Dear Diary!
June 25, 2025 at 7:09 AM
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Did I ever mention how much I hate the song "Fake Love"?! Its choreography is literally killing me! This hatred has been festering for years, and only gets stronger with time (unlike my poor, frazzled nerves). Unlike a certain someone whose name starts with "J" and ends with "ungkook", I don’t hit the gym (thank the Bangtan gods!), nor did I sign up for superhero duties. Oh, how glorious it was when the stylists would dress Gukki in a T-shirt under an open shirt — I could just chill there, enjoying the ride. But those days died with the cursed PTD era, when those torturous black blazers came along and my workload skyrocketed. And hello?! I’m not getting any younger!***
LOL, I remembered that fight with Namjoon back in 2018 before bed tonight. Things have always been a bit “tense” between us, if you know what I mean. It actually hurt, okay? And those guys were cackling backstage with the stylists like it was stand-up comedy. Real funny. I'd like to see you get yanked in two directions at once like a damn tug-of-war. I almost popped my stitches! Does no one care about my feelings?!***
The concerts are the worst.
The pressure is insane. And the self-doubt… "What if I can’t handle it this time?" I whisper. Then I pull myself together: "No, you’re strong. You’re independent. You’ve got this!" You know how hard it is to survive this alone? We used to be sewn on in pairs! But not anymore — noooo, now I'm a lone warrior on the battlefield. What if one of the ARMYs faints from the sheer beauty of my carrier? Am I supposed to be responsible?! How do I live with that?! (P.S. He even oiled his abs today — like he's daring me to pop open. Oh, it's on, buddy. It's on.)***
I'm sorry, but this is the final straw!
HE LAUGHED!!! Yanked extra hard on purpose and then pretended to be trying to button up while snorting! It hurts, okay? He's undermining all my hard work! Why am I even here, then? Just let him go onstage shirtless already! I finally get what Jimin’s jackets must feel when he throws them off his shoulders. Jimin, if you can’t wear clothes properly — don’t wear them at all!!!***
Totally zoned out staring at JK’s fingers while he was buttoning me up. Then unbuttoning. Then buttoning again. And unbuttoning again. Back and forth. Not gonna lie, I kinda liked it. Is it normal for a button to have a kink?***
I’ve decided to just let go.
Nobody’s sending me to therapy (which honestly, would help), so I’m becoming my own psychologist. Had a heart-to-heart in the wardrobe today with Taehyung’s Michael Kors boxers (don’t ask how they ended up on our shelf). Turns out they flash the audience on purpose! Paid off the pants to ride lower — they say hiding all the time gets exhausting, and they just want their moment of fame. I even asked them about Taehyung’s size. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t be curious? But they stayed tight-lipped — "confidential", "contract", blah blah blah. Though they did let out this very telling sigh, so… I think I got the picture. Oops, I digress. Back to the job — honestly, things aren’t that bad. At least I’m always in the spotlight. And if my little wardrobe malfunctions make fans happy, then maybe it’s part of my job description? Not that it was in the description, but still. Besides, even Yoongi got completely screwed over with choreography at one point. So there’s that. Sigh.***
April 9, 2022. First day of the Vegas concert.
Ohhh they cropped the shirt! Now you can see Kook’s flat tummy whenever he raises his arms — no more stress for me. Can’t wait for the next blazer to stop at nipple height, lol! What a time to be alive! Honestly, I’m lucky to be assigned to JK. Can’t even imagine what Namjoon’s glasses go through — always getting bent, snapped, scarred for life. Don’t even get me started on shattered lenses. Me? I’ve only been torn off a couple of times. Oh. Well.***
So yeah, my daily life is intense and full of drama. Whether to envy me or not — that’s up to you. I’ve got seven lives left before I retire. Not sure I’ll make it to 2027. Just in case, I might ask Jungkook to google the prices of purple coffins for ARMYs. Y’know… for motivation. There may be many of us, but I’m his one and only. Love you, Jungkook. Smooches!
