Whispering Suits

Nothing is quite as awful as a funeral. Except, maybe, your mum's funeral. I've been dreading today, and if it was just me I had to think about I probably wouldn't be going to this shit show, but, it's not really about what I need. That's the worst things about funeral's, I think. They're not really for the people you think they are. You'd think today would be for us, her family, her kids, but that's not how it feels. I know she wouldn't want all this black, it's too cold, too impersonal. Mum loved bright colours, I mean, just look at this house. Every room is packed with her murals and bright colours. I walk across the toon and look at the painting of the Selkie on my bedroom wall and can't help but smile. I close my eyes, and I can picture the day we painted it together. I did the waves, which is why they're a mess, and mum did the Selkie. She would tell me all the Faerie stories as she painted them, and sometimes I could swear the painting came to life with her words. I'm startled out of the memory by the soft tingling of bells. My head snaps to the window, the charm above it is swaying, I realise after a moment that I'm holding my breath, and once I'm sure it's nothing but the wind, I let out a sigh. I will need to see about making a new charm, this one is getting old now and I'm not sure how effective it would be at dissuading any Fae who might be passing by. Though, I don't know if we'll even be staying here yet. Gran has been talking to the solicitor about 'our' options, which I'll need to argue with her at some point no doubt. For now, I finish getting ready. I only have one black shirt, I got it for a play I did with school and one of the buttons popped off so Mum had replaced it with a gold one, she said it would help me stand out on stage. I stroke the single gold button, and hope it can give me the strength to get through today. Gran had bought me a new pair of trousers and the fabric is scratching my skin, but I try to ignore it as I pull on my purple boots. I straighten myself up a little in the mirror, and then I hear the familiar sounds of small footsteps and I'm at the door before Daniel can knock. His eyes are red, and I pull him in for a hug. I feel him breathe out into my shoulder as his little arms wrap around me. 'Hey bud" I say quietly, I run my hands along his back and stifle a chuckle as I realise he's still in his PJs. "You doing alright?" I ask. He shakes his head, his little curls bouncing around his ears as he keeps his head buried in me. I feel his hands grip me tight. "Did you have a bad dream again?" I ask gently, even though I know the answer is yes. After all, I've been having the same nightmares. He nods, and I pat his head. He turns his head just enough to speak and whispers "The monster... It's going to get me". I wrap my arms around him, as tight as they will go. "Shh, it's okay. The monster isn't going to get you. You're ok". We sit like that for a moment, and then I hear Gran sighing as she comes up the stairs. "Are you not ready yet? We can't be late you know". I lift my head to look at her, trying my best to stay calm for Daniel's sake. "I know. But Dan had another bad dream and needs a minute. I'll help him get ready, we won't be late alright". Gran shakes her head. "We'll be quick, I need to make sure you both eat something before we have to leave, and make sure to wrap him up, it's cold out". I nod, and she walks back downstairs. I can hear her as she goes into the kitchen and starts to get food ready. "Right, come on bud. Remember what mum always said, we have to be brave and face the day. So, can you be brave for me?" Daniel pulls out of our hug, his little face red from crying but he puts on a wobbly smile and nods at me. "I can be brave, like you Indy". I wipe his face with my sleeve and together we head to his room. Gran has laid out the new clothes she bought him, but it feels so wrong to put his little arms in the suit. It's a little big on him, and is a far cry from his usual bright shirts and dungarees. Daniel sits on the edge of his bed and I sit behind him to brush his hair, he leans back into me slightly and I can see he's trying not to cry. Mum always brushed his hair for him, and I have to stop for a moment to wipe my own tears from my eyes. I finish by tying the laces on his new shoes, the shiny leather looks too clean, too perfect, especially on his small feet. Once he's ready, I straighten up the jacket and place my hands on his shoulders. "Okay, now remember, you can hold my hand whenever you need to, okay. And don't worry about anything Gran or anyone else says, you and I are staying together". Daniel looks at me, his eyes brimming. "You promise?" He says, his voice barely a whisper. I pull him in for another hug. "I promise". When we get downstairs, I sit Daniel at the table and grab him a glass of orange juice, moving the apple juice Gran had poured out the way. She spots this and tuts at me. "You can't coddle him, you know, he's going to have to learn to be less picky". I shoot her a glare, and protectively wrap one arm around his shoulder. "It's not coddling, it's knowing what he likes. For today, can you just not? I don't have the energy to fight with you about this, and what's more important, a glass of orange juice or making sure Dan actually eats his breakfast?" Gran opens her mouth, then closes it again. "Well, alright. But he best behave himself. It's a serious affair, we need to put our best foot forward today. It's what Bea...what your mother would have wanted". I nod, and finish getting Daniel sorted with breakfast. I help myself to a slice of toast and drink the cup of tea Gran has laid out for me. It's too sweet, and she's added way too much milk, but it's warm and I know I'll need the energy. I look out the kitchen room window, the sky is a light grey and there are some clouds on the horizon. As the wind blows a stream of red, yellow and orange leaves fall from the tree that stands at the end of the garden. The pumpkin we carved together sits on the window ledge, I can feel the energy in the air, and though I know Daniel and Gran can't see it, I can see the swirls of magic flowing outside. It is Samhain after all, I wonder how mum feels about her funeral being on Halloween. Gran had wanted to wait, have the funeral in November, she thought it would be more respectable. It had been an awful fight, but in the end it was Daniel who won her over. Dan is Gran's big weakness, though it's hard not to love him. With those big eyes and his beautiful curls, he looks just like a cherub from a painting. Gran had given in and let us pick the date when he started crying, poor kid. Today is going to be hard for both of us, but he's so young, does he even understand what is happening? I make sure to wrap Daniel in a scarf before we leave. Gran has ordered a posh black car to drive us, and it stands out like a sore thumb parked at the end of our modest house. Really, it's more of a cottage, but don't tell Gran that. I help Dan buckle his belt, and we set off. When Gran isn't looking, Dan stretches out his arm and takes my hand, squeezing it tight, and I'm not sure if it's to comfort himself or me. I squeeze back, and steady myself for the day ahead. Hopefully, this whole affair might not be as terrible as I'm expecting.