Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Edelgard found herself tossing and turning that night, really unable to get comfortable. She wasn't entirely sure why; she had combatted the stress that had consumed her for most of the day. She had accepted that the situation wasn't as bad as she thought it'd be. It had been fine. She hadn't been harmed or anything of the like. She had dealt with it and moved on like she had so much. Eventually, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she sighed, looking up at Hubert though there was no way to see him. "Is everything all right?" His voice was quiet, barely breaking the silence around them. It was really only loud enough for her to hear. She sighed. "I feel fine but I can't settle for some reason." She frowned, wishing that she could explain better. She had nothing on her shoulders aside from the normal stresses. She didn't have to worry about moving on in what they were doing because that was ultimately her choice. When she felt comfortable, she could speak up to Hubert about moving on. But she wasn't worried over that. She wasn't worried over anything. She just...really couldn't settle and sleep for some reason. She normally slept fine as long as somebody was with her. The nightmares hadn't bothered her for quite a while. "Hm." She could practically hear Hubert pressing his lips together. She felt him sit up and he lit a lamp, casting the room into harsh shadows. In this setting, she could almost feel afraid of him with how he tended to blend into the darkness. His ghostly skin and half-covered face made him look like a wraith. But she wasn't afraid of him; he was too kind and gentle with her especially right now for her to ever fear him. She knew what he was capable of, but that had never scared her since he would never turn it on her. "Maybe we should go for a walk." "That...honestly sounds pretty nice." She got off the bed and found her night pants and shirt, then changed into them. He offered his arm to her again and she took it and they left the room. It was...strange being outside like this at night. Everything was dark and still. She had never really one to be outside after dark. "This feels a bit strange, being out in the darkness like this..." It wasn't bad; it was just a different experience. She could still hear some servants walking around in the distance, but most everyone was tucked up in bed and asleep. She heard him let out an amused noise. "You're in my domain now. I did a lot of my...less savory work at night. I'm quite familiar with the darkness and it's an old companion. If anything, I feel kind of the opposite. Yes, I'm always around you, but the day has never been my domain. Secrets live in the night and they are conducted in the shadows." Huh, that line was almost poetic. He did speak fairly formally, but she had never quite heard him wax poetic like that. Again, not a bad thing, just...different from what she expected. "And I've taken that away from you. Sorry." She looked away a bit. She really hadn't meant to take anything away from him by marrying him. She just...had nobody else to turn to. The advisers had given her no other choice. Either hse found someone within a month or they put her with somebody. Somebody she might not have even known or somebody that would've been horrible for her. She couldn't risk being put with somebody that wouldn't have cared for her. She would've already been forced to have sex with them probably multiple times over and forced into pregnancy before she was ready. He gently squeezed his arm against hers and she saw him look at her. "Yes, my duties have now changed, but I do not regret you choosing me. I would rather protect you in this way than watch you be forced to couple with somebody that doesn't have your best interests at heart. I would never have been able to live comfortably knowing you were with somebody that had no desire to see you flourish." That...was surprisingly honest from him. She was so used to him pushing off his issues and thoughts into a little closet. Then again, she'd told him to try to be more open and show his human side to her more. She was still adapting to him actually doing that. "I'm glad. I still might want consorts at some point in the future, but for now...I'll just focus on life with you. I'm glad you have no regrets... I don't know what I'd do without you, Hubert." She rested her head against his arm. She really didn't. She didn't know Ferdinand well or Caspar. She simply didn't click well with some of the people that had been in the Black Eagles at Garreg Mach due to her temperament. She'd gotten along much more with the Blue Lions... She almost felt like she'd been born in the wrong territory sometimes. "If you do want consorts...I do already have fairly in-depth records of many young nobles even if they didn't attend Garreg Mach." She blinked and looked up at him, seeing a mirthless smile on his face. "I was prepared just in case something came up. And it seems like those notes might be put to good use in the future. But it is all your choice in the end. Using the consort system is not required of any Imperial leader. Unusual to not use it, but not required." She knew that much at least. She would definitely be in the minority if she decided to keep things strictly between her and Hubert. Most Imperial leaders had at least one or two different consorts, often people they started having affairs with but turned into an official partner. Then there were those who abused it and simply built a harem for their own personal gratification... She didn't particularly like those Emperors and Empresses that abused it in such a terrible way. "I'll think about it more in the future. Again, for now... Let's focus on us." She honestly hadn't been paying attention to where they'd been going and she found themselves out in one of the courtyards. There were a few lanterns lit along the stone pathways, but for the most part, it was dark and quiet. "Why did you bring me out here...?" "Have you ever really looked at the stars?" She shook her head. Astronomy and such had never really been a focus for her. She knew of some of the tales of the stars, but she had never sat down and learned to identify the constellations. It simply wasn't important enough for her to need to learn. He brought her out onto the grass and they sat down. He blew out the lamp and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. He started to talk, pointing out the different constellations they could see from their position. They didn't have the full night sky, but she did see the thick band of stars running down the middle of the sky. Even on her first falconry season when they'd been in the field, she'd never looked up and paid any attention to the sky. The only sky she paid attention to was when an eagle was on the soar in the middle of the day. This...was so very different than what she was used to. It was absolutely beautiful. She fell quiet while he talked, simply tucked against him. In some regards, it was a little strange to hear him talk so much. She was mostly used to him being a quiet observer and putting in only when he had counsel for her. All of this was so very strange to her. She was seeing sides to Hubert she never knew existed. He was generally free and open with affection toward her behind closed doors, but this was still a lot even for him. She wasn't complaining about it, but it was strange... She didn't hate it. It simply was taking her time to adjust to everything new about the life they'd agreed to have together. Still, she settled against him and listened while he talked. Eventually, she did feel her head start to feel heavy and her eyes drooped. She held back a yawn and he looked at her. "Are you getting tired? It might be best to head back to our room." She nodded. "Yeah, might be." She wasn't quite sure how long they'd spent out there, but the moon had visibly moved from its previous position. He stood up and offered his hand to her and she took it, then took his offered arm. He lit the lamp again and they headed back to their room. Again, the quiet stillness of everything hit her. She had never seen the castle quite so quiet and still before. It was...peaceful. If she weren't in court, she might honestly enjoy spending time outside in the quiet darkness. But she needed her rest after the exhausting days in court, so she would go to bed with the sun as she usually did. They settled back into bed and she fell into a light doze, though she still remained aware on some level until she sensed sunlight peeking around the curtains. She sat up and yawned widely, her shoulders dropped a bit and her eyelids still low. Hubert sat up and tilted her head up at him. "You didn't sleep well, did you?" She shook her head. "It's unlike us but...maybe we should just laze around today." She looked at him and nodded. "That is incredibly out of character for you to suggest," she observed. Neither of them were the type to lay around and do nothing. But she really didn't have the energy to do anything else. She Wanted to get up and do stuff, but she could feel her body wasn't going to cooperate, let alone her mind. She doubted she even had the mental faculties to play the games they had yesterday. Even mancala required an air of strategy which she definitely didn't have the mental processing to handle. "How about you try to rest and I read to you?" She hadn't been read to in...a long time. She was a grown woman, not a child anymore. But...she really didn't have the mental energy to handle anything. So she nodded and laid down. He ran a hand over her head and she closed her eyes. "I'll be back in a while. I'll go find some books." She closed her eyes and heard him changing, then everything went silent. There was barely any sunlight in the room with the curtains pulled shut, but she didn't move too much. She eventually heard the door open again and cracked her eyes, seeing Hubert with a tray of food and several books tucked under his arm. She sat up but leaned against him after he handed her the food. She ate slowly, finding even that to take a bit too much energy. After that, she laid back down and closed her eyes. For the rest of the day, she faded in and out of consciousness as he read various stories to her, or sometimes history texts. She caught on that it was mostly myths and stories from the War of Heroes, mixed in with actual history. Of course, none of it was entirely correct given the fact that Rhea had rewritten so much of Fodlan's history. But after the visit to the Red Canyon, she had seen why she'd been forced to do that. Still... She felt like better calls could've been made on how to handle Fodlan. The Crests were still a major point of contention for Edelgard after the Agarthans had killed her family over it... She still hated them for doing that to her family. And hated Rhea for allowing them to become such a prime symbol of status in the first place. Eventually, dinner came and once again, she ate quietly while tucked up against Hubert. He petted her head after they had finished and he kissed her forehead. "I'm assuming we'll skip our bath tonight?" She frowned but nodded. She really didn't have the energy for that. If it were by herself, maybe, but she did not have the mental processing power to deal with all of the heightened emotions that dealt with it all. She knew she should've taken care of herself that day, but she really didn't have it in her. "Sorry." She had put them off for a night which didn't feel great to her. They were trying to work toward something and needed every chance to work at it. But the heightened emotions would definitely cause her too much stress. She still wasn't sure why she hadn't slept well. Maybe it was just residual stress from the day or something else. She couldn't be sure. "It's all right, my-- Edelgard." He paused. "Would you like a sleep elixir tonight?" Those were usually pretty potent. She'd only had them a few times and they really put her under. They had nothing on the herbal concoctions normally used to help people sleep. "It might not be a horrible idea... I don't want us to get too far off kilter for too long." They might possibly lose momentum if she didn't keep them on schedule for too long. She didn't want that. She didn't want to bactrack at all and have to go one step back when they'd barely taken even one step forward. One night might not be too big of a deal, but much longer than that and they might run into trouble. "Very well. Would you just like me to bring it now?" There was still time in the day and she could see the sunshine around the curtains, but she nodded. She was pretty exhausted. All she wanted to do was sleep. He left and came back a  while later with a pot of tea and a small container that contained some sleep elixir. She settled against him while she drank the familiar lavender tea, then finished up with the sleep elixir. He petted her head while they waited for it to take effect which honestly wasn't long at all. Her head and eyes started to droop and he helped her lay down. It didn't take too long after that for her to fall into full slumber. curled up on her side.