreheads together.   "All right." He kissed her again and placed a decent amount of heat behind it, one arm tucking into the small of her back while the other lightly skimmed her jaw and face. He pulled back after a moment, kissing her jaw, then her ear before finally her nose. "I love you with my whole heart and nothing will ever change that," he whispered. She nodded and rested their foreheads together. She wished she could say the same, but she obviously couldn't. Still... She cared about him deeply and nothing could change that. He had been in her life for so long and she hoped to never take him for granted. Even if she didn't always verbalize her thanks to him, she was always thankful whenever he did anything for her.     "Even if I don't love you in return...I still care about you immensely." She wrapped her arms around his neck while he pulled her close by her waist. "I'll never not care about you, Hubert... You've done so much for me that I can't even begin to thank you for it. Next time...I'll show you exactly what you mean to me." Whether it was later that day, tomorrow, or later in the week, she would show him how much she did care about him. He wasn't the only one that cared about her deeply. She wanted him to feel comfortable expressing his love for her even if she didn't reciprocate.   "You don't need to do anything for me. I do it simply because it's the right thing to do." He kissed her chin. She disagreed. He had shown her so much care throughout the years that she wanted to reciprocate at least that care. Maybe not the love, but the deep care and warmth she felt for him. Her life would be so much worse off without him. If not for him, she would've  been married to somebody she might have never met before or shared any emotional connection with. It might've been an unhappy marriage that left her more traumatized than before... She really was glad he had agreed... She would be in such a bad place without him.   "I still want to show you what you mean to me..." She rested their foreheads together. She really did... He meant the world to her. Her life would be such a horrible thing without him and his support. SHe was so glad he hadn't gone to one of her other siblings to be their vassal...   "If that is what you want, then you can." He tilted her head up and kissed her neck again. She tilted her head back and to the side a bit and he assaulted the same spot with soft, gentle kisses. She smiled, able to fully feel his sentiment towards her. She honestly wouldn't trade almost anything for this... Part of her still wished she could've had Dimitri, but...this wasn't a terrible setup. Hubert genuinely cared for her and she genuinely cared for him... That was something she wasn't sure she would've gotten in an arranged marriage. She was so glad that she had him in her life.   "I will next time. But for now...you can show your love for me." She smiled softly at him while he continued assaulting her neck with gentle kisses. Eventually, he did stop and looked up at her, then pulled her into another kiss, soft but lingering until they had to pull back for breath.   One of his hands still held her by the small of the back, but the other rested on her hip. "Do you think you're ready to move on?" She rested her forehead against his and kissed him again, another lingering kiss. She felt his lips tense as he swallowed then pulled back. "If you do want to stop, you--"    "Hubert." She cut him off gently but firmly. "Am I nervous? Yes. But I think that's understandable. I don't want to stop. You've done nothing to make me want to. You've been mean with the teasing, sure, but that was just you having fun. You've been gentle and calm with me every step of the way. I'm fine." She really didn't want to stop. Yes, she was a bit nervous about going all the way, but that was probably natural. It wasn't like they had just jumped into it without getting her ready to the best of their ability. He'd used his magic to make sure she was incredibly receptive to him. She was more than ready.   She saw him swallow again and he nodded. "All right." He let her go and she rolled back onto the pillows so she was on her back. She definitely did feel a spike of anxiety in her chest again, but she didn't want to stop. She was fully aware of what this would entail. Still... It was her first time, so she hoped it was fine.. From the sound of it, Augusta had been nervous too... So it was hopefully a pretty general experience for women... Hubert was obviously nervous too, but he probably just didn't want to hurt her... They had done a lot to prepare her for this.   She saw him sit up and toss his clothes to the side and she flushed hotly when she saw his erection. She did see him bashfully rub the back of his neck, his own cheeks flushed. He positioned himself over her and gently rubbed the tip against her entrance, making her shiver. It was another strange sensation but not bad. She was still a bit nervous that she wouldn't be able to take him but... They really had done everything they could. She reached up and rested a hand on his cheek, offering him a smile. "It's all right; go ahead." Her stomach fluttered and rolled a bit from the anxiety, but she didn't want to stop.   He nodded and gently pressed into her. She shivered a bit as she felt stretched and there was some discomfort, but not as bad as some of the horror stories that she'd heard in court. He looked at her and she caressed his cheek, trying to convey that she was as okay as she could be. He very slowly worked his way inside her, eventually sheathing fully. Her eyes were closed at the slight bit of discomfort, but it wasn't as bad had they not used the bit of magic. She did open her eyes and kissed him softly. "It's okay. There is some discomfort, but it's not too bad."   "Sorry... I did what I could. I thought I had--" She cut him off with another kiss.   "Hubert, you're rambling. It's fine. I'm fine." She rested their foreheads together, stroking his cheek. It felt so strange to be on the giving end of affection and reassurance. He was usually the one reassuring her and making sure she was okay. "Just...give me a bit to get used to it. That's all I need." It felt so strange to have something in her body like this... She knew it was natural and her body was built for it, but it was still  such a strange sensation. It didn't feel bad, though... She just needed a bit of time to adjust to it.   "All right. Tell me when you're ready for me to move." He ran his hand down the side of her face, keeping their noses together. Their lips almost brushed against each other again but he didn't go for it. He offered gentle affection, kissing her nose, her forehead, her ear, and her neck. Thankfully, that was helping take her mind off the bit of discomfort and she smiled, a bit more relaxed now that she wasn't focused solely on that.   After a bit, she kissed him softly, a bit lingering. "Okay... I think I'm ready." She took in a breath then let it out. He nodded and kissed her throat again before adjusting his position a bit. He started to withdraw from her and she shivered at the sensation. It both felt similar to yet nothing like the fingers. It was so much thicker and more substantial than the fingers. But it wasn't bad. It...did feel pretty good in its own way. But there was no magic increasing the sensations this time so it honestly felt a little bit dull in comparison. But she wasn't against it... She had fully agreed to this knowing full well what would happen. "You can feel free to set the pace. Just start a bit slow." She still did need to fully adjust to this, but he nodded.   He started to move in and out of her at a slow but steady pace, his brow creased with concentration but concern still in his eyes. She ran a hand over his face, trying to reassure him she was fine. She nodded a bit and continued the slow, steady pace. Thankfully, her body had been incredibly well prepared for this so what little bit of discomfort there had been was gone by this point. They had done everything they could and she definitely was not traumatised by any of it.   Eventually, he started to pick up the pace a bit and she shivered. Even though it felt a bit dull in comparison to the magic, it didn't feel bad in the slightest. Quite the opposite. Her breathing was shallowing a little bit in response and she leaned up to kiss him again, a bit of heat into it. It did make his pace stutter for a moment, but he took it at its meaning. He picked up a bit, becoming more insistent. She shivered and shook, the pleasure building in her again. Yeah, this didn't feel bad at all... She could definitely see why people enjoyed doing this... She felt legitimately bad for the people that had only had bad experiences.   In due time, his pace became incredibly insistent, both of their breaths short, shallow, and mingling from the physical exertion. Damn it, this really did feel good... She would not be against doing this more on the regular just for the sake of it... She really did see why people could do this for a living. It felt incredibly good... She couldn't believe she'd doubted Juliane on the matter... It was incredible and she wasn't against it.   Eventually, she felt him start to tense and he changed the pace from the long thrust to short, deep ones which changed her breaths from breaths to almost gasps. What... What was he doing? It didn't feel bad but, damn... It--   The next thing she knew, she felt him filling her up  and he grunted, stopping altogether a moment later. She shivered at the incredibly strange sensation. Oh, that was what that felt like. She wasn't entirely sure if she liked it or not. But she did feel him slip out of her and he rested a hand on her lower abdomen, the sensation vanishing. So that was what he meant by clean up.   He laid down next to her, his breath still labored. Her own was fairly labored as well and she nuzzled next to him, wrapping his arms around his neck. He wrapped his around her waist. They laid there for a little while, simply trying to regain their breaths. But, in due time, they both calmed down and he placed a soft kiss on her lips. She smiled at him. "Feel good?" she asked him, using his own question against him.   He smiled a bit bashfully and nodded. "Yes... I've wanted to do this with you for a very long time... It felt good to do it." He kissed her lightly again, then her neck, before returning to rest their foreheads together. "There's nobody else I'd want to do this with... Though if you had ever ordered me to marry somebody and have children with them...I would."   She shook her head. "I never would've done anything like that and you know it. This...really wasn't as bad as I'd feared it would be. You were so sweet and gentle every step of the way. Well. You were a bit mean with the teasing, but that's my only complaint." She smiled at him, obviously not against what he'd done. It had felt good and it had helped her get ready for everything. "I...really wouldn't mind doing this on the regular if you aren't against it..."   "I see no reason to be. There might not be love on your end but...there is affection. And you can still channel that into feelings." He smiled softly and kissed her again. "Just let me know whenever you want to do it. I doubt I'll say no."   She nuzzled their noses together. "I really don't doubt you will... But, for now, let's just stay together like this for a little while." She closed her eyes and tucked against his chest, her head under his chin.   "All right. That sounds good." He tugged the top sheet over them and they settled in to relax for a little while.