wanderer's lullaby

Winter eventually found herself coming to, still tucked into Qrow’s sid. He had dozed off himself, an arm around her. She froze as it dawned on her what had happened. She had fallen asleep against him. Her greatest fear had come true in a sense. She had never wanted to be soul vulnerable around a man. But… But he hadn’t done anything to her. Unless one counted holding her close. But she hadn’t been raped, assaulted, or otherwise violated as far as she could tell. His arm rested around the small of her back and waist, but there was nothing odd about that. She’d held Weiss like that countless times. If this had been any other man, she would have expected the worst. But, as far as she could tell, he’d only slightly moved her so she’d be more comfortable resting against his side and she could hold her. She felt her scroll vibrate and she shifted to answer it. Texts from Sarah. There were quite a few. Mostly want to know where she was and such. SHe told her that she was on Patch and not to worry too watch. She’d join her tomorrow. She felt a bit under the weather but she’d be fine. The girl did notneed to know she was recovering from a psychologically draining morning. By time she looked up, Qrow had woken due to her shifting. “My apologies; I didn’t mean to wake you.” She really hadn’t meant to. She wanted to answer her scroll. There was no telling how long she would’ve waited she had been intent on not waking him. Her scroll read about 430 so both of them had been out for a few hours. Qrow shook his head. “Naw, it’s fine. I didn’t want to wake you up, so I decided it was a good idea to catnap.” He smiled at her and gave her a soft squeeze. “Feeling any better, snowdrop?” The sudden change in nickname made her face heat up a bit. S-Snowdrop? She brushed her bangs back and nodded. “A lot better. Thank you.” She really did. She wasn’t one to really sleep in the middle of the day like this, but it had helped reset her mind. She felt more mentally and emotionally stable than she’d been before. She still couldn’t believe he’d not committed any crimes against her while she’d been incapacitated. He lightly pressed his lips to her forehead before smiling at her again. “Would you like to eat? I know it’s a little early, but you haven’t had anything since this morning.” She didn’t normally eat for another half hour or even longer, but she did feel a hunger hole where her stomach should’ve been. “That’s probably a good idea.” She took the blanket off then stood, and folded it before putting it back on the couch. They headed into the kitchen where Winter sat at the counter and Qrow heated up their meal. He placed her plate in front of her and she started eating. However, she couldn’t find herself saying quiet entirely .”I’m…surprised you didn’t try anything to me.” Her voice was quiet, trying to not accuse him of anything. But he could read her aura. He would know her by this type of situation was one of her greatest fears. She couldn’t even sleep if he was in the same room as her. And yet… Qrow shook his head. “Honestly, I wasn’t thinking of anything like that. I forgot that was a trigger for you. I was only thinking of trying to get you calmed down. Can you forgive me for being so stupid?” “…You would know if I were upset.” He would have. It would’ve been all over her aura. He had genuinely been trying to help her, so she saw no reason to be angry. Still, she was absolutely shocked he hadn’t tried anything against her. It would’ve been so easy to take advantage of her. Aura-induced sleep seemed to be much deeper than natural sleep. She had been truly incapacitated. “True. But still; I stand by what I said some time ago. I really have no interest in having sex with you, Winter. If you want to explore that of your own curiosity, I’ll do that. But I’m not going to initiate it.” He shook his head. She wasn’t sure if he was asexual or what. The one book on the GRSM community had covered that, Or was he only interested in Summer? If she let Summer cohab, that might be a different story, but he had outright told the woman to shut up as much as possible. He was seemingly pretty loyal to Winter despite how little they actually knew each other. “All right. I doubt I’ll take you up on that.” She sincerely doubted she would. Sex scared her more than anything. It really did. Being physically vulnerable to somebody like that… She had no idea how anybody could do that so casually. Apparently, it felt good, but she doubted that. Plus, there was the risk of ending up with children. She couldn’t imagine how that would go. She couldn’t change her life so drastically let alone at such a young age. Qrow rubbed the back of his neck, obviously wanting to say something. She sighed and made a motion to let him speak. “Sorry if it seems like me pushing the topic but…you doknow there are ways to prevent getting pregnant, right?” She felt herself go deer in the headlights and shook her head. She had really had never heard of that. “I’ll keep it at there are both medical and over-the-counter options. I just…don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to force you into it.” She brushed her bangs out of her face. “I…honestly had no idea. I really know nothing of sexuality beyond bare basics. I…didn’t even know people could prevent themselves from having children.” She had seen so many large families while down in Mantle. Six, eight, ten children. She sincerely thought that women were simply supposed to have as many children as possible. Even a lot of upper-class families were huge. How had she never known that was a— Okay, that question was stupid. She didn’t even need to finish it. Atlas was Atlas. If anything could give women control, it would be discouraged. He nodded. “Like I said, I’m not trying to push it. But if you ever do want to try, there are options to stop you from getting pregnant. Valian health insurance covers birth control and since you’re on mine…” He flapped his hand. “Again, not that I’m trying to force the issue. I’m just letting you know.” She doubted she would take him up on it at all. Sex scared her so badly. Though, given Qrow’s gentleness— She shelved the thought. No. She would never even entertain that behavior. It was terrifying. “I…will keep it in mind but don’t hold your breath.” She hoped that he hadn’t sensed that digression. He didn’t seem the type to pounce on something like that, but she couldn’t be sure. She didn’t understand how something so brutal could be so pleasurable. It was only for the man’s pleasure and to have children. There was nothing else to it. They finished up eating and Qrow put their dishes in the dishwasher. He did something on his scroll, then went to the living room with her. “Hey snowdrop—” The nickname made her flush again. “—in about 45 minutes, want to do a beach campfire? We can sit outside and enjoy the night.” He smiled at her and she tilted her head. “People…do that?” Fires weren’t common in Atlas unless they were in the field and need to keep warm. Or they were in fireplaces. People had campfires for fun. That…was strange to her. “Why 45 minutes though?” “I ordered a few things that need to be delivered here. Until then…” He pushed the coffee table up against the wall and offered his hand to her. “Want to pick up where we left off?” He smiled at her. Despite herself, she felt a small smile make its way to her lips. They picked up with the jitterbug where they’d last been. Thankfully, she did have superb muscle memory, so she didn’t need too much of a refresher. She really found herself enjoying it more this time since she wasn’t stumbling and falling all over herself now. She still needed to fully learn the dance style, but it was much better this time. Eventually, though, Winter found herself resting against Qrow while he wrapped his arms around the small other back. She was far from breathless, but the reprieve from the energetic dance was nice. “Dancing with you is a lot of fun.” She looked up at Qrow after he spoke. He smiled at her, then brushed a hand down the side of her face. Despite herself, she found herself leaning into the gesture. His hand remained on her cheek. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good dance partner…” She frowned a bit. “Even though I really only know the waltz? You’ve having to teach me styles from scratch…” How could she be a good dance partner like that? Having to teach somebody was annoying quite often. She wasn’t like Weiss where she could pick up things almost immediately. She had to fight to learn them and take time to do so. Qrow’s smile didn’t falter. “You learn quickly and you clearly love the artform. In that case, I feel comfortable calling you a good dance partner. You’re eager and willing to learn. I don’t see any reason to not do so.” She felt heat creep into her cheeks. She wasn’t thatgood. She struggled to learn most things in a reasonable amount of time. She was always willing to learn. Dance was one of the few things she enjoyed in life. “As long as you’re willing to teach, I’m willing to learn…” She would never turn down that opportunity. Learning would get her so far in the world. She had had knowledge restricted for her so much of her life. She was hungry for knowledge. She wasn’t Weiss but she really did love learning. He placed his forehead against hers and she felt her blush heat up even further. “As long as you’re willing to learn, I’m willing to teach.” His voice dipped a bit and she felt her heart rate spiked. She had never been so close to anybody like this before. It should’ve felt wrong, her mind should’ve been screaming at her, but it was silent and— A loud knock on the front door made her jump and she knocked her forehead against Qrow’s “Ow!” She stepped back, one hand on her forehead. “That’s…probably your delivery.” Yes, bury it. Bury what had nearly almost happened. Do not dwell on it. Focus on the moment at hand. “Yeah… Yeah…” Qrow went over to the front door while Winter sat on the couch. Damn, that had hurt like hell. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten so close to a man without her internal security system blaring at her. She heard Qrow go upstairs and she came down with a guitar. She had noticed that sitting in Summer’s room more than once. It was his? He hadn’t struck her has the musical type. Then again, he had sung her those songs the first night they’d met. Had he really been so musically inclined? He replaced the strings and spent a while getting it in tune. He placed it in a case, then stood and offered his arm. “Want to head out?” “I suppose we should.” She wrapped her arms around his as they headed through the forest. It was humid and stuff as they went, but it was soon replaced with a sweet sea breeze that kissed her face. The sun had started its descent but time remained in the day. “Mind helping me get the fire started?” They scavenged for wood long the edge of the forest and eventually came up with enough for a small fire. Once built, they sat down while they waited for it ti fully build up. In the meanwhile, Qrow took out his guitar and started strumming. It did make for a lovely addition to the calm atmosphere. “Have any requests?” Winter frowned. “The only songs I know are classical Atlassian. They probably wouldn’t transfer well to guitar. I…don’t really listen to music.” She heard the music that played on the radio when she was in a car, but she was usually lost in her thoughts. She had grown up in silence and maintained that in her life outside of Schnee manor. It was what she was used to. She didn’t need background noise like other people did. “Shoulda guessed. Oh well. I know plenty of songs.” He strummed and started to sing softly. “I met a man. He had a dream…” The song was incredibly pleasant, but his voice did eventually break up as he reached a certain point in the song. She hesitated before resting a hand on his shoulder. He finished up the song and simply strummed other songs for a while. He didn’t sing them but he did hum the melodies which were entirely foreign to her. But in time, he put the guitar down, then got into his bag and picked up a couple of long, skinny sticks. He took a couple of marshmallows out and put them on the sticks. “Ever had s’mores before?” She shook her head. The word was entirely foreign to her as was what they were doing. It…was nice though. She didn’t have to sit too close to the fire and the sea breeze helped cool her down. “The term is new to me.” She was fluent in Valian but it wasn’t like she knew a lot of colloquialisms. Something like ‘s’mores’ was definitely one. “What are they?” “You roast a marshmallow over the fire, then put it between chocolate and graham crackers. It’s definitely a sweet bomb but it’s good.” He smiled at her. She wasn’t usually one to eat a lot of sweets, but a little bit of splurging couldn’t hurt, she supposed. “You can toast your marshmallow as much or as little as you want.” She nodded then got closer to the fire to stick her marshmallow over it. Things fell quiet in the meanwhile, but it wasn’t the usual silence that existed in her life. It was soft and companionable. It was…different for her. She had so few people in the world she could have silence with. Between her and Weiss, there was always anxiety and fear there. Fear of being discovered, anxiety of expectation, not really knowing how to hold a normal conversation… She only spent her time around the Ace Ops professionally. And when it came to the general, she was usually pressed up against him. Eventually, she pulled her marshmallow out; it was a lovely shade of golden brown. Qrow quickly made up the rest for her and she bit into it. It was quite warm and incredibly sweet. Not to mention sticky. It almost felt like her teeth were going to rot out from how sweet it was. But like the rest of the evening so far, it wasn’t bad. Different, but not bad. She was enjoying this lowkey evening after the severe anxiety and emotional upheaval a lot of the morning. The rest of the evening passed relatively quietly. They alternated between music and s’mores, getting filled up on the sticky, sweet treats. But the sun lowered on the horizon and Qrow kicked sand over the fire to put it out. They headed back to the house in companionable silence. It was so strange to not talk to somebody yet feel comfortable about it. They made it back to the house and Qrow offered a hug to Winter. She took it, then leaned up and kissed his cheek. She saw his face turn a handsome shade of red. “I, uh—” “You didn’t manipulate me into it if that’s what you’re worried about. Thank you for today.” She smiled at him, then excused herself to Summer’s room. She quickly called the general store to tell them she felt a bit under the weather so she wouldn’t be there for stocking that night. She took the meds that had been prescribed to her, changed into her pajamas, then laid down for a hopefully restful night.