Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The next day was relatively lowkey for the pair, mostly watching their servants pack and get them ready for the trip. They left that following morning. The trip to the home was much more relaxing for Edelgard than she'd thought it'd be. She was almost entirely not focused on her stresses and worries. She mostly rode Anni, her haflinger, though there were a few days where she had to sit in the carriage due to rain. Thankfully, though, she mostly got to ride in the beautiful weather. It was still hot and sticky, more than she liked, but that was just the way things were for the Adrestian Empire especially with as far south as Enbarr was. They weren't in Enbarr anymore, but it was still close enough in terms of latitude. They arrived one day in the afternoon and the servants got everything settled over the next several hours, leaving Edelgard and Hubert to their own devices. He looked at her as they stood outside. "So what would you like to do, my-- Edelgard?" Even after a few weeks, he was struggling with calling her by name. She couldn't be too mad at him, though. It wasn't like they'd spent the whole trip there talking or anything. He'd opted to stay in the carriage since she had never been too far from the traveling party. There were armed guards all around, so she could tell he felt okay to leave her under their care. "That's...a good question. I'm not really sure." They had a few hours until dinner was served, so it was really up to her. Juliane had sent her with...quite the list of books to read once she got to the vacation home. Some of it was erotic fiction which Edelgard had never read before. She was not particularly looking forward to it... But if it would help her, she felt like she had little choice but to at least give it a chance. "Maybe we ought to explore the property a little bit?" They were at the base of the mountains while the ravine stood on the other side of the range. It would give her plenty of places to explore. "You haven't quite had your fill of riding yet?" He looked amused but nodded. "That sounds fine. We shouldn't go too far, though, so we don't have to worry about getting lost." "All right. We can stay within range of the manor." It wasn't as opulent as the palace, but it was still opulent enough. She'd be more than comfortable here. Plus, without the memories attached to the palace...maybe things would be easier for her. "Let's go then." They headed out to the stables and saddled up, Edelgard falling into stride next to Hubert. He had a pretty good memory for things, so she trusted him to not get them lost. There were some guides available just in case they wanted to go further, though, but for now, they could stay within visible range of the manor. As they set out from the manor, she noticed it really did feel like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had missed this sort of freedom. It was terrible to be trapped in the palace of Enbarr each day, everyday for the rest of her life. Maybe she ought to consider taking sabbaticals from the court for a month or so every so often... Juliane was handling things pretty well even though she was trying to leave more and more of it up to Edelgard. Of course, the woman wouldn't be around forever, but for the time she was, she could handle the court plenty well by herself. The next few hours were quiet. There was really no need for them to discuss anything. She felt...surprisingly fine even with the little bit of anxiety nibbling away at the back of her mind. She hadn't felt this relaxed in...years. Even her time at the monastery hadn't been this relaxing or freeing. She'd still had classes, homework, missions and so on to worry about. Here... She had literally nothing to worry about except for the issues between her and Hubert. She was glad. She felt so much happier than she had in a very long time. They returned to the manor to a meal they took in their room as usual. But afterward, Hubert rubbed her arm and looked at her and kissed her head. "Well... What do you want to do next? It's up to you if you want to pick up where we left off or wait until tomorrow." His voice was incredibly quiet and she felt the anxiety crashing over her again. She pulled her knees to her chest and she sighed, running her hand through her bangs. "We...might as well just pick up where we left off. There's no point in putting it off. Plus... That's why we are here." That way they could handle things in relative peace. But she did feel...at least some less pressure now. With the pressures of court bearing down on her, she had felt even worse. But maybe she could approach this with a clearer head and with a bit more speed. She wouldn't push herself into something she wasn't ready for, but maybe without the other stresses, she could potentially be a bit more bold. "All right. Shall we get ready then?" She nodded. Honestly she was looking forward to a proper bath. She hadn't had running water for over a week now, so she felt dusty and dirty. Going out to the foot of the mountains hadn't helped either. The roads and trails were so incredibly dusty. She'd probably feel less disgusting if she had ridden in the carriage with Hubert, but she had wanted to taste the fresh air and open sky. She had missed being out like that. She had flown her red-tailed buzzard during Garreg Mach after classes, so she had at least gotten some time with that at the monastery. She let out a breath. "Honestly... Do you think you could try to wash my hair?" They hadn't done as much as she had thought they would, but she really wanted to try. Without the stress of court and the advisers breathing down her neck, she felt far less worry about doing all of this. Plus, it was non-sexual contact. It was just him washing her hair. He was quiet for a moment but she felt him nod. "All right. If it feels like too much, though, please let me know. I don't want you to up traumatised from this." His voice was incredibly quiet and she could actually hear fear there. His voice quivered. She looked up at him. It was...strange to hear him actually be afraid of something. But she leaned up and touched their noses together, offering him a small smile. "I will. Without the pressures of court and the advisers breathing down our necks...I feel a lot better. Plus, all of that riding did me a lot of good." Getting out always did her mind and body a ton of good. Her head usually felt clearer and she felt a lot more energised. It was one reason she enjoyed falconry so much. It got her outside and away from the normal pressures that were exerted on her. It gave her freedom she didn't experience elsewise. She was so glad that she was getting out here for a few months. It would probably do her a world of good. Hubert nodded, but she could still see the fear in his yellow eyes. She ran her hand down the side of his face, trying to reassure him as he so often did for her. "I'll be okay. If I don't feel it, I'll let you know. I know why you're worried about me. I really do. But let me make my own decisions." She really did want to try. She had no reason not to. She felt so much better with all of that riding under her belt. If she rode for a bit each day, she'd probably feel better. She could probably go out in the morning after breakfast. "Do you think you could help me with some magic studies after lunch each day?" He blinked, but nodded. "I-- yes, I suppose I could. Though why the change in subject?" "Just a thought." She had been pretty proficient with the magic she'd studied at Garreg Mach, so she wanted to get better at it. Maybe she ought to get up a bit earlier each morning at the castle and study with him. Or stay up a bit later. She didn't remember a whole lot about what she'd studied at Garreg Mach unfortunately... So she'd basically have to start from scratch again... "I'd like to get started in my magic studies again." She had enjoyed learning magic at Garreg Mach. Even if she would never be as good as Hubert or somebody else, she could still be proficient. "Ah, all right then; we can figure out a way to work that into our schedules once we return to the castle." He smiled at her, though she could still see trepidation there. She touched their noses again and got off his lap. She got off the bed and gathered her night clothes. She could hear Hubert doing the same and they entered the bathroom together. "Would you like to configure the bath again? You doing it a few times will help me understand the temperature you like better." She blinked but nodded. "Yeah, sure." Once was sometimes good enough for Hubert, but for something as sensitive as this, a few times would be good. So she dialed in the faucet to her preferred lukewarm temperature. Though she did make it a little bit warmer than normal, but not enough to make it too much for her. It was just a touch warmer. After the long travel, a warmer bath would feel nice. Once the tub was filled, she let out a breath and started to disrobe. Once again, Hubert had his back to her, but she spoke. "If you want to face me....you can." She was pushing herself, but she was at least choosing it this time. It wasn't an unintentional accident. She needed to get over this sooner rather than later. She knew she really shouldn't rush things, but she needed to get over the basics at least. She heard him make a sound, but he obviously rethought what he was going to say. Slowly, he turned around and she felt her face heat up. She did let out a small noise, but she took in a breath then let it out. She had to get used to this. It was where they were heading anyway as he'd pointed out. The sooner she got used to all of this, the better. There was nothing inherently sexual about this though. It was just being in the same room as her husband. They had already changed together several times so, it really was nothing new. After they finished getting changed, she slid into the bath up to her neck and let out a blissful sigh. "I hate being on the road." She hadn't minded her first falconry season being completely on the road, but Divine, had she ever hated missing her daily bath. Baths were probably the one vice she had. She did take care of her appearance so she would look good, but she wasn't especially vain or anything. She just...liked to look nice. She didn't value herself very much if she were honest… Hubert scooted close to her and she did feel her face flame anew but she didn't look away. "Is this routine up to date?" He outlined a haircare routine she'd had a while back, but she had changed a few things when summer had rolled back around. The sticky water in the air tended to make her hair react differently. She shook her head and corrected him gently. "I always change my haircare routine and skin routines at the start of each season. They shift subtly with the weather." She was surprised he even knew one of her routines but knowing each one would take time. Plus, she sometimes changed products to better fit what she needed. Still, she was touched that he had at least attempted to learn that to help take care of her. "Ah, forgive me then. Would you still like me to try?" She nodded. "I said I did. I haven't changed my mind." She smiled at him. She dunked her head under to get her hair wet and lined up the bottles. "Here's the right order for it." She didn't expect him to know what bottles contained exactly which products. She would keep them lined up for his sake. She could easily have them clumped together and recognise them since each was in a different colored bottle and they were often varying sizes. Still, she hoped he would learn in due time. Then again, this was Hubert. He would learn anything that would benefit her. No matter how difficult it was. "Thank you, my-- Edelgard." He kissed her head and she smiled up at him. She really was glad he was attempting to overcome his lifelong ingraining of calling her by title. She hoped it would get better in due time. They had barely talked during the trip, so it wasn't like he'd gotten much chance to practice calling her by name during that week and a half period. She tilted her head down and helped instruct him how to run through her routine. He was awkward with it but he was obviously trying his best. She couldn't fault him for taking his time as this was new to him. Eventually, though, he finished and she smiled at him. "You did well. I know it's pretty complex and it only gets worse when dealing with all the seasonal variations." It was a mess of complex products and so on. But she knew he'd learn it in due time even if it took a few years. He would do anything to make sure she was cared for even if it was something as basic as her haircare routine. "Would you like me to do yours?" He chuckled a bit. "It's nowhere near as bad as yours is, my-- Edelgard." He dunked his head into the water and he walked her through his routine. It was only three products, though, so it was much less cumbersome and complex. She'd probably have it own in just a couple of days, though it'd probably take him longer to learn hers. There were eight different products she used depending on what her hair needed. Sometimes she used all of them, sometimes she only used some of them. There was a lot of variability. But considering it'd been a week and a half since she'd last washed it, she needed to use all of them. She settled in and rested her head against Hubert's shoulder. "Would it be okay if we just sat here for a little while?" She just wanted to sit and soak for a while. She was rarely one to spend more time than needed in the bath but considering it'd been so long since she'd had a proper bath, she wanted to soak for a while. "Whatever you want." She felt his hand move a bit but he looked at her. "Would you be okay with me resting my arm across your shoulders?" She blinked, having not thought about that, but she was glad he was thinking about every move he made. It couldn't be easy on his psyche to suddenly be so conscious of something that he did so naturally and instinctively. She thought for a moment before nodding slowly. "Okay." She felt his arm raise and slip behind her and he rested his hand on her shoulder. She did feel her face heat up more, but she didn't feel panicked or anything. Just flustered. She closed her eyes and felt him gently pet her head, her long hair trailing in the water. They sat there for a while until the water started to get a bit too cold even for her. "Let's get out." She looked up at him and he nodded. They got out and she kept him in the corner of her eye, her face lightly flushed as she did look at him. He didn't seem to pay her any mind, though, and simply changed into his night clothes. She took a towel out of the bathroom with them and sat on the bed, gently wringing the moisture out. "...I might have an idea that could help with that. With the density of your hair, it'd probably take a few hours to dry." She turned to face him and blinked. "Would you like to try?" She turned her back to him to let him have unfettered access to her hair. He took her hair between his hands. Within about half an hour, it was completely dry. "What...did you do?" She was amazed. She had never had her hair dry so quickly before. Probably some sort of magic but she wasn't sure what he had used. "Low-heat fire magic. Nothing too insane. You were pretty proficient with magic at Garreg Mach, so if you can relearn to do basic fire spells, you could easily learn how to do this for yourself. But until you do, I can do it for me." She turned around and saw him smiling. She nodded. That would probably be doable, maybe if even just in a few days. She had always been one to learn things relatively quickly. "That I could probably learn pretty quickly." She smiled at him and tucked against him again. "Plus, there couldn't be a better teacher." He knew how to handle her incredibly well and was never too harsh with her. He could be incredibly harsh with people, especially ones he thought were stupid. But he knew how quickly she could learn, so he would definitely have patience for her while she relearned magic. Something like fire magic would probably be relatively simple especially as she refreshed all of the theory she'd learned at Garreg Mach. He did clear his throat a bit and she looked up at him. "Is something wrong?" He only did that when he felt especially awkward or uncomfortable. Well,sometimes he needed to clear it like any other person, but for him, it was definitely a unique tic that she could use to pinpoint his mood. "I... You just praise me so wholeheartedly. It can be a little flustering sometimes. Especially now that we're..." He trailed off. She...had never known he felt that way before. She did praise him but it was because she was genuinely thankful for his service to her. She relied on him so much that she wasn't sure what she'd do without him in her life. Normally, she'd look at people like him and declare them unfit to be in his position for abusing his power but... She couldn't do that to him. She just couldn't. Plus, it was House Vestra's place to take care of things with...less than clean hands. "Oh... Should I stop?" She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. She just did legitimately appreciate him. He shook his head. "I didn't mean to imply that; you can keep doing it. I'm sorry if it made it seem like I wanted that. You did tell me to show me my more human side so that's what I did." Edelgard nodded. That was what she'd wanted. She wanted him to be able to be himself around her to whatever extent he felt comfortable. "Though....I also do have a question." "What is it?" She looked up at him. She also wanted to hear what he had to say. Though she could see a faint flush along his jawline as she looked up at him with her head tucked against his chest. "Well... How would you feel about using kissing to be affectionate? I know it's usually seen as a romantic gesture but..." His voice quivered a bit and she could he was flustered by this. She felt a bit of heat rise in her own cheeks. "O-Oh, uh..." She hadn't been expecting that of all things. "I'm...not...really sure since you did just bring it up out of the blue though..." She thought back to when she'd touched their noses together, the heat rising further. For a split second, she had felt the desire to do that but she'd shoved it down. She had just passed it off as a fleeting thought but... "Maybe it's worth exploring." "Ah." He was clearly surprised. It was understated, but most things about Hubert were. Unless they were threatening somebody and trying to scare them off. Outside of that, he tended to be pretty understated... "And I'm not saying we have to do it all the time or anything but--" He was actually rambling because he was nervous? She had never expected to hear that from him. But she shifted and leaned up, touching their noses together. "It's okay, Hubert... You aren't forcing anything on me with it. I...did admittedly think about it for a split second." She could see his cheeks were far redder than she'd ever seen on him before. He was incredibly flustered over this. She had never seen him in such a state before. She was so used to him being cool, calm, and collected at all times. But she had asked to see his human side. It was just...strange to actually see it without a filter. "Would...you like to right now?" "Ah, I suppose... There's no better time than the present as they say." His voice was a little higher than normal. She'd never seen this side of him before. Honestly, it was kind of cute. Adorably awkward. She might never see it again. He put a hand on her cheek and lightly brushed his lips over hers. He was being hesitant, so she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his. There was no feeling there, but...it wasn't terrible or anything. If he wanted to use it to comfort her or be affectionate toward her, she wouldn't hate it. "It's...fine. Nothing crazy." She had heard some people describe kissing as a shower of sparks for them or a burning flame. But that was from people that actually cared about each other emotionally. Well. She and Hubert cared about each other but not in the same way. Their relationship was...complicated, but there was no real romance there. "Well, if you're all right with it, we can do it more in the future." She nodded her agreement and settled against him again. She did yawn widely, though. "Perhaps we ought to head to bed. It's been a long trip, then we rode for several more hours. Everyone has their limits." She nodded again, suppressing a yawn. "Yeah... Would You mind drawing the curtains?" She would probably sleep in the following day. He did so and, once they were all settled in, Edelgard tucked against Hubert while he wrapped his arms around her. She closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep. ☽ Hubert listened to Edelgard as she fell asleep, holding her close. Being outside was so good for her and he knew it, but getting her to listen could be so difficult sometimes. She had seen how good it was for her at Garreg Mach, but she still refused to go outside even when it would massively benefit her. He hoped that she would actually pay attention this time. She really needed to get outside and away from the stresses of court. But she was just so stubborn in her own way that it was so hard to get her to capitulate to her own needs. Still, he was surprised by her decisions this evening. Not having the stresses of court really was doing her a great thing. He wished that she didn't have to take over the Empire... She obviously didn't have the temperament for ruling. The Church was rooting out the Agarthans on their own, so she didn't have to deal with that on her own... Damn them all for doing what they had. This was so entirely unfair to her. She should never have been on the throne. Tobias should be ruling at this point and should have been for at least a decade now. But since he was dead, along with all of Edelgard's other siblings, she had no choice but to take over. He would've loved to strangle the Agarthans' leader with his own bare hands. They had done horrible things to the Imperial family... At least he had gotten the satisfaction of killing his father with his own hands for taking Edelgard from him. It looked like an accident but it most definitely had not been. Still... He was glad to see his lady so relaxed and happy. He hadn't seen her this relaxed since she'd been allowed to pursue falconry after the Crest experiments. She had flashes of it at Garreg Mach, but the pressure of classes and everything else had diminished her happiness. This would unfortunately only be temporary... But at least he could help her be free for a little while. She deserved to not have so much stress on her shoulders while worrying about intimacy. He'd make sure her only stress right now would be that… He gently kissed her head and closed his eyes, soon falling into slumber himself.