wanderer's lullaby

It took Winter a little while to calm down. She remained tucked against Qrow that whole time. And once again, she found herself drawn to him on the sensory front. He carried the same scent as the night she’d ridden Kiroro. The scent of woodsmoke wafting in the distance along with the crisp, fresh air and trees… There was also the faint scent of flowers that she couldn’t quite pin down… He smelled like nature in the best possible way. She wished she could go back out and see the area in daylight since she hadn’t gotten to really see much of it in the shadows of the night. There were so many things she could talk to Dove about too… And his warmth… That intoxicating warmth that perturbed her so much. She didn’t understand why it drew her in so much. It made her want to stay near him at all times. What was it that made her feel like that? What was the warmth that made her act like a moth to a flame? It scared her. She thought it might lead her to do something she might regret… Hopefully, it wouldn’t. She didn’t trust him. It might lead him to try something with her if she wasn’t careful… He ran his hand up and down her back while she sat there. She wished she could do more, but all of this really did scare her. She wanted her little sister free but were so many unknowns in this. How would her timeline be different now that she was a married woman? All she’d planned for could be thrown out. All she’d planned could be thrown out the window or it could be still on track. She really didn’t know… She just wanted her little sister to be safe and free from Gelé and Atlas’ influence… She wasn’t sure what to do about Whitley. She had never met him before. She honestly hadn’t even known about his existence until she’d left Schnee manor. Weiss had no good things to say about him. Literally none. He seemed to be a copy of Gelé from her words. But was that really true? She didn’t know. She didn’t know what kind of torture he’d been through over the years of his life. Coco had so many videos of her and Weiss being abused. They would make great bargaining chips with the public for sympathy when they were released. She could only imagine how up in arms Vale would be once they became public… Vale would be sympathetic to at least that much… But she shook her head mentally and looked up at Qrow. “I suppose I’m ready as I’ll ever be.” She still didn’t feel great but she wanted to get this over with. She didn’t want to spend unnecessary time waiting around to feel better. It might take her hours or even a day or more to truly feel more at peace. Plus, all of this was leaving her somewhat uneasy. She wanted to know what Summer had said to Qrow that might make him need to call a meeting with him and SUmmer. He said he wouldn’t abandon her so it had to be something pretty serious. “Hey Summer, are you here?” Winter extracted herself from Qrow as he spoke. She caught the distinct sensation of Summer’s Semblance from across the table. Yes, I am here, you idiot. I’ve been here the whole time. Also, I will try to keep things open between all three of us, okay? I don’t want anyone to think I’m choosing sides. I’m here to talk to both of you, not just one.That did make sense, she supposed. This was a three-way discussion. What exactly would it hold? She was absolutely terrified to find out. Qrow might pull back from her. As much as she didn’t trust him, he was more or less her anchor in this insane world she was still struggling to understand. A low rumbling came from outside and she shivered. She did not like thunder. At least that one was a low rumble and not the gunshot cracks from earlier. That was a bit easier to deal with than the loud ones that reminded her of doors slamming. “So what is all of this about?” Winter asked. She squeezed her hands in her lap. What could you be so serious Qrow might need to pull away from her? Hat could have changed between him and a dead woman? She really didn’t understand what could have changed so drastically. Could dead people even change? It didn’t seem likely to her. They were dead.Why would they have any reason to change or grow? “Summer, do you want to explain or should I?” Qrow sighed. I was the one that spoke up so I probably should.She couldn’t see Summer but she could feel the telltale churning of her aura. Seriously, what was all f this about? Would she have to completely foreit Qrow or something? Well, Winter, to cut to the chase, I…might have said last night I fell in love with Qrow after I died.Summer made herself faintly visible and she saw her scratch her chin. For some reason, that felt like a gut punch. She wasn’t too far off from having to give him up… He loved her, she loved him… Who was she to get in the way of that? Though how would that work? She was dead, he wasn’t and (theoretically) wouldn’t be for quite some time. Or would Qrow take his own life to be with the woman he had pined over for so long? Then again, if he was planning for that, would he still be planning to take the girls and find a non-Hunter job? “I-I see…” She really didn’t have the confidence to voice her thoughts. Not that she really needed to. She had two advanced aura users sitting near her. They could probably more than tell what she was thinking. “Yeah, I can tell what you’re thinkin’, snow. I do need to process what Summer said to me, but there’s one thing I know: you’re still my wife. Maybe not by choice, but I’m not going to abandon you I’m loyal to a fault, so things swing multiple ways. Yes, I’ always wanted her to love me, but I’m not going to leave you eiter.” Winter nodded at his words but she couldn’t help but not believe he wouldn’t want Summer over her. He’d been loyal to her since they’d been teenagers. It’d been decades. She had come into his life less than a month ago. How could she truly believe his loyalty lay with her instead? Winter, why don’t you say all of that instead of us responding to your thoughts? And a question for you to ponder: what do you want out of this relationship? She looked at Summer and pursed her lips. Give voice to thosethoughts? But they would sound accusatory and ignorant… She really didn’t want to voice her thoughts… But they were aware of them anyway. What was the difference in voicing them at this point? “You’ve been loyal to Summer for decades at this point. How does some silly little girl like me stand up to her?” Her voice was quiet and she didn’t look at him. She was a stupid, silly little girl in comparison to somebody like Summer. She had nothing to offer her than stubbornness and sheer determination. He was basically twice her age. She had nothing to offer him than her broken, shattered psyche. This was a marriage of convenience, not anything either of them could gain from. Unless he wanted to come for her body… She shivered at that and wrapped her arms around herself. She still didn’t entirely trust he wouldn’t come for her like that. “You might have limited life experience, but that doesn’t make you stupid or silly. Yeah, I’m loyal to Summer, but I’m also loyal to you.” He put a hand on his knee, palm up. He obviously wanted her to take it. “Summer’s dead. Yes, she can interact with us, but she is dead. I won’t let her impede on our relationship. In fact, I was thinking of telling her not to talk to me unless it’s reallynecessary for some reason. I don’t want to be disloyal to you.” That made her look up at him. He…would go that far to ensure his loyalty? Not talk to the woman he loved? Who would be willing to do that when they got a second chance? How could he be willing to go that far for her? “Well, as long as you don't count talking to the AI as breaking that rule… I really do need the AI to help me out in general…” He rubbed the back of his neck and she shook her head. “The AI is an extraordinarily useful tool. I wouldn’t bar for you from it. It’s not like you’re in love with the AI.” That she wasn’t concerned about. The AI and Summer were separate entities. It wasn’t like he was screwing his scroll… Or at least she hoped he wasn’t. He didn’t seem the type to have strange paraphilias and like he could tell the difference between the AI and Summer herself. If he needed the AI to operate, how could she say no? “Thanks, snowy. I appreciate it. That thing has saved me more than once. Be it remember an appointment or supplies I’d missed. I really do need the AI to help me with a lot of things. But yeah. How does that sound to you, moonflower?” He looked across the table. Summer nodded. I’ll stay quiet as much as I can. But you also know me, Qrow: I’ll do what I want. I do respect your desire to stay loyal to Winter. Can I still talk to her though?The ghost turned her head to Winter. “As…frustrating as you can be at times, I do appreciate your help. Do you have any objections, Mister Branwen?” She didn’t want to seem like she was causing a double standard. Summer’s help, though frustrating, could be incredibly useful. She would have the AI as well but Summer was just…herself. She could be so insightful at times that she really did appreciate what she had to offer. But she didn’t want to seem like she was barring Qrow from the same level of insight… “That’s between you two. It’s not like you’re the one in love with her.” Qrow shrugged. That…was not the answer she had been expecting. He really wasn’t placing any limitations her, it seemed like. Did he not want to control her? But all husbands wanted obedient wives… She really did expect he wanted her to be a good wife. Yet he hadn’t made any of the moves a typical Atlassian man would. It was so confusing. What was going on here? “All right.” What more could she say to that? She really didn’t get what his goals here were. Plus, she was younger which would make her more impressionable and easy to control. She did not understand them at all. She really just wanted to wrap her mind around whatever his motives were. “Well, I guess that wraps the discussion up.” Qrow looked at Summer who disappeared. She was clearly still in the room; Winter had become attuned to the subtle differences in energy for when she was present and when she wasn’t. Something did feel a bit…off to her, though. Like Summer’s presence was weaker. It was impossible to put into words but she did sense it. Could a ghost get tired? Yeah, I need to rest for a while. I’ve really overextended myself since all of this started between you and Qrow. Keeping back Yang’s nightmares really pushed me over the edge. I won’t be able to help you sleep for the foreseeable future.That…wasn’t good. She was having nightmares about Qrow and she had a feeling that they were only about to get worse. Weiss’ safety was now in the line. She wouldn’t be able to handle the thought of her little sister being married off to someone that wouldn’t love and cherish her the way she deserved. She’d be raped, forced to produce children, then possibly die early from complications related to childbirth. Tears welled in her eyes again. Stupid, silly little girl… Believing she could take on the SDC and free her sister. She’d lost everything when she’d married Qrow. how was she supposed to cope with failing the one thing she’d pledged her life to? She just wanted her little sister safe. She heard Qrow sigh and she looked up at him. “Winter, I really do hate to suggest this, but maybe you should see a psychiatrist. If you’re having this much trouble sleeping, then you might need some help from medications. My insurance is required to cover mental health stuff, so it’ll be covered with you on it. I know there are medications that block nightmares. I don’t have you transferred yet, so it would come out of my pocket, but I don’t mind paying if it’ll help you.” The suggestion turned her insides to ice. She shook her head. She couldn’t talk to some random person about her problems! What if they leaked the information to the media or tabloids?! Anybody could be bought for the right amount of money. Anybody.She couldn’t had her mental secrets over to some random person! “I can’t.” She just couldn’t. Talking to somebody could result in so much loss. She would be a pariah, a weakling. She’d already lost so much. She couldn’t los emore. She really couldn’t. All she had intact at this point was her dignity and if she saw somebody, she wouldn’t even have that much. How could he suggest something that would take away the one thing she had left remaining? “I can’t force you to do anything but please consider it, Winter. I know how debilitating nightmares are. There aren’t any over-the-counter medications for it. They’re going to drain you for everything you have in time. I don’t want to see you reach that point. If you do want to see someone eventually, I know someone you can trust. She went to Beacon with us, but she ended up pursuing more formal education rather than become a Huntress. I can promise you she won’t tell anybody your secrets.” He wouldn’t for her to someone? But he had that right by law… A hysterical woman could be committed to an institution if her husband deemed her mentally unfit enough… She more than qualified for that. Why wasn’t he committing her to get some sort of help? He shook his head. “Not in Vale. That sort of control doesn’t exist here. Interventions can be done if someone is in danger of hurting themselves or others, but you don’t meet that criteria. You aren’t a danger. Mental health is incredibly different here in Vale. It’s a part of the core school curriculum. We respect people with diverging brains here, not demonise them. If you want help, these’s no stigma. You need help, Winter. I want you to get it. But I can’t forceyou unless you’re on the verge of suicide or are threatening to harm someone. It’s all up to you what you do.” Winter was silent at that. But she was mentally ill… How could he not have the power to commit her to some sort of institution? Granted, she had heard horror stories. People being abused, sexually assaulted, having no clothes, no bedding… Some of her men had been committed and barely gotten out Apparently it was extremely hard to get out. If he really didn’t have that power, she was glad. She already felt like a prisoner in this house. Maybe she’d be freer once they got the house they wanted to move into… “I should let you talk to your realtor.” She slid off the chair and took Kiyay with her to the room upstairs. He chittered and looked at her, tilting his head to the side. He wants to know what’s wrong.Probably unsurprisingly, the ghost had followed her. She wanted to be alone with Kiyay right now. Why couldn’t Summer respect that? Plus, it didn’t help she still felt vulnerable. At least he wouldn’t leave her… It still felt odd he would give up a second chance with Summer to stay loyal to her. How could anybody be willing to go that far for a person who was still ostensibly a stranger? It didn’t make any real sense to her. She couldn’t say she was terribly upset by it, though… She was reliant on him here in Vale. Hopefully she could start to understand the public transit system soon… “Tell him he wouldn’t understand.” She didn’t think he was stupid, but he literally would not understand this time around. She barely understood the first thing about mental health. A falcon from the middle of nowhere wouldn’t understand the complexities of marriage, mental health, institutions, and more. He really wouldn’t. They didn’t have those sorts of things in his world view. Regardless, he chittered and hopped into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed, leaning against the wall. This really was a nightmare. She understood where Qrow was coming from. The nightmares were keeping her up through the night on and off. And if they were going to get worse, she really did need something to help with them. She couldn’t abuse Summer’s abilities too much since it took so much out of her. But to open up to somebody? It went against everything she’d been taught. Even priests couldn’t be trusted. They would report hysterical women to have them be committed. At this point, she more than qualified as hysterical. She couldn’t get that out of her mind. She really couldn’t. It felt like a professional would easily be able to send her to a facility for indefinite holding. Why don’t you check the Valian laws for this sort of stuff? I can have the AI pull up the relevant information.Winter glanced at Summer for that. Check the relevant laws… It might not be a horrible idea. She really didn’t feel secure at all… But laws were broken all the time. What would prevent somebody from breaking them? Winter booted up the laptop and tapped on the AI’s form. “What’s up?” “I need you to check on some things for me if you wouldn’t mind.”