…
“…And went to Kill Luna. What other options did I have? It’s now, that I have come to my senses and I’m trying to think, but back then… I just lived with the thought, the feeling, that if I just did this, everything would get better! The memories she was guilty of would be dulled, the nightmares would disappear, the constant feeling of threat would disappear, the… fear would disappear.” “But why didn’t you… Well…” Rarity hesitated, listening to my story, forgetting about the ice cream, which was slowly turning into a milkshake. “She didn’t fight me. She didn’t even take a weapon. She just came, put her neck and said: “Sorry! You can do whatever you please”. It’s a far cry from the image I described, isn’t it?..” I chuckled sadly, looking at the empty tea bowl. “You were right, when you said, that I didn’t see what was there, but what I wanted to see. I believed she deserved to be punished, she was standing in front of me, she was in my power, and I… I never found the strength to just hit her. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because I had seen absolutely a different pony, than I’d imagined, or maybe I just didn’t have the courage to do this… I don’t know. And then, when I was walking back, I, probably, wondered for the first time: what’s next? You know, right? I did not even think about it! I didn’t think about it at all! I kill her — and then it just depends. And if I don’t — I’ll die, and it won’t make any difference!” I got up, walked back and forth and stopped at the window. “And now there was time and reason to think To think, and suddenly realize, that the heartless beast I saw before me was not Luna, but the reflection in the mirror. Celestia believed in me, and I went to kill her sister without even trying to find other options…” I closed my eyes and pressed an eyebrow against the cool glass. “But why did she let me live?..” “Because you’re not evil, Nightmare.” She pressed trustingly against my side. “You… You were lost, and you made a mistake-and Her Highness saw it.” “Not every mistake can be forgiven.” I cringed and leaned my other eyebrow against the glass carefully to avoid hitting it with my horn. “Celestia didn’t even say goodbye to me this time. And she… She really was my friend, and I… And I, as it turned out, let her down. Here we are. “Don’t worry. I’m sure everything will be alright between you.” Rarity promised — thought without much of enthusiasm. “I hope so.” I moved away from the glass, sighing. “Thanks for listening to all of this.” “And I’ll be, dear.” The unicorn assured me seriously. “Just don’t be silent yourself. Don’t let the dark thoughts get a grip on you. Okay?” “Yeah, I think so.” I chuckled. “If you say so, doctor.” “I will tell you, that I prescribe you a beautiful dress, a hat and a trip to the spa! To combat depression!” Rarity glared menacingly, but after a few moments of appreciating the look on my face, she poked me in the shoulder with her hoof and laughed, making me smile weakly afterward.…
Go-o-od… I closed my eyes leisurely and listened halfheartedly to Rarity’s voice, excitedly recounting the latest Ponyville news, and resting my soul. And I got the thing out of my chest — it became a little bit easier… It wasn’t the first time, but it still feels like a revelation. “Holy crap, it helped! Who could have guessed!” I smiled. It’s kind of cozy… Of course, it’s fun to be feared by everyone, but you can’t feel that warmth in such surroundings. And no one will close the store for you in the middle of the day — because of you, maybe… “Thanks, Rarity.” “For what?” The unicorn stopped mid-word. “For everything. Just… Just for everything. If I can do something for you — just say it, alright?” “It’s nothing, dear. It’s not hard for me…” “Not hard to even close the store, dismissing the customers and losing money?” I arced my brow in doubt, opening eyes. “Oh, it’s really a nothing.” Rar waved away carelessly. “Especially for a friend.” “Friend”, yep… I’m like that Soviet vacuum cleaner to her: “Big, loud noise, one drawback: it doesn’t collect dust”, and I’m a “friend…” The bell rang, interrupting my unformed objections and making Rarity sigh unhappily. “Sorry, Nightmare. I’ll go see who’s there?” “Of course.” I nodded after a moment, realizing, that the unicorn wasn’t going anywhere, waiting for my reaction, and stared at the mare as she moved towards the exit in a loss. It’s… Strange… Half a minute of muffled conversation behind the wall, and there on the kitchen doorstep was… Pinkie?! As usual, pink, with an unusually straight mane, a sheaf of blue, azure, purple, and silver balloons on her right front leg, and a box of what appeared to be cake on her back. What is she?.. “Nightmare, I’m so sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry!!!” The pink rocket bumped into me — I wasn’t even that fast to open my mouth. The world turned upside down, the floor knocked the air out of my lungs, and my ribs crunched miserably in an unexpectedly powerful embrace. “A-a… Ph! Pink-h-ie! Pah!” Choking for a moment, I tried to spit from the long, smooth hair in my mouth. “Sorry!!! I!… I!…” The embrace loosened, and the fur on the back of my neck began to get wet. “I t-old you so-o mu… Mu-uch! I!… I didn’t kno-ow! I didn’t wa-ant!!!” I finally remembered about the horn, and used telekinesis to get rid of the mane on my face. My head was empty of thoughts — a rumbling emptiness and a pang inside, a lump in my throat… As the stream of inconsolable tears and incoherent apologies turned into sobs, Rarity, who has been standing tactfully on the sidelines, approached us. “Pinkie came to me that day and told me what happened at the market.” She said quietly, looking at the two of us sympathetically. “I understood why it happened.” The unicorn sighed, frowning, her eyes casted at the floor. “But Pinkie was so angry… I was so emotional, I told her all about our fight and you… The poor mare was restless all this time, especially when you refused to listen to her…” Yeah, Twilight came to me the day before the memorial parcel and said something about Pinkie — I sent her straight to hell, Pinkie as well, and everyone else. I didn’t want to see or hear from anyone — I was so fucked up… “And when Her Highness Princess Celestia and Her Grace Princess Mi Amore Cadenza took you to Canterlot… You can’t imagine how bad she felt, Nightmare. She almost rushed over there to help you out — we had to stop her… Please, forgive her! Pinkie really didn’t mean to hurt you so cruelly!” I sighed and swallowed the lump in my throat with an effort, while at the same time catching myself, mechanically stroking the pink back of the pony sprawled across me, still sobbing on my chest. Damn it… I… A-a, heck with it… “Do you know how much it hurt to hear that from the pony, who first came to me and supported me?” I said quietly, causing a convulsive sob. “But… But the Abyss will swallow me up if I… It’s all right, Pinkie. It’s all right…” I was touched by the pink pony’s sincere and somewhat desperate remorse. “R-really?..” She lifted her head and stared at me with her tear-filled, big blue eyes. “Really.” I let out a smile, feeling my eyes burn. A-a, damn… The only thing I need is to cry as well… “Thanks!” My ribs crunched again in a no-holds-barred hug. “I’ll never ever say something like that! And will never think of that! Cross my heart and hope to fly — stick a cupcake in my eye!” She waved tears from her eyelashes, made some kind of gesture, and, rubbing her face trustingly against my neck, rolled to the floor, giving me my freedom. Damn, I was just now noticing, that the box of cake was on the table, and the balloons were floating around, tied to her leg with a neat bow. How and when?!.. And by the way: why hasn’t our party-pony’s mane changed?.. “Hey, Pinkie… Your mane?..” I tried to articulate. “I, it’s… I made it for you.” she seemed a little embarrassed. “Remember, you suggested it? I thought you might like it.” Ehm… When did you do it? “She was at the spa before she tried it the first time.” Rarity answered the unspoken question. “Said she would go to there until you forgave her.” “Ph-a! Like it’s a torture or something.” I grumbled. “It looks great!” “Really?” She doubted. “I’m happy you liked it! I just used to go to the Stone Farm like that… No, it was great, don’t get me wrong! It was just so-o bo-o-oring.” “It really suits you, Pink. Doesn’t it, Rarity?” “It’s a bit unusual.” The unicorn stated. “But with the right outfit, it would be stunning!” “I think it’s already great without the outfit. Oh, and by the way, there’s the cake, right?” I decided to move off the dangerous topic of dresses and outfits before it started. “Yep!” The earthpony smiled shyly. “My left ear itched this morning, then my tail twitched and my eyes stung — a sure sign, that I should apologize! “Before Nightmare!” I thought, so I baked it. And I found the balloons, do you like them? I thought you’d either go to Twilight’s or Rarity’s, and then I thought you probably wouldn’t need Twilight’s, so I went to Rarity’s, and there you were!” “I recognize Pinkie Pie.” I thought and couldn’t hold a smile. “I’ll put on the kettle.” Rarity nodded. “Take a seat!” I got myself back on my feet, walked over to the table, and opened the box. Under the lid was a cake, made of black-purple-turquoise array, with the only pink detail — the sad face of Pinkie herself — and the inscription “Forgive me, Nightmare.” which was made of something I didn’t even know: the letters sparkled like stars in the sky… And it smelled like… blackberries. Where the hell did she take it from?.. Ah, Pinkie… My eyes were tingling again. A thought came to me, that Luna must had been begging for forgiveness at the castle, just as desperate and sincere in her own way. I shook my head angrily, banishing the irrelevant thought. Fuck it! That’s exactly who I don’t care about anymore! About Pinkie… I walked over to the anxious pink pony and silently embraced her with a wing. And she nestled trustingly against my side.…
I walked down the middle of the street and couldn’t get rid of the smile on my face. I didn’t want to — it was almost a festive mood, and the fact, that I was going to apologize again couldn’t shake it. Passersby didn’t share my joy, but that only made my smile wider: shake if you want, cowards — I don’t care, to put it mildly, because there are other ponies in Equestria, who don’t see me as just a scarecrow, and I have great relationships with these ponies! Yea-ah… And what a hell of a cake Pinkie did!… No, man, her lack of a horn doesn’t prevent her from reading minds, that’s for sure! Of course, I’ve tasted her sweet treats before, but it was like she made this cake specially for me!.. Ahem, yeah… Not over-sweetened, made of slightly crunchy, crumbly crusts… With blackberry jam.! Da-amn!.. I think Pinkie and Rar got only one piece of that!.. Maybe two… We talked about this and that, of course… Together at first, until when Rarity, with a thousand exquisite apologies, went to work, leaving Pinkie and me alone. She apologized again, and then I told her what had happened… which almost made Pinkie hysterical: she was so wound up that it was her fault that I did it… Oh, silly little pink horse… While I calmed her down — I shed a tear myself… But it’s okay: we had some cake — what was left of it by then — with tea — a sweet cake and four teaspoons of sugar! Pinkie, holy cow!… Well, we recovered. Pinks told me what had happened in Ponyville from her point of view, remembered some funny stories… When and how the conversation turned again to the events of the day and to Gilda, I honestly didn’t understand. And Pinkie, hugging me and obviously picking up words, carefully tried to make the point, that she understood everything, but it was too much. I don’t know what she would have made of it had she not, in fact, quoted my own thoughts on the subject… Surprised her, it seems — and, I think, pleased her quite a bit. Generally, I left “Carousel” at that point, leaving slowed Pinkie to discuss some outfits with Rar and heading towards the hospital. I feel it in my gut — Pinkie wanted to say something about Luna, but… “M-miss N-Nightmare!” I was suddenly called out in an uncertain voice by some stallion. Why would one be eager to talk with me?.. It’s even interesting… I turned to the voice: a short elderly stallion of light brown color, dressed in a bowler hat and with square intellectual glasses on his face, from behind the glasses of which the bright yellow eyes looked at me with carefully suppressed fear. “Greetings.” I nodded shortly. “I’m listening.” “Good Remedy, pharmacist, miss… Ehm… Missus…” He hesitated. “Don’t “miss.” I cringed for a moment. “Just “Nightmare” or “Nightmare Moon”.” Or whatever you like, but without “miss”!” “F-fine, lady Nightmare!” He smiled nervously. “Lady”. Still found the way to remember, yeah? Well, at least it doesn’t sound that bad… Fine. “I’m listening.” I repeated. “Can I ask you: haven’t you found two packs of s-some medicine the ot-ther day?” The pony voiced his purpose of the visit nervously. “You can, why not?..” I mused for a few seconds. I wondered, too, where Scoot got the pills from… And there were two packs… That seems to be the answer. I only wonder what he’s trying to check? “Sedatives, I don’t remember their names… Two boxes of two blisters of six pills, four days ago. Or five?.. Are you about them?” “Phe-ew.” The pharmacist clearly relaxed. “So you didn’t lie…” “Can you tell me the details?” I squinted. “Of course! But can you tell me something else… Is Scootaloo really your… friend?” Well, not really a friend, I guess… Just trying to help each other out sometimes… “Yes.” “It’s, of course… It’s just a little bit hard to believe.” The stallion smiled nervously, but checked himself immediately: “Don’t get me wrong, I’m just…” “Details.” “Ah, yes… Sorry…” The earthpony adjusted his hat and glasses, took a few breaths, gathering his thoughts… “She robbed me.” The interlocutor said when I just opened my mouth to hurry him up. “Ehm… What?.. How?!” Holy shit… I expected all sorts of things — but certainly not this… “First she came and begged me, saying she really needed it, and she’d give me the money later. Of course, I know her father and she’s not exactly a filly, but… I can’t put that kind of medicine in a kid’s hooves, you know? It’s dangerous! Besides, Snap Shutter always bought it himself. And you know how fillies love to try all kinds of colorful sweet pills! And this is no joke at all!..” Nothing’s new in the world, yep… And Snap Shutter… Isn’t he Scoot’s dad? Or are they different ponies? I can’t remember, man. If so, what’s the story with him, I wonder? “You, of course, turned her down.” I interrupted the pharmacist, who has gone to the third round. “What happened next?” “A? A, next… Then she wandered around the pharmacy for a while and left, to come in the evening, just before closing. I was distracted by a customer and did not even have time to understand how and when this little robber managed to be behind the counter and flipped in a bag from the shelf a few boxes, including those two! I rushed to catch her, but it was no use.” The pony waved it away hopelessly. “She slipped under the counter like a cat and almost knocked my unfortunate customer off her feet and disappeared behind the door. And it’s evening, it’s getting late, I have to close — will I go after her?” Scoot, scoot… I don’t have words to describe it. I do not know whether to admire or to worry? “And the next morning she came herself. She gave me everything she had raked from the shelf… Except for these sedatives, damn them. To my shame, I couldn’t help it, I yelled at her… But she insisted: “I’ll pay later! And the pills — it’s not for me, it’s for my friend, the Mare in the Moon! She really, really needs it!” I couldn’t believe it, sat there like on pins and needles, yesterday I thought about going to the guards… But I didn’t. But today, to my surprise, I saw you, so I decided to ask you directly.” Good ended his story with a sigh. What a story. “And I guess, that you already knew her?” I asked semi-affirmatively. “A bit. I knew her father, Snap Shutter, quite well at one time…” Uh-huh, it was his name after all. Is he addicted if he bought them “himself”?.. “…But we don’t talk much now…” The pharmacist sighed, pulling off his hat and studying it with a gaze, full of wistful thoughtfulness. “Snap hasn’t been around too much since then… But… I’m sorry, but I probably shouldn’t talk about it.” He shook his head and put his hat back on with a decisive movement. “If you’re really friends with Scootaloo, she’ll tell you herself… if she wants to.” Damn, that’s tough luck. And I don’t want to pressure him either… He’s got a right to do that. The only question is, I’m not sure if I want to ask Scoot about it. The story there, from the hints I’ve heard, isn’t the most positive… “In any case, thank you for reassuring me, at least in part.” The pony smiled uncertainly as he tried to look me in the eyes, but then looked away. “And sending a kid…” “If I only knew what she was up to…” I sniffed. “She just said she knew a 'reliable thing' and was willing to get it, kiddo… She got it, yea… How much do I owe you, by the way?” “T-twelve for a pack.” Good named the price, hesitating. I silently pulled out the wallet with my telekinesis and counted out twenty four roundels, handing them to my companion in a compact pile. He put his hoof into the pile and literally magnetized it all at once. Strong… “Here’s more, for troubling you.” I poured five coins on top of it. “Thank you.” The pharmacist emphasized a short bow, pouring the money into one of his bags, slung over his back. “Also, if you’ll excuse me… You shouldn’t use this medicine as a 'reliable thing' for more than a week. Three days are already a bad thing… You’re an alicorn, but keep yourself healthy!” I raised a brow in a slight surprise. “You’re not the only one who… “gets” this drug without a prescription for such a purpose.” The earthpony said sadly in a low voice. “Fortunately, not many have to ruin their health just to get some sleep. I hope you can get over the cause of your nightmares, too, so they stop bothering you. Well… thank you for your time, good-bye!” Good Remedy lifted his hat as he said goodbye and, receiving a nod in return, went on his way. “get over the cause of your nightmares”, you say? But how, I’d like to know, do you deal with it, if it is your own memory?…
It was not for nothing that after talking to the pharmacist I decided, in the hope of crossing paths with Scootaloo, to take a detour past the school — I thought to myself as I listened to the interesting dialog in high tones, gradually approaching its source: a group of fillies, who seemed to have only just finished their lessons. “…Not true! She is not like that!” The orange pegasus' familiar voice rang out like a string about to burst. “You forgot the word “was”, blank flank!” The mockery in the manners of her voice made those around her laugh offensively. “She is not “was”! She’ll come back, you’ll see!..” “Of course she’ll be back… After another a thousand years!” I rolled my jaw, when I heard the new outburst of amusement. You haven’t heard the news in your classes, have you been self-affirming? Maybe I should teach Scoot how to fight, so that any such attack would end up in the hospital?.. Except, what’s the point of beating them, if you remember the canon… It’s the parents, that need beating, not them… “That’s n-not t-true! She!.. She!..” “She is a criminal, ha-ha-ha-ha! And you will be as well! Oh, I think you’ve got a cutie mark! A bandit’s mask!” Shit man, I’d like to fucking kill her. When I could finally see it, the composition I saw was Scootaloo, who was ready to cry, drooped Apple Bloom behind her, Tiara and Spoon, circling around like sharks, and several other students in a semicircle with their backs to me, who were more like mere observers. Sweetie Belle was hesitating a little further away. She’s noticed me first, but they didn’t pay attention to her thin voice, and realized something was wrong only when my shadow loomed over the group. “Fear as the devil fears the holy water.” I chuckled wryly as I glanced at the foals, which have vanished faster than their own frightened cries. Not everyone: those. who were supposedly “for Scootaloo” — Sweetie and Apple Bloom — remained, only running a little farther away and now watching with mild apprehension as events unfolded. Silver Spoon has also stayed, with no choice but to hang in a cloud of my magic and, having jerked ineffectively at first, now try to shrink into a point out of fear. “Nightmare!!!” Scoot threw herself at me like a lightning bolt, hugging me trustingly where she reached — by my right front leg — and immediately bouncing back, rapidly changing color to red. I couldn’t hold it and smiled. “Hello, Scootaloo.” “Hello to you…” She held out her hoof in embarrassment to greet me. “I was… I didn’t have time to slow down a bit…” The little one mumbled unconvincingly, averting her gaze. “Mm-hm.” I clapped her hoof with mine, while trying to show her with a nod, that I believed her, but my lips only parted in an even broader smile. Eh, Scoot… Reacted to me with such a reaction… “I really just miscalculated a little!..” The little pegasus looked around with her ears pressed down in a hunted way. Yeah, there were plenty of witnesses to the “indelible shame” around us: besides Bloom and Sweetie, there were a few other students, who had the courage and curiosity to come back and see what was out there. And, most importantly, Silver Spoon was still hovering nearby, even if she was still shrunken and frightened. “You’ve already miscalculated once,” I let my arrogance to creep into my voice. “And you haven’t paid me back since, mortal. Try not to let that happen again, or I’ll be disappointed.” Scoot was visibly taken aback by this change of tone, but, following my eloquent gaze towards the captured gray earthpony, grinned evilly for a moment. “Oh, forgive my haste, empress of the night and mistress of the stars!” Scootaloo imitated a bow. “I was just, uh… glad you’re back!” “You weren’t glad enough! The rapturous embrace should last longer!” I couldn’t help myself, and I teased her in the same arrogant tone. The pony, choking on such an accusation, threw an indignant look at me, forcing me to make a Herculean effort to keep from bursting into laughter. “But enough of that.” I waved away as mannishly as I could and fixed my close estimative gaze on Spoon, bringing her closer. The earthpony, who has calmed down a little by this time and has opened her eyes, met my stare point-blank and squeaked: “Mommy!.. Help!..” And shut her eyes again. “Is this her, I guess?” I twisted the gray mare in front of my nose in an ostensibly appraising manner. Telekinesis is so good now, ay… “Yes, Your Highness.” My accomplice nodded as importantly as possible in response, even fluttering her wings and feathers. “I hope you hi…dou… I hope she fits?” “Some spoon on the croup… Is it because she eats a lot?..” A few insecure muffled chuckles floated around. “Likes to make fun of other ponies… Does she learn well?” I glanced questioningly at Scootaloo. “Straight-A student.” She reported with dislike. “So, she learns well. I guess she doesn’t have any friends?..” “Diamond Tiara is! Well, kinda pink!” “The one who ran ahead of everyone else, leaving the gray one to us?” I chuckled. “And didn’t even come back to see what became of her?..” I don’t care who ran away and who didn’t… But the result is here, and the solution will be slightly adapt right now. “Tiara and not behaving herself disgustingly?” Scoot chuckled. “But she’s not better than Tiara for sure… So, does she fit?” “I think so-o-o…” I shook my head with the deepest doubt. “Well, barely, unless there’s someone more appropriate.” “We-ell.” prolonged Scootaloo disappointedly, glancing up at the shivering, frightened Silver Spoon, who has landed neatly on the grass. “You still have time. You’ll find.” I cut it off. “And now — let’s go. I wish to hear from you the latest news.”…
“I’m sorry for being gone like that, Scoot,” I took the little pegasus off my back and set her carefully on the ground as we passed the outskirts of Ponyville. I’ve been overloading myself today, man… I grimaced at my hind leg, which was beginning to remind me of its condition. “As if you had a choice… When I heard, that Princess and her guards had taken you away in the middle of the night…” She shuddered. “Well, I had a choice… They didn’t just take me away for no reason.” I said with a chuckle. “But… I didn’t think it would hit you. I didn’t think much at the time, to tell you the truth… I should have. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay…” “No, Scoot, it’s not “okay”. And thanks for believing in me.” I couldn’t hold myself and tried to pat her head. “Hey!” The mare recoiled back, giving me an upset stare. “First you grabbed and took me away on the back like a little girl!.. And now!.. And anyway, wouldn’t have I made it myself?..” “Not faster than me, kiddo.” I smiled, folding my wing. “And we have some thing to talk about. Without unwanted ears — so I decided to go somewhere far away.” “Well… Okay.” The pegasus gazed at me, judging the difference in the length of our steps, and reluctantly changed from anger to mercy. “Talking about what?” “About a lot of things… And unpleasant as well.” I sighed. Of course, finding her a flight instructor who understands her problems was necessary… But convincing a Dash fan about it… “I’ll give him money back, I will!” Scoot cringed, understanding my words in her own way. “They were not for me, but!..” She hesitated for some reason. And I didn’t even grab something to thank her, idiot… Sometimes I’m so dumb — it’s unbelievable… “Thanks a lot, Scoot. Honestly, without you, I don’t know what I would do at all. Thank you.” “No worries, it’s like I’ve had a choice of not doing it.” Pegasus became confused. “But was there a real reason?” I chuckled sadly. “You’re in a lot of trouble because of me.” “As if you’re not in a lot because of me.” Scoot chuckled. “And somehow I was the first one to come closer… Well, then, with Tiara. I thought that since we know each other a little, so… Anyway, it’s good that I can do something for you, too, and not just hit you with a scooter.” She smiled hesitatingly. “Fine then.” I smiled in reply. “Troubles love me. By the way, you don’t owe anything to the pharmacist.” “Did you?!.. Ehm.” Biting lip, the interlocutor stared at me nervously. “Yes, I thanked him.” I nodded seriously, barely able to keep a grave look on my face. “I paid him away, even got some recommendations. How angry was he then, by the way?” “Yeah…” The pegasus sighed with an unbelievable relief. “You!.. Oh… It’s not a long way to believing Rainbow’s stories…” “Stories?” I arced a brow. “By the way, what about you and her?” The painted one’s stories about me, yep… I have a suspicion, that their contents are known to me beforehand… “A-a…” The kid waved away, drooping. “Nothing to talk about. She was trying to convince me, that you’re a villain.” “Don’t I look like that?” I chuckled. “We-ell…” Scoot hesitated. “Maybe sometimes. And still, you’re, like… Like a good villain!” “How is that?” It’s interesting what she’d say. “Well, like… It’s… Well, like if you had been, like?.. If you were a bad villain, like in the books, you wouldn’t be helping me! And Miss Rarity probably wouldn’t sit at tea with you… And you’re helpful and all… You just get mad sometimes, like at Dash, and scare everyone, but you’re not exactly a villain anyway. And Princess Celestia wouldn’t forgive a villain-villain, I guess.” Scootaloo said, stumbling and embarrassed. “And Dash?..” “Dash is telling, that you haven’t changed and planning something, that you cannot be trusted, and that your help is just for a show!” Scoot narced out the painted one without doubts. “And you, it turns out, are sure it isn’t true?” “Of course!” I think the filly was even a little offended. “And in general… You can feel bad, sad, well, like that time… Villains don’t do that.” “Eh, Scoot…” The little pony’s words touched me unexpectedly for some reason. “Villains become villains often because they feel bad and sad, but there’s no one to help them… If I hadn’t met you by the lake I don’t know what would have become of me now. Maybe we wouldn’t have seen each other again…” I swallowed a lump in my throat. Maybe if you hadn’t helped me then, I wouldn’t have had enough reasons to go on living, to get that fucking blue one out, to go back somewhere… I wouldn’t have had enough, that’s all. “Yeah… Meaningless…” The pegasus reacted skeptically. But something was on her mind.…
“Hey, Nightmare…” Scootaloo pulled me out of my phlegmatic contemplation. “I don’t think that’s supposed to work.” “What?” “Well, what you said about villains. That villains are villains when they’re in trouble and they don’t have any friends to help them. It’s just… Tiara is a villain, right? But she has a friend — Silver Spoon…” “Why do you think she is a friend? Of course, I can’t say for sure, but it seems to me, that Spoon is not her friend, but an accomplice who can be used in her own interests and then dumped.” “Well, they always walk together, and they mock us together, too…” Scoot frowned intently. “How could Tiara or Spoon be unhappy? They’re rich!” “Well, as you see…” I chuckled sadly. Who’s better to understand and feel it than me right now, yeah… Even if Tia had given me a private palace and half the treasury, it would not have helped me to see my family. And why the heck do I need this glitter then?.. “Nightmare, are you alright?” Scootaloo touched me with a hoof worriedly. “It’s… I think you know best with your experience… But I can see, that the poor are unhappy…” Know by yourself, don’t you?.. I glanced wistfully at the wiry — even skinny — figure with disproportionately small wings, whose hollow flanks showed slightly bulging ribs. Scoot… “…You as an example… No offence! You don’t have anything — and you feel bad. They have everything — they feel good. Isn’t it true?” The pegasus said, earning my attention. I chuckled for a moment. She’s reading my thoughts, kid… “Look at Pinkie Pie, as a counter example. She doesn’t have a home — she rents a room from her employers, her salary as a baker and a saleswoman is not outstanding, and she spends almost all of it on parties. Some of the parties are paid for, of course, but many she throws at her own expense. In the end, Pinkie has practically nothing: the essentials, a couple of pieces of furniture in her rented room, and a supply of firecrackers, balloons, and other things she needs for the holidays. Now remember how often do you see her unhappy.” Scootaloo, chuckling distrustfully, frowned intently. “Yesterday. And a few days ago for sure.” “You won’t anymore.” I smiled. “We… Got a little fight the other day. Maybe you heard about ominous Nightmare Moon, making a brawl at the market?..” “Yep!” Scoot nodded with enthusiasm. “You’re cool!” “Not so…” I mumbled, stumbling. It’s not what you’re supposed to be respected for!.. “Just don’t repeat my heroic actions like that, okay? Pinkie didn’t like it at all…” “We-ell…” The pegasus prolonged with distrust and slight dissatisfaction. “And what then? You’ve made peace, right?” “We have. This is why I said, that you wouldn’t see her unhappy.” “What if you fight again?” “I’ll try to eliminate the risk of “again”!” It sounded a little harsh: Scoot, who was walking next to me, even took a couple of steps back reflexively. But I really did intend not to fight with my friends anymore. I wasn’t even sure how or why we’d gotten along with Tia, and Rar, and Pinkie… I hadn’t really thought about it all. But when I lost that contact — thought it’s not always through my own fault — felt, that I cared about all of them. Tia… I didn’t trust her! I didn’t want to trust her, I really didn’t! Maybe I was even afraid of her! And I even thought I was succeeding, until I lost her trust and, thinking about it, realized that she was to me… not a friend, but someone… ah… I don’t want to… Lose anyone else like that. Damn it, when did I ever get attached and take it to heart?.. “Hey, how are you?” Companion interrupted my thought. “Sorry, just was thinking.” I shook my head. “We’ve been talking about Spoon, haven’t we?” “Yep. Oh, I didn’t thank you!” Scootaloo pressed her ears against the head blushingly. “Yeah, thank you for scaring them away and that they won’t bother anymore! I stood up for Apple Bloom, but even so… Oh, and you said great things about the Spoon mark! Ha, that would teach her how to tease the blank flanks! Maybe I’d get something cool, and she has a spoon, from which she can’t get away from! A spoon to eat all the time!..” The pegasus snickered. “If I find out you’re teasing her, I’ll slap your neck.” I promised. “Hey! But she and Tiara!.. Well, I mean, Spoon.” She stumbled. “A-a… And why did you take just her, not Tiara?..” She mumbled under her breath, but it didn’t escape from my ears. “Just think about it.” “About?.. I mean… You caught her for purpose?!” Scoot exclaimed in a dazed and disappointed way at the same time. “Why-y? Tiara is the leader!” “Because Tiara is the leader.” I smiled cheerfully. “I was interested: would she leave Spoon or not. She did. At least I didn’t see her afterwards.” “Ph… It’s Tiara we’re talking about!” The pegasus sniffed disparagingly. “The champion of doing nasty things!” “Here-e.” I nodded. “And I hope Spoon notices and remembers that, too…” “And then they’ll quarrel and, instead of annoying us, they’ll fight each other!” Scootaloo finished excitedly, jumping up with excitement and flapping her wings like a big bee, with a quiet hum. “Nice! Oh! But… Why can’t I tease Spoon?” “Because after that, she’ll go looking for protection from Tiara in the first place…” And also because behaving like that is bullshit, but you wouldn’t get it right now. “…and everything will go back to where it started, only Spoon won’t leave Tiara at all again, afraid of a repeat of all this.” “And what, should I just leave her alone?” The mare doubted, sighing. “Nope. Not just “leave”, but protect from those, who would try to get advantage of her quarrel with Tiara, and what is even better — try to befriend her.” “What?! Her?! Why?!” Scoot stumbled on a plain spot, staring at me with her small eyes. “Getting a friend instead of a foe isn’t enough for you? And Tiara, being alone, is unlikely to continue to be as arrogant.” “Hm…” She mused heavily. “What if it fails? What if Tiara doesn’t quarrel with her?” “If not now — they will after some time.” I shrugged with wings. “But now you know what to do — just don’t lose the momentum.”…
“Hey, Scoot!” I remembered something after a few minutes of a leisurely walk in silence. Damn it, I called her for exactly this thing and almost forgot it. “Can I ask you a not-so-pleasant question?” “Ahead.” “How are the flights going?” “Anyhow.” The darkened pegasus grumbled gloomily right off the bat. “This damn wings are only suitable for running after air!” Scootaloo looked askew at her back evilly. “Yeah…” I followed her gaze. As far as I know, at this age they should be 1.5-2 times as big… “Everyone flies already, even those who are a year younger! Or even two! But I…” She drooped with sorrow. “And Rainbow doesn’t want to teach me anymore…” “What medics say?..” I specified reflexively, immediately scolding myself in thought. Damn it, I didn’t want to ask that! “They don’t say anything.” Against my expectations, Scootaloo just became surprised a bit. “What should they say? There’s nothing to be in pain.” “Didn’t ask.” I stated half-questioningly. “I didn’t. Why? And after all…” Damn it. I didn’t expect, that she wouldn’t even bother with it… Problem: I thought, that she and Balk would be brought together based on the similarity — if not identity — of the problems, but she doesn’t even see her problems now… “I don’t know… Your peers usually have bigger wings…” I answered crumpled, trying to figure out how to continue the conversation. “And?” Scoot became offended. “Rainbow said, that wings aren’t the main thing! Like, the pegasus magic is more important! And by the way, I was told the same thing in the school…” “Partially…” I agreed thoughtfully. I think I know where to go from. “By the way, about Dash… How long has she been teaching you? What about the successes?” “Long ago! Successes — not much…” The mare sighed, but rose up in the same moment: “Hey! Are you talking that she is not capable of teaching?!” “As she said herself, maybe wings aren’t the main issue, but it’s important, you know. You can see for yourself, that you can’t fly the way she teaches you…” “When I grow up — I’ll be able to.” Scootaloo grumbled. “…And also, she doesn’t want to teach you anyhow.” “We will make peace!” There wasn’t much confidence in the little pegasus' voice, though. “And until you make up, you’re just going to keep stomping around on the ground?” I sighed. Scoot was sullenly silent. The feeling, that I treat the hopes and dreams of the poor pegasus girl like an elephant in a china shop, gnawed at my soul. But what else could I do?.. With Dash, who has never had trouble flying, she wouldn’t fly — something has to be done! Why is it so disgusting then, damn it?.. “Well… Talk with Balk Biceps — do you know him? Big white pegasus with red eyes…” “Pegasus?” The kid said in a surprised tone. “Big fireplug, sometimes trades nuts at the market, yeah? He’s an earthpony!” “He is not.” I chuckled. “This bulk is a pegasus. But his wings are like yours. And do you know the most interesting part? He flies quite normally with them.” “No way! Are you joking?” The mare didn’t trust me. “Ask him yourself.” I chuckled. “I think he, as the owner of similar little wings, might have some advice for you about flying. He’s even willing to train you, if you’d like.” “Na-ah… I’ll stay with Rainbow… She’s cool and!..” “Decide for yourself — you’re not a kid.” I shrugged with wings in an exaggeratedly indifferent manner. “Just keep in mind, that you haven’t been flying with her — it means you’re doing something wrong. But Bulk is the pony, who might know what exactly is wrong.” “Dash knows more about flying!” Scoot shook her mane. And, looking at her back, thoughtfully stared at the ground.…
“Finally, haven’t taken an eternity to get here.” I grinned to myself as my hooves clattered down the steps of the hospital porch. It was as unpleasant to get up as it was to walk to the hospital. I overran too much today and opened the still unhealed “hi” from the manticore… The time has already passed well past lunchtime and was gradually approaching evening. But honestly, I would not have known about it, if I had not come across the pony with a clock, strong enough in spirit to be able to answer the question “What time is it?” on the merits. Yeah, the local Sun, hanging in one place, was really annoying at times. No, Tia sometimes moved it somewhere in the middle of the day — so it wouldn’t be in her eyes and interfere with her work, I swear you… or just when she was in the mood — who could tell? But it was not suitable for determining the time, with its usual stillness, as if freezing the world in a kind of timelessness… I will never get used to it. A trifle, it would seem, but… In general, after getting the hang of it, I gradually began to feel how slowly people live here. No phones, no watch… I could accept the absence of the first one: there are no cellular towers here anyway, so what’s the use of it? Although, there was music on it… Well, okay. But I lacked a basic watch: the impossibility to know the exact time in a second, sticking my hand in my pocket and glancing at the screen, sometimes just killed me. I should buy one if I get an opportunity to… But for now, I was stomping… clip-clopping through the corridors of the hospital in search of the right room. It was an overkill with the griffon, and I definitively should apologize for it. Just without your usual jokes, ay?.. “Two hundred and fifteen”, “two hundred and seventeen”… Here it is, “Two hundred and nineteen”. Well… “I think I said to you to get lost from the town…” No matter how I tried, I couldn’t hold myself, glancing at Gilda as I walked in. Fucking idiot! Great beginning for regrets, yeah… “#@%!” The little birdcat clucked something in her own language, twitching, and reflexively tried to move away from me as the bed creaked. “And I did — I got lost! You didn’t say “don’t come back”!” She said hurriedly in Equestrian, simultaneously eying the situation and clearly trying to decide whether to fight or claw her way out of it. “I said, that you should not be seen by me… Okay, calm down.” I put my hoof out in front of me in a stopping gesture. “I actually… Well, I obviously overreacted and… I’m sorry I snapped…” I hesitated, feeling like a complete idiot. Almost killed her, and now, “I’m sorry”? And after such a “brilliant” start to the conversation… Idio-ot… “Pfft, ponies…” Griffon rolled her eyes. “What your “sorry” would be use of if I’m stuck here for a month?..” Well… Expected. “No, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that!..” The interlocutor put her paws in a calming gesture. “Your pals have been talking a little bit, and the healers have been nattering a few things… Long story short — I know ya were in your right and all…” Ehm… What?! “Do ya think I’m a complete chuckle nut? Duty of Life is serious! Although I can’t imagine how that ever-mum… um… silent yellow pony could suddenly save someone like you, but… well, duty is duty. I get the point, I don’t need to hear it again. But killing someone for a lousy scratch is still a bit…” The little birdcat fluffed up and touched her neck with her paw. “This is why I’m apologizing…” I moved my wings awkwardly, still feeling idiotic. “I’d so wanted to rip someone’s head off, and then you’d hurt Fluttershy, who’d taken me off the scaffold because, if I can say so, she was kind enough to… Well, I couldn’t just stand…” “Yeah…” Gilda prolonged and snickered nervously. “But you did pretty good, it’s been a long time since I’ve had so much damage in a fight that didn’t heal on its own! But don’t hold your breath: without your magic you wouldn’t be able to defeat me, lanky girl!” “But I’m with magic.” I chuckled in reply. “You’ve got a hard one?” “I’d say so!” Griffon snickered again, and this time, I think, it was even funny for her. “The last time I was slapped like that was when in childhood my father found out, that I tried to get the change for myself! Yea-ah, may he rest in peace, old #@%…” They have good things out there, I see… “But then I had to lick myself, but now… No, listen, it’s not medicine here, it’s rainbow and unicorns.” My companion added with undisguised envy, blatantly fluffing up the pillow and bumping her head on it. “Not like ours…” I tilted my head sideways, studying the birdcat with my gaze. On the back — something like a medical corset, though — not as radical as I imagined, the tail is wrapped almost the entire length of the elastic bandage, you can see the bandage on the back left paw… Yeah, I’ve got a good punch… “What do you have?” “We have everything a boring shithole has!” Gilda waved away. “Have nothing, but if there’s something — pay for it! I mean, of course, it’s a standard thing in any normal country, in fact… But compared to Equestria, it looks like some kind of a shit. And you ungulates have everything here and everything is free! Even food!” Well, not really free, actually… “Let me lay a square egg, the last time I felt completely satiated was at the Equestrian flight academy, about… who knows how long ago!” Making herself comfortable once again on the bed, the griffon supported her speech with expressive swings of her paws. “I’ll become soft with you… You ponies are too flabby… Even the food: Seems to be plenty of it, and they even gave me fish… twice, both are small as hell, yea-ah…” She stared at me thoughtfully. “Listen… You’re, like, willing to make peace, yeah?” “Let’s suppose that…” I prolonged, not understanding why and where she is leading the talk to. “Listen then: find me meat — we’re even!” The birdcat grinned crookedly, clearly expecting a certain reaction. “Or I’ll soon grow hooves myself from your food and switch to grass!” Ha! “Get some meat,” that’s kind of interesting to me, too… but where? “Okay. I will see what I can do.” I nodded quietly under the astonished and disappointed gaze of my companion. “If I meet any other griffon in the street, you’ll have meat…” “Hey!” Now she really became indignant. “Griffins don’t count as meat!” “We’ll chump to see about that.” I moved a wing phlegmatically, but I couldn’t stand it and laughed: the open beak on the stretched face looked killer. “#@%!” Turning around, the griffon pipped and looked askew at me with one eye in her bird tone frustratingly, fluffing the feather on the chest up and making an impossible look of insult and arrogance. A-a, da-a-amn i-it! Ju… I just stopped to la-a-augh!..