The Unwanted One

Princess Luna woke up in a jerk and didn’t immediately realize where she was, and only waking up from her dream a few seconds later realized, that this room was her new bedroom. Alicorn rolled over onto her back and, taking a couple of deep breaths, dropped her head on the pillows, staring up at the ceiling and listening to her pounding heart, gradually calming down. She dreamed of something sticky and indecipherable the whole night again, on the verge of a nightmare, but Princess could not remember what it was, no matter how hard she tried, again noting sadly, that the abilities, associated with the dream world, have turned away from her. Well, at least with dreams like that she could at least get some sleep, even if they end up with a broken mind and a sore head. Nightmares were worse… Luna huddled up to her chin and covered herself with the blanket she’s thrown off in her sleep, trying to shift her thoughts to something more positive. To her new chambers, for example… When the Princess of the Night looked around the bedroom, she yet again couldn’t hold back her admiration and, at the same time, her perplexity. All this for her?.. But why? What for?… And how could one live here alone? The last thought made her feel uncomfortable. Yes, the sister’s masters have worked hard — even if just a little under the deadline — and now Luna has been trying to get used to the fact, that in her full and sole possession was not two rooms of her dwelling from the distant past in the Castle of the Two Sisters and not four rooms of luxurious guest rooms a week ago, but a whole new wing of the castle and, besides the guest and service rooms, almost two dozen rooms in it! Princess grinned sadly: wanted to think of something positive, eh?.. Chambers, yep… In the company of a few servants and a couple of guards at the entrance, she felt lost in the woods like a little mare. The echoing emptiness of her new home was oppressive rather than restful. A private library, a swimming pool with artificial waterfalls, large and small reception rooms, a kitchen with a personal chef, and three dining rooms: a private one, where you could eat alone or with someone alone; a small one for several ponies, and a large one for several dozens. There was even a room designed as a dressing room! A large room, where a ponikin with her only — for the time being — coronation dress, and a ponikin with the Nightmare Moon’s armor were huddled together… Luna rolled onto her side and curled up. In a position like this, she has no right to feel sorry for herself! There are a lot of rooms, you see… Unfortunate Nightmare, according to Cadence, meanwhile, is living in someone else’s house, in the basement, and sleeping on the floor! She has nothing! And she, unlike Princess and Celestia’s own sister, is hardly considered worthy of love or respect by many… The Princess wrapped her own wings around herself as if to protect herself from the coming melancholy — and then folded them back as she angrily pulled herself up onto the bed. Enough! Dau… Nightmare Moon saved her life, even though — Luna could swear — didn’t really want to! And yet she gave her tormentor a chance. “We must put it to good use immediately, and not indulge in pathetic self-pity!” Alicorn hissed to herself as she yanked herself up from her enormous bed and stood on the fluffy carpeted floor. Empty? Invite Nightmare, who has nowhere to live! Train, take care of her — how you should have at the start! Did they make a monster out of her? Then come out and tell to everyone, that it’s not true! Show by deeds, not by words, that you deserve this chance! Calling the servants, Princess, limping on her wounded leg, went to the bathroom resolutely: it was time to clean up. Then she should write a letter to Nightmare Moon. If her sister could not find time to invite her to Canterlot, she should do it herself!

…

With a longing sigh, Luna dropped her head dolefully onto the desk, on the pristine blank sheet of paper, which she has been staring at for a good half an hour. Having finished her morning walk and breakfast, Princess resolutely set about the realization of her morning idea: she found her office, where there was a massive desk, a bunch of sharpened new pens, ink and paper, but as soon as she put her pen over a blank sheet of paper, she got confused. All the thoughts and ideas about the message, that have been swirling in her head since this morning, evaporated at once, leaving alicorn struggling to figure out what to write. The knowledge that Nightmare would probably throw the letter into a fireplace without reading it, once she knew who it was from, didn’t help at all either. How and what did she have to write to at least get her to read it?.. The more Luna thought about it, the more she became certain, that if Nightmare honored her message with her attention, she would not accept her invitation, even if she lived in a hut and nibbled grass from hunger. She remembered the conversation with her and Tia, when she had just awakened, legs trembling with weakness and a fresh wound, that hurt even through the painkillers, and Luna had come to stop her sister from doing something stupid, against the doctors' protestations… Nightmare was watching her fate being decided like it didn’t concern her, and when it came to the armor, she suddenly took Celestia’s side demonstratively, as if allowing her to take the armor from herself against Luna’s own will! “I don’t want your pathetic handouts, traitor!” This is what it meant… Alicorn shivered and swallowed a sudden lump in her throat forcefully. Nightmare Moon hated her so much, that it seems, that she’s ready for the worst for herself — just to not take her, Luna’s help… She, probably, would have refused from taking the blocker ring off if Princess had asked her in that moment… “And you spared Our life because didn’t want to harm Our sister by your deeds…” Mare drew a conclusion from her thoughts by a cracking whisper, feeling, that it starts to burn eyes and blur eyesight. It was scary to realize the bottomless abyss, which was dug out by herself. After that meeting, a hope arose, that making a peace is possible, that Nightmare spared her, gave her a second chance because… Maybe trusted in her repentance, in her desire to fix everything… The sudden realization, that she, maybe, didn’t make a final blow just because of Celestia didn’t leave this hope even a chance. She, Luna, still isn’t worthy of anything except hatred in the poor black alicorn’s eyes, and only the sister’s figure behind her back prevented her from doing it… In the pressing silence of the tall and unwelcoming office, the first drop fell onto the blank white sheet.

…

Luna watched in somber thoughtfulness the flow of water from the faucet slammed noisily into the polished stone of the sink and, gleaming in the light of the magical lamps, ran in a small arc towards the drain. Throwing off her daze, Princess sighed and, splashing her face with water once more and blinking, shut it off. The mirror she looked up at still showed flushed eyes and puffy eyelids. And the mascara has to be reapplied… Swallowing the urge to say something to herself in the mirror — remembering how it had already turned out once — alicorn hurried out into the bedroom. It’s so… A sudden cautious knock on the door prevented her from finishing her thought. “Your Highness, may I come in?” “You may.” Luna straightened and lifted her wings slightly, taking on a stern and collected look. “Your Highness.” Bowing, a unicorn-servant entered the room.” Her Highness Princess Celestia… A-asks for an audience…” She stumbled on her last words. “Call her in right now!” “As you wish, Your…” “RIGHT NOW!” Princess wasn’t able to hold it, causing the frightened mare to literally fly out of the bedroom and ran towards the hall with a drumming clopping How?… Who dared to stand in the way of her sister?!… Gaze caught a thestral-sentinel, running after the servant, and alicorn sighed tiredly. Of course… Ever since she’s moved here, all visitors — even her servants — have been shadowed by mouse-winged guards, making sure they didn’t dare to harm the Great Mother’s property or, Night forbid that, herself. They even tasted all the food at the door! At first they even took away forks and cutlery knives, until Luna convinced them, that it was unnecessary. Right after she banned magic blockers on all incoming unicorns… Princess clutched her wing to her face for a few seconds. Poor night ponies… And she’d let them down… How could she now judge thestrals for their distrust, turning paranoid, of ordinary ponies in general, and of Celestia’s servants in particular? And, more importantly, how do you change this for the better? “Greetings, Luna! Good morning!” The cheerful voice of sister brought the thoughtful blue alicorn back to reality. “Greetings, Your Hi…” Luna froze mid-bow, biting tongue. “E-ehm… I mean… Hello, Ti…” The junior Princess tried to fix the mess, straightening up in a haste and barely feigning a smile on her face, “Luna…” She sighed sadly, stepped closer and gently touched her sister’s neck with her wing. “Sorry, I was thinking…” Luna’s nervous glance flickered, catching one of her guards, a rare thestral-unicorn, who has followed Celestia as a part of the convoy and was standing just beside her, cocking ears and rolling her jaws in an angry glare. “Leave us!” The Princess of the Night ordered with a flame in her tone, looking in mare’s crimson eyes. The dark red night pony, puffing her nostrils angrily, hesitated, swinging her saber-shaped horn reluctantly, accepting her Mistress' will but clearly not agreeing with it. Two more guards followed, leaving the sisters alone. “How are you doing, Lu?” She smiled, seemingly unconcerned by what has happened. “And when are you going to stop bowing to me?” She finished, sounding a little sad. “Tis only happens when…” She paused, catching herself on the same old fashioned way. “It… Happens, I was thoughtful. And it happened only a few times!” For some reason, she tried to justify herself, still feeling a little confused. “Don’t worry about it, my moonbeam. I don’t blame you.” Tia hugged her sister briefly, a sad smile on her face. “Is everything alright?..” The Princess of the Night asked shyly. She was really looking forward to this meeting: Celestia has been so busy these past few days that she has barely taken the time to visit her in the hospital wing, and after the doctors finally released the younger alicorn, she and her sister have not seen each other since, aside from a couple of brief dinners together, Tia presented Luna with her new quarters and, after a quick introduction to the developer of their project, departed, leaving Princess to explore her new dwelling in the company of a desperately timid miniature earth pony in formal dress. “Yes, everything is alright!” Celestia reacted a little hastily, and smiled a little unnaturally, making Luna tense. “I’ve finally passed on some of my work to Cadence — she could use the practice, and I finally have time to… to spend it with you.” The Princess of the Day was suddenly embarrassed. “That’s good.” Smiled the younger Princess, whose gaze has already revealed the carefully camouflaged bags under her eyes and her reddened eyes… She clearly needed a rest. And her own loneliness was a very heavy burden… “And by the way… Have you… Have you invited Nightmare to come yet?..” Luna looked uncertainly down at the floor and remembered her failure with the letter. Maybe it’s… “No!” The blue alicorn recoiled back from the voice reflexively, sounding almost like a scream. “I mean, I haven’t, but… Please, let’s not hurry things along, Lu!” Clearly perplex Celestia started to speak in a hurry. “Hurry things along? How many days have it been? Five? Six? Or it is still not enough for, how did you say, for a “pause”?” The Princess of the Night scowled displeasedly. “Even a hundred wouldn’t be enough…” The snowy mare sighed, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “I’m… I’m afraid for you, Lu. There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do when it was necessary! Not just nothing!.. I didn’t even understand what was going on until it was too late! Left you alone amidst an unknown world, thinking, that…” The Princess of the Sun stopped half-word, fixing eyes at her feet. “And then… And then Nightmare came, and I almost lost you forever.” “Ti, I’m… Everything is alright…” Luna lost her nerve, scolding herself for the loose tongue in thought. At the first long-awaited meeting between her and sister in several days, she blurted it all out and started pushing all of a sudden… Hay, stupid nag! “Alright…” The snowy alicorn’s repeat echoed with sadness. “Alright by some inconceivable miracle, contrary to everything I’ve done! I promise I won’t make that mistake again, sister. And I won’t put you in that kind of danger. Never again.”

…

“Thank you for the science.” “You’re welcome, Your Highness! Helping you is a pleasure to me!” A bright pink pegasus with a bright purple mane and with a cutie mark in form of a wax stamp bowed to Luna. “But if you allow me to comment…” “I allow you.” Princess sighed quietly. When at last, at the end of the lesson, will this phrase no longer be uttered?.. “Pay more attention, please. I understand it’s hard to change from the old and familiar experience, but… whip punishment hasn’t been practiced in over five hundred years! It’s cruel! And twenty of them! It’s!.. It’s!..” The pink pony couldn’t find the words. “No more cruel than branding with red-hot iron for sodomy.” Remembering one of their first practice debates, Luna tried to turn it into a joke. Judging by the way her law teacher’s ears flattened and her head pulled back into her shoulders, it didn’t sound good. “I’ll see you the day after tomorrow at this time.” Princess couldn’t contain her disappointment — her disappointment with herself — and she crumpled the conversation with a dry phrase. The pegasus bowed silently and hurriedly — more hurriedly than usual — disappeared out the door, making the alicorn feel a prick of conscience for her intemperance. She wanted to make amends… She opened the door and took a step over the threshold… only to find Princess Cadence, squirming in the corridor under the watchful gaze of her guards. “It’s… Greetings. I came to you…” Alicorn said hi and feigned a smile, clearly losing courage. “Of course, come in.” Luna invited a bit perplexedly, stepping aside and nailing the guards with a stare, who wanted to follow the guest, forcing them to stay outside the door. “Thanks.” The Princess of love smiled shyly, when a massive door, that leads to the blue alicorn’s chambers, closed. “They… They scare me. A b-bit.” She stumbled. “Me too sometimes.” Luna sighed. “Their… Rig… Paranoia towards the day ponies, it’s…” The older Princess waved away with her wing with sad, not finding the words. “I think they just need time… Wow…” Cadence stopped short, making a sweeping glance over the room. “And this is only the entrance room…” The Princess of the Night commented the guest’s delight without enthusiasm. “These mansions are enormous beyond all measure and as empty as the dusty plains of the Moon…” She hugged herself with her wings. “Sorry for not coming earlier.” The pink alicorn became confused. “I become very tired these days… My aunt is actively bringing me up to date right now — but I’ve got a little bit of time while she’s having an appointment. Honestly, I really should have been there too, but I’ll probably be more needed here.” She smiled wanly. “Thanks for coming by.” Luna returned a smile. Cadence’s visit really pleased her. They were never really close, but the young alicorn helps the Princess of the Night in many ways. She visited when her sister was busy, helped her with her studies and her understanding of the changing world around her… Something inside Luna protested against the fact that such a rootless pony has suddenly become an alicorn Princess, but her words and actions repeatedly broke these vestiges of the past. “How are you… After everything?” The pink pony asked shyly, making an indefinable gesture. “Maybe I can help you?” Luna bit her lip thoughtfully. Sister’s visit pleased her, of course, but she still felt something like a fallout after that for some reason. And maybe she just wanted to speak out… Luna did not dare to load Tia with her problems, admittedly… “Not bad.” She finally replied vaguely. “I’m more concerned about Celestia. She passed by today and I think she aches about it even more than I do.” “I’m concerned as well.” Cadence sighed quietly. “She… She had a very hard time during that night. And honestly.” Alicorn lowered her tone. “I never could imagine her in such a state.” “Yes, she said she was very worried…” “Worried?” The junior Princess suddenly chuckled bitterly. “When she understood where and why you was heading to… I couldn’t imagine seeing Princess Celestia herself in such despair! I don’t know if she told you something like that, but I assure you: she loves you for such an extent, that she would sacrifice everything for you without even thinking about it.” Luna turned away, swallowing a bitter lump in her throat and feeling a burning sensation creeps to her eyes. She didn’t even apologize to her sister for all of this! Didn’t think what she would feel! Didn’t… Didn’t pay attention to it. Who is she to her? A traitor and a former criminal, useless, pathetic and not being able to do anything… And also — sister. The sister. And, perhaps, the beloved, if for her sake she can build up all this, endure her powerlessness and claims… Beloved and anxiously awaited for so many centuries… only to lose her again?.. No, Tia has mentioned about waiting for her before… But for some reason, the full depth of the situation only became apparent to Luna now. “We…” The Princess of the Night couldn’t hold a sob. “We are obliged to fall down and beg our sister’s forgiveness for this endless disregard of her feelings…” She said with difficulty, blinking back the tears she has shed. “You don’t have to, Luna…” Cadence touched her with a wing shyly. “Your sister doesn’t need it. All she needs is your joy and safety. That you can do well…” “Sorry, Cadence. I’ve… I’ve been acting inappropriately these days, I’ve lost the courage.” Luna said, hiding her gaze, apologizing and taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “Don’t mention it, everything is alright.” She smiled hesitatingly. “I came with the aim to help you and… Be around, when you need a friend, that’s willing to listen to you.” “Friend… I don’t know… Sister also told, that it’s important, but… I’m afraid, Cadence. I… I have only a bit of such experience! I don’t understand anything in the modern world! Everyone will be scared of me! Or will laugh at me, like they did then! Or!..” The Princess of the Night suddenly stopped short and, fixing eyes at the interlocutor, drooped her head. “Or I’ll betray everyone myself and push everyone off, like… Like I did with Nightmare Moon some time ago.” She panted, feeling the swiftly coming tears and a cloudy veil, obscuring her eyes. “Tell it. Tell me everything.” The junior alicorn looked in Luna’s eyes compassionately. “Let me help with your burden!” “I…” The Princess of the Night sobbed, not being to hold it. “I’m n-not… I…”

…

“E-everything will be alright…” Cadence whispered, dashing the tears away and continuing to stroke sobbing Luna. The fur on her chest was soaked through, and her mascara must have left smudges of her own tears on her face, but none of this mattered in the slightest before the story of the unhappy Princess of the Night. What she had done was horrifying. It also horrified Luna herself, killing her from within like poison. And there was no forgiveness for it, despite the most sincere, desperate remorse. Cadence clenched her legs around her tighter and closed her eyes. She was so unbearably sorry for them! For Luna! For Nightmare! She wanted this huge mistake, that hurt and poisoned both of them to erase, vaporize, vanish. “S-sorry…” Luna tried to break the embrace, sobbing brokenly. “Don’t. Everything is alright…” The Princess of the love whispered, longing the embrace for another minute, but then let the junior alicorn go. “She would n-never forgive me.” Dashing the last tears, Luna stated gloomily with her lost voice. “No!” Cadence rose. “I… I’ll think of something! I’ll talk to her! I’ll do everything within my strength. She will forgive you. I give you my word.