wanderer's lullaby

Qrow made good on his promises and they headed out as soon as they got to Persia’s house via Raven’s portal. With the rain, the old woman’s usual trainees were cancelled. The mattress shopping proved to be rather overwhelming. The general had bought her one himself and she’d dealt with it. It had softened over time and become quite comfortable. But now trying to buy one for herself… The sales associate was helpful, but she still found herself extremely overwhelmed. There were so many options for size, softness, and more. For the most part, she was quite and let Qrow handle the logistics. He knew things much better than she did. But they did eventually get one picked out and it would be delivered the following day. She detested the idea of another night on that ancient trash, but there wasn’t a lot she could do about it. The toiletry shopping was at least much simpler. They dropped her off at the store and she got what she needed. She did wince at the price, but with the stipend the general offered her, it wouldn’t take a hit to her savings. She would need to find a Valian bank to do business at, now that she thought about it. She was getting changed for international purchases even if they used the same monetary system. They had to charge her for withdrawals. That was really obnoxious… She’d have to transfer the money from her Atlassian account eventually… Maybe she could find a nice international bank… Qrow might have a suggestion since he did do so much international business… But that was a discussion they could have another time. Part of her didn’t want to leave the Atlassian enclave. The styles and structures were familiar even if they were in a much older style. Plus, hearing Atlassian in the store spoken normally… It felt good. She never thought she’d missAtlas, but she did. It was at least predictable and she understood it unlike the insanity of Vale. But she knew they couldn’t move there either. It’d be unfair to… Well, everyone but her. Qrow hated Atlas, the girls didn’t speak the language, the birds needed room to fly, and she wasn’t sure where Raven stood on Atlas. But if she were anything like her brother, she hated it too. She looked down once she got back into the car, wrapping her arms around herself. She already missed being surrounded by Atlassian people. It felt like her heart was being torn asunder by leaving. “Hey, snowy, if ya miss that so much, maybe you could see about getting a job here once your work visa goes through.” Qrow’s voice was gentle as he turned his head to look at her in the back seat. Winter sighed and shook her head. “I’m a married woman. Nobody will let me hold down a job here.” Even if it was enshrined in Valian law, they would find a way to deny her a job. She knew Atlas and its mindsets. They could and would find ways to circumvent the law. Plus, she’d gotten her fill of working in Atlas. She’d rather find somewhere to look that actually valued her skills. Valian companies would actuallyvalue her unlike Atlassian ones. She knew that much. She really missed her native language mostly… It was like a part a part of her soul had been ripped out. She didn’t like Atlas and what it stood for, but it was still a part of her. It had still shaped her into who she was. All she wanted was to speak her language fluently again… “If that’s what you want, if it’s just you and me, we can speak it together.” Winter blinked at the offer. That…was sweet of him. She shook her head, though. “It’s best I stick with Valian.” It was best to simply stick with it all the time. It’d hopefully dull the pain of not speaking it period. That wound would fester if she kept ripping it open by occasionally speaking it then having to go right back to Valian. Why bother? She really didn’t see a point. She just… It would take her time to get used to all of this… She hadn’t even been there a week. Of courseshe was still adapting. Winter frowned on getting into the bathroom. She needed a shelf for all of her hair stuff. Three shampoos, four conditioners, masks, deep conditioners, oils, serums, and more. The counter was at least large enough to hold all of her skincare products, but the haircare was another story. She’d have to ask Yang about installing a shelf so she could have all other stuff. She could already feel her hair practically dying from not having its normal routine. She’d missed her deep conditioning day so it really felt bad. Then without the protective masks in this oppressive heat… Holy Father, her hair hated her so much right now. And it wouldn’t take long for those drugstore brands to cause hives and rashes if she used them any longer. At least she didn’t wash everyday… She grabbed what she needed for today at least and took as quick a shower as she could manage. With all the work her hair needed, though, it took upward of forty-five minutes. She could normally take less time than that, but she had surrendered to her hair. She did pause before leaving the bathroom, though. Qrow said he wanted to talk to her and Summer together. Did he want to right away? If so, it meant him seeing with her hair down. She barely let anybody see her like that—even Weiss. She normally used her hair drier but that was still buried in one of the suitcases she had yet to unpack. About the only person she let see her like this was the general… It meant showing less than perfection to somebody. How was she supposed to do that? Lack of perfection meant weakness and weakness meant something that could be taken advantage of. And it’d take at least an hour and a half to air dry completely. She didn’t want to leave Qrow and Summer waiting too long… Damn it; she didn’t have a choice. She sighed and headed downstairs to the kitchen, her damp hair draping over her back. “Whenever you and Summer are ready to discuss things, Mister Branwen…” She shifted her weight back, one hand gripping her dress. She really didn’t want to let anybody see her like this. It was humiliating at the veryleast… It easily left her open to manipulation and abuse… The hair was always a point for control in combat if it were long and held up… But Atlas dictated women had long hair and she didn’t feel comfortable with cutting it too short personally… The twins had been talking quietly and Qrow turned around. He opened his mouth to speak but she noticed his cheeks gain a faint hue of pink. “Oh, uh, Winter… I wasn’t expecting—” Raven laughed while Winter tilted her head. What was so funny? Why was she reacting like that? “Oh, don’t worry too much, Winter. Aside from chieftains, all members of the tribe have their hair long and pulled back. For women, it’s in a bun very similar to what you wear. Apparently, some old mindsets haven’t completely left him!” Raven laughed again and waved her over. “If you want, I can dry that for you then you can go put it up.” Winter pursed her lips at the offer. She would rather have it up and out of the way. But that meant exposing her back to a woman she didn’t trust in the slightest. It would be so easy for Raven to slip a knife between her ribs and into her organs… She really didn’t want to risk that… Could Qrow do it? Not that she trusted him that much more and the thought of having a man behind her like that… She shuddered. “Yeah, I can do it for ya, snowy. But you can sit facing me if you pull your hair over your shoulders.” Qrow’s tone was gentle even if the pink in his face remained. If anything, it darkened a few shades. What had him so up in arms over this? It was only hair. It didn’t actually meananything. But she didn’t want to have her hair sopping wet for too long, so she nodded. She pulled it over her shoulders and settled in front of Qrow. She saw Raven slip out of the room. Why did she have the feeling there was more to this than Raven was letting on? Something was going on here that she really didn’t understand. Still, at least it meant her hair wouldn’t be damp for too long. “Is it okay if I touch your head to get to your roots?” Winter hesitated at the question. No man had laid a hand on her head in a good way aside from the general. She tensed but nodded slowly. It’d be annoying to have the ends of her hair dry but the top still wet. Qrow showed her palms and then gently put one hand over her head. She felt a slight warmth from it, then looked up at him. “What exactly are you doing?” Hopefully he wouldn’t mind answering… “An old Branwen aura trick that goes back centuries if not millennia. If you could get to Grade Two or Three, I could teach it to you. The lower Grades aren’t too hard and can be mastered in a few months as long as you practice everyday.” More advanced aura, huh? It was a mess she still really didn’t understand. How was she supposed to take it? It would be nice to not have to blow fry her hair each day. She knew heat wasn’t great for it, but she had no alternatives when she had to shower each night before bed. She did have a diffuser so the heat wasn’t sodirect, but it still wasn’t great for her hair. “This would be useful… But how would I even start to become an advanced aura user? How does one become higher in the Grades?” Qrow had explained things to her a little bit, but not in full depth. She wasn’t keep to become one, but if she could pick up the hair trick, it would be nice. She wasn’t sure how well she’d do with it though… “Well, you have to meditate and learn to quiet your mind. That’s the first step and it can get you the first three or four rades, maybe even five or six. But keep in mind advanced aura isn’t just a set of useful techniques; it’s a mindset and a lifestyle. I don’t doubt you could get the first two or three Grades. Almost anybody can do that as long as they keep up on mediation. But beyond that… You would struggle.” He started to gently move her hair through his hands. She could feel the subtle weight change as the water evaporated from her hair. Nowhere near the time it took to blow dry. “Why do you say that?” She wascurious. She struggled with most things, to be frank. She wasn’t a genius like her sister who could easily pick up things like it wasn’t a big deal. Weiss would be a force for good in the world if she could get the proper support and care shown to her… “Two things really: your trauma and the fact you’re not a child. It’s always easier to learn things when you’re a child, that’s just a fact. Children have less experience in life so it means they have fewer thoughts to hold them back. They can accept things a lot easier. Will you disagree when I say it’s hard for you to accept new things?” His tone was gentle and he spoke a bit slower than normal. He was obviously choosing his words very carefully. She waseasy to offend, but he was right as loathe as she was to admit it. “Unfortunately, you’re right.” She couldn’t even deny it. Anything that clashed with her worldview was difficult for her to accept. Especially if it wasn’t empirically proven. Science was the only thing she felt she could put her full faith in. All of this esoteric nonsense was awful for her. But she could understand why there wasn’t any empirical evidence on it. Atlas would definitely try to weaponise advanced aura if it was known to exist. “The other reason is trauma. Basically your whole life has been nothing buttrauma. It’s the enemy of all advanced aura users. It can make us lose sight of ourselves and take our abilities away.” He sighed. “I lost my abilities for a good couple years following Summer’s death. I managed to regain them, though. I lost sight of everything but getting back into practice helped me a bit. “I saw traumatised adults try to become advanced aura users in the tribe, but it often didn’t pan out beyond the first couple Grades. When you’re used to your emotions being used against you, trying to tap into them didn’t work so well. You’re somebody like that, Winter. You see emotions as weakness. Would you reallybe able to let go of suppressing them so you can fully experience life?” The question was gentle but it struck deep. No, she wouldn’t be able to let go. She didn’t trust any of the people around her. There was no telling who might try to leverage her emotions against her. Anybody out in the city might be able to do that. She could not let anybodysee her emotions. “And there you go. The core of advanced aura at higher Grades is emotion, understanding them, controlling them, and allowing yourself to feel. If you can’t do even the last thing, you will neverbe able to progress to the highest Grades. Up to Six, in theory, but no higher. I don’t doubt you could get those lowest Grades, though. But with your trauma, you won’t be able to go too far.” His tone wasn’t scathing or accusatory, but it sure felt like it. She couldn’t let go of her emotions. It almost always resulted in nothing but manipulation and hurt. Gelé and everyone in Atlas that wasn’t Weiss, General Ironwood, or the Ace Ops would try to manipulate them against her. She really couldn’t understand how living with emotions worked… Atleas really was the worst of the worst. She hated that women were so oppressed and she had to live so alone… Living with the general had shown her there were other ways of living. But Atlas would never allow her to do that… It was much to risky. How could anybody allow themselves to live so openly and freely? She didn’t understand… She hated so much of what Atlas stood for but it was all she knew. She wanted the predictability of her life back, not this absolute insanity of emotion, ghosts, and advanced aura use. Why had Qrow entering her life meant the end of all things sane and logical? She wanted her predictable life and job back… She wanted the general back… She felt a burning at the back of her throat. No, she wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t, not with Qrow in the room. He’d already seen her in enough vulnerable positions. He really was the harbinger of all things emotional for her. Being back in the enclave had only served to reopen her wounds… She missed Atlas so much even though it was only a place of suffering for most people… Including her. She really did hate it, but it was the only thing she’d ever known. Adapting to Vale was a nightmare. She wanted to go back to Atlas… “If you wanna cry, snowy, then go ahead. I won’t stop you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head. She refused to cry. She absolutely refused. She would be fine. She would be. She just needed a little bit of time to get herself together. “I’ll be fine.” She could already feel the tears starting to form in her eyes. She hated this so much. She was such a wreck. She wanted to curl up and die. She felt like she’d never get her sister back at this rate either… That was all she needed to break the dam. Weiss. The one chink in her armor of perfection. The tears rolled down her cheeks and she started sobbing. Her whole body shook. She felt like she would never free her little sister at this rate. She was powerless to free Weiss now… Absolutely powerless… She’d lost all of her power the second she’d agreed to marry Qrow… She would never see her little sister free as long as she wasn’t part of the military… Would she even be able to take over the SDC as long as she remained in Vale? Sometimes, it felt impossible. She would never see her dreams come to fruition and Weiss would be raped despite her best attempts to free her… Qrow wrapped his arms around and pulled her close. “Winter, I’m sorry to impede on your grief, but you want your little sister, right? Well, I know some people to might be able to help.” Winter blinked and looked up to him. This sounded too good to be true. There wasn’t anybody that could help her. Nobody in their right mind would be able to help her stand up to Mister Gelé. Or would be willing to. Nobody would risk their own skins to try and stand up to the most powerful tycoon in the world. He had to be lying. There was no way anybody could help her out of that… Nobody would be able to free Weiss… He gently kissed her head and smiled. “No, I know two people crazy enough to try: Kali and Sienna. Sienna said if I ever needed legal counsel to call her.” “…There’s a difference between legal counsel talking on perhaps the most powerful man in the world.” How could he not see the difference? Legal counsel was something like disputing traffic tickets or even immigration stuff. It was suicide to think to take on Mister Gelé. “I’m pretty sure they’d be crazy enough to try. Want to call them and see?” Winter bit her lip at that. She wanted her little sister free but could she really trust anybody else to handle this case? She really didn’t want to get her hopes up. It was way too easy for someone to say one ting then do another. It was way too easy for someone to promise something then not follow through. There was a reason she really couldn’t trust people. So few followed through with their promises. She really couldn’t trust somebody else to free her sister for her. She couldn’t even trust the general to help her on that accord. Though if Weiss did go to Beacon, she would have to trust him to extract her from Schnee manor. “I get why you have so many trust issues, snowy, but you’re going to have to learn to let go eventually. You’re in Vale now. You can’t control everything like you did in Atlas. You have to let go.” Winter shook her head. She couldn’t let go… She just couldn’t. People were too unpredictable and unreliable to trust. She couldn’t trust anybody to do anything for her. There was a reason she didn’t have many subordinates she trusted. She could really only trust herself to handle things… Plus, how would Kali and Sienna even build a case? She was a married woman… That wouldn’t be looked to kindly upon in Atlas. These were people with White Fang affiliation too… How could they hope to win when the court of public opinion would be against them in Atlas? She wanted to see her sister free but this felt incredibly reckless if she did pursue it. Though waiting five years was also a gamble and she knew it. Gelé could betroth Weiss as young as fifteen or sixteen or even younger… She really wasn’t unheard of for any class in Atlas to be married so young. What should she do? Both methods were danger and reckless in their own ways… But she had more control if she stuck to her original plan. She had none if she allowed Kali and Sienna to take over. But she might free her baby sister sooner if she gave up that control… But what if they failed? Then Mister Gelé could use their relationship against Weiss and possibly put more pressure on her. That might be the case if they filed the motion in the first place… So many things could go wrong if this wasn’t handled right. Was it worth the risk? “Can I think about it?” Her voice was weak and fragile, betraying her insecurity. She really wanted her sister free, but she needed to weigh the pros and cons first. She really couldn’t get it wrong. If she did, Weiss would suffer for her bad decision making. How could she hope to possibly know all the variables if Kali and Sienna took over? She had a pretty good idea of what would happen when she took over the SDC. But this new route… There were too many unknowns. She wanted to stick to her original plan, but with her out of the picture now, who knew what was happening to Weiss in Schnee manor? She might be betrothed even younger… The though made her sick. Weiss hadn’t had her debutante ball yet, but it was coming. She knew it. He might try to betroth her right out the gate. It was uncommon but not unheard of for the youngest debutantes to be betrothed. She really couldn’t stomach the thought of thirteen-year-old Weiss being betrothed to some man two or three times her age. It was absolutely disgusting. “Of course you can think about it, Winter. There’s no need to jump into something as important as taking on Gelé. I know things are incredibly sensitive when it comes to family. I’ve never been caught up in court proceedings before, but that’s gong to change within a few months…” Qrow sighed and Winter nodded. Yeah, that was going to become an issue soon enough… Going up against Taiyang in court was going to cause some issues, that was for sure. The laid her head against QRow’s chest and closed her eyes with a sniffle. “Rest for a bit and regather yourself. There’s no need to rush into discussing things with Summer. Okay?” She nodded and let herself rest against him. No point in rushing into things after such an emotional upset… She did want to get this out of the way, but she learned even she had her limits. And she didn’t want to overdo it when it when this seem like such a big deal…