Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Edelgard shifted and woke up as the first light of dawn peeked through the curtains that remained open. She didn't move as she could sense Hubert was still asleep. She closed her eyes an remained nestled against him, tucked safely up underneath his arm. She felt so safe, warm, and protected like this... Not that she hadn't before but after the nght they had shared...she really did feel connected to him in a way she never had before. Not that their first night together hadn't let her feel lie that. But now that she was *actually* enjoying herself... She was glad to be able to share this connection to him.   She simply laid there until she felt him move and she hear him yawn. "Good morning," she murmured. She shifted up so she could lay face to face with him, and she saw him with a very soft, gentle smile on his face. Softer than any she could recall seeing on his face. It almost seemed like something had changed from his eyes. She wasn't sure, but it just felt like there was something...different in his yellow eyes.   "Good morning."  He bumped their foreheads together and caressed her cheek. She smiled and leaned into the gentle affection, glad he was so willing to give her what seh needed. She wasn't sure how naturally affectionate he was, but he seemed to be willing to give her what she needed... And, well, she frankly needed a *lot* of affection and touch. She was so glad that he loved her... She still couldn't say if she reciprocated romantically or not but she definitely did love him in her own way.   "You know you could've woken me up, right? You didn't *have* to wait for me to wake up..." He trailed off and she shrugged.   "I didn't want to. Plus...the quiet was nice." Not that they didn't spend plenty of time in the quiet, but the gentle warmth that came with these early-morning cuddle sessions was nice. She really was glad they could start off their day with being so close and having a private time to themselves. Once they returned to Enbarr, she wouldn't get that much time with him. She'd be pregnant and the baby would eat up most of their alone time. She would have to find and hire a wet nurse, though, since she didn't want to get up in the middle of the night. She wasn't going to leave her child to carers all hours of the day. She *wanted* to be invovled with raising her children. But it would be hard to with her on the throne...   It wasn't something she had to worry about right now. She shouldn't be driving herself crazy with all the details.   She banished the thoughts and returned to the right now with Hubert and their foreheads touching. "What's on our mind?" he asked quietly.   "Just me trying to make plans before things are even certain as I so often do." She didn't want him worrying right now when she shouldn't have even been worrying herself. It might take time to conceive. It usually did from what she'd been told in her long talk the other day. But with magic... Well, there was a higher than average chance that she'd end up conceiving. And mulitple at that... If she had two or more, it would help shut the advisers up than just a single heir would.   "Yes, you are prone to that..." He ran a hand down the side of her face and she touched their noses together, closing her eyes. "But it's not like I'm not either... So I have no room to talk really. Though with what's going on, I have a guess where your mind is. I know you're worried and I am too but...we have the best care possible. You're Empress. That comes with the best mages, healers, and midwives possible. I don't think you have to worry too much." That was true... She really did have the best care possible. The only person who could provide better care would probably be Flayn but she doubted Seteth would let her leave and come to Enbarr to work alongside Mirjam... Maybe she could move to Garreg Mach in the month or two before she gave birth... She would just feel more comfortable if she had somebody as knowledgeable as Flayn helping her deliver. "Still, I would like Flayn there. I'm not sure if Seteth would let her come to Enbarr... Or maybe I should just go to Garreg Mach..." She sighed. Childbirth was one of the most dangerous things that anybody could go through. It was fraught with danger and went on for far too long. She really, really had no idea what to do. But she would also be getting to know her potential consorts at that point. She didn't want to uproot everyone and go to Garreg Mach. Plus, Hubert would be on the throne and she didn't want to be without him. She had no idea how to accomplish all of this. It might be best to stay in Enbarr… "That is a complicated desire to have with everything else. I don't want to leave the throne unattended, but it wouldn't be like it wouldn't be in good hands... Her Eminence knows how to handle it well." That was true, so it wasn't like that.. But still... Hubert said he would handle the throne in her stead. She still didn't want to be without him. She just really had no idea how to handle all of this. There were so many moving pieces. Juliane was in charge of the throne for the next few months while she hopefully conceived and would end up pregnant. She still really didn't want this but there was no holding off the advisers any longer. Hubert kissed her, then kissed her head. "We don't have to have everything worked out right now. So don't worry right now, all right? One day at a time for the time being." He smiled at her and she nodded. "Yeah, that probably is the best way to handle things..." She didn't need to start stressing herself out right now. She would have time to make plans once she was certain she was with child. For now... It was about them coming closer together and strengthening their bonds as a couple. "So what do you want to do today?" MIght as well focus on today like he had said. She would still let them relax today but she hoped they could start really getting a move on with other things tomorrow. "Well, continue relaxing as we have been. Tomorrow, though... We can do what you want. Though don't be surprised if I still request a day here or there to recover. I'm primarily a mage. I don't have the same...enthusiasm for being outside and being active as you are. So can you agree to stop and slow down on the occasions I request it?" Edelgard nodded and nuzzled their noses together. "Of course. Whatever you need. Just name it and I'll do it." She smiled at him. Being a couple was all about compromise and figuring out how to meet halfway with things. She would keep them outside all day if she could. She wouldn't want to stay outside for extended weeks to sleep, but going up in the mountains for a few days? She absolutely would do that with him if he was game for it. She really wanted to get all of the physical activity in she could before she was chained to the throne again. Well. She wouldn't be on the throne for nine or so months (she didn't want to just leave her child or children to caretakers as soon as she recovered from birth...) but still... She would be getting to know her consorts once she got back to Enbarr, assuming they agreed to come. It still felt strange to think that she was requesting that of absolute strangers. But her father had been strangers with most of his wives at one point… "Though if you want to go down to the training grounds and run drills first thing this morning, we can do that." She nodded. That did sound good. He wouldn't be doing anything other than watching. She wanted to get back in shape. She was so flabby and her well-defined muscles had vanished over time as she hadn't kept up with her training. She had never been so soft in her life... She was so frustrated that she had let herself go so much. "Yeah, I'd like that. We should probably get some breakfast first though." Hubert nodded his agreement and they got dressed, then ordered breakfast. It came a little while later and, after finishing that, they started to head down to the training grounds. But she offered her hand to Hubert and he blinked before smiling. He took it and she interlaced their fingers. She did want to grow closer to him if at all possible... Of course, they were already incredibly close due to their long relationship together, but still... As a couple, they had a lot of growing to do. She was glad he wasn't rebuffing her affections and attempts to have things grow between them. "Think we should play games outside again today?" Edelgard looked at Hubert who smiled and nodded. "I think that sounds fine. We can also introduce some new games. Though...we should probably pick upon that chess match at some point too." Yeha, he was right about that. She had been the one to ask about chess... Though she really did need a day or so to study the chess book to get more ideas on it. She was a visual learner to some degree, so seeing diagrams would help her immensely. "All right; that sounds fine." She smiled up at Hubert. She honestly wouldn't say no to the new games. She really was enjoying exploring games and finding out what she liked to play and what she didn't. She seemed to favor games with simple rules but were pretty complex in terms of strategy and movement. She wouldn't mind playing a bit more senet or fox and geese. She really was having a fun time with all of this. Her mind did wander a little bit as they continued walking. "Do you think we could have a game day every so often after we get back to Enbarr?" She...kind of didn't want the games to stop once they returned to semi-normal life. "I think I can take a day off from the throne every so often to play games with my beautiful wife." Edelgard felt her cheeks heat up at that. She knew he found her attractive but to hear him admit it like that... It was different. She didn't hate it, though. It was just unexpected. She squeezed his hand then rested her head against his shoulder for a brief moment to let him know she was okay. "That sounds great then." She could remember the vacation her family had gone on for a few months when she'd been a child. The same one that had left her afraid of the sea and water in general. She would enjoy playing these games with her potential consorts as long as they also enjoyed games... She would probably have to broaden her horizons on what types of games she played, though. They probably wouldn't enjoy the narrow range of things she did... She really needed to start making a list of things she could do once she got back to Enbarr in order to get to know and bond with the women she was bringing in...   "How about we just go to the game room and play today? We can test out all sorts of new games." Hubert smiled at her and she tapped her chin before nodding. That would probably be bst. They could do a round or two of a specific game before moving on. Though, for now, she was going to run her drills in the training grounds. She really needed to get back into shape. Though it wouldn't be long until she was pregnant... She still wasn't fond of that. She wished she could have made the choice on when to be with child, but she had burned through all of her ways to get around the advisers and their requests.   "All right." With that, they fell silent and made their way to the training grounds. She ran through a couple rounds of advanced drills which really did make her pant. She was so out of shape that it was frustrating. She wished she hadn't let herself go like she had but hindsight was a bitch. She really hadn't had the time to deal with it. She had to get up and deal with the court before others could make their moves. WOrking with Ferdinand and the others had been hard, but she was glad that she had managed to do so. Duke Aegir hadn't escaped empty handed and gotten off the hook. She'd come down on him as hard as she possibly could for all of the horrible things he'd done to the Imperial family. Having the backing of the Church had only helped with that.   After a couple of hours, they headed back up to their room where she changed into a fresh dress and headed to the game room. There were dozens of games in the room, organised by place of origin. He introduced her to the game tablut first. The game was another unequal game so they both had different sets of pieces. At first, it was a bit difficult to wrap her mind around, but by the second round, she got it.   The rest of the day was relatively quiet due to the fact that they were jumping from game to game. She had to focus on the rules and form strategies. Most of the games were some form of strategy game which... While she did enjoy it, she wasn't sure if her potential consorts would find enjoyment in them. She hoped they would because it would be a great way to bond with each other.   After the sun had begun its descent down to the horizon again, they headed back to their room and to the bath. She smiled as she took care of Hubert's hair. "Today was fun, if a bit busy. I found a lot of games I enjoyed." That would give them more to work with in regards to their game days like this once they got back. She hoped she'd be able to share this with her potential consorts. She would really need a way to bond with them. She just really wanted to have a good relationship with them if at all possible. Juliane and most of the other Imperial women of the former generation had a great relationship. Aside from Helga and Anselma, all of the women had found Juliane to be a good source of support and care.   "I'm glad to hear it, my-- Edelgard. Would you like to pick up on the chess match for a little while after we get out of here?" Edelgard looked up at the ceiling to consider before nodding.   "MIght as well. We might only get a move or two in..." She carefully weighed each and every move as Hubert outlined potential strategies she could make. He was still going easy on her, so that helped, but even so, it wasn't enough to stop her from losing. She hated how easily she lost in that game. It was a lot more complicated than the other games they had played that day. She really did hate the game, but the challenge was something she did enjoy. It was a strange dichotomy.   "That's fine if that's all we do. Matches at this pace will probably take a few months." He let out an amused 'heh' and she sighed, looking away. He reached up and squeezed her shoulder. "I mean nothing against you. It's not an insult or anything; it's just the way things are. Chess is a complex game, so I don't expect you to get it right away. But you are absolutely brilliant, my-- Edelgard. It's just some things are still a challenge even for the most brilliant people. No one person will be good at everything."   "You don't struggle with most things tossed your way." She continued washing his hair.   He took one of her hands and looked up at him, squeezing her hand gently. "Just because I'm good at a few things doesn't mean I'm good at everything. I've studied things that require a lot of time, effort, and skill. I got good at everything I thought you would need and what would be in best service to the Empire. I lack in a lot of critical areas...such as being good with people. Why bother being good with them when I've lived my life mostly in the shadows?" HIs tone was soft and he tilted her head up with his free hand, making her look into his eyes. "You're awkward, but your gentleness draws people to you. I have none of that." He pressed a kiss to her lips, soft but warm.   "Hubert...you're good with me. If you wanted to be good with people, you would just need to show them the same kindness and gentleness as me. That's it. That's all you'd need to do." He was a good man beneath all the layers of scariness and fear he cast for people to see. He would probably be overrun with women if he showed them the same kindness and gentleness he showed to her. She knew that he would be popular in the court if he so much as opened up to people instead of trying to scare the ever-loving hell out of them.   "I don't need to be popular. All I need is to be able to take care of you." He leaned over and kissed her again, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close. She felt her cheeks heat up a bit but she returned the kiss, leaning into it. He pulled back after a moment, though his arms remained around her. "All I care about is making sure you're cared for properly. That's all I need in life. And now that I'm your husband, I can make sure you are cared for properly." She could sense a hint of possessiveness in there, but it wasn't unexpected from Hubert of all people. The consort thing was definitely going to be hard on him, but she needed help with childbirth... She wanted to be sure she could have a larger family so they didn't run into the same issues she'd dealt with.   She nodded and tucked her head against his chest. "That's about what I expected you to say..." She knew he didn't care what other people thought about him. He was a good man. He really did deserve more out of life than taking care of her. But he really did enjoy it, so who was she to say anything against it? She knew him well enough to understand he really didn't give a damn about it. "Anyway, why don't we finish up here and then head to bed?"   "All right." He let her go and she finished up washing his hair. After they finished up with their bath, they headed back to the bedroom. He dried her hair with magic though there was still light in the day... So they went over to the chess board and started playing. As predicted, they only got a couple of moves in before it started to get much too dark to really see. With that done, they headed to bed and curled up, snuggling together in a warm, soft embrace that brought comfort to her and helped chase away any potential nightmares.