Remember Me

After all compromises are set coexisting becomes easier. They are sure something will come up eventually, but for now the main questions are solved. Sometimes Hyunjin bickers to tease Changbin when he needs his help during the lessons, but at the end he always gives him needed answers. Even at home he agrees to help him practice English words before a verbal examination looking like a king who has decided to show mercy, but ends up dictating him all the words when the examination starts anyway. At the same time, Changbin shows him the university and goes outside to take a walk in the campus park on breaks. He occasionally leaves Hyunjin there if the latter wants to watch trainings of the local sport teams and picks him up after classes. Sometimes Hyunjin yells from the outside talking gibberish out of boredom or telling him about rumors that he overheard which makes Changbin giggle and get puzzled looks from Jisung. “They’re sharing dope in the room C168,” his voice comes from the window. “Some funky herbs, but of dubious quality if you ask me. You know who’s the pusher? Your library dude. Hell, I told you that people like him never smile so blissfully without a reason; this dude’s just high all the time. Fucking Alice in the Cannabisland.” Every now and then Hyunjin also adds to his entertaining function yet another one. Something between brain fucking and nobility. Changbin turns off the alarm that was urging him to resurrect for the first class. The mind turns off as fast as it turned on. Even the hardest sofa feels like the softest silk in the morning. “Get up, student,” a mocking voice pulls him out of the sleep. “You’re gonna be late.” “Fuck it.” “Come on get your ass up. You’ll sleep it off when you come back home.” “Fuck off.” Changbin frowns and covers his face with a pillow. “I could but professor will give you penalty points. Quit whining,” Hyunjin walks around the sofa and leans to his ear. “Get up!” Changbin twitches startled, grunts and throws the pillow away. Right above him there is the ghost’s mischievous face with a honey lock of hair swaying in the air. Changbin sleepily observes him for a while and then rubs his eyes. “I’m awake okay? The hell you want from me?” “Rise and shine, cloud.” “What cloud?” “A rain cloud,” Hyunjin sits on the coffee table and chuckles. “All grim and disgruntled but actually not scary at all.” Two weeks pass by and Changbin notices that the ghost has become much calmer. Still rather cocky but it feels as if he was finally convinced that emotional reactions that he can get are not limited and there is no need to badger the living hell out of his host. Hyunjin restored the emotions that he was lacking and now normal communication on an ongoing basis is enough for him. However if he is talking he always turns around to make sure that Changbin is listening to him. To feel that he is really being heard. He does not admit it but he literally revels in the fact that he exists. Hyunjin likes movies, he likes sharing his opinion, discussing it, arguing about minor details. If they watch something together they always talk about it for at least an hour afterwards. Changbin is not just being polite, he catches himself actually enjoying the discussions because the ghost has a point and is always ready to process Changbin’s thoughts from his own perspective. Harshly but honestly. Changbin especially likes it when Hyunjin is so hyped by an idea that he actively throws hands in the air and starts marching around the apartment while thinking out loud. Just like an alive human. Hyunjin also likes everything new. New stores in their district, new cafes, new routes between buildings. He has spent too much time in one place. That is why one day Changbin thinks that he himself would not mind breaking out through the cycle they are used to. After a nice sleep on Sunday he eats breakfast and then starts putting on a hoody. “Going to the store?” “To the cinema downtown.” The dark eyes of the ghost seem like they have flared up though there is nothing to get flared in the phantom. “We’re going to the cinema?” “Any objections?” “Hell no, I thought you never crawl outta your cave besides the uni,” he springs onto his feet. “Get dressed faster, rain cloud, let’s fucking go.” Hyunjin looks so excited that Changbin suppresses a smirk that was trying to break out. The ghost had bad luck with a homebody-host, but sometimes Changbin is up for a walk and some fresh air. Moreover, it was deserved: lately Hyunjin has been helping him almost without complaints and blames. On the way to the subway station the phantom is almost absorbing the surrounding with his eyes while spinning his head around. Bright advertisement posters, vocal announcements, funkily dressed up people, display cases decorated by god knows what, food vans. He does not even grumble at streams of people who are passing right through him cause he is too lost in scanning everything around him. From time to time Changbin peeks at his left to keep him in his sight. Being a ghost, Hyunjin is always wearing the same clothes that his soul left the body in: sneakers, black jeans, a white t-shirt and a wide graphite shirt with rolled sleeves. Easy to look over in the crowd so Changbin has to focus on his hair and height. Changbin does not like the subway, he does not like public transport in general. There are always restless spirits there. His station in no exception. An escalator gets people down to the brightly lit area that is no different from dozens of other stations. Changbin glances at the farthest part of the platform and sees a sad girl who was sitting on a bench. She is always sitting there and sometimes she jumps on the rails getting back up every time, of course. “She killed herself, didn’t she?” asks Hyunjin noticing where he was looking. “Yeah. Long time ago, I think when the platform was still open and didn’t have all these glass borders.” “Did you talk to her?” “No. I don’t like talking to…” Changbin remembers that there are people around him who think that he is on the phone and chooses words carefully. “To them.” “You’re afraid they might follow you?” “And that’s too yeah. Actually not many of them can follow along, they’re usually strictly tied to their energy spots. It’s just those like her or those who were deliberately killed have a very heavy aura. It’s cold, dark and thick. I don’t wanna hear about their problems, especially because there’s nothing I can do for them. And they usually can’t shut up.” “That’s why you don’t like going outside,” realizes Hyunjin. “Yeah. It’s possible to collect a whole ass horde on the way.” “Aren’t you scared of them? Of us, I mean.” “What’s scary about you? You can’t do anything to me physically besides fucking my brain and ruining my mood,” Changbin sneers. “I used to though. When I realized that it wasn’t normal I was terrified, but then I got used to it. After all these years.” “I’m still not comfortable. I tried to avoid them when I was roaming round the streets. Even though I’m the same.” “You’re different. There are many different types depending on what happened but it’s the first time I meet your situation. You’re bright.” “At least I’m not suicidal,” Hyunjin sniffs entering the carriage with Changbin. “I wouldn’t want to be on a leash at the same place.” “And in the same loop. They’re all stuck. Always get back to the same point. What a fucked up fate.” The conversation about the spirit world ends. They wobble in the subway for thirty minutes checking the timetable and choosing a movie. It was a spontaneous walk so Changbin did not plan anything. It actually was funnier. However, the spirit world reminds of itself when they get back up to the surface and go through the park. There is an active chatter coming from the field circled with benches. Changbin stares trying to figure out what that gathering was about, but he realizes that they were all spirits too late. The spirits get quiet for a few seconds when they notice his gaze. “Ya see us?” growls one of the guys in a hoarse voice of a heavy smoker. Changbin immediately looks away pretending to just be looking around and walks faster. “What’s wrong?” Hyunjin is confused. “He’s talking to a ghost! He can see us!” “Hey ya come here let’s talk!” a guy with messy hair and scratched hands runs to him and so do the others. “How can we leave this place?” “Why are we stuck here?” “Fuck,” mumbles Changbin almost switching to running. “Stay there kid!” “Fuck off y’all,” suddenly roars Hyunjin making Changbin stop and turn around in surprise. “Cut that jabbering you fucking junkies. Probably butchered each other and now have nothing to do but whine. Served you well.” “No one asked your opinion, pretty face, get fucked.” “Say that again and I’mma fuck up your face pretty well.” Hyunjin puffs out his chest and menacingly walks towards them. The group of ghosts that was determined to talk starts to slow down and freeze a couple of meters before them. It seems like the energy of Hyunjin, who proudly lifted his chin and crossed arms over his chest in a belligerent manner covering Changbin with himself, was suppressing them. “It’s my medium, you hear me? He doesn’t solve supernatural problems, so he ain’t gonna help you. And he ain’t gonna listen to your shittalk, he’s busy.” “Busy with what?” “With me, you dickhead. That’s it, get back to your spot. There’s nothing you can get here.” The puzzled company is hesitant, swaying on their feet. Some of them spit at Hyunjin’s direction with disappointment and go back. They gather around the field again and peer at him with irritation. Meanwhile Hyunjin makes sure that they gave up and then comes back to Changbin. “Well, look at you.” “They should know their place. Are we supposed to run away and sneak like some losers? As hell we are. Don’t they dare mess with us.” “Or what are you gonna do to them?” Changbin who recovered from shock finds Hyunjin strutting around rather funny. “Something. Can ghosts fight each other?” “Never seen that.” “Well that’s a pity. I think I did something to them anyway. They kinda shrank in a way.” “There was a strong energy wave coming from you. It’s like you pushed them back and that’s why they couldn’t get close to me.” “Good. They won’t bother us again.” “Did you sign up to be my bodyguard or something?” “You owe me,” Hyunjin snaps his fingers in front of Changbin’s nose. “They better go look for another medium. I booked you first, we’ve got a deal. Come on, let’s go.” He stretches massaging his shoulders in a showy manner and extends his middle finger towards the gloomy company for last. Changbin who was trying to process what happened cannot stop smiling and keeps glancing at him for a while. He did not expect that Hyunjin would protect him. To be precise, he did not expect that something like that could happen at all. But it seems like the ghost is too self-sufficient and jealous to let anyone else come close to his host. He thought that the territory was occupied by him and had no intention of sharing whatsoever. They get to the cinema without any other incidents. Changbin buys a ticket for a thriller and realizes that having a ghost companion has its perks. The ghost does not need to buy a ticket neither does he need food. While they are waiting for the beginning Hyunjin checks out other halls to see if there are any interesting films they could watch next time. They enter their hall and sit in the middle but closer to the back. As expected from Sunday there was a lot of people. Changbin turns down the brightness on his phone and comfortably slouches back in the seat munching on popcorn. Hyunjin who was wandering around the projection room comes back seconds before the screen flashes and sits on Changbin’s right. While the advertisements are playing people who got late keep coming in. A young couple is going through their row and instead of passing by a man falls down right on Hyunjin. “Asshole,” the irritated ghost jumps up and throws a fist at him. Changbin covers his mouth with his hand trying hard not to laugh. “Hope you’re not getting laid tonight, fucking dickhead.” Hyunjin spits at him with invisible saliva, pouts and sits on Changbin’s left. The latter almost cackles shaking in his seat. He was so sorry nobody else could see this scene. “The hell are you laughing at? Should I sit on you?” Changbin reassuringly taps the seat next to him where Hyunjin’s knee was supposed to be while still giggling silently. He has never seen anything funnier in his life. How many people accidentally sit on poor ghosts not even suspecting that they exist? It is not painful of course, but falling through the matter of someone’s insides probably is not a nice feeling. Luckily, there were no other newcomers on their row so Hyunjin saved his place. Thanks to his invisibility, he could do whatever he wanted and in the middle of the movie he just laid down putting his feet up on the seat in front of him. All the comments that appeared inside his bright head he verbalized without any filtration aloud. “Why are you coming to her place you dumb fuck? She’s the one who started all that shit,” the ghost jumps up when the main hero does a thing he should not have done. “Right, sure, you deserved that – a fucking chair thrown at your stupid face. Next time you’ll think with your brain instead of your dick.” As soon as the film ends, he emotionally begins to share his impression, without even waiting for Changbin to leave the hall, where he could pretend that he is on the phone. Instead of going home right away, they walk around the neighborhood discussing what they watched. Hyunjin manages to express his thoughts on topic and cheerfully look around catching everything at once with his eyes. He walks around an intricate fountain with statues, runs into an antiques store while Changbin is waiting for his coffee across the street and is generally in the highest spirits. He has never been so excited before. Having quenched his thirst for a change of scenery, Hyunjin in the following days turns out to be quite accommodating and even wakes Changbin up less intrusively allowing him to lay in bed for extra fifteen minutes. Walking together is surprisingly rewarding and helps them get a little closer spiritually. Sitting locked up in between four walls still somehow affected them, pushing them against each other, and in public places they could be together, but at the right distance at the same time. On the next weekend, they go to the cinema again, after which they walk around. They turn onto another street and stumble upon a small art museum where there was an open exhibition to celebrate the autumn holidays. Concluding that they will not lose anything from the free entrance, even if the exhibition turns out to be boring, they decide to go in. There were practically no people in the serene solemnity. Visitors who scattered around different parts of the building were looking at huge paintings dedicated to music. Some canvases depicted magnificent concerts, on some of them there were charming young men and women thoughtfully plucking the strings of huge harps. Hyunjin was not particularly impressed, but he walked down the painting-hung hallway with curiosity anyway. He enters the next room and finds himself directly at the exhibition of musical instruments. He passes by a standard piano and stops in front of a pear-shaped instrument that resembled a guitar. “It’s a lute,” says Changbin quietly when coming closer to him. “I know it without you.” “What’s the difference between a mandola and a lute?” “Well…” Hyunjin frowns as he thinks. “Who cares? Are you an expert?” “Mandola is a type of lute. It’s more compact.” Now the ghost seems intrigued. He tilts his head and looks at his host closely. “Did you google that to show off or do you really know that shit?” “I love music. Lutes are very unusual, old, but recently they’re returning to the industry again. They sound somehow softer and more airy than guitars. They’re over four thousand years old, can you imagine? Even the people of Mesopotamia had played on them. I think it's dope.” Hyunjin widens his eyes, opens his mouth and then smiles approvingly. He sincerely had not expected to see Changbin from that side. The host notices his gaze and lets out a chuckle. “What’s with that face?” “Turns out you’re kinda smart.” “Turns out,” Changbin chortles. “You know what I mean,” Hyunjin casually waves it off. “Respect.” “You know what respect is?” “Fuck you,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes and steps back. “You ain’t gonna hear any complements from me again, pleb.” Despite his words, a minute later Hyunjin decides to get to him again and pokes his fingers at various instruments, asking him to tell something about them. It is not difficult for Changbin, so he digs out all the funniest facts that he could remember out of his mind palace and for that he gets surprised and approving looks. He literally felt like Hyunjin was marking plusses in his mental profile. Apparently, this unexpected side shakes the ghost so much that he does not calm down even at home. In the evening, he sits next to Changbin on the couch and ends up turning away from the book he was reading and waves his hand in front of his eyes in order to get attention. Changbin takes off his headphones and pauses the book's auto-scrolling. “You write music, right?” Hyunjin nods at his laptop. “I saw an opened program. You’re always doing something there.” “I sorta do yeah,” Changbin answers a little distantly. “I’m not doing it professionally. Just dick around and sometimes watch tutorials. It’s just a hobby.” “Let me hear it.” “Why?” “Cause I’m curious, duh.” “You’re gonna shit all over it.” “Why do you think so? And even if I do, I’ll at least do it honestly. Who else’s gonna spit facts right at your face?” He has got a point. Changbin has never met such straightforward people. If Hyunjin does not like it, then he clearly will not play up, but will dissect every piece he does not like. “Okay.” Changbin unplugs the headphones, adjusts the volume and finds the most recent version of the track he wrote in the folder. When clicking the play button he tries not to show that he is nervous. The studio apartment gets filled with an acoustic piano sound with muted echoes in the background and calm beats gradually pouring in. The background melody becomes deeper, sometimes subtle effects slip through, scattering the sound for a few moments. The beats disappear, only the connecting piece is left, and then they reappear with enhanced bass. An old-school chill without sudden changes that does not strain your ears. “Ready for me to shit on you?” asks Hyunjin when the track is finished. “Spit it out.” “Ain’t gonna happen,” he curves his lips with satisfaction. “I don’t wanna admit it, but I liked it.” “An ass like you really liked it?” “I’m serious. The main melody seems to be quite calm, but in the beats you can feel the power. Not even aggression, but some kind of an impulse. This ... I can see how in some windswept field near the mountains someone raps about fatigue, sickness and readiness to build a new reality. That’s something I would add to my playlist.” Changbin looks at him with genuine confusion then rubs his neck and chuckles. He was preparing for the worst, but suddenly he gets flattered instead. “That’s nice to hear.” “You haven’t finished it yet, have you?” “No. I wanna make the bridge smoother and add some more, it definitely needs another verse.” “You’ve got something else?” “There’s one track but it’s more of a trap soul alley.” “DJ, drop the beat.” “You really find it interesting?” “Yeah. I think I knew a thing or two about it when I was alive. I mean I get what you’re talking about and I can even think of possible lyrics that would fit in.” A thoughtful “hmm” gets lost in a mouse click. Changbin did not think he could discuss music with him. No one has ever heard his own tracks, the ghost is the first to give them a try. Changbin turns on the second track and watches his reaction. Hyunjin listens intently, fingers tapping his knee to the beat. In the end, he again gives his approval, however, noting that he liked the first one more. Hyunjin is half-laying on the couch, head tilted to the side. He looks at the instruments in the program, where Changbin is applying different effects to the part he wants to change. Setting the melody to play, Changbin turns and stares at him. Not busy-like and not cocky, he is just laying there relaxed, eyes are slightly closed. One would think that he was sleepy if only he had a need for sleep. A strand of honey hair falls to the forehead, clinging to the eyelashes. Hands are on the couch, knuckles seem like touching Changbin's thigh, but of course they just go right through. Changbin has never seen him like this before. It looks like Hyunjin finally feels at home. Both of them became comfortable.