Make Her Smile Again

The room was already bright when Levi opened his eyes. It took him a moment to realise he had not slept his usual two or three hours, but through the entire night. He squinted at once against the light, his eyes not yet adjusted, and pulled the pillow closer, the one he had apparently grabbed in his sleep. He buried his face in something soft and tightened his hold when he sensed someone looking at him. "C-Captain?" Levi yanked the person down onto the bed and instantly pinned their hands, pressing them hard into the mattress, immobilising them. Sleep vanished as if it had been swept away the moment he realised he was not in the Scouts, and the voice had been female. He released Mikasa at once and sprang off the bed, painfully putting weight on his not-yet-healed palm. He realised he had not been clutching a pillow after all. Mikasa was already sitting up, pulling the blanket higher over herself with slender fingers, red-faced and slightly disheveled, still wearing a sleepy expression. She glanced around, trying to understand what was happening. Levi looked down for a moment, but the memories of last night finally came back to him. "You fell asleep last night, and I didn't wake you. And I suppose I fell asleep with you..." Levi said pointedly as Mikasa relaxed. She had fully woken up too and was now smoothing down her ruffled, sticking-out hair with her hands. Why hadn't Levi thought to go to another room? He had no answer. Maybe he simply had not seen the need. He had not expected to end up groping everything within reach in his sleep. The whole situation seemed stupid and awkward to him. And really, what difference did it make where or how he slept? Nothing terrible had happened. "Get up. I'll make breakfast," Levi said as if nothing had happened, and left the room. Only after closing the door behind him did he manage to gather his thoughts a little. Mikasa's pink cheeks, sleepy appearance, and frightened gaze unsettled him. Levi shook his head and headed downstairs. Just perfect. The first time I sleep without pills in ages, and I lose control of my own damn body. It would not have been so bad if he had simply gotten up without touching Mikasa, but as luck would have it, his hands had found her body. Very chivalrous of me, Levi thought. He quickly doused himself with icy water in the shower, hastily re-bandaged his healing wounds, and went downstairs. As he poured what would become the omelet into the hot pan, Levi felt that his face was still burning, and it had nothing to do with the heat from the stove. Just my luck. It took sheer willpower to keep his eyes on the omelet so it would not burn, though what he really wanted was to step away and splash his face with cold water. He managed to keep his composure. There was no reason for Mikasa to see that something had embarrassed him. She would only start imagining foolish things. Breakfast was already on the table when Mikasa came downstairs. An awkward, heavy silence hung over them, and even the exchanged wishes of "bon appetite" did little to lighten it. Neither of them dared to break the silence. Nothing truly outrageous or improper had happened, but the feeling that something was wrong followed them both. Both Mikasa and Levi had long been used to a lack of personal space. They had lived in rooms with other people, fought side by side with comrades, slept pressed close together during stops, and never thought about such foolishness. And once again, they had to remind themselves that everything was different now, that everything had changed, and they could not measure their present situation by the standards of their army days. Here, in an ordinary warm and cozy house, the kind hundreds of thousands of Marleyans had, they finally had a chance to experience the joys of personal space. Yet something kept drawing them together, pulling them toward each other so strongly that they had fallen asleep in one bed, despite there being a second bedroom in the house and, at the very least, a sofa. They both felt this "something," though neither knew how to explain this new, barely budding feeling. Was it the fact that there was no one else around, forcing them closer? Was the awkwardness there because it was just the two of them? It was not easy to answer. They had never spent this much time together, alone. "The weather is overcast today," Mikasa said suddenly. The awkward silence in the air had become so oppressive that she could no longer bear it. She wanted to say something, anything, just so she would not have to remember that she had fallen asleep in the Captain's bed. So she would not have to remember his warm hands holding her tighter. She was sitting right across from the window, her eyes following the white, foamy waves running toward the shore. It was light out, but the meager light barely seeping through the grey clouds did nothing to lift her spirits. The grey day only deepened her melancholy. Levi did not answer. He threw a brief glance at Mikasa and shoved a piece of omelet into his mouth. Mikasa felt embarrassed, thinking she had said something wrong again, and fell silent once more, burying herself in her plate. At least it tasted good. For the entire time at the table, and then while they washed and dried the dishes, Mikasa did not hear a single word from Levi. Letting go of what had happened that morning and forgetting it simply was not working. Obsessive, tangled thoughts kept spinning in her head, irritating her. Mikasa understood there was nothing to discuss, but she was so ashamed that she had started the conversation, taken his bed, and fallen asleep there that she now thought the Captain was angry with her. She had put him in an awkward position in his own room. Mikasa did not understand why Levi had not woken her and sent her to her own room. She could not remember the Captain ever failing to value his solitude. He disliked people bursting into his office even on important business, often let no one in, and even demanded that Hange and Erwin knock. Nor did he allow anyone to wait for him in his office. Mikasa had once noticed a note saying that Erwin needed to discuss something, and she remembered being surprised that the Commander had not stayed to wait. It was impossible to imagine Levi allowing anyone to linger near him longer than necessary. He was a quiet, unsociable, secretive person. So why had he let Mikasa fall asleep beside him? The Captain continued to behave exactly as always, and in the end Mikasa stopped trying to explain what had happened. Maybe he simply did not want to order her around now that she was no longer his subordinate. Or maybe he had been just as tired and had fallen asleep with her. Mikasa had always been bad at guessing other people's thoughts, and she gave up on trying. She still wanted to release the extra tension and clear her head. Mikasa knew a good way. Training always helped. There was nothing else to do anyway, and she had not trained in a long time. Since the last battle, she had not even wanted to think about it. Now, however, she needed to clear her head. Mikasa thought a run through some park and a few exercises would do her good, so she put on warmer clothes and went downstairs. Levi was sitting on the sofa in the living room, occupied with his own affairs, and paid no attention to Mikasa. For some reason, she wanted him to ask where she was going, even though it was absolutely none of his business. Still, Mikasa deliberately put on her coat slowly, buttoned her boots slowly, and wrapped herself in her shawl just as slowly. But Levi remained silent, and Mikasa had no choice but to leave the house alone. She quickly found a small park away from the center, where there were almost no people. She warmed up a little, circled the park a few times at a brisk pace, but her thoughts would not clear, only circling around the same thing. It was beginning to irritate her. If she forbade herself from thinking about Eren only because it was painful to dwell on him, then she simply wanted to throw Levi out of her head as quickly as possible. Mikasa had never thought of him as anything but a grumpy clean freak who was also their commander. Only recently, just before the final battle, had their relationship improved, with both of them maintaining firm neutrality. Something had changed. Now was definitely not the time to think about how pleasant it had felt when Levi hugged her in his sleep. Mikasa shook her head and asked a passerby whether there was a forest nearby, hoping that nature would finally let her switch off all her stupid thoughts. She was told there was a forest on a cliff, a bit far but still reachable. Mikasa nodded her thanks and headed that way. She quickly reached the seashore and started upward, toward where the cliff was visible. A strong wind was blowing. Gusts lifted her shawl, making Mikasa shiver from the unpleasant cold. As if the overcast weather had not already been enough for her gloomy mood. But Mikasa decided she would lift her spirits no matter what, even if she had to drag herself all the way to the cliff.

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Levi listened to Mikasa getting ready upstairs and quickly went to the living room, settling more comfortably on the sofa to minimise contact with her. He pulled out a completely uninteresting book, bought at random, and buried himself in it, hoping Mikasa would not have either the nerve or the courage to disturb him. He was thinking too much about what had happened. Far more than he should. He could have calmly gone about his business, but instead he kept replaying the morning in his head. Levi felt no guilt, no embarrassment over what had occurred. The worst part was that he realised he would not mind waking up like that every morning. But his mind stubbornly screamed that he was not thinking that way about some ordinary girl, not about a lover, but about Mikasa, damn it, Ackerman. Something was fundamentally wrong, but Levi could not pinpoint what. He saw perfectly well that Mikasa was restless, that it had agitated and stirred her up, but he had little desire to approach her and talk about it. He was unsettled by how jumpy the usually emotionless Ackerman had become after everything she had endured. He understood her, even pitied her, but was he to blame for anything? After all, she was the one who had fallen asleep beside him. And if she decided to bring it up, he would say exactly that. But she did not speak, preferring to imagine things in her head again. Understandable. Levi imagined how he looked: certainly not inviting conversation. His brows were probably furrowed as always, his gaze cold, his lips tense. For a moment he tried to relax his face, then immediately abandoned the idea. At least Mikasa did not look offended. On that note, Levi tried to stop thinking about what had happened. He heard her getting ready slowly, clearly trying to attract attention, but Levi had no intention of starting a conversation about anything. That would mean admitting everything was more complicated than it seemed. When Mikasa left, slamming the door behind her, Levi felt relief. The strange feeling began to recede, his head was no longer swimming with all kinds of thoughts, and Levi stood up, intending to tidy the house and clean the last uncleaned room. Fetching his mop and buckets of cleaning supplies, Levi set about scrubbing everything that made him grimace. The crutch was no longer quite as necessary, and Levi, cautiously, tried to walk on his own. His knee still stung and burned, but not nearly as badly as it had in the first days. Levi had long since learned to ignore pain that did not threaten his life. The back room was not that dirty, but wiping down the surfaces would not hurt. A great deal of dust had gathered, and the windows were covered in streaks. Levi dragged a chair from the room, barely managing to squeeze it through the narrow storage space, and, taking a rag in hand, began vigorously washing the window. He methodically scrubbed one small spot, polishing the glass, completely absorbed in his thoughts. He did not even notice the passersby staring straight at him: the war hero, the Captain who had saved them from destruction. Levi would not have paid their stares much mind even if he had noticed. He was used to fame, one way or another. On the island, even stray dogs knew him; he was used to being looked at. But some people were watching Levi much more intently.

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The power of the titans had finally left the world. There was no longer any point in dividing people into those with monster blood in their veins and the "normal" ones. The armbands had fallen from the arms of people who had lived in fear for so many years. Now they needed no permits to go outside, and at last they were truly free. Falco and Gabi, having recovered from the shock, had settled with their families near the sea and often went for walks together. But neither of them expected to see the Captain. "Hey, Gabi, look over there." She ignored the request, waved a hand irritably, and kept walking. "Come on, look!" Falco repeated, tugging at her coat sleeve. She sighed heavily, not wanting to do as he asked, but in the end she had to give in and look in the direction her friend was pointing, because he would not leave her alone. This was very unlike Falco, and now she was curious what could have surprised him so much in his own hometown. But as soon as she looked the right way, every question vanished on its own. Gabi stood there with her mouth open. "We should go say hello! It's Captain Levi!" Gabi began, but Falco immediately held her back, his eyes wide with shock. Why would they do that? They were hardly friends. Besides, he looked busy. But Gabi could not back down now and began persuading Falco to go over. Besides, he was the one who had spotted the Captain. Falco quickly gave in. One greeting probably would not hurt. The Captain looked as displeased as always, and as if he should not be disturbed. Falco already regretted noticing him at all, but he still hoped they had established at least some rapport during the battle. He was still burdened by how many problems they had caused the Scouts. Falco was already on the doorstep when a strange feeling of anticipation came over him. Captain Levi had helped them a great deal, tolerated Gabi, and treated them kindly, even though Gabi had been the cause of their troubles. Those demons from Paradis could have killed her, but they had treated them like foolish children and forgiven them. Levi was still absorbed in the windows and did not immediately realise someone was knocking. He did not want to tear himself away from the glass, but ignoring the knock was no longer an option. He had clearly been spotted through the window. But who would need the Captain? Reluctantly climbing down and trying not to strain his injured leg, he approached the door and opened it with his usual displeased expression. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw the two young Marleyans on his doorstep. To be honest, he had forgotten about them. There had been no time. But the sight of these kids lit a small spark of joy in his chest. At least they looked like they were doing well. "Captain Levi, we're so happy to see you! You have no idea!" a delighted Gabi cried, rushing at the Captain to hug him, and without thinking he put out his hands and caught her. A stunned Falco stood watching as Gabi hung from the Captain's neck. "Gabi, behave!" he exclaimed, muttering a flustered "good day." But Levi suddenly ruffled his hair and said, quite seriously: "It's always good to meet comrades-in-arms." His cold voice rang out. Levi had not meant to be rude, but old habits took over. He was occupied with his thoughts, he had enough worries with Mikasa, and he simply was not very eager to see anyone. But the children's eyes shone brightly, looking at him as if he alone had defeated all the titans, even though these kids were war heroes themselves. Levi's heart softened, and he waved away his reluctance to see anyone. The children's faces made it clear that they really wanted to come inside. They were completely unable to hide their feelings. Amusing. "I'm busy, but you can always help me scrub the room clean," Levi said to dampen their enthusiasm. He succeeded easily, and neither Falco nor Gabi looked quite so inspired anymore. Gabi immediately poked her friend in the side, apparently so he would say something, and Falco gave an awkward smile, already opening his mouth, but Levi's face suddenly relaxed, and he smiled almost imperceptibly. "Just joking." He quickly realised his young comrades-in-arms knew almost nothing about him, and that no one had told them about his love of cleanliness. That was just as well. There was no place for silly tales on the battlefield. "No time to deal with you today, but you can come another day. Just warn me first. I don't like unexpected visits," Levi said, much more strictly now, and the children's faces lit up. Falco could barely contain his joy, while Gabi immediately grinned from ear to ear. The war hero, Captain Levi Ackerman himself, had invited them over. They had already learned that his fearsome appearance was only a facade, and even though Reiner talked about him as the scariest demon of Paradis, Captain Levi was actually a kind and responsive person. He had not held their former status as enemies against them. In Gabi and Falco, he saw children, victims of politics, and for that alone both were sincerely grateful. A strong man like Levi could have destroyed them in an instant, but instead he had chosen to save them. "We'll definitely come, and we'll call ahead. Thank you, Captain!" Gabi chirped, looking joyfully at Falco. He, smiling, offered an equally grateful "thank you," then turned and quickly left the porch. Levi returned to his task, wiping at a window already marked with dried water, displeased that he would have to scrub away new streaks after only just dealing with the old ones. Through the glass, he saw the previously restrained children chatting cheerfully about something, their faces beaming. Levi involuntarily smirked. So unselfconscious, as if the war had left no mark on them. He wished he could enter this new life the same way, despite the harsh training, terrible conditions, fear, and death. It was pleasant to see that Falco and Gabi had remained children, even after everything they had been through. Levi became absorbed in cleaning, and by midday the house was sparkling. The polished floors gleamed, the bathroom tiles shone with cleanliness. Mold did not stand a chance of settling here. Even in the empty storage room, Levi wiped away the dust, though there would not be any tea here for a long time. He simply did not want the shelves to remain dirty. Only then did Levi notice that Mikasa had been suspiciously absent for a long time. He shook his head. What business was it of his? He could no longer control where she went or what she did. But the fact that he had not even asked where she was headed somehow troubled him. After lunch, feeling a slight unease, Levi smirked to himself. Look at me, worrying about a former subordinate. Nonsense. But something left him unsettled. She could not have gotten into trouble, could she? Levi looked out the window. The wind was picking up. Heavy black clouds loomed over the sea. It would definitely rain soon. Levi went to the hallway and glanced casually at the stand. Both new umbrellas stood untouched. Levi sighed. I just hope that foolish girl is all right. He had resisted believing he was worried about her until the last possible moment, but now the feeling had become too obvious. Time passed, but Mikasa still did not return. The wind blew harder, a fine rain began to fall, and the lights had to be turned on in the house. Outside, it grew completely dark. Levi realised that if he did not occupy himself with something, he would only make his state worse. What could he do? Was he going to run out searching for her? For what? Just to bring her home? Mikasa was not a child to be watched over, and he exhaled, returning to the kitchen. He had bought himself everything he had wanted for so long: a beautiful teapot, fragrant tea leaves, and a couple of pretty cups. Brewing tea always calmed him. Watching the aromatic leaves slowly settle in the cup would surely bring him to his senses. Any minute now, Mikasa will come home, chattering about how terribly windy and cold it is outside. That was how it would be, Levi decided, placing the kettle of water on the gas stove. The Captain genuinely enjoyed brewing tea. Even the bitter army tea had warmed his soul in moments of despair. With a shabby kettle and leaves of mediocre quality, Levi had still managed to make a decent cup. Now, with good water and good tea, he was simply destined to succeed. Anticipating the velvety feeling spreading over his tongue, Levi rinsed the teapot with boiling water and added the fragrant leaves. In the Scouts, the tea had been borderline tolerable. It would have been somewhat better if Levi could have afforded cream or at least milk, but those were luxuries, and he had always had to make do with little. In summer, he had sometimes managed to find mint or other fragrant herbs, but honey and sugar had been completely impossible for him to afford. So much so that seeing them now, within arm's reach, felt strange. He could have continued without sugar, but he truly wanted to try proper, delicious tea at least once in his life. Sugar, however, brought Levi no joy. It only spoiled the taste of the noble drink. Thanks to the Queen's generosity, he no longer had to want for anything, but the Captain quickly realised he did not need much. The main thing was that he could call a place home and calmly drink a cup or two of tea in it. Though he had been hasty about the "calmly" part. Calm was not coming. His movements were precise, honed over years and polished by military training, and yet nervousness showed through them. After brewing a cup for himself, Levi took out a second one, just in case. What if Mikasa comes back any moment now? But Mikasa did not return, not in an hour, nor in two. Outside, the drizzle continued, and Levi was irritated that he was worrying over trifles like a mere boy. He was not Mikasa's nanny and should not even be thinking about what she was doing. She had a head on her shoulders, so if she was not back, she had found something to do. And it was none of Levi's business. Yet anxiety scraped at him with sticky claws. He knew perfectly well what Mikasa had been like when Eren died. No, when she had taken his life herself. Levi remembered her utterly empty gaze, her quiet, barely audible words, her plea not to leave her alone, and his own invitation. She was simply reaching for the only person who had broken through her despair, and he had pushed her away with his own hands. Of course, it was still difficult for Mikasa. How could he have thought she had already recovered from the loss? He, a grown man who had endured so much grief and loss, still remembered the people who had left him with pain. What must it be like for Mikasa? Who knew what she might have invented in her head during the time he had ignored her? What could she have done to herself? The rain began drumming loudly on the roof, jolting Levi out of his terrible thoughts. He would never forgive himself if Mikasa hurt herself. He had taken her under his wing so she could grow stronger, grow used to a new life, and not be alone. And how had he treated her? Let his hands wander over her. He should apologise to her and shove his pride aside. She needed that. What if she really did not come back? The heavy rain beat accusingly against the roof ledge, and Levi paced the room anxiously, unable to finish his cup of tea. He could not feel the taste of it. Levi had seen perfectly well that she had deliberately lingered by the door, waiting for him to stop her, say a few words, at least ask where she was going. But with his silence, he had only told her that he did not care. Yielding to a strange impulse, he was about to run out of the house, but stopped himself. Where would he go? What if she was holed up in some local cafe, simply waiting out the bad weather, and he ended up searching the city for her like a complete fool? Levi forced himself to calm down. After all, Mikasa was nothing more than his former subordinate, and what she did mattered little to him. The wind bent the trees, showering the window with dry leaves. Levi smirked. Wasted my time washing the back-room windows. They're all smeared with dirty rainwater anyway.The sea roared invitingly, rising in high waves like an angry beast. Levi began to feel as if the sea was angry with him, blaming him for something, but he immediately dismissed the foolish thought. Could such a trivial matter drive Mikasa to do something reckless? The more Levi thought, the better he understood that it could. How many lives were on his conscience? How much blood was on his hands? But her life could leave a new, indelible mark among the accusations. Levi was used to living without regrets, but that was nothing more than a brazen lie he told himself. He remembered every face, every patch belonging to those who had died because of him. And there was still so much he could not forgive himself for. The door suddenly swung open. Mikasa flew into the house, soaked to the bone and visibly chilled through. With trembling hands, she pulled off her white, drenched shawl. Her coat dripped dirty rainwater onto the clean floor. Withered leaves were stuck in her short hair, and she looked downright pitiful.

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Mikasa had not wandered in the forest for long. It was cold, and she could not gather her thoughts. Dampness and chill crept under her coat despite her warm clothes. Autumn was the vilest season. No matter how you dressed, you still froze. Her body, sweaty from walking, cooled quickly, and Mikasa already wanted to go home. But it was not that simple. She had not paid any attention to the path, wandering along the narrow forest trails. The grey sky darkened, a fine drizzle began, and Mikasa shivered as she looked around. She had no idea which way she had come. The sea roared as if from all sides at once, offering no help in finding the direction of the house. She needed to find the way while it was still light. Mikasa wandered through the forest, getting lost, apparently only becoming more confused. When she reached the edge of the cliff, the sky was completely covered with stormy, blackening clouds. The sea beat menacingly against the rocks, its waves licking the black stones, and Mikasa hurried home. She was freezing. The house was far away, but she had to take her time, walking along the forest's edge and constantly listening to the sound of the waves so she would not get lost again. Right at the edge of the forest, just as Mikasa finally emerged, the rain came pouring down. Gusts of wind tore at her clothes and tangled withered leaves in her hair, and Mikasa ran, trying to escape the stinging, cold drops. Now, standing on the doorstep and looking guiltily at the Captain, Mikasa did not even know how she would tell him the story. Apparently, not now. His entire demeanour suggested it would be better not to even try explaining where she had come back from, soaked and filthy. She wanted to get warm quickly. Her wet clothes chilled her skin even inside the house, and Mikasa shivered. She was trembling, unable to warm up.

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Levi glared at her sternly, but as soon as he caught her sad, guilty gaze, he softened at once. He wanted to grab her, scold her, touch her to make sure she was all right, that all the terrible thoughts born in his head were nothing more than his stupid imagination, that Mikasa really was standing before him now and was not just a hallucination, a familiar image surfacing from memory. But he restrained himself. After an especially difficult expedition, he might have allowed himself such a liberty, but not now. Admitting that he had been very worried about her was impossible. How could he explain this suddenly awakened concern? "Damn you," he swore, partly to himself and partly in anger at her, and notes of anxiety stirred in his voice. Mikasa looked at him apprehensively, untangling the soaked shawl from her neck. She looked like a beaten, pitiful animal, like a kitten thrown out into the street, and Levi turned away, not wanting to entangle himself further. "Take all that off. I'll draw you a hot bath." His voice reached Mikasa from the stairs, and the stupor seemed to lift from her. Right. I need to warm up.With stiff fingers, she untied the belt of her coat, took off the heavy, wet garment that smelled faintly of wool, and tried to hang it on the hook. It did not work right away. It kept slipping, threatening to fall onto the dirty floor. Her feet squelched in her soaked boots, and Mikasa gladly pulled them off, stepping onto the dry, warm rug. Levi came downstairs, intending to see what was taking Mikasa so long. He saw the hopelessly wet coat and the shapeless, drooping shawl. He sighed heavily, hoping that if he spread the things out by the fireplace, they would dry and not be ruined. Such a fool. She must have seen the rain coming. Why had she not taken an umbrella? "Get to the bathroom. Leave your clothes by the door; I'll bring you dry ones. If you take your time, you'll flood the whole floor," Levi ordered disapprovingly, and Mikasa obeyed, nodding and quickly running past him up the stairs. Levi rubbed his eyes tiredly. He did not care about the floor. Or the dirty spots by the door. But in such cold, she could easily catch a serious chill, and if she did not warm up quickly, there would be no end of trouble. Just my luck, getting involved with such a fool. Mikasa, feeling her feet leave wet prints behind, slipped into the bathroom and shed her heavy, clinging clothes. She left the things outside the door and closed it behind her. That very morning, she would have been horrified at the mere thought of Captain Levi rummaging through her underwear, but walking around the house barely covered by a towel again would be even more awkward. She wanted to warm up. The bathtub was already half full. Mikasa lowered her hand, cautiously touching the surface, but her only-just-thawing fingers could barely tell whether the water was too hot. Deciding the Captain probably did not want to boil her alive, Mikasa climbed in. Warmth quickly began to spread through her body. The bathroom became hot and stuffy, and she leaned back against the rim, allowing herself to relax completely. So much had happened, so much had weighed on her soul, that untangling the knot seemed impossible. She could not stop thinking about Eren, could not get the suddenly softened Captain out of her head, but her body was so tired that Mikasa could have fallen asleep right there in the water. She had to endure a little longer. The hot water pleasantly burned her skin, and Mikasa sat up, picking the stuck leaves out of her wet, tangled hair.

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Mikasa's room was almost as empty as before. Neither of them had yet managed to settle into this place. Besides, the bed remained neatly made in military fashion, since Mikasa had not slept there last night. And yet her slight untidiness was noticeable even here. That worked in his favour: her clothes were lying on the bed from the morning. No need to rummage through the entire wardrobe looking for something. Levi had already neatly folded the trousers and the shirt when a new thought crossed his mind: he needed to find underwear as well. For a second, Levi wanted to say to hell with it, give her the clothes, and let Mikasa come and put on her underwear herself. But the mere thought that he would spend the rest of the evening thinking about the absence of underwear beneath her clothes stirred him up so much that Levi decided not to tempt himself. Nothing terrible would happen if he took any pair of panties from her drawer. But the images of a naked female body would not leave his head. Levi forced himself to pull himself together, finally deciding that he was going mad and behaving like a stupid, horny teenager. Mikasa had been his subordinate. He was helping her through terrible, agonising grief. He simply should not think of her that way. He quickly shoved his hand into the wardrobe drawer, pulled out the first item he felt without looking, and did not examine anything. The sensation of the item fit itself all too beautifully over the naked image in his mind, and Levi hurried to take the clothes to the bathroom. As soon as he saw the familiar Mikasa in ordinary clothes, with her empty expression, everything would fall into place. And there was absolutely no reason to remember how she had looked in that indecently short towel.

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Mikasa had already dried herself with a towel and, knowing the Captain had promised to leave the clothes by the door, boldly opened it, expecting to see a pile of clothing. Instead she saw only the top of the Captain's head, bent as he set the things down. Mikasa barely suppressed the urge to slam the door at once, but she was afraid of hitting him and simply froze, not knowing where to move or what to do. Shame wrapped around her in an instant, and she just stood there, waiting for she did not know what. Levi froze, not daring to look up. The sight of female legs left no room for doubt. The image of Mikasa in a short towel could easily transform into an image without it if Levi carelessly looked anywhere but the floor. Levi could have sworn that in that moment, it took all his self-control not to raise his head and meet Mikasa face to face. He had not thought at all that she would finish in the bathroom so quickly. For a few seconds, both were silent. Levi was not about to back away. But if he stood now, all his efforts would be for nothing; he would see everything he really did not need to see. Mikasa, meanwhile, stared dumbly at him, realising that if she crouched down, she would definitely enter his field of vision. Her heart pounded loudly from excitement, and before she could think to simply close the door and wait for Levi to leave, he spoke: "I'll close my eyes, and you grab your things quickly." His voice sounded stern, and Mikasa made an unintelligible sound, accepting the rules of the game. Levi squeezed his eyes shut with all his might, and she snatched up the clothes, slamming the door in his face. Levi exhaled in relief. His face was beginning to flush slightly, either from the heat of the bathroom or from the sheer stupidity of the whole situation. This is what comes of living with a woman. Levi straightened and hurried downstairs to the kitchen. Behind the door, Mikasa quickly pulled on her clothes. She felt terribly ashamed. But at least now she was truly warm. Her heart was beating like crazy. Mikasa could not understand what had agitated her so much. He's just the Captain. I'm his former Scout. Soldiers have no gender, and there was nothing about her he had not seen before.But that did not make it any easier. A certain tension was growing between them, and Mikasa did not know what she was supposed to do about it. Listening carefully, Mikasa heard Levi clattering dishes downstairs and calmed a little, coming back to herself. She slipped out of the bathroom and went down to the kitchen, with no intention of saying anything about what had happened. She avoided the wet footprints that remained on the wooden floor. Apparently, this situation had unsettled even a strong and brave man like the Captain. The fact that he was probably uncomfortable too gave Mikasa strength, and she sat down at the table in a better mood. A cup of aromatic tea stood nearby. Levi had definitely added honey, and Mikasa pulled the cup closer, wrapping her fingers around the warm porcelain. The sweetness of the honey reached her nose, and Mikasa smiled slightly. Sweet tea was much more pleasant than the usual bitterness. "Thank you," Mikasa said quietly, trying not to look at the Captain. She really did not want him to notice the redness of her cheeks. "Sorry I didn't wake you and send you to your own room." Mikasa's head shot up. Captain Levi knew how to say sorry? "I realised it was unpleasant for you. But I just mistook you for a pillow," he added, turning to face her. He had no use for foolish worries, and if it had tormented him all day, it was easier to ease the tension by explaining everything. Mikasa could not help herself and almost snorted. "I didn't know our fearsome Captain, the terrible demon of Paradis, liked hugging pillows in his sleep." Levi rolled his eyes. He knew it sounded stupid. But it was the truth. Mikasa smiled at him for the first time in all day, and her smile looked so genuine, sincere, and warm that Levi relaxed. He had almost never seen her smile. To him, Mikasa had been a soldier, far more talented and stronger than many men. He had wanted to pass on his experience to her, to help her survive, but nothing more. She, meanwhile, had thought only about saving Eren. She had often been angry and looked at Levi with an icy, hateful gaze, with her stormy grey eyes. It was so strange to see that her smile now belonged to him. That he had not caught her smiling secretly beside her friends. No. She had laughed for him. He liked this change. "I'll have to come up with a better nickname for you than a 'gloomy brat.' You're shining like a polished teapot." Mikasa could not hold back and burst out laughing. Wiping away the tears that had gathered in her eyes, she took a sip of hot tea, set the cup on the table, and felt calm wash over her. Well, look at that. It was all so simple. All it had taken was talking. But for some reason, she felt a little sorry. Levi had not intended to touch her; he was simply used to grabbing a pillow in his sleep. "When I was very little, I used to run to my mother's bed every morning and hug her very, very tightly..." Mikasa paused briefly, remembering the carefree days at home. She did not know why she had suddenly started talking about it, but she was not angry with Levi at all. She really missed the warmth of someone's hands. "Mother would hug me back too. For a moment, I went back to my childhood, and I'm not angry about it at all. I'm just ashamed I slept in the Captain's bed." She smiled, barely holding back laughter as she realised how absurd everything she had just said sounded. Levi looked at her, joyful and calm, and could not believe she could be so carefree, so... alive. Levi only occasionally caught glimpses of her coming to life around her comrades, but never with him. Had she finally stopped seeing him only as an enemy? It was strange to think about that now, when he had taken her from the hospital with him, when they had started living together. Could Levi call Mikasa his friend? Probably. They had finally gotten along. Mikasa quietly sipped her tea. She wanted to ask so much, to learn more about her Captain, for him to tell her more about his childhood, about the little things she could not even imagine. But she remained silent and asked nothing. The silence was calm, cozy, and warm. She was glad that they finally held no grudges against each other, and that the last misunderstanding had dissolved as if it had never existed. She felt that Levi, like no one else, could understand her, and she became only more certain of it after hearing the story of his life. They were so similar that it seemed a special, elusive connection had appeared between them, understandable only to the two of them. "Better tell me where the hell you've been, and why you came back in such a state. Don't you know what an umbrella is?" Levi grumbled, putting his displeased mask back on. From his voice, Mikasa could tell he had been worried, and she smiled cautiously, telling him about the ill-fated forest, how she had gotten lost, and how she had been caught in the downpour. She promised not to wander off again and said Levi could be at ease about her. She told him how quiet and beautiful it was there and promised to show Levi the forest if he wanted to take a walk with her. It would probably be much nicer when one knew where one was going and rain was not pouring down from above. Levi listened attentively, sometimes raising an eyebrow in surprise, but remained silent. Of course, he did not tell her how he had been unable to find peace and had feared she might not return. "Silly, reckless girl," he muttered without malice, adding that it was the height of stupidity to go into an unfamiliar forest without telling anyone. As if Mikasa had never been outside the Walls and had no idea how to behave. She only promised that next time she would definitely tell him where she was going, so he could find her if she got lost in the forest. Levi smirked. She was so unselfconscious, as if she had truly forgotten all her problems and hardships for a short while. It had ended well, and he could calmly exhale, relax on the sofa, and think about nothing. Mikasa soon settled into a task that had become familiar over years of service. She took out the medicines and treated his wounds. His hand still looked bad, clearly painful, but his knee no longer needed treatment. Even a body as strong as the Captain's, however, struggled with old, severe injuries. Losing several fingers was terrifying; even more terrifying was seeing how poorly the stumps were healing. She did not bandage his face, only helped Levi apply the ointment. The wounds needed to breathe in order to heal faster. Mikasa had known that for a long time. She accidentally found herself staring at the Captain again. His blue eyes followed her every movement. Mikasa had never noticed how beautiful their pale shade was. She had thought they were grey, like hers, but now, seeing the Captain more often, she could not understand where that idea had even come from. The words escaped faster than Mikasa could think: "No scars can spoil such a handsome face." Levi immediately smirked, not expecting such a sudden compliment. "You find my face handsome?" Mikasa quickly realised what she had just said and lowered her eyes to the floor, trying to hide the rising embarrassment. The feeling of shame was becoming quite tiresome, but she could do nothing about herself. Around Levi, she became awkward, unlike herself, and often felt her cheeks redden under his gaze. Levi suddenly ran his healthy hand over her cheek, drawing her gaze back to him, and looked intently at her soft, feminine features, so familiar and yet, in that same moment, completely foreign, unexplored, and beautiful. They looked at each other as if spellbound, unable to look away. Mikasa froze, waiting for what might happen, and Levi very slowly brought his face closer to hers. He could no longer resist this feeling. Glances were not enough; simple touches were not enough. The air between them seemed to grow warmer from their barely perceptible breaths. "May I...?" Levi whispered, not finishing the question, only running his thumb a little lower, almost touching the line of her lips. He was no longer looking into her eyes, only at her tender, peach-coloured lips, which he wanted so badly to taste. Levi did not remember whether Mikasa nodded or tried to pull away, but he leaned closer and pressed his lips to hers. Her breath caught at once. For a single moment, he caught the faint scent of soap on her skin, touched her weightlessly, balancing on the edge, and simply could not bring himself to do more. He pulled away, glancing briefly at her completely crimson, embarrassed face. She was so cute that he simply could not allow himself anything else. Levi did not trust himself, did not understand why he had done it, giving in to a very strange desire. He brushed his lips against her forehead, softly lowered his hand, barely touching her smooth black hair, then stood and, without saying a word, quickly left. The creak of the stairs behind her brought Mikasa back to reality. What had happened? She did not understand. Why had it happened, and why had Levi stopped? A whirlwind of emotions swept through her. Whether she had liked it, wanted to push him away, or, on the contrary, press closer, Mikasa had no time to understand. She felt only a strange mixture of embarrassment and anger. What the hell had happened to the Captain? What was she supposed to do, and how was she supposed to behave? She immediately jumped up from her place, threw the ointments and bandages into the first-aid kit, and went upstairs after Levi, but returned to her room instead and collapsed onto the bed. Mikasa wished he had not stopped. And that realisation only cut deeper into her already wounded soul. What about her feelings for Eren? And what did she feel for Levi? Why had he pushed her away when he was the one who had drawn closer? Mikasa was completely confused about what lay between them and, exhausted, closed her eyes, falling asleep almost at once.