When Camellias Bloom

      Mikasa returned to the bed. What was she supposed to do now?       The minutes dragged on endlessly. Her heart stopped at every rustle, but no one appeared in the room. Meanwhile, the symptoms were only getting stronger.       It was unlike anything else. She acutely felt that she needed an alpha. Right now. She could still endure it for the time being, but the pull was so strong that she would soon be ready to accept anyone nearby, just to get rid of this burning heat inside. This was exactly what the councillors wanted. She wouldn't resist when someone was brought in.       Sir Kirstein... It would have been so simple with him. Not so disgusting. She was sure he wouldn't have resisted. But he chose honour and country over her. The very things the heiress should choose.       Jean was lucky. Nature had spared him. He could make decisions. She, however, was now deprived of that. What she must do was dictated by the chemistry inside her. A force she couldn't fight.       Mikasa buried her face in the pillow, feeling absolutely wretched. How much longer could she hold on? As soon as everyone found out—and Jean had already gone to report to someone—she would have to accept someone. Mikasa had never considered the hardships of an omega's life, but now she was forced to think about it thoroughly.       She was now just a problem for the country, and the problem needed to be eliminated. Mechanically, without much thought for the feelings of said problem. And even her lineage wouldn't help her here.       Her thoughts spun wildly, trying to find some solution. The desire mingled with the realisation of complete ruin. What awaited her now?       She couldn't accept the betrayal of her own body, her own nature. This humiliating, vile desire, this wild heat in her lower abdomen, it all made her unworthy. A second-class citizen. Uncontrollable and led by instincts. Someone like her could never ascend the throne and lead an empire. She was made to bend and submit. She was no better than any common girl from the street. She was the same as her maids, and countless unfortunate women outside the castle walls. Submissive to the greater power of hormones.       Being an omega was a death sentence.       Mikasa clenched her teeth. No. She wouldn't give up so easily. She'd think of something. Her parents would understand. They would be horrified, of course, but they loved her, didn't they?       Let a doctor see her. It was some kind of malfunction, some illness. She just wasn't ready to believe that she had truly presented as an omega.       Through the fog of her thoughts, outside sounds penetrated: footsteps, rustling, voices. The noise grew until Sir Springer's armour rustled outside the door and he called out his rank.       Mikasa fell silent. No point in screaming, no point in crying. Her fate would be decided now. Someone had come. Someone much higher in rank than her guards. The message had reached its recipient, and now they had brought someone for her relief. She wasn't ready. Her mind was still working too well, but of course, no one would ask her. Disgusting.       She heard Sir Kirstein's voice, passionately whispering something, and the thought that relief had been so close clawed at her soul. She was finished.       "What is the meaning of this?!"       Mikasa propped herself up on the pillows and froze. Of all the possible voices, this was the one she least expected. The Captain had no business being near her chambers, and he knew it well. The very fact of his appearance in this part of the castle could be a death sentence. Why had Jean brought him here?       Out of the dozen people who should learn of what happened, Levi was the last who should have been informed of the princess's new status. Mikasa strained her hearing, trying to catch anything else.       "Captain, I'm just as surprised! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it either!"       "And why the hell did you call me? What am I supposed to do?"       "Forgive me, but I'm afraid only you can handle her."       "Well, shit..."       The lock clicked. The door swung open and slammed shut so hard the hinges squeaked. The bed curtains billowed angrily, stirred by the draft. Mikasa sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to herself. The Captain's scent hit her nostrils—so sharp, so alluring, so...       "Don't touch me!" she cried out, feeling she was about to lose control and sprawl before him like a house cat. Gathering all her pride, she looked at him defiantly.       "I wasn't going to..."       He stood by the door, relaxed, calm, and Mikasa continued to stare stubbornly, like a cornered animal. She understood the danger of her position, but she was ready to fight. She had nothing left to lose. This man was the last person she wanted to see in her chambers. At night. During her first heat.       The lock clicked behind him. He turned to the door, as if surprised, and with a heavy sigh, walked deeper into the room, dropping onto the settee near the bed. He looked tired and sleepy, dressed not in uniform—just simple trousers and a shirt—with only the swords permanently hanging at his waist signifying his status as Captain of the Guard.       Mikasa felt as if doused with ice water.       She was locked in with him, in this room. Alone with an alpha, with that damn Levi Ackerman! And if Mikasa had wanted to spare Jean for not taking advantage of the situation, for not doing her the favour of easing her suffering, now he better not cross her path. Something about betrayal, he'd said? That's exactly what he had done. Betrayed her.       There was no telling what this man might do to her when she was so vulnerable. Someone else should be here. A doctor, for starters. A councillor, or someone hastily chosen for quick stabilisation. But instead, the Captain was in her room, alone with her. An alpha.       Yes, his control was astonishing, but who knew if he might decide to take advantage and claim the princess? Would it give him pleasure? After all, he hated her so much.       Some more time would pass, and she wouldn't care anymore. For now, she wasn't desperate enough to submit to him. But it was unlikely her desires mattered to someone like him.       "What are you doing here? Get out this instant!" Mikasa moved further away from the edge of the bed. She was starting to shake as if with chills. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stop the trembling.       "Jean said you're in heat..."       Levi glanced at her from under his brows, as if about to scold her, and his eyes glinted dangerously in the light of the moon rising over the garden.       That dirty word, unworthy of a future empress, cut through her hearing. But even more infuriating was his familiar address. The Captain had never allowed himself to speak to her like that, or to address her informally as if she were some servant.       She was about to open her mouth to protest, but couldn't. To him, Mikasa was no longer the heiress, the future empress, but merely an omega, existing for a single purpose—to submit to her nature. And the Captain, being an alpha, was perfectly aware of his position in this hierarchy. He didn't have to speak to her respectfully, didn't have to obey. And he was using that, again pointing out how much he couldn't stand her. An omega princess—a terrible shame and absurdity.       Only now did Mikasa consider how unjust it all was.       The room suddenly felt cold. She pulled the sheet higher, trying to hide from his probing gaze. The easiest thing would be to give up. What was the point of this fight if sooner or later she would have to submit? But she couldn't. She hadn't yet lost the battle with her nature and intended to fight to the end, or at least try. The Captain himself was proof that one could suppress the animal, the base desire. If he could, then someone like Mikasa could manage without issue. Blue blood flowed in her veins, and that had to count for something.       Finally, she found the words.       "It's a lie. I am the future empress, an alpha by birth. I'm unwell, that's all. Sir Kirstein misunderstood me. And you have no right to be here. Leave."       Mikasa hoped he would be afraid to disobey a direct order. She couldn't deceive him, though. The Captain had smelled her heat the moment he approached the room, she had no doubt. But the best decision for him would be to get up from her settee and get the hell out of her chambers.       He silently watched her, unmoving. Mikasa held his gaze with dignity, despite the fear-stifled fire now re-igniting inside her.       The Captain was dangerously close. Resisting the call of nature, the pull of instinct, was difficult. She held on only by the remnants of her pride and her dislike for the man sprawled on her settee. If he approached, if he even tried to take her, she wouldn't be able to fight back.       "You're saying you don't understand what's happening to you?"       His even tone, his sense of control, the understanding that he was now far above her—suddenly seemed unbearably attractive to Mikasa. She crumpled the sheet in her fingers, squeezed her eyes shut, just to avoid seeing his face and those cold, beautiful eyes. Her entire being reached for the one thing that was meant to attract her. The alpha's scent. How disgraceful. She, raised with the belief that no one was above her, was now forced to experience the desire to submit firsthand.       "You reek throughout the whole castle. And you still came to training. It's your luck the guards are all betas. Lost your mind completely?"       "How dare you?"       Mikasa flared up. Indignation temporarily dulled the arousal. He was simply infuriating! His very existence irritated her. The way he controlled himself was simply unnatural!       If he had come to use her, then let him get on with it. The fact that he just sat there watching her was bewildering. What was he after?       Ever since his arrival at the castle, everything in her life had gone awry. It was as if Captain Levi himself sowed misfortune in her path. It didn't matter that she was weaker now; she wasn't used to such a tone, and she didn't care about hierarchy and etiquette. After all, no one had officially stripped her of her status, and she wouldn't allow some captain of the guard to address the future empress like that. She opened her mouth, ready to tell him exactly what she thought of him.       "Calm down."       The Captain's voice, even and calm, affected her like magic. Mikasa immediately fell silent. An irresistible force made her close her lips, from which new orders were about to fly. She obeyed, even without wanting to. Her body simply did what the alpha said. Mikasa nearly whimpered in indignation.       The Captain's voice suddenly softened:       "Jean told me everything. I'm only here to protect you. From yourself, if necessary, as well."       Mikasa was taken aback. This wasn't what she expected to hear at all. She thought... he would try to take her. Captain Levi wasn't stupid; he knew that right now, it was within his power to climb even higher in his career. He only needed to take advantage of the heiress. But he wasn't doing that. So... he didn't want her?       If he felt anything for her, his desire would be irresistible. Could he keep himself in check simply because he disliked her?       Disappointment. That's what she felt in that instant.       Mikasa shook her head. That was not what should upset her right now. Quite the opposite. This was exactly what she needed: for him not to look at her as an object of desire. But nature couldn't be fooled; her entire being yearned for the one who was stronger, who could ease her suffering right now. With each passing moment, Mikasa doubted more and more that she was strong enough to endure. She needed to get him out quickly, otherwise she definitely wouldn't last.       "I don't need your help. Get out," she hissed through her teeth, cherishing the hope that he would finally listen. But the Captain, like a silent statue, sat on the settee, watching her intently.       Mikasa wanted to say something else, but words failed her, and the silence hanging between them grew perceptibly thicker. Or was it his scent?       Mikasa turned away, breaking eye contact. It was impossible to speak when her mind wasn't clear and the pull downstairs was so strong.       "I can call a doctor. And a councillor. And whoever else is supposed to come for you."       Mikasa's head snapped up. The fear on her face must have been so evident that the Captain smirked slightly.       "That's what I thought. Jean wouldn't have called me if he wanted to give away your little secret. So why do you want to hide it? You do realise everything is already decided, and you're only delaying the inevitable?"       "Don't you dare speak to me like that. Don't threaten me. I am still the daughter..."       "One word from a councillor, and you're nobody."       His words cut painfully into her heart. Mikasa looked at him with such fury that she was ready to lunge forward and scratch his face like a wild cat, just to wipe off that calm expression. Her fate was being decided, and he had the audacity to disregard her status.       But Mikasa dared not move. She was afraid that one touch from the Captain would drive her insane.       "Don't look at me like you're about to attack. You and I both know you won't. You wanted your nature to remain a secret until morning? Fine. Even though there's no point. You reek of omega."       "Get. Out. Now," Mikasa snarled.       Her mind was clouding with a new wave. She wanted to get rid of the Captain as quickly as possible. His sarcasm infuriated her. His calmness, his knowingness, irritated her beyond measure. And what was he after? Suddenly decided he wanted to help? Nonsense. Damn. Levi. Ackerman.       "I'll leave, but you won't last," he began, "and outside that door, a line will form of those who'll find you to their taste. Just because you're of royal blood, no one will pity you. You're perfuming the entire vicinity. So choose: stay with me here, in safety, or I leave and you're on your own. Though, in your place, I'd forget that option."       How dare he... For the umpteenth time, the words trembled on her tongue. But the Captain was now fully entitled to speak to her as he wished. He was an alpha; it was in his nature to dominate, and in hers to submit. And she'd better get used to it quickly.       The very thought made her feel sick. Mikasa stared at her fingers, still clutching the sheet tightly. Did she really smell that strong? Oh Goddess, then by morning the whole empire would know she was an omega.       No. She'd think about that later. Now she needed to get rid of the other problem—Captain Levi in her room. And nature might take away her right to be strong, but it couldn't take away her pride. Of that, Mikasa had plenty.       She didn't need his so-called "protection." She'd rather he protect her from himself and disappear this instant. She still intended to endure the heat until her parents returned. If she could hide it all, maybe they could help her. Oh, if only they were in the palace...       "If you can endure, then others should too. Everyone in this castle is my servant. They wouldn't dare..." Mikasa began, but then fell silent.       Levi smirked, looking her straight in the eye. She didn't believe it herself. They both knew it was impossible.       "And what about you? Holding up well? Almost jumped on a dick of goddamn nobody. Kirstein. Might as well be a stray dog."       Mikasa flushed instantly. If she'd had anything in her hands, she would have thrown it in his insolent face right then.       "You're despicable!"       "I'm honest."       His calm tone infuriated her. The Captain acted as if he were in control, as if he were somehow better than Jean, and may the Goddesses strike her down if Mikasa gave him control over herself.       "The guards will protect me," she said firmly.       "Those two?" Levi jerked his head towards the door, and Mikasa looked down.       Sir Kirstein and Sir Springer were good guards. She didn't doubt that. But if there really was a commotion? If the other alphas in the castle were drawn to her room? Could the guards protect her? More importantly, would they dare oppose those higher than they could ever aspire to be? Moreover, they had already concealed her status from those who should know first. Would they dig their own graves even deeper?       "Order the others," Mikasa declared, much less boldly now.       The Captain looked at her wearily, explaining as if to a child:       "By the time I deliver the order, and the guards get here, enough time will pass for you not to want to see them. You were just about to spend the evening with one of the guards. Want me to order them to do exactly that? Jean won't disobey my order."       Mikasa fell silent. Shame burned her cheeks. She knew herself that she had done something foolish, allowed herself unheard-of vulgarity. But what else could she do? And how she didn't want to admit that the Captain was right.       The realisation was bitter. A lump of impending tears rose in her throat, and Mikasa sank onto the pillows, pulling the light sheet closer to her. She had no choice. And Jean had brought the Captain here to restrain her. Setting aside her dislike—the Captain truly was the only one who could contain her now and not take advantage of her, if his vaunted control was more than just a pretty fabrication.       He answered only to her father and mother, the Imperial couple, which meant no one would now challenge his presence beside her. Jean, may the Goddesses help him, hadn't told anyone else. If a councillor had been in the room, the situation would have been entirely different. Maybe she simply had no other choice but to accept the Captain's help? At least he hadn't refused Jean and had come, even though he knew that if his actions were misinterpreted, he couldn't escape execution.       The pull in her abdomen grew stronger. How much time would pass before she spread her legs in front of him, begging to take her? Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut, chasing the delirious images from her mind.       A noise came from the room. Levi rose from the settee, stretched, and headed for the door.       "Well, you're right. I have no business here. I should go and report what's happening. They'll deal with you as is proper."       Mikasa felt the blood drain from her face. Fear stirred inside. Was he really going to leave her? Tell everyone? If he did that, she was finished. She'd be neutralised immediately, then sent far away, maybe they won't even wait for her parents to arrive. And then there'd be no talk of an engagement with Eren. Everything would be over for her.       Her entire being protested. Oh no, if the Captain was so sure she wouldn't last the night without him, she wouldn't let him leave this room.       "If you leave now, mother and father will have you executed!" she cried out, sitting up in bed again.       "We'll see," the Captain replied, turning around. The pale moonlight briefly illuminated his profile. His cold eyes glinted like steel. His determination was frightening. He turned away, calmly walking towards the door.       Mikasa was furious. She was no longer sure what rules he was playing by. Being in her chambers was forbidden for him, but her own guard had called him for help, so his actions could be justified. He couldn't leave the future empress in trouble, could he? He couldn't have known in advance what kind of problem it would be, and that her trouble would be her first heat.       Thoughts raced through her head as Levi reached the exit. Could anything make this man listen to her? If not, then he could go to hell! If something happened to her, it would be on his conscience! If her guards couldn't handle her protection, he would have to answer for it. Let him leave her alone; she felt bad enough without him, and with him it was simply unbearable. Appearing before the Captain in such a state was...       A new wave hit her unexpectedly. Her lower abdomen twisted with painful languor. She crumpled onto her side, curling into a ball, and couldn't hold back a moan. Her fingers scraped across the smooth sheet.       "Wait. Don't go," she said before she could think. Her own voice sounded foreign to her. Was she, the heiress to a great empire, pitifully asking the Captain to stay with her? Why, when moments ago she wanted him to leave?       From under half-closed lids, Mikasa watched in horror as he raised his hand over the massive door, about to knock. Her entire being resisted his scent becoming slightly fainter, and Mikasa clenched her teeth tighter, finally resigning herself to her position. Helplessness made her want to howl. She had no power over him. Her title, her lineage, meant nothing now. It was frightening, disarming. She had no choice but to beg.       "Please, stay..."       The Captain turned. His usually impassive face was now twisted with displeasure. Now she wasn't even worthy of him hiding his emotions from her.       The hurt made her want to sob, but Mikasa gathered the remnants of her pride, trying to maintain some composure. Though there was little left to preserve.       The Captain was right. She was in danger. Great danger. She couldn't resist, and there would surely be those in the castle who would find that to their taste. Everyone would want a piece of her. And there probably wouldn't be many like Jean who wouldn't take advantage. With Levi nearby, at least for now, she was protected. He was respected and feared, obeyed without question; while he was here, no one would touch her. As long as no one knew she was an omega, she had a chance. How humiliating.       He calmly returned to the settee; lounged back against it, arms hanging at his sides. He lay there, no longer looking at Mikasa, studying something on the ceiling, silent, as if her company bored him.       Mikasa might have objected, but she had less and less strength for it. And what could she say to him anyway?       The wave subsided. Mikasa slowly came back to herself. She had time until the next agonising surge.       The cool night air slightly soothed her fevered skin. Mikasa lay in bed, unable to sleep or think clearly. She found herself studying Levi as if seeing him for the first time. Only now did she realise she had never really looked at his face. Her gaze had always slid past, never lingering. She'd simply had no reason to give him her time. Now, the Captain commanded all her attention.       Short, fitting even on her settee, he still didn't look like a boy, as many said. Even through his loose shirt, the hills of trained muscles in his arms and shoulders were visible. He had refined, regular features. Even she couldn't call him unattractive. Stubble was darkening on his cheeks, though Mikasa had always seen the Captain exclusively clean-shaven.       His appearance had always been impeccable, she couldn't fault it, but now he seemed unkempt, with slightly disheveled hair and in these ordinary clothes. He had apparently been pulled straight from bed.       The thought that he had truly come to help crossed her mind. That was the only thing that could explain his appearance.       He wasn't mocking her. He was just there, watching over her to ensure nothing happened. And if he had wanted to harm her, he would have left long ago, told the councillor what had happened to her.       Instead, he was still here. Enduring both her outbursts and her scent.       An alpha cannot resist an omega's pheromones. That's the law. That's how the Goddesses made them. The pull towards an omega in heat is irresistible. Arousal comes quickly, often turning into a rut, and then nothing can stop an alpha from taking their prize. But Levi still seemed composed and calm.       The Ackerman clan was famous for its ability to resist nature, and for the first time in all this, Mikasa was grateful for the distant kinship. As long as Levi had Ackerman blood, she could be, if only a little, at ease. And just this evening, Mikasa had looked down on his lineage, thinking he only shamed her clan's name; now she felt something akin to gratitude.       The fact that he was here and not leaving her made them accomplices. This was high treason. And the Captain had broken at least two laws by being near her. Sooner or later, her heat would have to be reported, and then Levi would face execution, unless he found a way to justify himself, or unless her father's influence was strong enough to rewrite an unbreakable law.       That he had chosen death, even its possibility, for her sake—was disorienting. Maybe he was still obeying her and couldn't disobey an order? Just using the opportunity to mock her? After all, the Captain of the Guard served the imperial family. But Mikasa understood she was only fooling herself, pretending she still had the right to demand anything, to command anyone, despite clearly realising her rule had ended here.       But she herself belonged to the ancient Ackerman clan. Why couldn't she suppress this base desire? Why was she forced to accept help from the Captain? From a man whose lineage was so tarnished that all the maids combined couldn't cleanse it?       Anger and indignation kept building, seeking an outlet. She wanted to find some flaw in him, to wound him deeply, but Mikasa found nothing.       "You must enjoy watching me suffer, don't you?" she blurted out, barely managing her own thoughts. This all felt more like a nightmare than reality.       Levi turned to her, surprise flickering in his eyes. He was silent for a moment before answering:       "No, I don't enjoy it at all."       His voice sounded distracted, which disarmed Mikasa. So what was this man thinking? Not being able to understand his motives tormented her. She couldn't believe he truly, sincerely wanted to help her, risking both his rank and his life. Jean could sacrifice himself; he was infatuated with her, but Levi... he simply hated her. Every encounter between them ended in a verbal skirmish and an exchange of looks utterly unworthy of a future ruler.       Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut, turning away from him. Even looking in his direction was becoming difficult.       "If you didn't enjoy it, you wouldn't be sitting here so calmly beside me, watching me suffer with such pleasure. I can't understand why you're bothering with me."       "If I wanted to hurt you, you wouldn't be lying untouched in your bed right now, and I wouldn't be lounging on this damn settee like an idiot. Believe me, I'd much rather hand you over to the councillor and go to sleep."       Levi's voice was deeper, with notes of poorly concealed irritation.       Mikasa fell silent. The room again sank into the usual night quiet. Outside the windows, lush foliage rustled, and a cool breeze swayed the bed curtains, caressing her hot, moist skin.       She had to admit that Levi had been sitting nearby long enough for his mind to shut down and surrender to instinct, yet he still lounged casually on the settee, as if there were no omega in her first heat nearby. As if before him wasn't a princess, but merely an expensive object, a thing from a pretty collection, an exquisite painting—beautiful, alluring, but utterly useless.       His words stung. Mikasa was used to submission, to everyone around her respecting her and trying to please her. From the very beginning, the Captain had made it clear that status meant nothing to him, and she had preferred to ignore him. Maybe that was a mistake?       It was precisely his dislike that calmed Mikasa. If he was truly honest and she didn't interest him, then it was easier for him to cope with arousal. That only worked in her favour. And Mikasa had no doubt—he was aroused. However strong he was, nature still took its toll. He endured, endured remarkably well, but that didn't mean he could completely ignore his body's urges. This thought at least slightly pleased Mikasa. The Captain was suffering too. Maybe not as much as she was, but at least neither of them was happy about being locked in this room together.       Maybe that was exactly why she should trust him?       The Captain stirred, got to his feet, and paced the room. Mikasa turned to him, watching intently, and finally he answered her unspoken question:       "Getting sleepy. Don't want to open my eyes and find you on top of me."       Mikasa snorted indignantly, turning away. As if. He could keep his dirty fantasies to himself. No need for him to hope she'd jump to him.       In moments of clarity, Mikasa thought about what her life would become: she'd be married off to some important duke or someone of lesser rank, as long as he was an alpha. He'd take her to his province or estate, and she'd be a permanent hostage in his house. She couldn't leave the estate without him or an escort, couldn't speak with other men without his permission. She'd be forever locked away with other omega women, equally weak, will-less, and unfit for state affairs. Forever led, forced to submit.       Maybe she could survive it if she'd known everything from the start. Common women didn't suffer, did they? They were most often omegas. Surrounded by many others like them, they had almost no chance of awakening alpha genes. They understood their role from childhood. For Mikasa, a whole world was crumbling. She would be unhappy for the rest of her life, losing both her country and love.       Eren would look at her like at a piece of meat. If, of course, he would even be allowed to see her. If he even wanted to see her. For the Yeager family, this was a huge blow. They had so hoped to gain the throne through her...       Now everything fell into place. Her feelings, this boundless love. It had all hinted for a long time at what she was; Mikasa just never allowed herself to think that all along, a weak omega had been maturing inside her. If she had brothers or sisters, things might have been simpler, at least for the empire and her parents. What a blow this would be for them!       Mikasa was the only heir not because her parents didn't want more children. A seemingly harmonious union of alphas had its price: Mikasa was the only one they could produce.       A second, scarcely successful attempt only resulted in the birth of a stillborn baby boy. After that, her mother never announced another pregnancy.       Mikasa was their only hope for continuing the line. That's what made her hope and pray for the impossible. The empire was left without an heiress. It would pass into other hands, to the child of some fortunate concubine. And Eren... He was supposed to ascend the throne with her. Would he want her without power?       Mikasa didn't want to think about it. She wanted to believe that Eren also had tender feelings for her. He must have sensed an omega nearby, even if he didn't understand it. He should have been drawn to her too.       No. She wouldn't fool herself with vain hopes. Their marriage was meant to be a union of strong families. An alliance to strengthen positions. Expecting more from it was foolish.       As for an heir...       Her parents were different from many other rulers. Her father was faithful to her mother and kept no concubines, even though it left the country vulnerable. He had married out of pure affection, despite alphas not feeling natural attraction for each other.       Many criticised his choice. It was rumoured that the eastern clan was weakening, that too many omegas were being born, but Mikasa never thought about it. She couldn't even entertain the thought that her maturation would turn into a catastrophe. And now she had become that very thing. The weak link. The cause of catastrophe.       Thinking about it was unbearable, but her thoughts kept returning to the betrayal of her blood. She was already wondering which young duke would get her body, and she didn't want to be exiled to any of them.       Besides confinement in a noble alpha's estate, there was another option—she could enter a convent, serve the three Goddesses, find her calling in prayer, but that would bury her alive. However, wherever she looked, her options were meager and unappealing.       Moment by moment, it grew hotter. Her thoughts tangled; soon she wouldn't be able to control herself. She would dissolve into the urge of instinct and not know what she was doing. How much longer could she endure?       Her nightgown clung to her body; she wanted to wash off the oils. Everything inside ached, finding no release. Arousal squeezed her insides until it hurt. Her fingers clutched at pillows, at the sheet, at the fabric of her nightdress, but the tension didn't ease. Mikasa just moaned softly, no longer trying to hide her state, sprawled on the bed, breathing heavily.       Her hips seemed separate from her body, moving of their own accord, with no connection to her mind—lifting, arching her back, then lowering, spreading a wave of sticky, burning spasm through her body.       Relief didn't come. It twisted her again and again, and when it seemed the peak was near, pain replaced the heat.       Her muscles gave her only a moment's respite before repeating the cycle.       "Just help me already!" Her own voice sounded foreign. Mikasa forgot all propriety. All she wanted was relief.       Captain Levi's voice reached her dully:       "You know the only way. Endure."       Mikasa turned on her side. The pillows felt as hot as her body. The heat melted her from within, refusing to subside.       "I can't anymore, please, think of something..."       She moaned again, writhing on the bed, trying to ease the painful tension. Shame no longer troubled her. It didn't matter that she was behaving improperly. No, that wasn't it.       She didn't care. So much so that she would let anyone take her. She wouldn't think twice. Just to be free of this heat, this desire that turned her inside out.       "Are you just going to sit there and watch me suffer and humiliate myself?" she flared up again, but her voice no longer had such force. Once bright and resonant like a swift spring stream, it now rustled like sap-filled leaves in the garden.       Levi was silent, and with each moment, hope faded. His refusals struck blows at her self-esteem. Couldn't even a future empress in her first heat break down the walls of his restraint?       "I can't help. It's not like I'm going to touch you. You're an Ackerman too; you can endure. Pull yourself together."       Coolness drifted in from the window. Her skin seemed to cool slightly, and her body relaxed again. Tears welled up from hurt. Why did this have to happen to her, of all the generations of Ackermans before her?       Her mind cleared a little. The pain receded. The wave subsided, fading into pulsating echoes throughout her body.       Physical pain gave way to emotional pain. The realisation of her hopeless situation, worries about the future, gave her no rest, but at least the hormones granted her a respite. Mikasa exhaled loudly.       "Better?"       The Captain's voice irritated her. Now that she had come back to herself, she felt his presence too keenly. He had seen and heard everything happening to her. She disgusted herself.       She was behaving unworthily and couldn't do anything about it. And worst of all, the Captain was now her only ally. Her hope that she still had a chance to keep power in her hands.       "How do you do it? How do you endure? There must be some secret," Mikasa asked, while her mind could still think. When her body reached its peak, she would completely lose control. She mustn't allow that. And if there was anything that could help her manage herself, she would take advice even from the Captain. Especially from him.       "You're an omega. I have no idea what you're supposed to do to stop a heat."       His small figure paced the room, flickering before her tired eyes. Mikasa was exhausted, but she wouldn't fall asleep tonight.       She turned away again. Her throat was getting dry. She shook as if with fever. This was an illness. An epidemic. An unfair twist of fate. She and hundreds of thousands like her were forced to endure this humiliation, this eternal battle with their own nature.       Commoners had it easier—take a husband and copulate to your heart's content. If Mikasa were like them, she would already be free of this vile, painful desire.       An heiress shouldn't want something so badly.       Through the fog of rising arousal again, Mikasa heard Levi pacing. The clink of his boots was the only thing keeping her thoughts in any order. He walked back and forth, and Mikasa fell silent. She hoped she would finally exhaust herself and fall asleep, and in the morning it would all be just a nightmare. There'd be no heat, no Levi in her room, and she hadn't arched on the bed like a whore, begging her own guard to take her.       Levi surveyed the perimeter of the room, pacing from window to window, from settee to door and back, keeping his distance.       Mikasa closed her eyes, exhausted, tired. Between her legs it was disgustingly wet; she wanted to bathe again, but had no strength left. She felt like she was falling asleep. Consciousness drifted away from her, and Mikasa didn't try to hold onto it. She let her thoughts flow freely, not grasping at any of them. Eren, the empire, the guards outside the door, her mother's flowers—all mixed together like in a dream, images replacing one another.       A thick, sharp scent, like her mother's favourite black tea, hit her nose. Pleasant. Surely she was imagining something that might ease her suffering. Mikasa opened her eyes slightly, trying to see what was emitting this calming aroma, and then her eyes flew wide open, staring ahead. No. It simply couldn't be. He...       Captain Levi was looking directly at her. His eyes, darkening in the twilight, reflected such a lingering longing, such pain, as if something he desperately wanted had been taken from him.       Why had he come closer? Did he think she was asleep? Decided to check?       Horror seized her, squeezed so tight that for a moment the desire receded. She sat up in bed, moved further away, almost crawling onto the pillows, and raised a pleading gaze to the Captain. Let him explain to her what was really happening. They simply couldn't be... This shouldn't...       Mikasa understood everything. Understood so clearly that she felt uneasy again. He was looking at her, knowing he could never have her. That even now, desperately wanting her, he couldn't even touch the one he truly needed.       He knew.