My smart girl 3. Rewriting our stars

I woke up to the feeling of Rose’s gentle hand stroking my hair — exactly as I had dreamed. She moved slowly and rhythmically, carefully threading her fingers through the strands, caressing the back of my head and neck. After a night of shallow sleep on an uncomfortable chair, the awakening was pure bliss. Because my Bambi… had come back to me. And brought me back to life with her. I kept my eyes closed for a few more precious seconds, savoring her tender touches. When I finally lifted my head, I met her weak but radiant smile — the most beautiful smile in the world. “Good morning, my love…” she whispered softly. I let out a deep sigh of relief. Climbing onto the bed, I pulled her into my arms as tightly as I dared without hurting her, then pressed my lips to her temple and froze. I closed my eyes and inhaled her familiar, beloved scent. “Good morning, baby…” She hugged me back just as fiercely, and for the first time in hours, I felt like I could truly breathe again. “Did you sleep here all night?” Rose asked quietly, trying to pull back to look at me. I wouldn’t let her. I only held her tighter, desperate to shield her from every danger in the world, to share my strength with her, to take all her pain away. “Yes, darling,” I breathed against her hair. “Where else would I be?” She felt so small and fragile in my arms that I was almost afraid to breathe. One careless movement and she might shatter like delicate crystal. Rose let out a heavy sigh. I already knew what was coming. “Why, Jay?.. You’re so silly…” she tried to scold me. I only exhaled shakily and kissed her forehead, gently stroking her silky hair. In my mind, I thanked every god that I could still do this. “Hush, my good girl… Hush. Everything’s okay. Don’t worry about me,” I whispered soothingly, rubbing her back. “But you didn’t sleep properly. Because of me. And your neck probably hurts now, doesn’t it?” my little frowning ball of happiness grumbled. I had to fight hard not to squeeze and kiss her senseless — though that comparison felt terribly wrong after yesterday. “I’m fine, silly,” I smiled, stroking her cheek and drowning in her worried eyes. Then my expression grew serious. “The only thing that matters to me is how you feel.” Rose sighed and lowered her lashes, realizing I had skillfully turned the conversation back to her. But right now, that was the only question that truly mattered to me. “I feel… alive…” she breathed almost soundlessly, resting her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, the horror of yesterday flashing through my mind again. I pulled her closer in a sudden, fierce embrace, determined not to let her go for at least another day. We sat in silence for a while. I listened intently to her quiet, shallow breathing, unconsciously counting every inhale and exhale. Eventually, she pulled back slightly and whispered: “Jay… What… happened yesterday?” My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t want to remember. I couldn’t. I wanted to erase everything that had happened in this room yesterday like a terrible nightmare and never speak of it again. But Rose was waiting, watching me with anxious eyes, and I knew I couldn’t dodge the question this time. “You…” I began, then faltered, unsure how to continue. How... How on earth could I tell her that she had almost died in my arms — and that I... had nearly died with her? “What?” Rose frowned, looking at me suspiciously. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the full truth. I looked away and muttered: “Nothing serious, baby. Don’t worry.” But my girl was never easy to fool. A second later, I felt her cool, gentle fingers on my cheeks, forcing me to meet her attentive gaze. “Jay…” she said reproachfully. I suddenly felt like a guilty first-grader. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that? I can see you’re hiding something from me. So tell me. Right now.” I knew I couldn’t hide it from her forever, but I really didn’t want to relive yesterday, even in my mind. I cupped her beloved face in my palms, pressed my forehead to hers, and whispered: “Rose, I…” She only smiled sadly, covering my hands with her own, and quietly begged: “Please tell me. It’s… bad, isn’t it?” Her lips had already started trembling. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I pulled her against my chest, pressing my cheek to her soft hair, and exhaled brokenly: “You… almost died yesterday, Rose.” “What..?” Her eyes widened in shock. A stunned gasp escaped her lips as she tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. “It’s true, sweetheart,” I whispered, gently stroking her back to calm her — though I could have used some calming myself. “Your brother and I… barely managed to save you. We literally pulled you back from the other side.” “That attack…?” she whispered. I closed my eyes. “Yes. It could have been fatal.” *It almost was*, I added silently. Rose stayed quiet for a while, breathing fast and shallow, then whispered: “You… What exactly happened to me? I only remember a sharp pain in my chest… and then everything went hazy…” I held her close, soothingly rubbing her fragile back, and heard my own hollow voice as if from afar: “Your heart stopped. You… experienced clinical death, Bambi. And… we had to defibrillate you.” Rose gasped sharply and gripped my hands tighter. “You… resuscitated me?” I shook my head. “Ten did the defibrillation. I… I couldn’t even move. When I realized you weren’t breathing… I almost died with you, my love. You scared me so much…” “I’m... so sorry…” Rose sobbed and buried her face in my chest. I held her tightly and kissed her temple, whispering hoarsely: “Never. Do you hear me? Never do that again.” A muffled sound — half-sob, half-laugh — escaped her lips. We both knew it wasn’t something she could control, but I still had to say it. Cupping her face in my palms and looking into her beloved eyes, I breathed out heavily: “You promised me, remember? You promised you wouldn’t leave me here alone… You wouldn’t break your promise, would you? I… I can’t live without you, baby… I just can’t…” Rose bit her trembling lip and smiled through her tears. She covered my hands with her small, cool ones and whispered: “Don’t be silly, my love… of course I’ll keep it. But only if you keep me right here, close to your heart… Do you promise?” “You *are* my heart, little one… You became it the day you attacked me with that frying pan,” I smiled, even though my eyes burned unbearably from unshed tears. I had to be strong. For her. For us. Rose let out a weak, teary laugh and buried her face in my shoulder, hugging me tightly again. She gently stroked my back, then quietly grumbled into my neck: “By the way… sometimes I still want to hit you.” “For what, baby?” I asked with a smile, kissing her temple and pulling her even closer with possessive hunger. Rose sighed, brushing her lips softly against my collarbone, and gave a tiny huff: “Well, you know… for prevention. So you don’t get too cocky.” I chuckled, pressing my cheek to her fluffy, feather-soft hair, and whispered: “Just don’t leave me, and I’ll allow it… I guess,” I sighed dramatically, accepting my fate, “you can hit me whenever you want.” “So... You’re giving me permission?” Rose pulled back slightly. Mischievous sparks lit up her eyes. “When have I ever forbidden you anything, Bambi?” I smirked, stroking her cheek. “I told you before… You’re the only one allowed to wrap me around your little finger.” “Then… close your eyes,” she said, biting her lip and looking at me from under her lashes with a tiny smile. I would be lying if I said I didn’t get nervous. My girl’s hits were no joke. “Are you… going to hit me right now?” I sighed in mock resignation. I closed my eyes obediently and waited for the blow. But Rose only let out a soft giggle. She cupped my face with her cool palms and gently pressed her lips to mine. I exhaled sharply, pulled her closer, and knew I would never let her go again.