The Diary of the Younger Morningstar

I open my eyes and see a bright blue ceiling. So, I’m still at Paula’s place. I look around and don’t see her nearby. But the raven is sitting and watching me. A cute bird, but I don’t care about him right now. My head feels like it was hit hard with a brick by Chester, and then by all his friends. I can almost hear the ringing in my ears. I must have fallen head back yesterday. Was it yesterday? What time is it? I glanced at my watch, which was miraculously back on my wrist. Only an hour had passed. It’s terribly strange, but I can’t even imagine why anyone would need my watch. To see my step count or something? Or to poke around in my browser history? Come on, there’s nothing there that would be useful to… to anyone except me. Okay, what do we have anyway? Apparently, it all has something to do with me, but for what, how and why is not yet clear. This first vision clearly meant that the queen was killed by her own mother. Well, it makes sense, how else could the change of dynasty have happened? I just didn’t know that it was the queen in the beginning, that was the confusion. Next, a lullaby. Apparently, the queen was singing. To her daughter? She had a one-year-old girl. Surely, she sang this to her. And why the hell do I need this information? Next, God, who said to protect some child at any cost. A girl no less. And God didn’t have time to say the name. Maybe he was talking about the queen’s daughter? Unlikely, of course, but anything is possible. Next, the queen and her mother. Her mother ate her own hair. Ugh, disgusting, that picture still makes me sick… In any case, if I consider the vision where the little queen cursed her mother and promised her revenge, then I can assume that this is how Queen Nero took revenge on her mother for cutting off her hair as a child. The queen obviously loved revenge. There were other cases… I wonder why in that vision King Lucifer was so afraid of his mother and didn’t confront her. Was he afraid of her too? Although, it’s also may be true, she’s twice as tall as him. He physically couldn’t. And their father, King Satan, was most likely not at home. Otherwise, he would have interfered, right? …Right? I hope so. What if he cheated on the queen and didn’t protect the children? I don’t want to believe it. My guardian spoke very well and warmly of him and his reign, it’s unlikely that she would lie to me or anything like that. And that last vision… Or was it not a vision? I didn’t understand what it was. “Be careful. Sometimes, you don’t see the road you’re walking. Be careful not to end up falling into the abyss.” Was it Lilith? And why was Paula so nervous when we spoke? What and why can she hide? There is a connection here, I just can’t see it yet. And that theory of mine… I want to check if there are any messages in the diary. I don’t know, all the capital letters? Date? Maybe there is a discharge that I did not notice? I hear Paula’s voice. She is apparently talking to her grandmother. - Daughter, why did you bring this toad here? Do you want to upset your mother? - She’s my friend, I… - Honey, but we’re in my house. You can’t just bring whoever you want here. You don’t want me to have a heart attack from disappointment one day, do you? — No, no, I don’t want to. I’m sorry, Mom, I… Okay, I won’t do that again. — That’s nice, my little one. And now, be nice, bring mommy a white wine, right? Over there, from the shelf. Please and thank you. Oh, and call this… friend of yours here. I moved away from the door so that I wouldn’t be hit on the head by the door. Yes, I always knew that Madame Berla never loved me. Paula walked into the room and looked at me. - Well… How are you doing? - It’s fine. I… in good trim. - Mom… - Grandmom. — …She wants to talk to you. I opened the door for Paula to get out first and then to go out herself. Madame looked me up and down with a contemptuous look of emerald eyes, straightened her red hair and crossed her legs, her arms crossed too. - Will you have wine? - Thank you, I don’t drink. And I don’t advise you. Heart problems. She hummed and laughed. - Don’t act like a saint, girl. We are all in Hell, we are all sinners. Either you were mistakenly assigned to Hell, or you are not as holy as you want to seem. - Even the angels in Heaven are not sinless, because they were once people. Only God’s soul is pure, but I do not claim his place. And I don’t drink alcohol only because it will make your eternity, already excruciating, even more painful. - To hell with your moralizing. What difference does it make to you what my eternity will be? - Personally, I don’t care. You should care about your eternity. And yet, I dare to assume that this is not what you called me for. — Yes, that’s right. My daughter… - Granddaughter. - Yes, my daughter… - Granddaughter. — Daughter. - Granddaughter. - What difference does it make?! — A big difference. The daughter is the girl you gave birth to, who was Hellen. And the granddaughter is your daughter’s daughter, Paulina. Completely different levels of kinship. - Okay! She told me that you see visions I looked reproachfully at Paula, and she looked away guiltily. Her grandmother took a sip of wine, and I crossed my arms over my chest. - And? And what business is it of yours what I see and what I don’t see? - Well, your visions seem very unusual. - I’ll repeat myself, even though I shouldn’t. What business is it of yours? - I was hoping you’d tell me more. - Your hopes are your problems. I won’t tell you anything, and I won’t tell Paula anything now either. — Why? Is it so important? — Don’t try, I’ll keep quiet, like Azonchik Alexander Semenovich. — Do you even know who this is? — I know. My dislike of history doesn’t cancel the need to know it. — And who is this? — And you yourself don’t know? — I know, do you know? — I know. — So, tell me. — So, if we both know, then why should I tell you? — You tell Paula, not me. I looked at Paula. — Do you want me to tell you? — Well, to be honest, no. I turned back to her mother, who was on the verge of exploding with anger. — You heard her. — It doesn’t matter! Shouldn’t you go anyways? — Yes, you’re right. Paula, do you want to come with me? Paula pointed at her mother with her eyes. She won’t let her go. — I don’t want to… I sighed. With her unbearable mother, it was hard to expect anything else. And Madame Berla was reveling in my disappointment that Paula wouldn’t go with me. I stood up and left without a word. It was late evening now, and I still wanted to vacuum and… What else did I want? Oh, right! Vacuum and go to the store. I walked around the corner of Paula’s house and walked into a twenty for seven store. I called my guardian to find out what I needed to buy at the store, but she hung out the call and texted. — I can’t talk, something happened?

I just wanted to go to the store, what do I need to buy? —

— I don’t need anything, I’ve already gone to store, bought everything, so you can go home - And I’ve called for a cleaning in the house, so it’s clean, don’t worry about it Okay, that’s terribly strange. So caring, thinks about me, and not about finding a man… Why would it be? Why did my life turn upside down so dramatically? What was I guilty of? What kind of punishment is that? Jeffry called out to me. - Wait! We need to talk, please! - What could we possibly talk about? You cheated on my friend, cruelly left her, I calmed her down for years, you destroyed her whole psyche, which even her impossible grandmother wasn’t able to destroy, and now you run after her and want to talk?! Are you a fool, or yes? - Listen, I really love her! I made a mistake, I know I’m terrible, I don’t know how much I need to beg her to forgive me! - She’s going on a date with someone else. Day after tomorrow. Jeff really looks like he’s about to cry. And for him, this is quite a common thing. He is a demon-shark, and for them it is quite common to always cry. And this is not even a stereotype, but a very cruel reality. He buried his hands in his curly black hair, and his dark eyes got all misty. I kinda feel very sorry for him, but I wouldn’t forgive betrayal either, just like Paula. - Why do I have everything but love? - Because you have nothing. Yes, you are a successful racer. You’ve got a cool car. You’re drinking. You can get any woman and any trophy if you train. It seems like Paradise to you, doesn’t it? But people who have enough of everything in life do not behave like this. — And you are so wise that you deny your own feelings all your life. — False statement. - It’s obvious to everyone except you. Admit it, you fell in love with Paula as much as I did, and that’s why you don’t want us to be together again. - You’re talking nonsense, Jeffry. - Oh, really? Are you trying to convince me or yourself? - I’m not trying to convince anyone! It’s you who wants her back and all head over heels, and I’m her friend! - Are you sure of that? Honestly, after all the nonsense that happened to me in the last two days, I’m not sure about anything anymore. But he doesn’t need to know that. And I’m going to stop telling Paula too. — I’m sure. Just leave us both alone. Can’t you see you’re just causing her pain? She’s only putting up with your existence because you’re a barista at our café. — Why don’t you go to another place if I’m such a problem? — Because this is our special place. It’s not just a café, it’s history! It’s our history, she and I grew and changed in that café, back when you didn’t even know Lina existed! — You sound like you’re jealous — Screw you! I slapped him in the face and walked home at a brisk pace. Psycho! How do they even hire such people? I’d curse him, but I don’t want to waste so much energy on this jerk. Moreover, a curse requires permission and an age of at least two hundred and fifty years… Feelings! How could Jeff even come up with that! Me? Feeling? For her? She’s like a sister to me! I’m so furious, I’d knock his teeth out! My hands started to burn like Hell, and it would seem sparks began to fall from my hair… Well, what else did I expect? I am fireborn after all. I really should be more careful about it — one day I might accidentally set him on fire. Or rather, burn him. I came home, opened the door and yelled. — Hey, ma’am, are you home? — Yeah, Selena, I’m in the kitchen! — Don’t go anywhere, I want to talk. I walked into the kitchen and saw my guardian fixing her hair. A new color again. Blond with a green bangs. — It looks good on you. She smiled, squinting with her blue eyes. — Awww, thanks! What did you want to talk about? Definitely not about my new hair color. — I’m experiencing something really strange… — Has puberty ended? — No, it’s something different. I’m seeing some weird stuff. — That’s not my area; you should go to a mental hospital. — It’s not hallucinations, it’s visions. — Wow, well, tell me more about that — I have visions about a queen. — Which one? — The Younger Morningstar. — She hasn’t been “younger” for twenty years. She has a daughter now. — “Has?” So, is she still alive? — Yeah. And someone takes care of her. — How do you know that? — Let’s just say, I’ve known the queen personally for a long time. I know her daughter too. — Did you serve them? — It’s not service, it’s friendship. We’ve been through fire and water together. I remember her as a lil’ girl five feet with hat on her head standing on high heels. — Then I have a feeling our conversation will be pretty long. — I have no plans. I’ve been waiting for this conversation, in fact. Ask me anything you want. — How long have you known her? — Since school. Let me count… She paused and tapped the table with her blue manicure. — It’s been a thousand nine hundred eighty-nine years now. The anniversary is on the first of September. — Do you know why I have visions? — I know why. It’s beneficial for some people. The visions are real. Soon you’ll have a new type of vision, but that will be later. I can’t say more. — Did Nero give you orders before she died? Made you swear? — Not orders, but instructions. And she’s not the type to force anyone into anything. — Alright. Why am I and not someone else seeing all this? — You’re directly tied to this story. What that connection is, I’m not allowed to say, but you’ll find out soon enough. Just not from me and not now — What role does the diary play in all this? — A key one. It guides you and contains crucial information. You were given it for a reason. — Are the professors also her friends? — Well, they’re more like her servants but they kinda volunteered for their roles. — I see something in the diary that Paula doesn’t. — That’s how it should be. You’ll see more in any diary in your course than others do. And you need to tell your friend everything. — What? Why? She’s clearly hiding something from me. — And you shouldn’t trust her. It’s part of the queen’s plan. Just do what she wants. — You talk about the queen like she’s alive. Present tense. She smirked. — You’re just like your mother, way too smart for your own good. Miss Angelina rarely talks about my parents, and when she does, she always mentions how much I resemble them. Feels flattering enough to me. — So, is it true? She’s alive? — She’s alive, but you’ll keep quiet about it until she let you say something. She reached out her hand to me and I shook it, vowing on magic. — I swear to keep silent until I’m allowed to speak. What have I just gotten myself into? — Who else knows? — A few people. — Are the others alive too? — Yeah, they are. And they have a plan. They’re in a safe place. The Wayten family doesn’t know, although they suspect. — Does the daughter help them? — You could say that. — Why did Queen do all that spectacle? — It’s revenge on her mother. You’ve already seen the reasons for her anger, right? — Yes, I did. I saw mother cut her hair. But hasn’t she already gotten back at her? The queen made her eat her own hair. — You can’t pay back many years of suffering in just one day. Do you have more questions? — Yes, what does Paula have to do with all this? Does she know? Is she with us or against us? — She has a direct connection. Don’t trust her but share the diary and visions. Keep quiet about this conversation. She’s unpredictable and we don’t know which side she’ll pick. When Lilith finds out about you and tries to intimidate you—don’t believe her. She’ll deceive, blackmail, threaten — whatever it takes to get you out of game dead or alive. Don’t fear her, don’t underestimate her, but be prepared. She’s your enemy number one, dear. — What makes you think I’m going to listen to you and believe you? — Because you’re not stupid. — But I have exams coming up soon! I don’t have time for that. — You’ll manage. Don’t underestimate yourself, you have the blood of very powerful demons running through you. Passing your exams is definitely not your biggest prob. — But will I be able to handle my other problems? — Of course you will. — Why do you believe in me so much? — Because I have no reason not to believe in you. You should believe in yourself too. Because your minimum is a maximum for many. Do you know a lot of people who are the best not just in university but in every interpretation? — No? — Well, you’re in the top fifty of Christian Hell. — What?! — What? Only the royal family and the elders are above you. — I had no idea there was such a ranking! — Well, people who know barely talk about it, so that the demons don’t get disappointed in themselves because of their intelligence levels. — And who makes this list? — Magic. It’s just not possible otherwise. I closed my eyes for a second. This is all so awful. — Alright. What should I do now? — Read the diary and look for clues. Share it with your friend and get ready, it’s going to be extremely tough. — What will be the hardest thing I’ll have to do? — The long journey will probably be the hardest. But I think you’re prepared enough. — When will that be? — It depends on you. The faster you solve all the trials, the faster you’ll move on. — Trials? Why? — So that only you can pass. Paula will be stopped by magic at the very end. — So, she must help me? — Someone else will convince her, don’t worry about that. I took a deep breath. It seems I knew nothing about myself, my guardian, or even Paula. Even about the royal family I’m studying, I don’t know anything. Though, to be fair, it turns out no one knows anything. — Are you going to eat? — What did you make? — Cheese soup with mushrooms. You eat that, right? — Yeah, thanks. I grabbed myself a bowl of soup and heated it up in the microwave. I have no desire to work magic right now. I started eating, but the food already seems insignificant. If I need to sort all this out, sleep is just a dream at this point. I got a message on my phone. It’s from the chat for our course, and there are already hundreds of messages. Amelia, our class rep, wrote that we have an exam in basic magic tomorrow… I’m not sleeping tonight. First, I’m cramming everything I can, then… then the diary. A second message came in. And coursework on health. Third… the drawing credit. Fourth… the orchestra exam session… Fifth… and even the phys ed fitness test… and all of this in one day?! I’m going to have to pray for the auto pass to help. Though, I don’t even know a single prayer. — You look like a war with Heaven just started for the second time. — Exam, coursework, credit, exam session, and fitness test to top it off. — I’ll make a deal with the professors. — No, I want to pass everything myself. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be fair. — Stubborn and honest just like your mother. I fell silent for a couple of seconds. — So, what’s she like overall? In terms of character, appearance… — Your first mother is usually very strict and serious. A workaholic who forgot what normal sleep feels like. Nevertheless, she loves her wife endlessly. And she was really happy about your arrival. You were a very desired daughter, but she had to leave you to me. For your own safety. — So that’s why she never visited me? — You’d be in danger if she came. — What danger? I’m immortal! — Please believe me. Huge danger. She made it so you had a normal childhood. Do you think it would have been better to sit in fear within four walls? — I don’t know I looked at the floor, not knowing what to feel. Could it really be that there’s something so terrible threatening me that giving me to another woman to raise is the best solution? — Can you tell me more? — Your first mom is also a tarot reader. She’s one thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight years old. — What’s her name? — Nanami. — Is she Japanese? — Just like you. Interesting, what if we went on a trip together to the Earth, to Japan? I bet we’d have a good time together… — She has a fire element, just like you. And you have her eyes. Only your hair comes from her second mother. — What’s she like? — She’s… a bit capricious. She’s light-hearted. Playful. Full of life. A wandering dancer. She paused her travels for a while for her wife and daughter, that is, you. But she never stopped dancing. She could go without food and sleep, but not dancing was impossible for her. She loves nothing more than freedom. She always said, “No palace can ever replace my freedom.” She possesses the wind element. Her name is Hina. She’s one thousand seven hundred eighty-six years old. I’ve heard this hundreds of times. I’ve asked hundreds of times. Always got the same answer. But I just love hearing about them. From what she says, they sound really cool. If I ever see them, I’ll be super happy. I’d probably hug them first thing. And… I’d spend eternity with them. The day of my happiness will come. I don’t want redemption; I’d be way better off in Hell than on Earth. Earth is the real Hell. Compared to Hell, Earth is a lot worse. The ecology is at its lowest, the economy is collapsing before our eyes, there’s corruption, poverty, discrimination, racism everywhere… Alright, we also have stereotypes about races, or rather, types, but here that’s considered criminal and the government actively fights against it. Everyone has long ago agreed that blood isn’t pure or muddy, but rather one-type or dual-type. Anyway, Hell isn’t as terrible as people think. — When can I see them? — Soon. Now that’s something new. — Why? Is the danger going to pass? — Yes. My eyes lit up, and I’m confused. Am I really going to see them? After all these years? — How soon? — About three months. Early August. Tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks, burning my skin, and goosebumps ran across my body. Angelina hugged me, and I leaned into her. All my dreams are about to come true. I’ll have my very own family. What is happening to my life? Where is it racing off so fast? A second ago I uncovered a secret that could get me killed by the royal family, and now I’m hearing that I’ll meet my parents. Am I asleep? What’s going on? Since when did my life turn into such chaos? It all feels so damn unreal… — Just tell me you’re not joking… — I’m not joking. I’m serious. You’ll see them really soon. And you’ll be living with them. I felt a jolt. The thought hits me… Wow. I’m going to live with them? Am I moving in? Angelina wiped my tears away and smiled. — You’re going to love it there. They have a big, spacious house. A garden, a pool. A library. Even a little vegetable patch. — I don’t care what their house is like. I’ll just be happy to live with them… — Do you love them even though you don’t know them? — And I can’t explain it. I have every right to hate them; they left me for twenty years, but I can’t help but feel warmth at the thought of seeing them. — That’s totally okay, Selena. It’s completely normal to feel that way. — Yeah, yeah, I know… Do you think it’s forgivable for me to fall asleep now? There’s just too much information; my brain is boiling… - Yeah, of course, moonlight. Go on, get some sleep. Goodnight. - Thanks, you too… I walked into the room and crashed onto the bed just in what I was wearing. Finally, the bed. Sleep. It doesn’t matter how much work I have tomorrow. I’ll manage, I’m not dumb… For a moment, I felt as if a gentle woman’s hand touched me, it was as if someone’s long manicure got tangled in my hair. Maybe I even heard the sound of heels clicking. Maybe I’m already guessing who it is. But I felt so calm that I immediately fell asleep, replaying that very lullaby in my mind.