Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Edelgard rolled over and nuzzled into Hubert's chest, not wanting to wake up quite yet. She could feel the dawn peeking through the curtains and see the light even through her closed eyes. She heard a small chuckle of amusement come from him and he ran a hand through her hair. "Not wanting to wake up quite yet, my-- Edelgard?" he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead.   She shook her head. "No..." she muttered, snuggling into him further. She had been warm and comfortable, but the night had been a bit restless and her sleep hadn't been very deep. There had been no nightmares or anything, but some nights could just be restless even for the best of them. She yawned and tucked against his chest, keeping her eyes shut. She really didn't want to wake up quite yet.   Eventually, though, dawn became more insistent and she sighed, opening her eyes. She was met by seeing Hubert looking down at her, a soft smile on his face. He kissed her gently and wrapped his arms around the small of her back. "Good morning." His voice remained incredibly soft and she leaned up, bumping her forehead against his.   "Morning." She yawned widely, covering her mouth with one hand. She would probably be fine to function that day, but damn if she didn't want to stay in bed. But she needed to get up and about. She needed to do her training for the day to start getting back into shape. She still wasn't particularly looking forward to anything regarding pregnancy but she would need to be at peace with it sooner rather than later. It would make her be laid up and not be able to do anything she wanted to do from the sound of it... How frustrating.   "Want me to order us some breakfast?" She nodded at his words and sat up, stretching as she did so. Yeah, she kind of wanted today to be lazy, but she would have to embrace everything in her limited time before she got pregnant. She wanted to be outside and doing things and being active before she was too big to be able to sit in a saddle and horseback ride. She probably wouldn't be able to be out too much of the falconry season either... Well. Assuming everything went to plan with the timing.   It didn't take too long for them to get their breakfast then eat. They sent back the dishes and Edelgard rested against Hubert, him running his hand through her hair. "So what would you like to do today? I assume go down to the training grounds but...what aside from that?" As usual, he was being incredibly patient with her and she was glad. She honestly hadn't made her mind up, but she needed to figure it out sooner rather than later.   "Good question. I'm not entirely sure... I'm honestly just feeling a bit lazy today... Even the thought of going down to the training grounds doesn't sound good." She had extremely limited time before she got pregnant, but today just felt like she wanted to not do anything. She kind of just wanted to stay in bed. She wasn't one to be struck with this feeling too often but when it struck, it struck pretty hard. She really just wanted to stay snuggled up against Hubert and not really do anything.   "There's nothing wrong with having a lazy day every so often. If that's what you want to do, then it's what you want to do. You have been expending a lot of mental energy on the games lately... Maybe that's gotten to you." That could be it. But she felt wrong when she had a lazy day... She really did. She was so used to going and doing in some form or another. Usually she was being productive in court or in her lessons... Well. She hadn't been in lessons in a very long time, not since Garreg Mach. She had learned a lot there, though most of the duties got delegated to her cousin, the current Duke of House Gerth. Well. They weren't related by blood, but considering Juliane was married into House Hresvelg, they might as well be cousins. He was a good man, much unlike his father. He truly, deeply regretted what had happened to Petra and the rest of House Hresvelg. It was good to have support when she'd had none for so much of her life.   "Yeah, that is true... Maybe I should just read today." She paused for a moment as her mind wandered. "You do know a lot about sex, Hubert, so I was wondering if there was anything you might want to do or add in that I could read up on." She could go to the library which wasn't a huge deal. The sex section was...rather large, so she was pretty sure she could find anything he might be interested in.     He practically choked and she looked up at him, only to see his face flushed to the point he looked sunburned. "I...wasn't expecting that. I do know a lot, yes... I...don't want you to feel like you have to do anything I suggest or know about. If you want to explore things, we can, but, I, uh..." It was always funny to see him so flustered over things. Her mind had just wandered a little bit. She supposed it was a pretty abrupt change in topic... But she was curious to know if there was anything he might want to do in particular...   "You know more than I do, Hubert; I'm open to suggestions." She smiled up at him, completely at ease with it. As usual, she was fine with his counsel and whatever he'd give her. She wasn't against learning different things in the slightest. She was trying her best to brush up and also be a good wife... If he wanted to pursue anything that was outside of incredibly normal, safe sex, she was pretty willing to hear it. "...Granted, about the only thing I don't want to do is mix pleasure and  pain. That might remind me of the Crest experiments and, well, it just doesn't sound like it'd be fun in general..." She shook her head. Her body was pretty sensitive in general, so yeah, the idea of being whipped or something like that didn't sound appealing to her in the slightest.   Hubert's face drained of color and he shook his head, holding her close to himself. "Never. I would never want to do that to you. I don't get any satisfaction out of torture, honestly. I know some people can enjoy it, but I have no desire to do that to anybody...let alone to you in terms of intimacy. I only use torture when it's absolutely necessary." His tone was a little frantic and panicked. She had definitely hit a spot for him, so she leaned up and kissed him. She lingered there. HIs lips were tense, but he slowly relaxed into the kiss, resting one hand on her cheek.   "It's okay, Hubert. I'm not going to force you into anything you're uncomfortable with. If you don't want to do something with me, then you have every right to say no to it. I was just saying that was one line I didn't want to cross personally. I don't mean to upset you..." She felt bad. She really hadn't meant to make him panic or anything of the like. It was just one thing she wouldn't really like to do due to the possibility of it triggering memories for her of the Crest experiments.   He nodded, though he still looked panicked and upset. "Okay. I really don't want to do anything like that to you. But if you did want it, I suppose I would..."   She shook her head. "No, I don't. And like I just said, if you're uncomfortable with something, you have just as much right to say no to it as I do. Consent goes two ways, Hubert." She was trying to get him to see that he was just as important as she was even though he might not believe it. She had read in the books that everyone had every right to say no. Anything less than full consent was dubious at absolute best and shouldn't be pushed. She wouldn't want to force him into it, not that she wanted that particular fetish anyway... It just sounded very off putting.   "I suppose you're right... There are some ideas I have but I'm not sure if I want to push them on you yet, my-- Edelgard."   She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed their foreheads together, moving in as close as she could. "I told you I want ideas... I'm not against hearing anything you might want to do. As long as I can read up on the idea a bit and give more informed consent, I'm happy to hear you out. You are not pushing me when I'm the one asking." She saw no reason to say outright no to ideas he might have. She did want to keep things spicy between them if at all possible... She knew they were still pretty early in; they had only had sex twice. But she wouldn't mind hearing him out and reading up on anything he might find interesting.   He hesitated a bit before nodding slowly. "I suppose you're right... You're asking... I just wanted to keep things more tame before branching out into kink... But there are ways for kink to be tamer... Not everything has to be hardcore sadism and masochism." His grip on her tightened a bit and he kissed her head. She really didn't know what all kink would entail to be honest. She had only read the absolute most basic books on the subject. Anything outside of the narrow scope of basics, she really had knowledge. Other than that pleasure and pain thing, she wasn't against hearing basically any idea out.   He was quiet for a few minutes, obviously mulling things over before he spoke, although it seemed a bit hesitant. "Well. One of the potentially softer kinks would be edging and orgasm denial. It can be done in myriad ways and it's not really mixing pleasure and pain in the way you were thinking... Though it can be a psychological pain if it's done in certain ways. Nothing physical involved." She pulled back a bit and looked up at him, tilting her head. She had no idea what this would be. He chuckled softly. "Want me to explain?"   "Yeah... I'm not really sure what you're getting at just by the name alone. I can hazard a guess at orgasm denial, but edging?" She shook her head. She was trying to figure out what it might be but she couldn't really figure it out.   "Well, they're closely linked which is why I said them together. It's really not a hard thing to understand too much. Edging and denial are basically messing around with orgasm. Edging is when you take someone right to the edge of orgasm then pull back. You can do any number of times to build things up to a pretty good fever pitch. Denial, meanwhile, is just straight-up denial of orgasm. And the thing is they can be done in a single sexual session or stretched out for a long time. Then there's a related concept called ruined orgasm where you let the person go over but stop all stimulation to deny them the full experience."   "Insidious. Sounds like something you'd enjoy." She chuckled a bit and saw his cheeks go a hint red. She smiled and kissed him. "I'm just poking fun, Hubert. I'm not actually mad at you or anything. It just very much does sound like something you'd enjoy doing, based on your personality. Do you think you could find some good books in the library for me to read up on it?" The basic concept wasn't something she was necessarily against. She just wanted to have more information it was all. If she decided she was intrigued, they could do it and experiment. She really wasn't against trying and experimenting with most things...   "Yes... I know quite a few titles that give good information on it. If you'll excuse me for a while." He kissed her head then changed into something a bit more appropriate to go out in. While he was gone, she settled back down into bed and closed her eyes. She really was trying her best to be active and not squander this time, but today, she just felt like doing nothing. She knew she should be training and such, but it just wasn't something she felt like doing.   Apparently she had dozed off because, by time Hubert came back, he lightly shook her. "I have several books, my-- Edelgard." He rested his hand on a stack of books on the nightstand.   "Thanks, Hubert." She smiled at him and sat up, yawning and stretching a bit. He climbed back in next to her and she grabbed the first book, then settled against him to read. The rest of the day was relatively quiet with her not doing much other than reading. If she had questions for Hubert, then she'd ask them, but for the most part, the books did a pretty good job of explaining things for her. The three or four books covered the topic in what she felt like was a pretty good manner that was comprehensive. She was pretty sure her cheeks were a bit flushed, though, due to the language used and how blunt things were. But it was better to not pussyfoot around when it came to stuff like this.   Eventually, the day wound down and they found themselves in the bath, Edelgard a bit quiet. "Is everything fine? Did...reading that upset you at all?" Hubert's voice was quiet, clearly a bit on edge. A glance at him revealed him to be a bit pale even for him. He was clearly worried he had overwhelmed her with what he'd suggested for her to read on.   She shook her head and smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him. "If you're worried you overwhelmed me or anything of the like, then you didn't. You made a suggestion and I chose to delve into the topic. There's nothing wrong with suggesting things especially when I was the one to ask in the first place." She gently ran her hand down the side of his face and bumped their foreheads together, trying to reassure him. He was fretting far too much again... She didn't realise he would be so insecure when it came to the sex stuff... She was supposed to be the one that was afraid and nervous. Their roles were  basically flipped right now... It was odd.   "I'm sorry; I'm just so used to fretting over you and worrying about how anything can impact your wellbeing, be it mentally, emotionally, or physically. So when you were so quiet even for you...it made me worry. You are fine, though... I would have known if you were upset since, to be frank, my-- Edelgard, you are incredibly easy to read." Edelgard sighed at his words. Yeah, she was easy to read no matter how much she tried to mask. She wasn't cut out for court like he was. Even Juliane and Augusta. She simply didn't have the same mental fortitude as most of the people around her to try to prop herself up.   "I get it, Hubert; I really do. But yeah, you would have known if I wasn't okay with it. Was I flustered over what I read? Yeah, sure, but that's not really a surprise, is it? This is all so new to me and I don't know what to expect outside of the basics. This kink stuff is definitely...way outside of the realm what I even thought possible for sex. But I'm not against learning about it and trying to make an informed decision about if I want to do it or not." She leaned up and kissed his forehead, trying to reassure him she truly was okay with this. She wasn't trying to go against what he was comfortable with either... She knew there was a lot more to this since the books alluded to other things like bondage and such... She had a lot to learn and she knew it.   He nodded. "I have learned a lot through the years. I just didn't expect you to want to involve other things so quickly. But I think this is a good way to start slowly. It's nothing incredibly hardcore or intense like other things can be. I know how intense torture can get so..." He let out a breath. "Still, I cannot believe there are people that involve torture in their sessions for pleasure..." She couldn't either. It was so mind boggling to think that people thought pleasure and pain could be mixed and even become the same thing.   His cheeks did take a tinge of pink as he spoke again. "Though... I suppose you are right that I wouldn't mind playing around with denial and edging... Again, we don't have to get into long-term denial or anything like that immediately... I'd rather just mess around with it lightly before we really decide on anything. What did you think about the concept before I get too ahead of myself...?" He cleared his throat, his cheeks redding just a little bit more.   She felt her own face heat up. "I mean... I'm not against the idea if we just wanted to play around with it or not. I can't guarantee if I'll like it, but we can play around with it a bit." Long-term denial sounded absolutely horrendous to her, but who knew, she might like it and want to get into it... Though if she did end up with her consorts romantically and sexually, it would make things a lot more complicated. But she was getting way, way too ahead of herself as she so often did. Right now things were day by day. She didn't have to worry about the full future of the Empire when they were still building their bond and deepening it to help ensure that House Hresvelg wouldn't end with her. "All right then. Whenever you want to mess around with it, let me know and we can do that." He tilted her head up by resting a hand on her cheek and kissed her softly, though there was warmth and a bit of spark behind it. It was nice to see Hubert expressing himself more effectively... He'd been forced to shove his emotions down for so long for her good. Honestly, he was doing pretty well considering they hadn't been together that long. After he broke apart, she nodded and smiled. "I will." She wasn't entirely sure when she'd want to have sex next... It might just depend on her mood. But she'd let him know if she wanted to mess with it or not. With that done, their bath wrapped up and they headed back to bed. It felt strange to have done almost nothing that day. But he dried her hair and they spent a little bit of time on magic. After the sun had nearly set, they curled up in bed and fell asleep. He held her close and she stayed tucked up against him through the night, warm and comfortable in his embrace.