The Unwanted One

“Fucking water.” I glanced at the second — and last — empty bottle of apple cider. It wasn’t as hard as the cider I’ve used to get rid of my nightmares — that one was one hell of a drink… Magical effort, a stiff neck, a nasty burning in my horn, and a ceramic bottle floats in front of me instead of a glass bottle. Yes, I polished off the nasty melancholy apathy with a walk through the memory of Nightmare Moon and with a lewd, so to speak, drink — it had — you wouldn’t believe it — 4-5 percent of alcohol… For an alicorn, even two and a half liters of this swill is water. But the memory, unexpectedly, on the contrary, helped me come to my senses a little. Maybe it was the fact that I did not go into the darkness itself — I do not know… It did not tear my soul and was not shocking as usual — it… I just looked at it all — and smiled wistfully to myself: it was lousy, bitter and lonely here and “outside”. Or maybe I’ve managed to get used to it… I shook the container back and forth thoughtfully in front of my eyes and sent it flying with a short jolt. A few seconds later there was a quiet “plop” from below — the bottle has reached its target. I fluffed up the “pillow,” fidgeting, making myself comfortable. The view from here, and the situation itself, should have been fascinating, I suppose, but… there were no emotions. Not a single one. The only thing I wanted is to lay here and no one to disturb me. And you know, laying on water vapor was surprisingly good — for some reason, it didn’t bother much. Comfortable, hard to reach — nice thing. Nothing else matters. Honestly, I don’t even remember how did I come here. I wanted solitude, saw a cloud — and took off. Didn’t even think of what, how… Otherwise I wouldn’t have climbed to such a height! I rolled over onto my back and reclined, spreading wings and covering eyes from the blinding Sun. Nice. And the horn doesn’t stick into anything… No wonder pegasi are so into sleeping on the clouds — or even building homes out of them. Home… How did I even say that? A business trip may be longer than my current life here — and already “home”? And in reference to Rarity’s “Carousel”, where I’ve been living for barely more than a week! On the other hand… From a business trip, from an adventure there’s a place to return to. You can live in a hotel for a year, but there would be ticking timer in your head: “I’ll be home in…” But here — it’s over. There’s nowhere to return to. Even if I kill myself and miraculously get back to my world, it would still be a different life, not the one, where only a grave in the cemetery is left, and people, for whom I would be some unknown stranger… I sighed wistfully and curled up on my side, covering my head with my wing. It’s better to grieve like that… The memory of my homeland, already hollow, was gradually blurring, fading into the background. At times it suddenly seemed unreal… Especially in those moments, when I managed to feel at home here. When we cooked in the kitchen with Rarity and chatted about useless things, about anything and everything, when Sweetie, even if shyly for now, asked me to help draw attention of her infatuated sister — and then laughed, when she saw desperately kicking and terribly indignant Rar, floating down the hallway in the cloud of my magic… Don’t overstay there! Will she sit there hungry with her sketches until the evening? I smiled against my will. Rarity has literally done everything in her power to keep me from feeling like I was a guest in her house in contrast to Twilight. The snow-white, graceful unicorn, who waves money away, who takes other people’s troubles to heart and always tries to help, who likes to complicate and dramatize sometimes — I think, in order to give herself an excuse to forget her diet and eat her beloved ice cream — became my friend in just a week under one roof. Not a close acquaintance, not a buddy, but just like that… And she made her home my… home. A place, where not only you sleep and eat, but also where you are always welcome. Where you can always return to. Rar was already making plans for where to move the workshop, so that I could have a full room… “She’s worried about that, no doubt.” A sudden thought came to me. Sweetie has seen it all, and she’s probably told her sister all about it, but you wouldn’t find me here, if… “N-nightmare, I… Would you mind, if…” I almost fall off the cloud from a quiet, uncertain voice behind my back. Fluttershy?!.. She, to me?!… “Join along, of course.” Hesitating, I replied a bit dazedly, rolling onto my belly and moving aside. “How is Rarity doing, is she really nervous?” “She’s very worried about you.” The pegasus said quietly from under her mane, perching on the edge of the cloud further away from me. “Can you fly to her and say that everything is fine? Just… I just had to be alone.” “Well, if… I could, but, m-m… Of course if it’s a necessity, only…” Flutty whispered from under her mane in quiet panic for some reason. “What happened?” “If it’s possible, I… I’d like to help y-you first…” She tried to become invisible as possible under my wary gaze. Her mane slid a little to the side in the wind, and it was only now, that I noticed a bag with the medical red cross on it. “It’ll heal up by itself.” I waved away indifferently. “Where’s Rarity now?” “D-down. I-I mean, well, on the lake’s shore, here…” Could you say that first?.. I got up, wincing from the wearing, aching pain, that ran down my back, and, not giving myself time on thoughts or looks, I pushed off with my hind legs, stepping into the void and opening my wings. The rush of air hit my face like a dense pillow, forcing me to press ears against my head, stomach bumped into my wings I flapped my wings, leveling myself, and only now allowed myself to look around. Holy shit, it’s more than a hundred meters down!.. Mother, help me… The lake below would fit on a hoof, I could see trees rather by their shadows, the toy houses of Ponyville were a multicolored scattering just to the side… I swallowed the lump in my throat. Wake up, take a good grip! I stretched out my hind legs, that wanted to press against my belly, leveled out the growing list with a couple of flaps of my wings… I barely held on, when a gust of wind hit my side. Leveled out again. I felt a sweat, forming on my forehead, ignoring a steady stream of cool incoming air. Da-amn i-it… The good thing is that my pony eyes don’t care about this mess, and I can see everything normally… Hanging in a downward left turn and occasionally compensating lists, that moved back and forth, and gusts of wind, I didn’t notice, how I descended with nervous tension and a rumbling heart in my temples, the ground started to flash very close beneath my feet. Now! Hit the breaks!!! And!.. The surface hit my hind legs, I extinguished my speed with a couple of leaps, and, settling where I stood, right on the grass, only now finally exhaled. Oh, fuck… What a shame if I’d turn gray after that! You know, I’m a young mare — only a thousand years old, in the prime of life! And gray!.. Wouldn’t find a husband in an eternity!.. I, laughing hysterically, fell onto the grass. “Nightmare, are you alright? Is everything okay?..” Rarity appeared nearby literally from nowhere. “E… Everything is f-fine… Ph-h-h!.. Oh… Rarity-y…” I panted in answer, finishing laughing a bit and dashing the tears away with an elbow, trying to erase the idiotic smile from my face, but to no avail. “I, if… H-h!.. You remember, fly w-worse than a student — and s-such a height…” “Nightmare…” Rar tried to feign dissatisfaction, knitting brows together, but didn’t make it in time: wings flapped a few times — Fluttershy landed nearby. “N-nightmare, are you alright?” She quietly repeated the unicorn’s recent question. “Everything is fine, thanks.” I answered coherently as I recovered myself. I started to get on my feet, but was softly and cautiously stopped by a wing. “B-but you’re wounded! I… If allowed, of course… Could… Well… Help you…” Somewhat determined beginning immediately vaporized into the air under my gaze. Even the wing did so. What a shame: soft, pleasant… “Oh, that would be very helpful, dear Fluttershy. Let me help you!..” Rarity supported the pegasus in a moment, looking at me with a harsh gaze. “It almost doesn’t hurt…” “Nighty, don’t make things up, for Celestia’s sake! Burn and electrical injury — “almost doesn’t hurt”?.. Lay still, dear, please!” What a bunch of mother hens!.. Oh God, what a fucking big deal — got electrocuted. By the way, how? I remember Dash, it came from above… A lightning? Not bad …And, by the way, not a pathetic lightning, since it knocked out an alicorn, which, like pegasi, has a natural resistance to discharges of electricity — they have to fly and fight the thunderclouds. Considering that I almost don’t feel the p… Aah, s-s-s-s! The skin on my withers burned sharply, making me twitch involuntarily. However, the pain and burning were quickly replaced by the pleasant viscous coolness of some ointment, applied to the wound with surprisingly accurate and precise movements of a hoof. The final touch was a big cold sheet of something, as if I had been given a cool compress. “Come to me t-tomorrow during lunch, please, if you can. I’ll c-check everything and anoint it again.” Suddenly, Flutty said in almost command tone. Come to you? Hah, I have been trying this whole week!.. “Definitely. Thank you very much, Fluttershy. And to you, Rar, thanks.” I scooped up the squeaking ponies with magic, put them next to me, and embraced them both, covering the yellow and white backs with my wings. “Oh…” “Nightmare! Mane!!!” Ya-ay, so cool!.. Won’t let you go anywhere now!.. The ponies weren’t in any particular hurry, though, and after a brief stupor, they oriented themselves and snuggled closer to me. M-m-m… No, man, ponies are awesome cuddly creatures! The mood, already somewhat restored to normal during the time of solitude, was now perceptibly rising. Such cute creatures, ponies… And not all of them hate one black-toothed alicorn — there are some who — though I don’t know why — appreciate me, right? I thought about it already, that I’d have to live here now, and I didn’t have much choice… Even so, it’s still not my home. But maybe someday, thanks to ponies like this… “Nightmare, dear, are you alright?” Rarity interrupted my thoughts, shivering a bit and getting comfortable under my huge wing. “I guess…” I replied, shaking my head. “I just… Had to ponder a bit.” “Ponder over what, if you would forgive my incessant inquisitiveness?” “Over myself and my place in this world… that isn’t particularly happy about me.” I replied reluctantly. “N-nightmare, this… Sorry…” Came a whisper from under the other wing. “For what?” “For… For Rainbow. She’s my friend, and… I couldn’t persuade her, that you’re… Well…” Already shaking quiet voice finally turned into almost inaudible rustle. “Don’t beat yourself up, dear!” Rarity insisted to the pegasus. “I’m sure you did everything you could, and furthermore cannot be held responsible for such blatant and outrageous behavior of Rainbow Dash! Just like that — hit a pony with lightning in the middle of a street! Poor Nightmare! This is completely unacceptable!” The indignant unicorn hit the ground with her hoof in anger. “When Sweetie told me everything, I was so worried! I ran as fast as I could, hoping to find you here, just to… just to be near you.” She nuzzled up to my neck gently. “But, to my horror, there was no one here! Oh… Thanks Celestia, I soon met Fluttershy, who, like a true friend and a true Element of Kindness…” Under the other wing there was a quiet squeak of embarrassment. “…Was looking for you here too, to help and support you in your time of need! Flutty, thank you so much!” Rarity looked up from behind me and nodded appreciatively at the crimson pegasus, causing me to smile for a moment. “And I’ll talk to Dash about her monstrous behavior for sure!” She drew a line with palpable threat in her voice, making herself comfortable under my wing once again. “And Nightmare… I’m happy that you’re alright.” “Sorry if I made you nervous.” I sighed quietly. Who am I to you to make you nervous?.. The conversation fell silent, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the peace for some time. The smell of grass and flowers, the light wind, rustling in the branches and leaves, the humming and rattling of insects, the trills of birds… The warmth of a pair of little ponies, laying next to me, warming rather my soul than my body. How much I miss it sometimes, though… This feeling, that you’re not a stranger here and you’re welcome… That you’re… at home?.. “Hey… How did you even find me? And what happened… Well… In general?” I made an indefinite gesture and did it more out of an attempt to change the subject than out of real interest. “Well…” The unicorn took the floor, expectantly. “I didn’t know where to look for you. You like to come here, but when you weren’t here, I… At first I thought you’ve gone into the woods, like that time… I was so scared then…” The mare shivered, as if trying to wrap herself around my wing, and snuggled closer to me. Damn it… It’s a mess if I’m there… “I was about to panic completely, but then something fell into the lake with a loud splash. I looked around, but I didn’t see anyone nearby… And that’s when I turned my attention to the cloud over the lake. Jumping at the chance, that you might have gone private with heavy thoughts exactly there, I jerked my head back to Ponyville, hoping to see a concerned pegasus, who would grant a poor lady her humble request. And fate brought me to Fluttershy, who also happened to be rushing here in hopes of helping you.” Damn, I… “Thank you.” I hugged the ponies tightly again, and, sighing, put my wings away and stood up a little hastily to not get emotional accidentally. Sincere care and concern suddenly touched me deeply… The mares also rose to their feet. Fluttershy — with a touching clumsiness of embarrassment, Rarity — with the grace of a cat. I almost stared… “Let’s go?” I nodded invitingly in the direction of the town, and, letting the ponies move forward, I joined them to the side, giving Flutty a place in the middle. So she wouldn’t run away, heh… “This is how we found you…” The unicorn continued the interrupted conversation. “But I know what happened only by Sweetie’s story.” She shook her head negatively in response to my questioning look. “Fluttershy, honey, you were there, weren’t you?” “Well, yeah… It just happened…” She nodded uncertainly, as if apologizing. “Have you talked to Dash?” I specified, remembering — if I’m correct — seeing them together, when the pause was getting really long. “Oh…” Flutty lowered eyes, blushing rapidly and laying back her ears. “I… I didn’t want to raise my tone at her at all and… And behave so badly!.. B-but Rainbow… It’s not right — you can’t take your bad mood out on other ponies! Even if you don’t like them at all!” The indignation in Fluttershy clearly outweighed the embarrassment and uncertainty. “Dash is extremely hostile to you, Nightmare, but doing something like that?..” Rar shook her head. “What got into her?” “She was pulled out of the complex flying elements competition this morning due to a, well… still healing injury, if I understood everything correctly… And there, um… from what I heard, someone from the panel of judges was supposed to be from… “Wonderbolts”… And Rainbow, she’s, well…” “And Dash has been dreaming of joining their ranks since she was a filly.” Rarity interjected, noticing, that her friend’s social store was beginning to wane. “And quite rightly believes, that for this you have to shine and be noticeable! You can’t get into high society — even pegasi society — just by an accident! Oh… Don’t think I approve of her supremely ugly act, but… I guess I can understand what motivated her. It was The Chance!” The unicorn finished her speech with a hoof to her chest, especially emphasizing the last word. “Yeah, a chance… For the head of Nightmare Moon herself, maybe they could have accepted her…” I chuckled. “Oh!..” “Nightmare! What are you talking, dear? Oh… Rainbow acted horribly, but she would never!..” “Joking. In the old style.” I was in a hurry to correct the situation when I met the frightened look on the snowy pony’s face. Damn, what was wrong this time?.. “Nightmare, please, don’t scare everyone like that again! Flutty, are you alright?” “…!” She squeaked softly from under her mane. Even I couldn’t hear what, but Rar seemed satisfied with that and relaxed a little. “I’ll try to.” I grumbled reluctantly in answer. Damn, again! A-a, fine… So, what about the situation? Our living LGBT symbol just wanted to scratch her bad mood on me, didn’t she? No, she’s certainly not going to die of her own free will…

…

The bell rang familiarly, and I paused as I crossed the threshold, wiping my hooves on the rug. Rarity, while Fluttershy was distracted by the complaints of some bird that flew up to us, asked me to somehow unobtrusively evaporate into the sunset and let her talk to Flutty alone, so that she would stop squirming and fidgeting so blatantly. I admittedly didn’t notice much — she seemed to be acting as usual — but I respected my friend’s request. I suspect, that what Rar wanted to talk to our timid pegasus about was just me… I slowed down, waited for the conversation to start, and quietly slipped off in the direction of “Carousel”. I wonder, of course, what it was all about… “Hello, Nightmare!” I was brought back to reality by Sweetie’s low voice, who must have come out at the sound of the bell. “Are you… Are you alright?” “More or less. Hello.” “It’s good.” Filly smiled shyly. “M, Applejack came here recently, said, that she would wait for you. And I just wanted to give her some tea…” “Thanks, you’re doing great. You can, ehm, go, if you want to — I can figure the tea part out myself, okay?” I said swiftly. No, she is supposed to be able to handle the tea… but I didn’t want to find out. The little unicorn’s bad luck, once she was in the kitchen, was off the charts immediately. Maybe she was cursed or something… Everything that could go wrong with her went wrong! Anyways, she was trusted to cook and wash dishes by Rar only in the most exceptional cases, and I, having seen the consequences, agreed with her on that point. Heck with it… “Okay…” Sweetie prolonged with disbelief. “Then I’m going for a walk. Tell it to Rarity, okay?” On receiving my nod, the filly disappeared at a brisk trot out the door. The bell rang. So, Applejack… “Greetings.” I nodded to the orange mare as I entered the kitchen. “Tea?” “Greetings.” She echoed, studying me with an attentive, thoughtful gaze. “Nah, I’ve come for a couple of words…” “As you wish.” I made sure there was still water in the kettle, put it on the heater. You don’t want it, but I do. I’ll drink it myself. “I understand it, of course, you didn’t have time for it — Sweetie told me a lot of stories already.” The farmer nodded somewhat towards the front door. “But…” “Where’s my money.” I nodded. “How much?” I counted out the amount, slammed the stack of coins onto the table, and pondered. Wait… “Three bottles.” The interlocutor noticed my stupor. “Three? I thought I’ve grabbed only two…” “Am I going to lie to you?” AJ chuckled. “Who knows?” I shrugged with my wings in answer. “Your “Loyalty” can betray others, and absolutely successfully…” “Loyalty? Ya ‘bout Dash? Betray?!” The farmer was quite surprised, not even remembering to be indignant at my suspicions. “Do you know Scootaloo? Big fan of Rainbow, she was her friend, learned to fly from her. And when she befriended me — this is when “Loyalty” became short of loyalty. Sent the little one away with the “it’s her or me” message. And that was it: no study, no friendship.” “Dam’… Rotten h-hay…” She scratched her hat with a loss. “That’s why our Rainbow isn’t herself nowadays: thinkin’ much, gloom, snapping at everypony, telling dirty things 'bout you all out… I’ll talk to her sometime. And yeah… Forgive her for today’s, would ya? She’s a good pony, just… Took a heavy beating, didn’t ya?” I remembered today’s “walk” from memory, and involuntarily shivered. “I’ve had worse.” “In the woods?… Yeah… Fine…” AJ muttered a little disappointed when she met my gaze. She raked the money from the table and got up a little hastily, about to leave, but froze, throwing a begging look at me: “Hey, Nightmare… I know you can forgive… Just don’t kick the crap out of her in revenge, would ya? I promise I’ll talk to her properly, so that she won’t think any more silly thoughts!” “You can try to.” I moved my wing phlegmatically. “You can forgive”, yeah?.. Strange note… But I suspect, that, in principle, she only has thoughts that are either stupid or not at all. Aren’t you afraid to make such promises? “If I screw up, you can hold me to account!” Applejack scowled. The kettle on the stove howled thinly and wistfully on one note. “Look for yourself.” I moved a wing again. “Are you staying for tea or?…” “Nah, thanks. Have to run.” The earth pony shook her head gloomily. “Catch ya. Say hello to Rarity for me.” “Definitely.” Clatter, ring of the bell. “Stop whining already.” I chuckled and pulled the kettle off the heater. I grabbed a tea bowl, that was filled with tea during the conversation, poured boiling water over it, and carefully sniffed the steam that curled over it. M-m… I put the lid on — let it brew — went back to the table, took my purse out of my bag again. After thinking, took out a pencil with a recently purchased large and beautiful notebook. I was tallying up the balance there at my leisure… “Nee-ed mo-ore go-old!” Half a minute later, I stated in a voice as creepy as I could as I studied the contents of the wallet and the records. There wasn’t much left at all. I put the money back, mechanically turned over the page of my notebook, became happy for a moment, that I found such a large and handy one, about A-five format, thoughtfully tapped the tip of my pencil on the pristine blank page. Yes, if I had paid for the whole accommodation and food myself, it would have been enough for three days… Tia, as I remember, promised to subsidize, but in light of her oppressive silence… Sighing, I got rid of the lid on the bowl and, picking it up to the pencil, crawling on the paper, thoughtfully took a sip of tea. It looks like my pictures in dresses on the pages of fashion magazines will appear soon, if this continues to go on. Well, not magazines for lonely stallions, at least — that’s not bad already… The imagination helpfully, in detail, drew Nightmare Moon, looking at the reader from the cover with a promisingly playful look from under the half-closed eyelids, decorated with long lashes, and sensually licking her lips. Wings spread out to the sides, mane spread out on the pillow, between the back legs, draped in snow-white thigh-highs, a pair of buds, tugging invitingly, and a little lower, damply glistening with desire… “Fu-uck!..” I shook my head furiously, feeling my cheeks and ears burning, my heart pounding, my wings sticking out and going dumb sweetly, and a warm, languid heaviness stirring in the lower part of my belly. The thought that it was not some abstract Nightmare, but me, lying in this position and in this “outfit,” licking my lips languidly and showing myself to all comers, gave me a feverish feeling. And the front legs are modestly folded at the chest, contrasting with the invitingly extended hind ones… “D… D-damn it!” Shook my head again desperately, and with difficulty swallowing the lump in my throat, I let out in a hushed voice, realizing, that in another moment of reflection I suddenly did not understand whether I wanted to look at this cover… or pose for it…!. Feel all these stares!.. Attention!.. Adoration!… I bit the hoof till my teeth hurt. How the hell could I have thought of such a thing? I’m!.. That is!.. I shut my eyes tightly, took a few deep breaths. Oh, fuck… Something… I need a shower, yeah… Cooler… I opened my eyes, calming down a bit… “Fucking he-ell!..” I exhaled in frustration, as I lowered my gaze to the table and felt my pulse quickens and my cheeks redden again. On a recently blank sheet of paper was a detailed picture of a figment of my imagination. A full-length self-portrait, damn it!.. In all its natural glory… Fuck, when did I ever?.. Something banged in the hallway. Swallowing a lump, that instantly rose in my throat again, I hurriedly slammed the notebook and hurriedly shoved it back into place along with a pencil. My heart rattled in my temples. Wait… There was no bell. What is?.. Opal peeked cautiously into the kitchen, around the corner from the hallway. She spotted me, ruffled her fur, and turned back in a hurry. Another bang, a silence has fallen. “I’ll fucking kill you, slouching bastard.” I said in a hoarse voice, feeling the tension releases itself and goosebumps marching down my spine. I finished the cold tea in one gulp, cursed with feeling, emptied the old brew, poured the fresh one… “Damn it, damn it!” Only a drop made it out of the kettle — it was empty, shit! I thought there was enough for at least two… I looked at the clock. It sucks… I lost the reality for half an hour — and did not even notice it! I was in a state of prostration, when I tried to pour some water from the kettle, sniffed and rolled eyes. Retard. In fact, I wish I had a thermoelectric pot for four or something like that liters… It’s so stupid to heat it again and again… I got up carefully from my seat, feeling irritated, that my back legs were a little weak and my slightly numb wings were spreading out to the sides. I glanced at the seat — ph-e-ew, it’s dry… I put the kettle under the stream of water and wondered. There is a problem with the body. And I can swear to you — I cannot think of something to fix it. The body seems so hungry after a thousand years of loneliness, and now it wants it. And it reminded me of it, albeit infrequently, as soon as there was a suitable opportunity! And I, even leaving out the question of potential partners, was stupidly afraid to do something about it. Get your hoof and let’s go, one would think, but… Even this causes inner disgust. Am I going to enjoy it like a mare? It was a blow to… to the past, to my old personality, to yet another bridge, linking me to home, finally! Yes, it was stupid, silly, strange, senseless and merciless, but I could not change my mind: I was afraid to take this step, and that’s it! As if to finally agree and come to terms with… changes, I don’t know… And for now it’s me, quietly talking about it to myself. And with partners it turned out to be even worse than I thought at first, when I first started catching myself looking and thinking about stallions… Oh, damn me… I went back to the table and sat down at it, hypnotizing the kettle, crackling on the heater, with my eyes. Mares, as I found out, had a much weaker effect on my body, but I liked them… and I didn’t like them at the same time. The same goes with stallions. Both, when approached in a certain way, were exhilarating… and at the same time, aroused an inner protest. I can understand with stallions, but the ideas about mares, as it turned out, made me feel… disgusting and like a fallen lesbian?.. Nightmare’s twist, as sure as a gun …Being straight by nature, Nightmare — or rather, her part of our consciousness, if there is any point in sorting out what is whose now — was warming up because of stallions, causing displeasure to my part of it. With the mares it was the other way around: my half felt more or less good about it, but the Nightmare’s part was cringing with dislike. Except that “me” was more “less”: the human girls somehow never came into my sight, and the four-legged horses were of little interest in this regard. But there were plenty of stallions around, and the Nightmare’s part was happy to make stand on them. Stand with folded front legs and with the tail moved to the side, damn it… Ah, what a… Abyss damned me… The kettle whimpered longingly, forcing me to rise with a sigh. What’s this tea to me now? I need something stronger…

…

“I’m home!” Rarity’s melodious voice announced her arrival at the same time as the bell rang. I hummed, and put the long-empty bowl on the table, which I twisted mechanically in front of my ass under complicated and sad thoughts, under “my own, mare’s things”. At last there would be a reason to distract from all this, because it all started… A-a… “Are you here, Nightmare?” The unicorn asked semi-confidently as she peered into the kitchen. “Yep.” I saluted her with a hoof. “Sweetie has gone to a walk — asked me to say to tell you. And also hi from Applejack.” “Thanks.” She smiled with the edges of her lips. “Please, put the kettle on, would you?” I nodded silently and saw the mare off in the direction of the stairs, reluctantly got up, grabbed the kettle, and put it under the stream of water. Soon it was bubbling quietly and crackling with drops of water on the heater. “Well, how are you, dear? For you it wasn’t the best day, I guess…” Rarity entered the kitchen, bringing with her the subtle scent of floral soap. “I feel nothing.” I waved away half-heartedly. “You wouldn’t believe it, but your painted one with her tricks almost didn’t even anger me for some reason. I had a thought, that a lightning would be very fitting to my mood right now…” “What happened, Nighty? Something bothers you? I think you noted about your thoughts of your place in the world? Thanks.” With an appreciative nod, the unicorn accepted the tea, placed in front of her. “Yep, and about this as well…” I mechanically arranged myself opposite her. Except that it’s not for other people’s ears. Not even for yours, Ice cream, though I think you could understand me — or at least try to… “Something very personal, isn’t?” With a touch of disappointment in her voice, Rar correctly interpreted one-word answer. “I’m sorry if I reminded you of something… Just know, that you can rely on me if the need arises.” “Thanks.” My heart ached. Maybe I’d tell you someday, Ice cream, but… Why and for what purpose would I do it now? No one wants it for sure. And neither do I. “How badly does it hurt?” Meanwhile, Rarity stood up from the table and came over to me to examine my back. Well… It stings a little, but because of that thing with the ointment, I almost don’t notice it. It only pulls at the fur, damn it…” “Seemingly, there wasn’t something really bad. Though Sweetie did mention that you fell after the blow… Oh, my dear, how strong it was to hurt you, an alicorn!” “And after that, you’re still going to deny the idea of giving the “Wonderbolts” leadership my head as payment for joining?” I laughed a bit. “Nightmare!..” The unicorn gave me a look of utter indignation. “My lips are sealed.” I raised my front legs as a sign of surrender and, unable to stand it, burst out laughing. “You’re unbearable!” The snow-white pony rolled her eyes, turning away and heading back to her seat at the table. We drank tea in silence for a while. Or rather, Rar drank, while I pondered painfully: should I keep her company and pour myself another one, or have I had enough? “Oh…” The suddenly darkened unicorn put her tea aside. “I just realized you won’t be able to try on the first dress yet! I mean, it still needs a little work, but I’ll finish it tomorrow. Oh, it’s gorgeous! And it will go so well with your fur! And the stone trim is the color of your eyes!..” “Won’t be able to?” Now I understand why. But if I don’t slow her down now, she’s going to kill me with stories about styles and all sorts of design features… “Your wound…” Rar sighed. “I don’t think you’ll be comfortable and nicely wearing anything until it’s healed. And, by the way, take your bags off, please, and try not to wear them yet either. The back strap doesn’t get on the wound, but it’s very close and could cause irritation or chafe! Let me help you. “ The mare lit her horn before I could object and unfastened my breast belt buckle with a masterful manipulation, instantly pulled my “equipment” off me, carefully placing it on the side of the table. The spine of a notebook crawled out of the unzipped bag and a pencil rolled out onto the table, only to be caught by a blue cloud of magic and moved back to the notebook. “And what was that?” “A little bit of care.” Rarity smiled, but, darkening, sighed in response to my dissatisfied look: “Sorry if I let myself go too far, Nightmare.” “A-a…” I waved away. “You’ve allowed yourself so much in all those fittings, that you can hardly humiliate me, an alicorn, sinister Nightmare Moon, any more than you already had. Well, unless you dress me up in this and make me wear it for the spectacle-hungry crowd of laborers and farmers!” I answered in a slightly whining tone of a wounded and disgraced aristocrat, hiding my face behind my wing. However, with the accepting of the fact, that I’m an alicorn, and I’ve spent some time in the skin of a Princess — even though it had been Luna — it’s not far from the truth… As well as the “aristocrat” thing, and the “disgraced” thing, with all those damned dresses… “Nightmare, dear…” The unicorn prolonged with a half-joking reproach. “First of all, you’re not sinister, unless you’re trying to be! Or when you’re joking…” She added under her breath to herself. “Secondly, although it sounded very natural, but knowing your attitude to the aristocracy… I’m sorry, but farmers and workers, such as I technically belong to, for example, you obviously like much more! The only thing I believe in here is your unapologetic “THI-IS” to my gorgeous dresses! And I, alas, am completely unable to understand why…” Milliner sighed, summing up. “Do you really don’t like them that much? They’re awful? Ugly? Gaudy and disgraceful? Disgusting?..” Rarity suddenly began to dangerously run rampant. Now she’ll convince herself of that and run off in tears to destroy her “terrifying” creations… “It’s not about them, but about me…” I mumbled, causing her to lose her mind and let me speak with a slight flash in front of her eyes. “Really?..” She blinked confusedly. “You mean they’re not ugly or horrible or disgusting, are they?” “I do.” I sighed. “Then why?!.. I tried so hard to make them fit you perfectly! For you to be like a real… Princess in them! The Queen of the Beauty! I even used more durable and sturdy fabrics to add to their practicality where it was possible! Nighty, what have I done wrong?!..” “I… Don’t like dresses — that’s all.” I panted shyly, feeling like a monster. “Not these, but in general. Well, in and of themselves!” “But you offered that yourself…” Designer said with a loss. “I did. Because trashing the house and bruising the one, who took me, and owing for it is the same hated by me thing as the dresses.” I muttered. “Then I won’t finish anything.” Rar said sullenly. “I’m not going to take advantage of my friend’s difficult situation! And you don’t owe me anything!” You’re out of your mind, my friend… “Are you trying to insult me? I’m not going to take advantage of my friend’s situation either, you know!” We looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. “And you… you are ready to do it for… For me?” The unicorn shyly and suddenly asked, hiding her gaze. “And for myself as well. I don’t like to owe someone.” I chuckled a bit gloomily. “Well, then… then I’ll try to make these dresses so incredible you won’t want to take them off!” Lifting her gaze with a smile, Rarity’s eyes flashed a little maniacally. I cautiously stepped back. Oh, man. Something’s coming… “And by the way, Nightmare… Since you agree to go on — what cut shape did you choose for the stones on the third dress? Remember when I drew the options?” Huh? Oh, shit, that’s right, I promised to look at it… Hesitating with the answer, I didn’t immediately notice how the milliner picked up my notebook and started going through it quickly. Ehm?.. Oh, yeah, she was sketching in it — nothing else was under her han… damn it! The drawing!!! “Look, let’s loo… k… afterwards…” I tried to object, but I was too late: the pages had already stopped running, and the unicorn’s muzzle and ears were blazing crimson. Fucking shi-it… “Y-yeah-yeah, of c-course…” She nodded with a twisting look as she hurriedly slammed the notebook shut and put it aside. Fuck.

…

Oh! Beautiful! I turned off the water and, after standing like that for a few seconds, I magically picked up a couple of towels at once. One on the left, one on the right, and let’s go! I’m practicing my separate control of different objects at one time a little. It’s hard, damn it! It was easier to make different movements with my hands at the same time, but it’s hard to not get confused there, too… Head… Yeah! Mane… Neck… Wrap towels around front legs, up-do-own, up-do-own… Back… Chest and the frontal part of the belly… Sides… Synchronously, back and fo-orth… Wings, my beloved… A-ah… Croup… Hind legs, outside… Tail… Painful pause, ears pressed reflexively. I sigh through my teeth, inner thighs, lower abdomen, under my tail, trying to push as lightly as possible. Damn it… After… today’s thing, I confess, I wondered under the shower about that “get your hoof and let’s go” thing… But the sizzling and languid sensation of the first touch instantly removed any resolve to continue and go further. Hell, I know that I can’t get away from my current… constructive peculiarities, that I still have to get used to them somehow, and… Man, I can’t do this at all! It’s so, I don’t know… Unnatural! Not the way it should be! Not right! I!.. A-a, fucking hell… And what should I do, huh?.. Tough shit… All I could do was turn on the colder water to come to my senses and try to forget about this, about my thoughts, and about my stupidity with the fucking drawing… I’m so dumb, that I drew such shit, and then managed to light it up! I forgot all about Rar’s sketches… Why didn’t I just burn it to ashes, huh? And what’s Rar thinking about now, when she still acts as usual? Shit, shit!.. I just cooled down a bit and calmed down… That’s it! No more of these thoughts for today. No more, fucking cunt! I snorted unhappily, threw off the towels, and climbed out of the bathroom, tapping my hooves on the tiles. Done, the horse has been washed. I chuckled involuntarily. I looked in the mirror, grimaced, wiped with one of the towels, rid the shiny surface of the solid gray veil of condensation. Well, my mane and tail were a pair of disheveled, damp sponges as usual, but otherwise — no worse than usual. I looked at the face in the mirror, showed a pile of snow-white fangs, made a face — just to cheer myself up a bit — and laughed. Okay, enough of fooling around. I have been gone in the bathroom already for at least an hour… Yeah, I got lucky with Rarity in this regard, very lucky! She’s a bit of a sybarite and likes scale and comfort — otherwise I wouldn’t fit in that bathtub. When I remember Twi’s boat in the corner of a tiny room… Oh no, heck with it! Make me forget that… And here you have a whole castle! A huge bathtub for an ordinary pony, set in a recess, so that you could splash around and not drown the whole room, and it hasn’t been squeezed in a corner, but in the middle, perpendicular to the wall — so you can unfold your wings without a problem. Nice! A huge mirror, shelves filled with batteries of bottles, a large sink. It’s a little low for me, but what can you do? And it’s not too bad, unlike the toilet… I sighed. That’s where the evil is! No, the pony’s toilet was smartly designed: it suited my anatomy well, had adequate controls, was equipped with a bidet, which was almost mandatory in Equestria — the only way to find a toilet without one was going to the middle of nowhere — and, in general, was quite comfortable… For a pony that was one and half or two times shorter than me! And my usage of it… Yeah… What an unfortunate turn of events. And even more, damn it… And how much “fun” it was in those days, when I wore the ring on my horn… No, my anatomy — to my surprise — allowed me to reach what I needed to, and the bidet was not for beauty… when I finally remembered about it! “On the forth day the Eagle Eye noticed, that the prison lacks of a wall”, damn it… And before that… I shivered. Gymnastics, God damn it… Noticing, that I’ve been staring blankly in the mirror for a solid hour, I shook my head, whipping my face with the wet mane and sniffed, hastening to the exit, throwing both towels on the dryer beforehand. “Nightmare, my sister called you, she’s downstairs in the store!” Sweetie looked out of her room, having returned from her walk to the evening. “And… Can I brush your hair later?” I hid the smile with a tilt of my head. “If it’s not too late. Otherwise, it would have to wait until tomorrow.” “Yay! Okay, thank you!” The filly smiled enthusiastically and disappeared back into her room. Yes, Rar kept me from losing my hum…pony face by periodically doing my hair, so I wouldn’t embarrass everyone in public, I guess… How can I live with such a fashionable and neat pony and walk like a scarecrow? I’ve learned a few things on my own, of course, but it’s little things, like combing my hair so it doesn’t stick out too much, making a ponytail with a rubber… I can put my tail in a ponytail, too. I grinned briefly. So, anyway, somehow, Sweetie saw it and, unable to resist, rushed to help. Her perfectionist sister wouldn’t even let her touch herself, and she could see the chance right in front of her! And, it must be said, the little unicorn was doing quite well, even taking into account the fact, that she was not able to do telekinesis due to age, and worked with teeth and hooves, and with alicorn taller than she is in four or even five times. She was fine, as long as I was lying down… Everyone was happy with the result: Rarity saved time and didn’t have to grind her teeth over my “egregious” crimes against appearance, and I walked more or less neatly and saved time, too, instead of moaning in front of the mirror for an hour, trying to get the brush out of my mane again. And Sweetie got an outlet for her bubbling enthusiasm and typical girlish desire to embellish someone, and she was just unspeakably happy, and recently she even thought about a cutie mark of a stylist or hairdresser. Meanwhile, in the store, life was going on in its own, gradually subsiding with the coming evening: Rarity was discussing something with a pony I didn’t know, and another pegasus was looking at the dresses and asking the price in a vaguely familiar… uniform? Damn it, I know it! The Royal postal service! Or what’s their name?.. And the pegasus is known for me: “The monochrome one”, from the couple that brought me some time ago the glaive and the Luna’s letter about the meeting. With a chuckle at the last thought, I headed towards the delivery pony. It’s probably the reason Rar has summoned me anyway. “Nightmare! A letter for you from the Castle itself!” My appearance did not go unnoticed. I stopped my gaze at Rar. It seemed, that after the drawing… Ah, damn… But no. We never touched on the subject all evening. She looked the same as always, looked the same as always… She made no gestures, facial expressions, or anything else, that could shed some light at her attitude towards what happened, though I did catch a couple of her thoughtful glances… “This worthy pony wished to pass it exclusively to you personally in the hooves!” The boutique owner, meanwhile, confirmed my suspicions with a nod towards the pegasus. The earthpony visitor, with whom Rarity has been chatting, turned pale and flattened her ears at my appearance, stared at coming me with wide-open eyes and swallowed loudly as the white-haired unicorn laughed softly and started to calm her down and tell something to her quietly. The messenger also hesitated for a moment, but she quickly gathered her wits and came closer to me. “Miss Nightmare Moon, you have a message from Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!” “The monochrome one” took the envelope out of the bag with a polished movement, bowing shortly. “I was told to wait for your answer.” She added as soon as I took the letter. “Thanks.” I nodded to the mare. “I’ll write it now.” “Let’s go, I’ll regale you with tea. Surely, the flight wasn’t easy!” Rarity came to us a little bit upset, if I’ll judge by her look. “But the store… And… Nothing hard, miss! I could just…” The courier tried to fight back. “My last visitor left us rather hastily, and it’s evening — and so soon to close.” The unicorn smiled to her. “Let’s go, dear! I won’t accept any objections!” Leaving the mares to argue — however, there’s no way out for the monochrome one — I went upstairs. Cadence, yeah? Interesting…