wanderer's lullaby

The blaring alarm practically stopped Winter’s heart when she heard it. She slammed her hand down on one of the buttons to make it stop. Holy Father, what a mess. She was simply so used to waking up on time naturally or, if she had to use an alarm, she used a softer ringtone on her scroll. She’d go back to that. The loud alarm clock wouldn’t do her anxiety any favors when waking up. It was almost a little strange to wake before dawn again. She was used to being awake afterwards now. But she set the thought aside and ran through her morning routine. She headed downstairs to heat up breakfast and found Qrow waiting for her at the table. He’d already heated her breakfast up for her. “Monin’, snowy. You sleep well last night?” He slid the plat across the table and she sat down. “Thanks to your sister, yes.” She was thankful for Raven’s willingness to put her to sleep each night. It was at least a stopgap measure to help her until she could get her medications. She still wasn’t particularly looking forward to that appointment. Part of her doubted the woman she’d be talking to wouldn’t sell her information under the table. She’d simply have to wait to see what all played out tomorrow in the tabloids. “Well, hopefully that’ll end today. I can sense you’re still tense about the appointment but it’ll be okay. Ramone’s trustworthy. I promise.” She really didn’t feel so certain about that. People would do anything for a big payday. What could be a bigger payday than inside scoop on the Schnee family? The Atlassian tabloids would pay big money for that. A lot of people would be morethan willing to get rid of their jobs for a scoop like that. Why would this woman be any different? “You speak of help. Shouldn’t you be getting some yourself?” He wanted herto get help but he clearly needed some himself. How tightly he clung to a dead woman wasn’t healthy. And she still wasn’t sure she could trust him not to drink. She hadn’t seen him touch a drop since he’d been in her apartment but even so. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. He would be tempted and give in at some point. She had almost no doubt about that. He sighed. “I probably should. You’re right about that.” He frowned. “But there are secrets I can’t reveal to anybody without good reason. Ramone is a psychiatrist, not a therapist.” “There’s a difference?” She hadn’t known. Then again, it wasn’t like she was aware that there were even two different words. She had never been one to really be around the mental health world. This was her first time even learning this was okay in Vale. in Atlas, this sort of thing could get somebody removed from active duty. They were deemed mentally unfit and removed. They could even get discharged. She’d already been discharged, so there was no worry about it happening to her. But she’d seen multiple women removed for being hysterical. It…wasn’t pretty. Qrow nodded. “Normal therapists are for long-term talk treatment. Psychiatrists deal with medication. You’ll be talking to the latter today. I know both of us really do need help, but you don’t like trusting people period. I can’ttrust people because of the secrets I hold.” Oh. She hadn’t expected there to be a difference. Well, that was good to know. She probably should open up to somebody, but she really couldn’t bring herself to. This one appointment would be hard enough. She couldn't imagine dredging this up multiple times. “I see.” Yeah, she was glad she wouldn’t have to dredge the past up more than necessary. She’d be an absolute wreck if she had to talk about her abuse over and over again. How did people manage doing that on a regular basis? It made no sense to her. She wouldn’t be able to do it. She frowned though. Weiss was going to need a lot of help. She had never left Schnee manor before. Would therapy be good for her? If Winter set an example, Weiss would almost be sure to follow… What a mess. She had time to give it thought at least . “Could you get medications from Ramone to help with your issues?” She really didn’t know anything about the world of psychiatric medication. She didn’t know what all help he would need—or want. She was really shooting in the dark here. He clearly needed help too. Plus, the courts would probably look on him favorably if he actively sought help when looking at who was better for the girls. “They would be in need of constant monitoring which would need weekly meetings with a therapist. So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Winter frowned at his words. That was unfortunate. It honestly seemed like he was willing to get help if not for whatever secrets he held. She was at least trying. She wished she could do more to help him. “I seem. I’m sorry.” She frowned. So mine won’t require constant monitoring?” She had no idea what sort of medications she was going to get. Something to do with nightmares at least but that was all she knew. She was still incredibly nervous about all of this. Letting someone into her mind wasn’t something she wanted to do. The readings Qrow, Summer, and Raven did were bad enough. Qrow shrugged. “It is what it is. I can’t change it.” That was it? He had given up? She never stopped fighting in her case. She didn’t understand how people could give up so easily. “It’s because I know what’s at stake. The worldwould suffer if these secrets got out. I really can’t let anybody else learn about them. I’m a fighter by nature, but I know when a situation’s hopeless. Want me to take care of your plate?” She looked down at saw she’d finished. “I suppose.” He took the plate and put it in the dishwasher along with her silverware. “I should probably get going.” She didn’t want to be late. She already had her keys so all she needed was Ein. The dog was thankfully asleep in the living room and she lightly petted him. He opened his eyes and raised his head., then said something that sounded like a question. “Can you lead me to town?” The dog hefted himself to his paws then shook his coat out. He slipped through the dog door and she followed him. It was a bit strange to be out in the hushed forest so early. She was used to seeing it at night, not early in the morning. A different energy permeated the forest and she could tell. She wasn’t much used to nature yet. But she would very much have to get used to it due to hunting and falconry. Eventually, they reached the town and he led her to the bakery and she gave a good, strong knock. “Who— Oh right, you’re Qrow’s wife, right? Come in, come in.” The woman smiled and let her inside. They went back to the kitchen where they had already gotten started. A large bowl sat on the counter, covered by a damp kitchen towel. “So how much experience do you have in the kitchen?” The woman smiled at her “A fair bit but none baking.” She used the oven to make casseroles and such, but she had never really baked from scratch before. She simply bought her own bread instead of baking it herself. Why bother when it was easier and more convenient? Plus, the preservatives in mass-produced bread would hold longer than anything she made from scratch. She really wished she could say she had more experience but she didn’t. “If you need help with orders, I can sort those out better than being in the kitchen.” “Well, I suppose I can have you do that then. I’ll teach you our stock.” They slipped out the kitchen and did walk around the store. Winter quickly committed everything to memory and was led behind the counter again. The woman brought up a table and showed Winter the stock of orders. “These are our normal orders that we always get. So if you can sort these out while me and Hank take care of the back end, I’d appreciate it.” “Leave it to me.” Winter picked up the tablet and started piling things into individual bags. There were a lot of orders, but she would probably get them committed to memory in due time if they were consistent. She continued to do that and and stacked all of them on the shelves behind the counter. She knew she was probably taking longer than needed, but she was new. She would learn everything’s place in due time. She always did. She wouldn’t let herself be defeated by something as simple as unfamiliar inventory. She wouldlearn this sooner rather than later. It didn’t feel like it was too long until people started filtering into the baker. Eventually, though a familiar face walked in. “Well, good morning, Miss Winter! I didn’t expect to see you here!” It was Sarah. She hadn’t recognised the last name while filling orders. She supposed she would have to pay more attention to people and their orders from now on. She ought to be getting to know the people of Patch but… “Good morning, Miss Sarah.” She offered a polite bow of her head and handed her the bag of baked goods. “Have a nice day.” Winter offered her a smile. She had seen several people look off put by it. She couldn’t blame them. Smiles didn’t come naturally to her aside from she was with Weiss. Her little sister was the only thing that made in the world. Otherwise, life was empty and devoid of meaning. “Oh, uh, don’t forget about the craft show tomorrow, Miss Winter!” Winter paused at that. Honestly, in the wake of everything, she hadforgotten. She didn’t know how to handle it. “What time would you like me to be at your house tomorrow?” She supposed she could take a minute to talk to the girl. She needed some confidence so skipping out on an event that clearly meant a lot to her wouldn’t help with that. Sarah lit up. “Would nine work? Show opens at eleven and we’ll need some time to set up.” She would still be coming to the bakery to her knowledge that following morning, so she was glad it wasn’t any earlier. People still needed their daily bread. She wasn’t necessarily looking forward to doing this each morning but it wasn’t worse than her military work. “That sounds fine.” Sarah looked like she would practically explode from the excitement. But she nodded, then hustled out the door. Couldn’t be late for school. She was a good-natured kid. Not a bad sort. Her world was just…small. She hoped she could hope prepare her for a wider world and open her eyes to other opportunities. The island really seemed to limit thinking and keep things small for them. A pity. If only they were more open to the world… She received at text from Qrow a while later letting her know that Kali and Sienna had arrived. She still had some time left though… Thankfully, eight rolled around quickly and Hank walked out. “Well I’ll be! You shore did handle this well all by yourself!” “Inventory is nothing new to me.” She shrugged. She was doing inventory at the general store three nights a week and she was so used to making sure her troops got everything they needed. She always double checked to make sure they had the appropriate amount of MREs and similar supplies before missions. She would notbe defeated by something as simple as bakery inventory. “Though I could tell my customer service skills were…lacking.” Hank shrugged. “It’ll be fine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it go smoothly in the mornings. We’ll have you on board for mornings if you’d be willing.” He paused. “We are closed on Saturdays, though. Mainly so we can clean and take orders for the week. I know that puts you down a day but. You seem capable of holding things down pretty well by yourself.” Bakery inventory was nothing. She was already aware of where most things were. “That’s fine. As long as you don’t mind your customers being off put by my manners. Switching from military to civilian life is…difficult.” Strict perfection had been her entire life. Schnee manor and then the miliary. She wasn’t going to make the shift to warm, fake customer service easily. She knew the emotional labor was tough and wouldn’t discount it and the toll it could take on people. “We’re the only bakery on the island. Plus, it’ll let you start putting names to face here. We might get complaints, but you’re clearly a diligent worker. A lotta people would get overwhelmed and freeze up.” Not her. She had been in the field of active combat before. Freezing would mean she or her men dying. She absolutely could notallow anybody lose their lives unnecessarily. She had lost men, of course, but rarely to her own foolishness. “Thank you.” WInter offered a dip of her head to Hank. She gave him a few minutes to say anything else, then dipped her head again. “If that’s all, I’ll be off. I have a meeting to get to.” “All right. See ya on Sunday.” He smiled at her and she left. Ein led her back to the house where she saw a different car in the driveway. She entered the front door where she saw Kali, Sienna, and Qrow sitting in the living room, enjoying some tea. “Apologies for being so late. I was at the bakery.” They had been waiting for quite a while. She felt awful for leaving them to wait for her. They seemed relatively nonplussed by it, though. She hoped they were as calm as they seemed. She wasn’t fond of making people wait. Kali smiled at her and shook her head. “It’s quite all right, Winter. We’ve been having a lovely conversation with Qrow.” Winter glanced at him and he gave a nondescript shrug. She wondered what they’d been talking about but it probably wasn’t any of her concern. She wasn’t nosy unless it came to Weiss. If she could do anything to protect her sister, she wouldstick her nose into that business. But this obviously wasn’t that, so she had no reason to ask. “You want me to be here, snowy, or would you rather leave it between you three? The girls and Taiyang are at school. It’s just us here.” Winter folded her arms and pondered. That was a good question. This conversation would likely be rough. But, on the other hand, it wouldinvolve him. If she got her siblings back, they would come into his life as well. Plus, he already knew about what she’d been through. It wasn’t like she could exactly hide it from him. “You can stay.” She settled in a chair by herself and they launched in a conversation full of legal jargon. She could tell Qrow was struggling to keep up with a lot of it. She felt a little bad but she’d studied damn near every law she could in order to see what she could do to save her little sister. Kali and Sienna did surprise her by keeping up with basically all of it. She hadn’t thought them stupid by any means, but this blew her away. They had clearly studied Atlassian law to an extreme depth. Now she could see how and why Sienna had never had charges to stay against her. She had quite the silver tongue. Dangerous but useful here. After a couple of hours, Winter nodded. “Very well. I’ll trust you to take over the case on my sister. Before then, you’ll be my counsel for the protection program.” They had a plan of a attack which even Gelé would have a hard time escaping. He might have the best PR team on the planet, but she had two of the clearly most experienced women on the planet. Still, none of that conversation had been pleasant. Having to open up those wounds was never easy, let alone having to show somebody the videos. But it was to help her save Weiss. “We’ll open up the case against your father once we get back to Atlas.” Kali’s ears twitched. She could see the woman was uncomfortable, but she wasn’t saying anything against it. She was strong. Winter couldn’t imagine having that much strength. She was so incredibly weak… She gave up against Gelé and slunk off to Vale so she could lick her wounds. “I can get the paperwork that setup for you after we leave,” Sienna put in. Qrow’s scroll went off. “Speaking of leaving, Persia’s here. We need to leave for your appointment, snowy.” Winter sighed. “Forgive me cutting this short, Mrs. Belladonna, Miss Khan.” She stood up and offered them a dip of her head. She didn’t want to miss this appointment. “No, go ahead. We covered everything we needed to.” Kali smiled. They all headed out of the house and Winter settled in the back seat of Persia’s car. She was going to have to rip open her wounds yet again that day. She had no idea what was waiting for her at the appointment. It felt…daunting. She always suppressed her inner demons, never facing them. How was she supposed to survive this? They headed outside and got in the back of Persia’s car. Winter felt herself being to shake as they started pulling away. Though she saw Qrow offer his hand. Hesitantly, she placed hers in it. “It’ll be all right, snowy? Is there anything I can do to help?” She sighed and shook her head. “Not that I can think of.” She was so used to shoving her anxiety down and simply bottling it up. This appointment would unlock so much that she’d kept buried for years. She’d been abused all her life. She hadn’t faced any of those thoughts, feelings, or emotions her entire life. All she could do was shove them down and continue on. If she broke down over everything, she wouldn’t have accomplished a half of what she had. She would have to shove it all back down eventually… They arrived at the building and she didn’t have to wait too long to be called in. The appointment was as rough as she’d thought it be. She had to talk about how sister was in danger, how she feared what Weiss was being subject to, the nightmares about it, and related topics. She ended up bawling by time it ended. The woman was surprisingly gentle, though, and she was obviously trying her best to make things as easy on her as possible. She put the prescriptions in and was told they’d be available later that day. Persia told Qrow she’d pick them up later. In the back of the car, WInter had her knees pulled in her chest, trying to stem the tide of tears. Qrow put the middle sea and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay, snowy; I’m right here. We can see Kiyay once you get back.” He kept reassuring her the entire way back to Patch. Once they got there, he helped her inside and sat with her on the couch. He wrapped a blanket around her and held her close. The of tears had stopped but she felt so raw and vulnerable. It didn’t last too long, though, because she felt a hand on her head and the tug of sleep. He was trying to use his aura to get her to sleep. She didn’t fight it and, within a few minutes, darkness embraced her like an old friend.