Bite, Lick, or Nothing: Part 4
March 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Skully suddenly appears from under the chair with his arms outstretched.
β Hello everyone. I am Lord Skully and with me in this episode will be Wander and Sylvia. β He introduced his two new participants. β By the way, many of you sent me a lot of letters asking me to invite Lilith and Starfall as two new participants in this episode, and some asked for Lord Wander and Lord Sylvia to participate with me. What are you, crazy watchdogs? β the skeleton twirled his finger at his temple. β Do you want these bastards to ruin my show and kill me altogether?... No! So forgive me, but you will not live to see them! Even if you kill me! Although I am essentially dead anyway. Why should I die a second time? However, I am not that stupid. β He knocked his fist on his skull. β That's why today we'll only have the usual Wander and Sylvia
β And for those who forgot the rules or didn't watch the previous episodes, let us remind you! β the weirdo raised his right index finger. β We have ten trays, under the lids of which something tasty or crazy and scary is hidden. β He looks at the trays and grabs his head. β Well, maybe not scary.
β We open them one by one, draw lots and see who gets "Bite!", "Lick!" or "Nothing!" β Sylvia explains. β And whoever refuses to complete the task will face a terrible punishment. β She grabs her head.
β And as a punishment in this episode, whoever refuses will get a shapalakh from Grandfather Omnipotence. β The teenager pointed to a formidable large skeleton, one of whose lightning-shaped horn was large, like Dominator's, and the other was broken off and small. In his right hand he held a large saucepan, and in the other he had a hammer for hammering nails.
β Shapolakh? What kind of food is that? β Wander didn't understand. At that moment Lord Omnipotence snuck up behind him and put a saucepan on his head.
β No. Shapolakh is when I put a saucepan on your head, and then... β he didn't have time to finish speaking and swing his arm to hit the saucepan with the hammer.
β STOP!!! β Sylvia stopped him, holding out her hands. β The game hasn't started yet, and you're punishing us ahead of time for nothing.
β I wasn't going to punish Wander. He was just curious and I wanted to show him what a shapolakh was. β Omnipotence explained and took the saucepan and left. β Okay. I'll come back and give each of you a shapalakh as soon as you refuse to perform the actions as agreed.
β Thank you, Grandpa. β his grandson praised him. β And so, the show begins!"
***
β First tray. Let's see what the patrols, relatives, and other friends have prepared for us! βSkully said and opened the tray. There was a huge brown egg. β Wow! It's an ostrich egg! Let's see what we get. β "Lick!" appeared above Wander's head, "Nothing!" above Skully's head, and "Bite!" above Sylvia's head. β Wander will have to lick the egg... Hmm... It sounded kind of ambiguous. β I'm used to it. I generally like fried eggs, but I've never eaten such big ones in my life. But in principle, I can try." said the ginger boy and licked the egg. Suddenly it started to hatch and a baby ostrich appeared. β Mom! β he said. Skully, Wander and Sylvia were touched and inhaled, smiling. β I definitely won't bite the baby bird. But I think if I bite just the shell of the egg, it will count as me completing the task. β said the zbornak and just bent down, when suddenly someone poked her in the back of the head with a beak, as if with a finger, hinting at themselves from behind. Sylvia turned and saw in front of her a large ostrich, who was probably the mother of that baby bird, and she looked menacingly at the zbornak. β Oh! Hello. Are you his mom? Don't get me wrong, I just wanted to take and try the shell of the egg, and I wouldn't even touch your baby with a finger. But the ostrich did not believe the words of the zbornak and was even more angry with her. She pecked her nose with her beak. Sylvia grabbed her nose. Then the ostrich pecked her in the stomach, causing Sylvia to fall. She stood over her and began to peck her painfully in the neck. Skully and Wander watched this in horror and did not know whether they should intervene and help Sylvia?***
β Next tray! β Skully opens it, and there was long black, curly and dreadlocked hair. β Ripov's hair! β Where did you get it from? β Sylvia asked. β Let's just say I have a very professional agent who can get anything.The day before β one in the morning
At night, in one house, Ripov was sleeping and snoring, lying on a hammock with a gun in his hands. Little Bits snuck into her house. β Mommy phill phe phaph! β she said to herself and snuck up to Ripov. She was still sleeping and snoring, unaware that someone was next to her at the moment. Sweetie climbed onto the nightstand with the alarm clock and leaned her head over Ripov's. The cat smiles maliciously, holding the scissors in her hands. β Mommy phill puniph! She puts a baldness pill in her mouth while she snores in her sleep. Feeling something in her mouth, she chews it without opening her eyes. Her hair on her head immediately detached from her purple head. β I love the taste of victory in the morning! β Ripov said through her sleep and continued to sleep, turning over on her side. Little Bits laughs maliciously and takes Ripov's hair with her.A little later that day
The sun rose, morning came and the alarm rang. Bald Ripov woke up and stretched her arms up, yawning. She went to the sink to wash her face, but suddenly saw her head reflected in the mirror and, frightened by herself, not recognizing herself without the stripes, screamed, clutching her bald head: β WHERE IS MY HAIR???***
β Let's draw lots! β "Bite!" appeared above Toot-and-Tam's head, "Nothing!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Lick!" appeared above Sylvia's head. β Wander will have to take a bite, but first Sylvia will have to lick them. Zbornak leaned over and licked Ripov's hair. She stuck her tongue out in disgust. β Ripov, if you ever watch this episode, change your shampoo and wash yourself! β Now I need to bite it off. β the weirdo said to himself, bit off a hair from the pile of hair and suddenly he screamed in the voice of the Ripov's: β SCULLY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? β bulging his eyes and covering his mouth with his hands, he himself did not understand what had just happened to him?***
β The next tray! β Wander opens it and sees someone's dentures there. β Some granny's dentures? β Maybe that queen left them? β Sylvia suggested. β No, it's really some granny who lost them. Do I even know where they came from? β Skully scratched the back of his head.At the same time
An elderly granny with a red scarf on her head looked around. β What an old fool I am! Where did my dentures go?***
β Okay, never mind! Let's look at the signs and wait for the result. β "Bite!" appeared above Wander's head, "Lick!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Nothing!" appeared above Sylvia's head. β Okay. Now I'll try to lick it from above. It's good that I washed it in warm water before putting it in this tray. β Skully runs his tongue along the top of the jaw.At the same time: Again!
β Ow! I feel like someone kissed my jaw. Someone wants to kiss my lips! I'm already running to you, handsome! β the old lady rejoiced and ran.***
β Now it's your turn, Wander! β Skully said. β Just watch out, suddenly the owner of this jaw feels how someone licks and bites her jaw. And suddenly it will hurt. β Sylvia suggested and giggled, covering her mouth. β Don't be afraid, Syl. I will be very gentle and will not bite so hard. - answered the redhead and just opened his mouth, bringing his teeth closer to the jaw, when suddenly the old lady herself ran up. β There you are, my prince! Kiss me! β she says, running to the weirdo and knocking him down on the floor, kisses him on the lips. Skully and Sylvia widened their eyes and clenched their teeth, looking at this horror. Skully asks the cameraman Andy with her palms to stop filming this.***
β The next tray! β Skully opens it and there was a black box. β What is this? β Sylvia does not understand. β It's a black box! There is something in it that we can't see. And we can open it and check what's in it only after someone licks and bites off the contents of the box without looking. Let's go! - says Wander and "Lick!" appears above his head, "Bite!" above Skully's head, and "Nothing!" above Sylvia's head. - I'm first. - He closed his eyes, stuck his tongue into the box and had just licked it when he suddenly felt something disgusting and began to spit to the side. - What a disgusting thing! What the flell is that? Skully became interested and bit off without looking. β No, it's very tasty. β Okay, now let's see what's hidden in there? β Sylvia lifts the black box and all this time there was a large and fried steak hiding there. That is, meat. Zbornak laughed. It's no wonder that Wander didn't like it. Orange man got upset and turned away from his friend in anger, folding his arms across his chest.***
β Next tray! β Skully opens it and there is a big wasp hiding inside, buzzing loudly. β Me grob! That's a big Martian killer wasp. Its venom is very poisonous and incurable. I hope I'm lucky! - Skully looks at the signs with his comrades and "Lick!" appears above his head, "Nothing!" appears above Wanderer's head, and "Bite!" appears above Sylvia's head. - Bad luck! I'll have to lick it! You're a wasp, I'm a wasp! - He was just sticking his tongue out when the wasp suddenly swooped down and painfully stung the skeleton on his tongue. Skully jumped up and screamed at the top of his lungs. When the wasp stung him and let go, Skully's tongue swelled up, becoming huge like a ball and inflating like a beating heart. Wanderer and Sylvia's eyes bulged and they were scared. β No way! I wonβt bite her. β Sylvia said. At that moment, Omnipotence crept up behind her, put a pot on her head and hit it with a hammer. From the blow of the hammer on the pot, Sylvia fell, suffering a concussion. β So thatβs what a shapolakh means. β the weirdo realized, and the skeleton was sad, except for his huge tongue that stuck out. Wander took a special tongue ointment out of his hat. β Apply this every morning and the bee venom will go away.Three days later
β My tongue is fine now. Now letβs open the next tray! β Skully opened it and there was a baked potato inside, which looked a little strange. β Hm-m. It doesnβt look very appetizing. But letβs see what the signs say!β β "Lick!" appeared above Wander's head, "Nothing!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Bite!" appeared above Sylvia's head. Wander was indignant. β Hey, what are you? I'm not going to lick this poop. Let Omnipoteti hit me on the head instead! β he only said, and Omnipotence put a saucepan on his head, after which he hit it. Sylvia picked up the object and sniffed it to make sure that it wasn't poop at all. She tasted it and smiled. β It's a potato-shaped cake! You silly thing! β Sylvia teased her friend, lightly nudging him in the shoulder with her elbow.***
β We have a new tray! And there we have... β when the skeleton opened it, there was already real poop. β Ugh, damn it! What the heck?... Look at the board! - "Bite!" appeared above Wander's a "Lick it!" above Skully's head, and "Nothing!" above Sylvia's. β I won't make a mistake this time! I won't mess up a poop cake. β he said and just got closer to the brown thing, opening his mouth, when Skully tried to stop him with a scream: β NO, STOP!!!***
β Okay! Forget what happened and move on! β Skully and his friends were shocked. The teenager opens the next tray and there was a bottle with some pink liquid. β This is truth serum. Whoever drinks it will only tell the truth and will never be able to lie until its effect wears off. Look at the boards! β "Nothing!" appeared above Wander's a "Lick!" above Skully's head, and "Bite!" appeared above Sylvia's head. β I'll just put one drop on my tongue. β That's exactly what he did. β Now ask me anything! β Well, I personally have nothing to ask. β says the zbornak. β And I'll ask just one question. Do you masturbate? β asked the redhead, to which the skeleton laughed in response and replied: β Of course not! β Seriously? β Wander didn't believe it, his eyes bulging. β I would have told you this honestly even without the truth serum. It's better to ask me a question that I'm hiding the answer to and am afraid to answer! β asked the teenager. β Okay then. β the redhead thinks and asks. β Have you ever been pansexual? This time Skully is silent, although he was preparing to answer. β Looks like the serum has worn off. I guess you'll never know now. - Skully was upset. β Okay, now it's my turn. β Sylvia answers, takes the bottle and drinks it all down. β Ask me! β Do you masturbate? β asked Wander. β Yes. β she answered, smiling at first, and then realizing that she shouldn't have answered that, she covered her mouth. Skully and Wander laughed at her. Zbornak was upset. β Okay, okay, Syl. To be fair, I admit... I like doing it myself. β the weirdo confessed. β I always knew that, I just kept quiet so as not to upset you. β Sylvia told him and closed her mouth, realizing that she shouldn't have said that. β WHAT???... β Wander was indignant. β But how, when? β One night before going to bed, when we were sleeping together in a cell on the skull ship, I pretended to fall asleep and noticed how you took your right hand to your... β the zbornak covered her mouth with her hands and tail, starting to moo so as not to tell the truth anymore. β Aunt Sylvia, that's enough! We'll be right back when the truth serum wears off. β the teenager says to the camera.***
β There are only two trays left and we're opening this one! β Skully says and opens it. There was a bowl of soup. β Hm-m... It's soup... And it looks like it was made recently. Let's wait for the result. β "Pour it down the toilet!" appeared above Wander's head, "Nothing!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Bite!" appeared above Sylvia's head. The trio was shocked by Wander's result. β Wow!... For the first time in the entire episode, a different action option appeared that wasn't related to the three common results. This hasn't happened before. β Well, I'll try it anyway. β Zbornak takes a spoon, tries the soup and spits it out. β Ugh! It's not tasty. Whoever made it can't cook at all. β Well, then I'll go and pour it out. β Ginger takes the bowl of soup and leaves with it.***
β The last tray and our suffering will be over! β the skeleton picks it up and it turns out to be a baldness pill. β Oh! We already had this pill last time. Whoever tries it will lose their hair and go bald. But at least they wonβt have to go to the hairdresser. All eyes on the board! β βLick!β appeared above Wanderβs head, βNothing!β appeared above Skullyβs head, and βBite!β appeared above Sylviaβs head. β Iβm lucky! Iβm going to try it now. β Wander said and licked the pill. Suddenly all his orange fur fell off him and he turned pink. He noticed this, blushed, took off his hat and covered his pubis with it. β Am I naked?... Iβm naked! Really! Flirt, how can I not be ashamed? Skully laughs at him and then turns to the zbornak. β So, horse, are you ready to go bald? β No-Wa-Y! β she answered sternly, syllable by syllable, while Omnipotence with a pot and a hammer was sneaking up on her from behind. β What the hell did I come to your stupid show for? I thought we were just going to have fun here, not go bald and make fun of each other. β Omnipotence had just put the pot on her head and was about to hit her, when suddenly Sylvia took the hammer away from him in anger and hit herself. β Hey! Well, I actually wanted to hit you! Ow! Oh, come on! β Grandpa waved his hand and left.***
Skully hugs Wander in a shirt and pants, as well as Sylvia. β Well then. That was our last episode of the show "Bite, Lick, or Nothing!" β Stop! What do you mean the last one? There won't be any new episodes? β Wander didn't understand. β Unfortunately, yes. This is already the fourth episode, and the ideas for dishes, punishments and new players have already run out. And our show may go downhill sooner or later. But if our viewers want us to continue this show anyway and send us new good ideas, then maybe Skorchar, Zorphen and Andy and I will think about it and make a few more episodes. β Write to us so we know if you want this show to continue! β Sylvia waves goodbye.
