Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Hubert made his way to Augusta's room and took in a breath before knocking on the door. He normally wasn't one to feel so anxious but...he wasn't sure how to handle any of this. He really wasn't. Thankfully, the woman answered a moment later and looked up, her eyebrows arched. "Good morning, Hubert. Where's El...?" "Down at the training grounds. I was wondering if I could speak to you...privately." He knew this was unusual. In a case like this, he would normally go to his mother, but...she wouldn't have any insight into what to do. She had been in a monogamous marriage, not a polyamorous one. She had only had one husband, not been a husband to a man with multiple wives. He wished he could've asked Ionius but the man had died shortly after Edelgard had ascended the throne. He had nobody else to talk to but the consorts. He felt most comfortable with Juliane but considering her distance...he couldn't exactly go talk to her. And he wasn't about to leave Edelgard when they were supposed to be focusing on their relationship. "Yes, of course. Please, come in." She moved to the side and let him in, then offered him the desk chair. She took a secondary chair near him and tilted her head. "This is highly unusual. You're not really the type to ask for counsel, but considering everything, I won't say no to helping you especially if it'll help El." He sighed and rested his elbows on his knees, hands threaded together. He told her the situation about his love for Edelgard and her desire to take consorts despite everything. He frowned afterward. "I told her I wouldn't stand in the way of it. In fact, I had planned for this to happen just in case she decided to use the system. But...I don't think I'm the type of person that wants to have other partners or people involved. Yet she's clearly the type to have a lot of love in her heart...love that can probably be shared with more than one partner. Do you have any insight on how to handle this?" Emotions were not his strong point. He usually sufficed by stuffing everything down. But he didn't want to end up hurting Edelgard. He would stand by what he said especially since he could see how having consorts would benefit her. She wasn't enthused about having children, so having at least one other woman that could have them... It would lighten her load immensely. "Honestly, I don't really have much advice, Hubert... There were already other women when I came in. I knew I would be sharing Ionius with Juliane and the others. If you should talk to anybody, it should be Juliane since she was the first of us. But if you still want my insight... It's by no means a perfect system. There can and probably will be fights among the consorts and possibly between even you and the consorts. Tempers flare. Everyone has their own idea on how to handle things. Juliane was the type to advocate for all of us being involved with each other somehow. I know she and Katinka had a romantic relationship with Ionius' blessing. Some of the consorts may be more like Helga and Anselma where they don't want us as involved with each other. They want a more exclusive relationship with just the one bringing them in. Boundaries will be a huge thing as will be communication. And dynamics can change over time. The more people there are, the more complex it'll get. And you will be hurt; it's just an inevitability. It all really just depends on what El wants to get out of the system." He sighed. That...wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. "I suppose I'll have to write Her Eminence then." He really had hoped she'd be able to offer more insight into how to handle things. He would have to talk to Edelgard more about it, probably over lunch. He wasn't sure if she'd be seeking romance or simply children. As former Minister of the Imperial Household, he did know that plenty of Emperors and Empresses had taken on consorts simply for the purpose of bearing children with them. If that was all she wanted, then that would make things easier. But if she was seeking romance...that would make it much, much harder on him. He wouldn't stand in her way if she was, of course, but he really didn't feel like the type that wanted to share with others. He would just have to talk with her more. "Well... Thank you anyway." Augusta offered him a sad smile. "I'm really sorry I couldn't offer more to you. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to become one of Ionius' partners. I knew I'd have to share with Juliane and the others. I was under no illusion that I'd have an exclusive relationship with him. You'll just have to talk with El more in depth and see what she wants out of it and see if you two can come to any compromises. But if you're strictly monogamous while she isn't... That's setting yourself up for some level of heartbreak." He was quite aware of that unfortunately. And he couldn't guarantee she'd ever reciprocate his feelings... This really was just a disaster but he would be loyal to her until he drew his breath, no matter what that entailed. "I'll talk with her over lunch then." This had proved less fruitful than he'd hoped. He was officially Emperor and she was Empress, but that didn't mean they were in love. He might just end up the father to her child or children... There was at least legitimate care and warmth for each other there though... And she might see it become more. She couldn't guarantee anything, but it did offer him some hope. Maybe she'd fall in love with him... Of course, he couldn't force it either and he wouldn't attempt to. He'd just continue doing what he was. She was definitely open to his affections, though, so that did make him hopeful. He stood up and bowed, excusing himself from her room before heading outside to check the skies. They looked relatively clear, so he hoped they'd be able to go on that walk with her. Maybe if things worked out that way, then they could talk away from the manor... ☆ Edelgard saw Hubert return to the indoor training grounds a little while later but she didn't pay him too much heed as she ran through her drills. She had slipped so far that she couldn't handle advanced sets anymore. It was incredibly infuriating. She wanted nothing more than to wallop somebody and make them yield to her in a spar. But she knew that would never happen with the current skill level she had. It was so incredibly frustrating she'd let her training slip so far. She at least had all the time in the world here to practice. After a while, though, she felt her breathing start to get to an unmanageable level and she walked over to Hubert and sat next to him, resting her head on his arm. "So...how do...the skies look?" She was breathing heavily from the intensity at which she'd gone. She wasn't going to sit back and allow herself to be overtaken. She would get back to her previous skill level. She would get more intense with the spars once Hubert said he felt ready for them. "They're fairly clear, so I think we're good to go on that walk you want. Would you like to rest for a bit first though? Perhaps we can go back up to our room and play a little bit of mancala?" He seemed...surprisingly okay though she was pretty sure he was pressing everything down. Emotions had never really been his strong point. she wanted him to express himself around her more, but she could only expect so much unfortunately… "All right." She could feel herself dripping with sweat from the intense drills. But she stood up and followed him back to their room, feeling her breathing return to its normal pace. Still, she had worn herself out a little bit, so the breather would be good. As they played, she could definitely tell he was still feeling the effects of their earlier talk. His plays were kind of sloppy and she could take advantage of his weaknesses. It felt...strange to be the one outdoing Hubert in a genuine way. He had been lowering his play standards for her so she could build confidence. But here... He was being sloppy (at least by Hubert standards) and she could see the flaws in his plays. After a few matches, she had recovered fairly well. "Okay, I think I 'm recovered enough to go on a walk." Her muscles were going to be incredibly tight and sore from the drills for the next few days, but she had accepted that. She was running them at such intensity which her body wasn't used to anymore. But she didn't want to stop being active just because she was a bit sore. "Very well." He sat the game board to the side and stood, offering his arm to her. She wrapped her arms around it and rested her head against his shoulder. "Would you like to go back to the lake or would you like to head out in another direction?" Good question. "We shouldn't go too far most likely, but maybe another direction would be good." They headed out of the back entrance of the manor and started walking, her head still rested against his shoulder. "Hubert...are you sure there's nothing I can do to help you?" They were far away enough that she felt comfortable having the conversation with him. She didn't want anybody overhearing them since someone might try to take advantage of Hubert's diminished emotional state. "Actually...I was hoping to talk to you about that. Could we wait until we settle down?" "Okay." What more could there be to say? But if he had something he wanted to say, then she'd accept it. With that, they fell silent and walked, though the silence was heavier than normal between them. She was so used to them having comfortable silences. This...felt really bad. She wasn't trying to hurt him, but she knew she was. She hoped she could alleviate some of his negativity whenever they stopped to talk. After a while, they reached a small pond in the middle of a small grove of trees. He sat at the base of the tree and pulled her down into his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "So what did you want to talk about...?" Her voice was a little tentative. She didn't want to hurt him any further than she already had. She wasn't trying to toss his feelings for her back in his face; she was open and receptive toward them. She was open to things turning to romance if they went that way. She just...couldn't guarantee it. She felt bad, but the heart was a fickle thing. She felt him take in a breath then let it out slowly before speaking. "Well... What exactly do you want to get out of the consort system? Do you only want people that will help give birth to children, do you want romance, or do you want both?" She was a bit surprised by the questions but...they were good things to consider. She knew Hubert had said he wouldn't stand in her way regardless of what her choices were, but she still felt so bad for hurting him. She wished they could've had more time to discuss things like this, but she had to make a choice quickly. They had only given her a month to choose before they arranged her to somebody. "For the most part, at the moment...I just want help with childbirth. I don't want to be pregnant for upwards of a decade of my life. Even the three or four children I would max out at sounds like...a lot. I don't want to be pregnant for that long." She looked down and tucked against Hubert. "But...I at least want to make sure the person or people I bring in click with me. I want to be sure we'll at least be friends. I don't want the children to be stuck in a toxic situation where both of their mothers hate each other or are neutral at very best." She would probably never be able to recreate the situation she'd been in. There had been love between her father and all of his consorts. She knew that much. Even if things were strictly platonic, it would take a lot of work and she was aware of that. "I'm not against romance happening naturally. But my main worry is making sure the kids grow up in a happy environment where they feel loved and supported." She felt him nod a bit. "That...makes things quite a bit easier. I think I know three women from more minor noble families that would click well with you but still be willing to bear children. I included them on the list of women to contact for my mother. But, again...I will not stand in the way of your heart should you desire romance at any point." She could sense that a weight had lifted off his shoulders. She removed his arms from her waist and got on her knees, touching their foreheads together. One hand rested on his cheek. "I really am sorry this is so hard on you, Hubert. I'm not against having multiple lovers, but I would much rather have one person I'm loyal to for the entirety of my life. Even if it's not romantic, I would still rather prefer to be loyal to you for our entire lives. I'd still rather not use the consort system. But I need help with childbirth and raising children. Four is still considered incredibly small by Imperial standards..." And she still didn't want to have that many children herself if she were honest. She would really rather be monogamous. It was just what she felt suited her best, but she also wasn't against the idea of having multiple people to love... It was a strange pull and tug in two completely opposite directions. "Well, thank you for being honest with me. It...does make it a bit easier for me to handle this. I think I'm someone that's strictly monogamous but...as I said, I will not stand in your way if your heart leads you in another direction." He leaned up and kissed her, soft, sweet, and gentle. She really wished that she could return his feelings fully. She was open to it entirely, but things may not happen that way even if both of them wanted it... He was so good to her that she hoped it did happen. She returned the kiss, holding it out longer than he obviously would have. "I'll try to keep it strictly to having heirs but...you know how fickle the heart can be. I can't say I won't fall in love with somebody else. I can't say I'll even fall in love with you. But I am open to it because you're so, so good to me." She felt him rest his hands on her hips and he nodded. "I will never not be. Your happiness is always my prime concern." His voice was quiet, really just loud enough to reach her ears. She knew that. he didn't have to reinforce it, but it was nice to hear it sometimes... She really, really was glad that they had each other... He was going to make a fantastic Emperor when they returned to court in Enbarr... It was that statement that made something click in her mind and she smiled at him softly. She gently brushed his bangs out of his eye so she could look into both of his eyes. "Actually, with this, I think I might be okay to proceed with full-on intimacy. I don't think we need to keep going slow like we have been. Well. Maybe still take our time with things but...I think I'll be okay now, Hubert." He blinked, confusion and startle in his eyes. "What? How can you be so sure of that? I thought you were terrified." She flushed a little bit and kissed him softly. "Aside from me working myself up, something I've known for a long time is that I think I'd be okay to use sex to show somebody I'm close with that I do care about them. And since I know you love me... No, I don't reciprocate right now at least, but I do care about you, Hubert. I was thinking of this as purely a political marriage which was what scared me. But if I look at it through the other lens...I think I'll be okay. Again, we still don't want to rush to everything but...I think we we take it slow, I'll be fine." She had known that for years. Granted, Juliane had told her to be discerning if she ever had sex outside of marriage. Her mind had construed it and made her not want to do that unless she was at the very least engaged but...had her mind not done that, she probably would've had sex with people who were okay with it were she close to them. "I...didn't know that." "It's not like I was exactly going around talking about my views on sex with anybody." She had kept those mostly to herself since it wasn't a topic she was exactly comfortable with discussing. The Church didn't teach about it, but that one statement had kind of made her shy away from the entire topic. Plus, people weren't exactly forward about it in Fodlan sometimes. Adrestia had no real taboos as far as she was aware of. It was very open about sexuality. There were entire shops dedicated to books and toys and things of that nature. She was pretty aware of brothels. They were open and there was no law against them. Men could wear women's clothes without any sort of repercussions. She was aware of drag shows being a thing even if she'd never attended one.   "I suppose that is fair. Still... I...am a bit afraid I'll end up hurting you if we decide to proceed with anything major in the next few nights." His voice shook a little bit and she saw the concern in his eyes. It was still so strange to see him so vulnerable. She placed a soft kiss on his lips. "That's why I said we go slow. There might still be some anxiety lingering, but as long as we communicate at every step...I think I'll be fine to go the whole way. And if I'm not, if I need to stop, I'll tell you. I promise." She caressed his cheek and nuzzled their noses together. She actually felt his hands shaking a little bit as they rested on her hips. She wasn't trying to scare him. She was trying to be open and honest as best she could be. "Do you trust me to know myself and my limits, Hubert?" "I... Of course, my-- Edelgard. It's just...a lot to process to switch from one extreme to the other so suddenly. To go from being told we need to be slow and mindful to you saying you think you can go all the way... It really is a lot suddenly." That was entirely fair, she supposed. It had only just clicked with her that she had seen sex that way outside of a political marriage. And knowing that he'd be showing his love to her... Well, she was affectionate toward him even if she didn't reciprocate his emotions. She kind of hoped she would one day. Even if he'd committed heinous acts in his time, he was a good man deep down. She knew he was being genuine with her with all of this. She hadn't felt one forced thing with him outside of him shoving down all the feelings about the consorts… "And, again, I'm not saying that we have to rush into everything and jump on each other. We can still take our time and we probably should. Even though I'm more okay with it now...I'm still a bit nervous. I mean it's going to be my first time and I've heard the horror stories..." She has heard so many courtly ladies complain about how their husbands treated them badly when they needed to have children. The woman's body wasn't ready and it hurt like hell. With what she'd read, it might still hurt, but it shouldn't be as painful as they were saying it was. "That...sounds a lot more reasonable. And communication. Yes. We'll have to be clear and open with each other." She nodded. She had said that already, but hearing him say and agree with her was good. She would be open and honest and stop him if she wasn't ready for something. "And Hubert? That goes for you too. I know you'll be more focused on me, but it's a two-way street. If you aren't ready for something, I need you to speak up too." She knew that would probably be hard for him. He would be so focused on making her comfortable that he might forget about himself. She was pretty in tune with herself but she wasn't sure about him at all. She was understandably still nervous, but she could see the concern in his eyes. "I... Of course. You're right." She felt him let out a breath that he'd obviously been holding. This was a two-way street for both of them. If one of them was uncomfortable with something, they should stop. Whether it was her or him, it wasn't worth proceeding if they were too anxious or afraid. She really didn't want him to feel like he didn't have the room to speak up here. This was a sensitive thing and she wanted it to be as positive for both of them as it possibly could be. "I want this to be pleasant for both of us. I don't want either of us walking away from this traumatised or upset." She kissed him again, her tone gentle. She really didn't want this to end up badly. She felt like she could handle it now. It was strange that his confession would have such a profound effect on her. It had taken a little while for things to click, but once it had...she felt a lot better about approaching things more head on. He nodded and leaned up to kiss her again, his hands still on her hips. "I don't want you to end up traumatised either... Your safety in all regards is so very important to me... Mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual." She really was glad he was such a kind person. No, he didn't always show empathy toward others ro even sympathy, but when it came to her, he was always kind and gentle. He knew just how to handle her. She was glad. She had no doubts that he'd be able to help her approach things so she wouldn't end up traumatised or upset. "Though...when would you like to? Tonight? Tomorrow night? After that?" Again, good questions. "Maybe we can try approaching it tomorrow night. I think I'll need to let it sink in for a bit before jumping straight into it." That was probably best to be safe. She didn't want to end up traumatsied. "Plus...I do need to spend some time alone tonight." She had thought about skipping it but...she figured her first time being penetrated should probably be under her control too... It was still a bit scary to think about doing, but with this shift in her thinking, it wasn't as scary as it had been. She really was fine with sex if she was using it to show someone how she cared about them... "Though I might want to spend today reading up a bit more." Yeah, probably a good idea. He nodded. "Whatever you feel you need." He smiled up at her, a more relaxed gesture than he had been previous. The little bit of space seemed like it would probably do him some good too. They'd be able to approach it better if they had at least a little bit of time to settle and think on how best to approach things. They'd figure things out as they went, it seemed... She was fine with that. It'd be slow and awkward but she'd rather take her time than just run straight into things and end up with one or both of them hurt and/or traumatised. "Do you want to head back or sit out here for a little while longer?" She nuzzled their noses together then plopped down in his lap. "I think I'm pretty comfortable here for now." After being cooped up inside almost all of yesterday, she wanted to be out for a little while. Hubert wrapped his arms around her waist again and rested his chin on her head. She did have something she was curious about though. It was probably gonna be mortifying to ask for both of them, but she couldn't help but be curious. "Can I ask you something?" "Hm? What is it?" His voice held simple curiosity. She flushed hotly and clasped her hands in her lap, squeezing them together. "I know you said you love me but...does that include being sexually attracted to me?" It was mortifying to ask and she could only imagine how he felt about the suddenness of the question. She heard him splutter and his chest heaved and she could only imagine how hotly he must be flushing too. He did have the pallor of a coffin dweller but she could imagine his face being bright red right about now. "I... Uh." He sighed. "I would ask what brings this up but considering everything..." He sighed again. "I... Yes... I do find you quite attractive, my-- Edelgard. There's no real way around it." She felt her cheeks heat up more. "Thanks for being honest... I couldn't help but be curious." People didn't always have to be sexually attracted to others to love them, and the reverse could be true. Sexual attraction didn't necessarily mean love. It was documented pretty well in Adrestian literature and just general anecdotal experience. She really wasn't sure how to take it though... She'd never really thought anybody would find her attractive in such a way... She had been so tiny and underdeveloped until the past few years. The magic from the Agarthans had severely disrupted her body and its development due to the age she'd been experimented on. "Er, uh, would you like to start making any plans for tomorrow or...?" She could tell he was trying to desperately get away from the topic. "It's probably better to discuss it tomorrow... I'll need to read a bit more today to get a bit more info." She had read one book but it'd been entirely about female sexuality, not about having sex or anything of the like... A few of the books Juliane had given her handled coupling. She would mostly skim the books since she really didn't have all day to read, but if she could get any ideas, she would take them. "Very well." He kissed her head, but she could still hear his voice was a little strained. She felt bad for dumping that on him, but she was interested to know his thoughts and feelings on her. It sounded like his attraction had been relatively life long... Well, at least she knew he'd be loyal to her doubly over with that bit of information. He would never have eyes for anybody else. That much was apparent. He was loyal to her on the level of being a vassal, on a personal level, and a romantic one. She didn't want to betray those feelings, but depending on what happened with the consorts...she might end up with multiple romantic partners. Still... She was mostly just looking for help with childbirth and expanding the line of House Hresvelg. It was a perfectly legitimate way to use the consort system too… They sat there for a little while longer until she stood up and stretched. "I think we can head back." She didn't want to waste too much time when she could be reading. They were maybe twenty minutes out from the manor so it wouldn't take too long to get back. She was enjoying these little walks they took though... Seeing different places around the manor was nice. Hubert got to his feet and dusted his clothes off, then offered her his arm. She smiled and took her normal position, resting her head against his arm. She didn't really have anything to say, so the walk back was quiet. Once they got up to their room, she settled on the bed and picked up some of the books. "Feel free to do whatever you want. I'll be reading until bed for the most part." She wouldn't skip on their bath or her alone time, but other than that, she would just be reading. This kind of did betray the plans she'd laid out earlier, but considering the shift in everything, she hoped it was understandable. "Very well. I do have a letter to write." He bowed and excused himself to the Emperor's desk where she heard the scratching of quill on parchment. For the most part, the rest of the day was relatively quiet. They did eat lunch together as well as dinner, but she opted to read most of the day. After his letter, he did join her and she rested against him. He read his own volumes, clearly magical in nature, though she couldn't really decipher what he was reading up on. She just didn't have the magical knowledge yet to be able to decode these higher-level spells at a glance. Maybe she could have if she sat down and read the tomes themselves, but for the time being, she simply had no idea what he was reading about and he was a bit cagey with letting her see the cover or spine. Something was up but she couldn't exactly be sure what it was. Still, she opted to not give it too much thought. If he needed to tell her something, he would. But once they finished with dinner, she leaned up and kissed him. "Time then?" he asked gently. She nodded, feeling herself flush a bit. She was really feeling awkward about what she was about to do, but she wanted to do it on her own terms. It felt better to have most first things on her terms when she could facilitate it. Thankfully, he didn't argue and simply went over to the desk where he opened the book again, keeping his back to her. She did change from her training clothes over to one of her nightgowns, figuring it'd be more comfortable and easier to deal with than the pants, buttons, and all of that. She had been reading sex manuals for the majority of the day, so she at least did have a better idea of what to expect when it came to both the event itself as well as to how to handle the lead-up. That wasn't a worry tonight, but even so, she was glad she had read those books to get a good idea of what to expect. It was helping her feel a lot less nervous about everything. She at least did have a little bit of a plan with this round... She sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs, shivering a little bit as she found her pace and rhythm. She did not want to hurt herself when she did penetrate. It would still likely hurt no matter how much she prepared herself, but if she did, it would at least not be as bad. She and Hubert were really going to have to talk through things tomorrow as they went about it, but she had a feeling it would turn out fine. As she ground in her position, the pleasure slowly grew and her breathing did hitch a little bit. Yeah, this did feel good. She could definitely understand how people enjoyed this. She was now wondering what the full thing would feel like with both of them together. But she knew Hubert would put his attention on her to make sure things were as pleasant as possible. She wondered how it would be for him too... She didn't know what it was like for a man since the books she'd read had been mostly focused on women and written by women. The image of him pounding into her made her cheeks flush and she suddenly did feel a spike in the pleasure, her breath hitching again. The books had said that images would sometimes make it feel better but she hadn't expected it to be so immediate and sudden. She was a little embarrassed, but it was totally natural too. She held onto the image and, as she was pushed over, she shuddered a little bit as it was more intense than before. So apparently, that was the power of imagination or books for these purposes... She wasn't sure if she'd ever do this again after they did start coupling, but she definitely had it in mind. Her breath was a little faster than ever before and she removed her underwear, letting it drop to the floor. She could get a clean pair afterward. She definitely preferred sitting to the laying down, at least for that type of masturbation. She could get over quicker and find her positioning a lot better than the half sitting, half laying she'd started in. Part of that might also be inexperience... She simply hadn't done this before a few days ago, so knowing what to look and feel for was still pretty new for her. She opted to take the same half sitting, half laying position against the pillows, letting her nightgown gather around her hips. At least she knew she was pretty prepared for the penetration. She did feel some anxiety peak, but she took in a few breaths slowly to try to calm it. She was in control here and she could go at her own pace. She didn't have to rush anything. They still had several hours before they went to bed and needed to take a bath. There was plenty of sunlight left in the day so she didn't need to rush. She let her hand settle on her thigh and she slowly moved downward, her cheeks flushing a little bit as she felt the wetness. She knew it was perfectly normal, but it was still flustering for some reason. All of this was so new to her. She had never explored her body like this before. There was nothing wrong with it but still... It felt strange and like she was crossing some unspoken line. She was married, so it wasn't like she had to worry about bastard children out of wedlock and the scandal that would bring to House Hresvelg. Everything was perfectly within the parameters of what was acceptable by noble society and society at large. It was probably just her own mind getting in the way of things, the line she'd completely misconstrued from Juliane's talks on the matters. Right, she was stalling herself mentally. She started to rub up and down the length of herself, still not entirely used to having fingers down there. Still, it did feel pretty good... And after the earlier climax, she did feel a bit more sensitive than before. She had always stopped after that so she really wasn't sure what to expect afterward. Thankfully, it still felt pretty nice so she wasn't against doing more with it. She really wondered if Hubert did have any ideas for what they'd do tomorrow... He probably knew more about the topic than she did since her only real frame of reference was her limited experience and the couple of books she'd skimmed that day. After a couple of minutes of gently rubbing and working herself up a bit more, she took in a breath then started to gently prod at her entrance with one finger. It felt so strange and she could feel a part of her mind trying to reject it out of fear and anxiety, but she was mostly fine. The new frame of reference definitely did help. She wouldn't be doing this for a political marriage; she would be doing this to show affection to Hubert and he'd be doing it to show his love to her. She let her finger enter her slowly and she shivered, closing her eyes. Yeah, definitely a very strange sensation since she wasn't used to it. But thanks to her preparation, it wasn't too uncomfortable. It was just strange. All of the reading in the world couldn't have prepared her for how it actually felt. She didn't hate it at least. She continued to let it slowly and gently go inside of her until it had reached the end. Thankfully it wasn't too uncomfortable with the preparation. She just let it sit there for a bit, letting her body adapt. Her breath caught a little bit as she started to pull it out and she closed her eyes. Okay, yeah that definitely felt good. She started to slowly move the finger in and out of her, her body shivering and her breath shuddering a little bit. Again a strange sensation but not unwelcome. Part of her did want more so she stopped when she had almost fully pulled out of herself and eased a second finger inside alongside the other one. There was a little bit of discomfort there due to the stretching, but she was slow as she eased both inside until they reached the end. She leaned against the pillows, eyes closed. She could definitely understand why she was so afraid but doing this now... It really did feel good. Her fears were entirely founded, of course, as she had heard the horror stories and the books had definitely mentioned how painful it could be if a woman's body wasn't well and truly ready for being penetrated. Honestly, she kind of wished she'd done this a long time ago. But it would've been hard to get any alone time... Juliane and Hubert were with her nearly all hours of the day. She no longer had her own room since she had to stay with somebody to help keep the nightmares at bay. After giving her body a few minutes to adapt, she slowly started to move her fingers in her with slow, even thrusts. It didn't take too long after that for her hips to start moving on their own and she flushed. Body really did know what they wanted and how to respond naturally, didn't they? This felt really good and was way more intense than what she'd been doing before. Though she could combine the two in a way… She let her free hand go to her clitoris and she rubbed a little as she thrusted slowly. She inhaled sharply from the combined sensations, her whole body shuddering. She had never felt anything like this in her life. It...really was as good as Juliane and Augusta had said as well as the books. She started to increase the thrusting pace and rubbed, her breathing slowly starting to shallow from the effort. More and more she increased the pace until she reached a bit of a fever pitch, her breathing a bit erratic and definitely not under any sort of control. The pleasure washed through her entire body with sensations she had never experienced before. Eventually, it reached a height and her whole body spasmed. She dropped to the bed and leaned against the pillows. Her head spun and she closed her eyes. Oh... Oh Divine... That had been way more than what she'd done earlier... It was way more intense... She did not hate it in any shape, way, or form. Honestly, she could definitely get used to it becoming a staple of her life if Hubert didn't want to couple for more than helping her get pregnant… She lay there limply for a little while, coming back down from the intense high she'd experienced, then pulled her fingers out of herself. She looked over and saw a handkerchief on the table and it was black. She flushed. Oh. Hubert had come over and given her his so she could clean up. She did so and picked up her spent underwear and put it in the dirty clothes along with the handkerchief. She put a new pair of underwear on and walked over to Hubert, her face on fire. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he rested one of his hands on her elbow. "Have fun?" "I-- Uh... Yeah." She honestly hadn't expected that to have such an impact. She felt a bit mortified that he'd no doubt heard her. She'd been fairly quiet until this point so yeah... It was definitely embarrassing. Still... At least she knew how good it could feel. "So what do you want to do until our bath? We still have plenty of daylight left. Or would you rather go back to reading your books?" There was no judgment in his tone, though she could sense amusement. "I wouldn't mind picking up our magic lessons for a bit if you're okay with it..." She still wondered what exactly he was reading. He clearly didn't want her to know, though. Whatever it was, it had to be something big if he didn't want her to see it. "Very well." He had covered the small stack of books he'd  been reading with others so she couldn't make out the titles. He picked up one of the basic books then headed over to the bed with her. She rested against him and he walked her through the basic lessons for the next couple of hours with her, as usual, picking the theory and practice relatively well in a relatively short amount of time. "You really are quite the pupil, my-- Edelgard. You learn things at such a rapid pace. I really only need to explain things once then you get them immediately." "If only I were so good with chess..." She sighed. Chess was still proving to be quite the conundrum for her. She really needed to sit down and study those strategy books on her own in depth. She would be better suited for learning on her own in this case... She was benefitting from the current match and how Hubert was walking her through the movements, but it was still slow and inefficient. Helpful but inefficient.   "You'll get it in due time. I know you will. You're smart enough to not let something as simple as a strategy game defeat you." He kissed her head, an arm wrapped around her waist. She wasn't enjoying the game really, but she really did want to conquer it. The sheer challenge of it was pushing her to her limits and she always enjoyed something that did so. "Anyway, we should probably get into the bath now."   She nodded. "Yeah." She grabbed a fresh pair of underwear and headed into the bathroom to get the tub ready while Hubert grabbed his night clothes. Afterward, she thought and looked at him. "Want to put my hair up?" She didn't want to wash her hair again tonight so...   "We don't really have to do this anymore unless you want to, my-- Edelgard." That...was true, she supposed. A lot of this was about desensitising her to touch in a non-sexual way and getting used to being in the same proximity as him while both of them were naked. That was the main point of it...   "Honestly, I think it is kind of a nice way to bond... But if you don't want to, we don't have to." She really wasn't averse to having him touch her like that. It did feel kinda nice, though it might be kinda weird... She wasn't sure how many couples actually washed each other like that.   He smiled at her. "No, I don't mind." He walked over and followed her instructions on how to put her hair up into a bun. After he did that, she slid into the bath and closed her eyes. Honestly, it was weird what a sudden change things had taken... Yesterday, she had felt incredibly unready for any sort of penetration, yet today, she had been totally fine with it. A simple reframing of how things worked could go a long way in helping her feel comfortable with something. She still couldn't guarantee she could reciprocate his feelings at any point, but she hoped she would be able to in due time... Honestly, they could probably leave after tomorrow, but she wasn't keen to return to court so soon. She wanted to spend at least a couple of weeks here. The time away from court was doing her a world of good. She felt freer than she had in a very, very long time.   She heard Hubert get into the tub and he dunked his head under the surface, then held his head forward toward her. She smiled and started to wash his hair slowly and took her time with it. She massaged the product onto his scalp and washed it until all the products had had their turn. He did lean forward and kissed her, a faint smile on his face. "This is nice... I don't see any reason in particular to stop."   She touched their noses together and nodded, resting a hand on his cheek. "I don't see any reason to stop either. Though I think I'd just prefer to keep it with hair." She preferred to be in control when it came to her body. Her hair was part of her body but... She didn't know. It just felt different when it came to washing her body compared to her hair. She couldn't exactly pin down why, but it just did. Maybe her hair felt more like an extension than part of her body... It was hard to explain why.   "That's fine. Whatever you want to do is what we'll do." He caressed her cheek gently and kissed her nose.   With that done, they got washed up and headed out of the bath. They wound down for the night and curled up together, soon falling asleep on an owl's wing.