Messieur (quasi-historical, epistolary)
March 8, 2025 at 1:52 PM
"Messieur,
I have the honour to inform you that you are a scoundrel and a traitor to the interests of the kingdom! Your recent address to the Assembly undermines the foundations of sovereignty and morals! Withdraw your petition to His Majesty, or I shall be compelled to challenge you to a duel! Any place, time, and weapon of your choice. (For your information, the monk residing at my castle predicts by celestial signs that the weather in the outskirts of Annecy shall be sunny, dry, and warm on the Saturday after Ascension, and my friend from the Dubois estate informs me that the apple trees will be in full bloom by that time).
At your service,
X
P.S. Though I cannot help but commend your taste in Castilian and Gascon wines."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dear Sir,
Your tone and complete misunderstanding of the principles that constitute the welfare of the kingdom leave me no choice. I accept your challenge. The Saturday after Ascension suits me well. At dawn, at the bend of Sevre Nantaise river below Clisson. As for the weapons, I would prefer an espada, but, bearing in mind your so-called proficiency with arms, I propose ceremonial swords (provided that you have not yet pawned the ancestral sword of the Ducressy barons).
Yours sincerely,
Y
P.S. And for Heaven's sake, do not be stingy, bring a lamb from your splendid stocks; it shall match perfectly my dry red Ribera del Duero. After all, this is an anniversary, our fiftieth duel."
