Chapter 4
May 6, 2026 at 8:28 AM
It was already close to midnight, but I was still sitting in my office, staring at the monitor with eyes red from lack of sleep. I feverishly scrolled through donor databases and lists of the best clinics that performed heart transplants. After learning that Rosé needed a transplant, my parents promised to use all their connections to find a donor as quickly as possible. I could only pray that we would manage to do it before my little girl’s heart finally gave out.
Recalling all the warning signs her body had been giving us this whole time, I cursed myself with the harshest words. I couldn’t understand how I could have been so careless. Her condition was deteriorating day by day, literally right before my eyes, and I had been such an idiot for not noticing the obvious for so long. I let her convince me that everything was fine, even though deep down I had long suspected it wasn’t.
God, how could I have been so blind?
All the symptoms were screaming about heart failure… and I’m a cardiologist, for fuck’s sake.
Frequent headaches, dizziness, weakness, back and chest pain, and finally — fainting spells.
All the signs of the disease were right there, but I simply didn’t want to believe it until the very end… until it was too late. And now I was paying for it in full.
Rosé now had to stay in the clinic under constant supervision. Ten and I had to lie through our teeth to the upset and confused little one, telling her that we just needed to run some additional tests to make sure she was really okay. But it was obvious she didn’t believe us. She kept complaining and protesting for a long time, saying she hated hospitals and wanted to go home.
It even got to the point where she started blackmailing me with Jaedi, claiming there was no one to feed him because both Ten and I were here, and that I was the ultimate scoundrel and bandit for keeping her here against her will.
She said her older brother was a traitor for going along with it. Poor Ten had to sneak out of his shift early to complete this vitally important mission and avoid even more scolding from a seriously furious Rosé. Meanwhile, I had to cover for him with the management and solemnly swear to her that tomorrow, right after one more examination, I would personally take her back home.
I felt cold at the thought of how much longer I would have to keep her here with lies. But for now, Rosé was here, under my watch, and that was the most important thing. I’d think about tomorrow… tomorrow.
I closed my tired eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose, flinching when I suddenly heard a timid knock on the door in the night silence. A moment later, my Bambi appeared on the threshold of the office.
Seeing her, I couldn’t help but smile.
So she’d calmed down after all. Although… I wouldn’t be too optimistic.
When I left her in the ward with the sweet nurse Jisoo and basically ran away from my little fawn—who had somehow turned into an angry tigress—so I wouldn’t get chewed out for all my real and imaginary sins, she had been extremely irritated. She kept huffing at me and refused to accept my assurances that her stay here was a necessary measure and wouldn’t last long.
Now she was probably going to start complaining again and demanding that I let her go home immediately.
But Rosé didn’t rush into complaints, threats, or accusations. Instead, she froze in the middle of the office, looking like a small lost kitten that made you want to pick her up and hide her inside your jacket so nothing bad could ever happen to her.
“Baby, why aren’t you sleeping? Did something happen?” I asked gently, setting aside the papers I’d been sorting through all evening and quickly closing the tabs with donor lists on the monitor. The last thing I needed was for Rosé to see them and start asking unwanted questions.
She clutched the hem of her shirt, frowned at me, and complained:
“I don’t like it here, Jay. I already told you I hate hospitals. And you made me sleep here.”
*Here we go…*
I sighed quietly, already preparing to calm her down again, but Rosé wasn’t finished. She added, no longer so aggressively, but rather somewhat resignedly, as if she had finally accepted that she wouldn’t be going home until morning:
“I can’t sleep alone in an unfamiliar place. And… I miss Jaedi.”
*Of course. Jaedi first and foremost.*
My smile widened. I leaned my elbows on the desk, raised an eyebrow, and asked teasingly:
“And what’s wrong with the maxi version of Jaedi?”
“What maxi version?” Rosé frowned and bit her lip, crossing her arms over her chest.
I tilted my head and gave her a playfully reproachful look.
“Well, I’m right here.”
Hearing that, Rosé huffed, though the corners of her lips twitched slightly in a smile. But then they drooped again sadly, and she whispered very quietly:
“You’re here, but I’m there… in an empty ward… alone. It’s cold and uncomfortable, and I…”
I couldn’t listen to this anymore. I stretched my arms toward her and said softly:
“Come here, sweetheart.”
And Rosé, without hesitation, rushed to me, forgetting all her grievances and even the fact that, in her version of events, I was the main culprit behind her being stuck here. Right now, it seemed I was her only salvation.
But when she got closer, she hesitated uncertainly, as if unsure what to do. I decided everything for her — I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto my lap. She landed with a quiet squeak, and I immediately wrapped my arms tightly around her, pressing her close, and kissed her beloved lips tenderly.
“There you go, baby… Now you’re with me… and completely safe. Better?” I whispered.
Rosé let out a soft sigh and buried her face in my neck, giving the tiniest nod. That was enough for me.
“My girl… You should have come to me sooner if you couldn’t sleep without me…” I murmured lovingly, burying my fingers in her soft hair and gently stroking the back of her head and neck — I knew she loved that most of all.
Rosé sighed and pressed closer to me in search of warmth, like a little kitten. My heart clenched with tenderness.
“Well… First of all, I’m still mad at you. And second… you’re working. You have other patients, you’re on duty, and you have a ton of important things to do… I really didn’t want to distract you, but then… I couldn’t hold out any longer…” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pressing even closer, unconsciously seeking protection.
My arms tightened around her even more, giving her everything she needed. I sighed and pressed my cheek to the top of her light head, leaving a light kiss there.
“Silly girl… There’s nothing more important to me than you. No work, no other patients mean anything. You always come first… Please remember that and never doubt it.”
“You’re spoiling me too much…” came her quiet reply.
But despite her words, Rosé sighed happily and wrapped her arms around my neck, curling up into a warm little ball on my lap. She looked even more like a sleepy little kitten now, but I knew my words had reached her heart.
I smiled, running my fingers through her silky light strands, and gently kissed her temple.
“Oh, come on, darling… I’ve only just started. And I’ve barely spoiled you at all.”
Rosé huffed softly and rubbed the tip of her nose against my neck, but soon grew sad again and whispered quietly, almost hopelessly:
“Why won’t they let me go home? You said I was fine…”
Even though I had been expecting this question, I still didn’t know how to answer it. The only honest option was the truth, but the truth was too terrifying.
*Because we might not make it to the ER in time* — how could I possibly say that to her?
Of course I couldn’t.
So I bit my lip almost until it bled and… lied again.
“Because we need to run a few more tests and examinations, baby. I already told you. It’s just a precaution, so please don’t worry about anything.”
Rosé sighed so heavily that my heart clenched painfully again. I stroked her back, softly kissed her temple, and, trying to distract her from the sad thoughts, smiled and suggested:
“By the way, kitten, since you’re not sleeping anyway… how about some hot chocolate?”
“You have hot chocolate?” Rosé pulled back and looked at me in surprise, but her shining smile and eyes sparkling with delight said it all.
I chuckled quietly and shook my head.
“What’s so surprising, Bambi? Or did you think only girls like sweets, and we men chug plain black americano without sugar or cream all day long?”
I raised an eyebrow challengingly. Rosé laughed too, biting her lip, and finally — my favorite, genuine smile — reached her eyes as well.
“Well… honestly, that’s pretty much what I thought.”
“That’s all just a stereotype, sweetie. Let me tell you a secret — guys love hot chocolate too. I’m personally crazy about it,” I smiled, glad I had finally managed to distract her a little.
“Really? Why am I only finding out about this now?” she asked teasingly, biting her lip again to keep from laughing, while I dramatically rolled my eyes.
“And you’re asking? I can’t exactly shout about it from the rooftops. It would completely ruin my reputation.”
“Oh, so that’s how it is… Well then… If your reputation is more important, then such a tough macho like you obviously can’t drink hot chocolate and is doomed to chug liters of plain black americano without sugar or cream,” she sighed theatrically and shook her head, hiding a mischievous smile in the corners of her lips.
I pulled her closer, lightly pecked that very smile, and shrugged carelessly:
“Looks like it, Bambi. But today, for you, I can make an exception. Just promise me that our little secret stays between us and never leaves these walls. Deal?”
“I promise, bandit. But you’ll owe me,” Rosé whispered with a smile and pulled me into another long kiss… sweet as hot chocolate.
