Only human

"I'm only human

I make mistakes

I'm only human

That's all it takes…”

My hands trembled. Fingertips to white knuckles clenched and released the dark turumagi every now and then in an attempt to let his master return to reality. It was not working well. In his head, the girl wouldn't stop screaming. Intense, long and escalating, with each time she appeared in the demon's thoughts it was as if she was trying to burn her voice into his ears so that the man would never forget her. Never forget that unfortunate day. Dropping his partner wherever the hell he was, the raven soared into the sky, disappeared into the darkness, and flew towards the colourful lights for as long as he felt that there were no people around. Under his paws was a narrow alleyway where the man was finally able to take his form without thinking that he was about to turn back into a bird. Seoul was one of those cities that, after sunset, did not fall asleep until morning. And yet, despite this, Sam Kka could not see where he was going - his feet carried him on their own, and his palm periodically pushed off the nearest wall, preventing him from falling and sliding to the ground. Perhaps from the outside he looked marginal at best, if not suspicious. Everything periodically swam and went dark before his eyes - no, the raven did not cry, nor did he feel sorry for himself or the girl's brother enough to shed tears for them even after several hundred years. It was probably the result of the nightmares that had become more frequent in recent months, and without Sang Ho the man would hardly have endured them so easily. Thinking about the tiger was not something he wanted to do. The mere thought of his partner sitting somewhere and worrying about the raven's words made his already swollen head splitting apart and his stomach tumbling like an acrobat. The desire to realise that everyone around him had shut up at once was growing stronger and stronger, but at the same time the rest of Kka's mind did not understand why he had flown into the centre of the city, which was almost swarming with people even at night. The conclusion was self-evident, but the man refused to accept it. — Your Majesty… — The maiden's face that suddenly emerged from the darkness made him flinch. Unnaturally pale and gaunt, the cause of his nightmares seemed to have finally taken physical form and appeared in person, her gaze menacingly sizzling, — ...when I die, I will haunt you until I destroy you! — Well... you did it, — the exhausted raven mumbled with a single lip, barely audible. The girl kept her word. Month after month, year after year, century after century, she had waited diligently for this day. Payback for her sins. Sam Kka didn't remember how his legs gave out and his body flew along the front of the small house, almost hitting his forehead on the ground. Nor did the raven remember the half hour he had lain there, scaring the cats that ran past with his breathless appearance. His brain had switched off by the time the raven's body was carefully scraped off the ground, lifted in his arms, held in confusion for a short while, and then gently thrown on something very fluffy and warm, like a heated plaid. And gently carried on wobbling paws in an unknown direction.

***

When the man woke up, the clock on the wall showed ten in the morning. It wasn't just his body that ached, it was the whole demonic being of the raven, who didn't understand how he'd ended up in his own bed, or why there was no familiar pile of feathers around, or why the internal clock hadn't woken him up at nine in the morning. The room, like the rest of the flat, was also unusually quiet. Deciding not to torture his body with movements, Sam Kka simply frowned, blinked his parched eyes in turn, and hesitantly called out loudly and hesitantly by a name he hated as much as his own, but was afraid to say the infamous name. but he was afraid to say the proverbial "tiger": — Sang Ho? — Did you call? - The answer was immediate. His partner was lurking outside the door, waiting patiently for the raven to awaken. With a short knock, the boy peeked into the room, — Shall I come in? Nodding, Sam Kka thought about covering his eyes for a few minutes, but when he saw the tiger's appearance, he was dumbfounded and stared with all three pairs of copper under his eyelashes. Sang Ho looked terrible - his usually lustrous, silky hair was sticking out in all directions in a faded old broom, his ears were perpetually perked up, the droopy look on his unhealthily pale face was fixed somewhere on the floor, and his tail was dragging behind his master like a shabby rope. — You brought me here…— When he realised that he didn't want to hear an answer, the man changed his mind and changed the question, — how long did I sleep? — Almost two and a half days, — the tiger said colourlessly, standing beside Sam Kka's bed as if he were dying. — And you haven't come in once? — To tell the truth or to lie so you wouldn't run away again? - A slight note of resentment in the other's voice allowed the raven to mentally breathe a sigh of relief. — Honestly. — Almost never came out. — Watching me sleep? — Soothing me. You were tossing and turning. — I see. How did it go? Sang Ho didn't answer, only turned to the bedside table and pulled a homemade flute from the top drawer. Raven raised an eyebrow above the top pair of eyes in surprise. Sam Kka had never seen his partner interested in music in any form before. But his prejudices evaporated as soon as he drew air into his lungs and began to play a simple melody. Quite gentle, it sent him somewhere to the green meadows, where soft clouds floated overhead, and behind them the clear blue sky was illuminated by a rainbow, which appeared after a long rain. And then Sang Ho sang:

"I know you, you're a special one

Some see crazy where I see love

You fall so low but shoot so high

Big dreamers shoot for open sky

So much life in those open eyes

So much depth, you look for the light

But when your wounds open, you will cry

You'll cry out now and you'll question why

I am here and I see your pain

Through the storms, through the clouds, the rain

I'm telling you, you cannot escape

You can do it, just feel, baby

I can see a rainbow

In your tears as they fall on down

I can see your soul grow

Through the pain as they hit the ground

I can see a rainbow

In your tears as the sun comes out

As the sun comes out..." *

The young man's voice did not hit his ears, but enveloped him pleasantly, hugged him by the shoulders, went through the chest wounded by sharp needles, climbed under the rib cage where his heart, which had no right to beat any more, was imprisoned. And his tiger still wrapped this broken muscle motor in the blanket of his care and declared with all his nature: "I will never leave you”. When the song ended, Sam Kka suddenly realised that something stinging was in his middle and lower right eyes. It took a blink and a squeeze to realise it was tears. Salty and stinging, full of the pain, fear and guilt he had held back for so many hundreds of years. By poisoning himself, he was poisoning everyone around him, but the only person who was willing to be tormented was the one who suffered the most. — Can you sing? - The raven wasn't sure it was possible to extract the question from his wheezing, but he couldn't help but ask. — It helped calm me down when I was alive. And here's one for you, too. — Sound familiar. Did you read my notes? — You mumble in your sleep sometimes. I just remembered it and tried to put it to music. — Yes, I... I remember, — the memory immediately threw up a sense of deja vu just in time, and the raven remembered where he had heard the song. Sang Ho had sung it during those two days while the man slept. — You didn't tell me you write poetry. — Rarely. I a… — You go back to sleep. You'll call me when you wake up, if you need anything, — he quickly put the flute back into the nightstand and straightened up, adjusting the turumagi he still had on, and turned towards the door. — Wait,— Kka didn't manage to catch at least by the trouser leg of the frisky tiger, but the attempt was enough to make his partner freeze, and the raven quietly squeezed out, almost physically feeling his pride at his throat, finishing the phrase, — I'll sleep, but... can you stay here? The young man opened and closed his mouth in mute shock, but after a few seconds he died down and nodded slowly, carefully and almost fearfully sitting down in a meditative pose by the other's bed: — ...Okay? — No, on the bed, — Sam Kka moved closer to the centre of the bed and cleared the edge of the bed, and glanced at the gap in the personal space allocated to his partner, who immediately took it. — Okay. — And sing, - "impudence is the second happiness." — Won't you ask me? — Please.

"I can see a rainbow

In your tears as they fall on

down I can see your soul grow

Through the pain as they hit the

ground I can see a rainbow

In your tears as the sun comes out

As the sun comes out…”