Only human

"I'm no prophet or Messiah

Should go looking somewhere higher

I'm only human after all

I'm only human after all

Don't put the blame on me

Don't put the blame on me."

Sam Kka fell asleep quite quickly. This time, however, there was no sensation of his mind shutting down or his body collapsing in the blink of an eye. He simply dissolved smoothly and leisurely into the melody that Sang Ho was humming. And wrapped himself in the words Sang-ho had put to the music. Completely reliant on someone else's care. Or rather, not on someone else's care. The man woke up as peacefully as he had fallen asleep. Slowly opening his upper pair of eyes, the raven blinked and glanced habitually at the clock. It was four o'clock in the afternoon. A nightmare. The internal alarm clock had gone completely mad. From the side, Sam Kka saw the azure-coloured top of his head. Sang Ho, sleeping on his back, no longer looked as frightened as he had been when the raven had awakened. When he held his gaze on the swarthy face for just over a second, the stranger's eyes widened and the tiger turned his head sideways: — Did you sleep? — You didn't sleep? - Sam Kka asked instead of answering, so as not to give away his embarrassment. For the first time in his life he wanted to stare at his partner, and he didn't even give him a minute to do it. - Pretending? — Taking a nap. You don't like me watching you sleep, do you? There was nothing to say. The boy knew the raven like the back of his hand. At least his habits and mannerisms. Surely celebrating his victory, Sang Ho gave his partner a quick glance and asked quietly: — No nightmares? — Not anymore, thanks to you. You're a great singer — And you write poetry. — Very rarely. It helps me to think about important things... and not to think about the past,— Sam Kka admitted, hesitating for a moment — That's how it is,— the tiger was strangely silent. Or rather, frighteningly eloquent. — You won't even ask what it's about? — You won't tell me anyway. I'd rather not… — I will,— Sam Kka interrupted him, unexpectedly to himself. He wanted to share it with his partner, but he was afraid to tell him. Madly, to the point of icy fingertips and dry throat. - If you ask. — Promise? — I'll answer one question honestly,— the raven nodded, — as an apology, and also to thank you for helping me back then. — Your favourite tea? - The boy asked promptly. — Are you kidding me? — Apology and gratitude are two issues. — Tz... Mecil-Cha*. — Ugh…— Sang-ho grimaced, unable to help himself. — I didn't ask for a comment,— Sam Kka pursed his lips, offended by his favourite drink. However, familiar features finally flashed on his partner's upset face, and the raven, seeing it, was able to mentally exhale with relief. — Yeah, I'm sorry,— the tiger nodded and then immediately humbled himself, rising and sitting up straight on the bed. - Why... why are you having nightmares? — Because I feel guilt towards the people... who suffered because of me. Sang Ho was silent for a while. His amber eyes shone brightly, far brighter than the sun whose rays peeked at the demons from behind the curtains. Raven bit his lip and sighed quietly. Words burst from his chest, but the lump in his throat prevented him from uttering any. Then Raven turned his head to his partner and looked him in the eye. That was enough for Sang Ho. — What did you do? — I ordered the death of a man who broke the laws of the palace, along with his only relative, his sister. That was the order, I had not yet ascended to the throne, my father would not forgive me for flouting his edicts, but I... I dared not go against his word. The words poured out in an endless stream while somewhere in his chest he felt a pressure so strong that his heart remembered how to beat again. Sam Kka felt the flames of shame for his own sin, for his repentance for what he had done, the lashes on the two lower pairs of eyes twitching in trepidation, as if afraid to rise fully and look at his partner, and the noise in his ears growing more and more with each sentence, along with the excitement. — That same night a rebellion broke out and I was killed in the coup. I opened my eyes already downstairs as Gwi Ma watched the memories and, mocking my stupidity, gave me a name. A symbol of prosperity, yes,— the man grinned crookedly, closing his lower pair of eyes completely and taking a quiet inhale and exhale to calm himself down a bit, — I couldn't even keep my own state, what prosperity could I talk about? Since that day... since then I often see... see that girl at night - the sister of the guy I executed right in front of her eyes. She stared at me until her head rolled at my feet, and even then she wouldn't close her eyes. Promised me she'd haunt me after she died. And she kept her word. As he finished, Sam Kka suddenly realised that he had never once looked at his partner directly during the whole story. Sang Ho sat quietly, seemingly not even breathing. Was he thinking about what to say, or was he trying to give himself time to calm down? Raven didn't know, but he was really trying to get his mind in order. His limbs were stiff from the long sleep, and the thoughts in his cotton-wool head were still jumbled, but one thing Sam Kka knew for sure was that he should have shared this with the tiger a long time ago. The silence lengthened, and the raven, surprisingly enough, began to worry about it, thinking about how his partner had taken his story when a stranger's hand touched the almost icy knuckles of his pale fingers. The warmth burned his skin, and Sam Kka reflexively raised all six eyes to the tiger. The boy looked unaccustomedly serious. His amber eyes reflected the hunched figure in the dark turumagi, clutching the sheets of the bed with both hands in frank panic. And one of those hands was gently covered, cradled in a large palm, and squeezed slightly by the tiger. — And... and if you are chased by me now... - Sang Ho faded his gaze briefly, but, having collected himself, looked directly at Sam Kka, - will she leave? Will she rest in peace? — Why would you follow me? - The raven asked, imagining that with every invisible feather he felt the warmth emanating from the boy. — So you won't run away? — Well, why should I run away? — And why did you do it for four hundred years and do it again a few days ago? — "Because I was afraid," — Sam Kka said mentally, — "because I'm only human. — Because we're teammates? - The words came out of the man's mouth faster than he could think them through. Sang Ho heard both answers. He had every right to keep asking questions, to make him apologise over and over again, or to walk away, breaking forever the thread of fate that bound them postmortem. But the tiger chose a different path. — Yes, teammates, — two pairs of snow-white fangs bared as the boy's lips stretched into a wide, soft smile, — and we're both only human. It's not all your fault. I'm suresheknows that too, — the azure head of his head swayed slightly from side to side. — Not only my fault? - Sam Kka asked uncertainly, not believing what he was hearing. Even after knowing the tiger for so many years, it was still hard to imagine that he wasn't the least bit angry or offended. The eyes opposite were absolutely clear and sincere. There was warmth in the liquid amber, pupils narrowed in support of a smile, and the hand that gripped his cold fingers was warm with care. — Not just yours. And we'll be sure to convince her of that,— Sang-ho nodded. Then, looking at the figure of the tiger in the soft light of the sinking sun, Sam Kka saw for the first time that his partner was not a spoilt child. It was then that the raven felt for the first time that some of the weight from his shoulders had been transferred to someone else's. Or rather, not on someone else's shoulders at all.

End of the first part