The Chronicles of Theon Pastajoy: The Ballad of the Ultimate Cringe

Theon Pastajoy, now better known as the «Diarrhea Geyser», dragged out his miserable existence, relegated to the status of cattle on the outskirts of the castle. Ramsay Bolton, relishing every moment of his humiliation, forced him to perform the filthiest and most disgusting tasks. One day, Ramsay ordered Theon to deliver a sack of grain to a nearby village. The sack turned out to be huge and heavy, and dragging it along the bumpy road was true torture. Exhausted and hungry, Theon stopped several times to catch his breath. At one of these moments, he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. Realizing things were going south, Theon dove into the nearest bushes. What happened next exceeded all his worst nightmares. After long and agonizing straining, Theon felt something fall out of him. It was something long, wet, and slippery. At first, Theon was terrified, thinking he was dying. But then, catching his breath, he decided to examine what had come out. Looking closely, Theon breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t a part of his insides, but just a thick rope! — Someone must have dropped it here — Theon thought. Forgetting the pain and humiliation, Theon rejoiced at the find. The rope was just in time, as the grain sack was poorly tied and threatened to spill at any moment. Without thinking twice, Theon picked up the «rope» and began to tie the bag with it. It turned out to be very long, and Theon managed to wrap it around the sack several times, tightening it firmly. Satisfied with his resourcefulness, Theon shouldered the sack and continued on his way. After a while, one of Bolton’s soldiers, sent by Ramsay to check why Theon was taking so long, caught up with him. Seeing Theon, the soldier froze. His face twisted in a grimace of horror and disgust. — Pastajoy! What is this… what is this?! — The soldier croaked, pointing at the grain sack. Theon, puzzled, shrugged his shoulders. — A sack, as you can see. Taking grain to the village. What’s wrong? — The soldier, struggling to overcome his nausea, pointed at the rope tied around the sack. — You… don’t you see?! That… that is your gut! — Theon turned pale. He slowly lowered the sack to the ground and stared in horror at the «rope». Only now did he realize that it wasn’t a rope, but a part of his own intestine, which had accidentally fallen out along with the diarrhea and which he had taken for a useful item. Theon screamed in terror and loathing. He rushed to the nearest river, trying to wash off the remains of feces and the realization that he had just tied a sack of grain with his own intestine. The soldier, not knowing what to do, hurried to report the incident to Ramsay. Ramsay, hearing this story, was in indescribable delight. He summoned all his people and forced Theon to repeat his «feat» in front of the whole company. Theon was forced to lug that grain sack all over the castle, demonstrating his «intestinal rope» to everyone he met. The soldiers laughed, spat at him, and poked him with their fingers. Since then, Theon Pastajoy received another nickname — «Intestinal Rope», which finally sealed his status as the most humiliated and disgusting creature in all the Seven Kingdoms. He became a living embodiment of shame and disgust, a creature that evoked only laughter, pity, and revulsion. LOOL! Even death could not wash away this shameful stain.