Chapter 11. At the crossroads
December 12, 2025 at 5:17 PM
The bar was filled with the usual haze of cigarette smoke. The smell of tobacco enveloped lungs, fogged thoughts, and his head felt familiarly light. But Levi’s heart was hammering, racing his pulse. With every step towards the bar counter, his agitation grew.
Erd spotted him from afar, turning away from the counter. A bad sign. Levi really didn’t like that.
“Before you say anything, your songbird is fine,” Erd said, turning around and placing a polished mug of dark beer on the counter. Foam splashed onto the polished wood, but Levi only glanced briefly at the mess. “You won’t like the rest.”
Levi stared ahead grimly. His premonitions of something bad never lied, and right now, his gut was screaming about an enormous shitstorm rolling in. He let out a heavy exhale.
“Tell me.”
“She’s with the police.”
Something inside him snapped. Levi knew he should have been more careful, more cautious, but he had given in to his feelings, grown reckless, and because of him, Mikasa had suffered. A wave of guilt lashed at his heart. He never got attached to others, was responsible only for himself, and for good reason.
After Farlan and Isabel died, he swore he’d never get close to anyone again. He couldn’t keep tearing his soul apart every time someone he cared about was killed. He’d had enough. And now he was caught in that trap again. Because of a woman. Damn it.
His thoughts ran wild, like beasts caged, trying to tear off a bigger piece of Levi so it aches even more. He tried to figure out what to do, how to get Mikasa out of jail. His only hope was that she was on the surface, where the law wasn’t as harsh, and Mikasa was famous enough that tarnishing her name would backfire on the entire police force.
“Hey, hey, don’t zone out on me. I know what you’re thinking right now.”
“You don’t know shit.”
“She wasn’t arrested,” Erd’s hand came down roughly on his shoulder, giving him a shake. “A rumour started that she fell ill on the street, and some MP soldiers happened to be nearby, helped her recover. But I wouldn’t buy those fairy tales, Levi. It’s time to lay low. And I’m serious this time.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Levi said calmly, shrugging his shoulder. Erd’s hand slid off. He had no right to tell him what to do.
“I’m trying to talk you out of rushing into this.”
Levi’s eyebrow twitched upwards. He understood perfectly well he couldn’t act impulsively. But the guilt was already starting to fray his nerves. Mikasa wasn’t arrested. He needed to cling to that thought, otherwise Levi wouldn’t even be in this bar. He’d be racing to get Mikasa out, no matter the cost. But he wasn’t going to vent his anger right now. Better to save his energy to figure out what to do next. And first, he wanted to make sure Mikasa was truly alright.
“Where is she now?”
“How should I know?” Erd shrugged. Levi sensed trouble. Erd knew things no one was supposed to know. His talent was overhearing even the most insignificant nonsense, which in the right hands became a serious weapon. He couldn’t not know where Mikasa was.
“Where will she be?”
“And I’m not telling you that. I won’t repeat myself, you need to stay out of sight.”
“I know… I damn well know!” Levi jerked up, slamming his fist on the counter. “I won’t let something happen to her because of me too.”
Now he was truly angry. Without Erd’s help, he was as good as tied up. Information was worth its weight in gold, and sniffing something out on his own would be tough.
“It’ll be better to leave her alone for now, if she means that much to you,” Erd said placatingly.
His face showed sympathy, and Levi cooled down a bit. He sank back onto the stool, pulling the beer mug towards him.
Erd was right. If the MPs' attention was focused on Mikasa, then things were indeed bad. Primarily for her. Levi would find a way to cover his own ass. But causing trouble for her… He slowly closed his eyes, exhaled sharply, and fumbled in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. The velvety click of the lighter somewhat ordered his thoughts, the acrid smoke hitting his head.
“Her next soirée is among big shots, higher up than just walls. So consider yourself warned not to stick your nose in there.”
“I got it,” Levi said.
“Promise me you won’t go.”
“Did you forget how you used to eat the dirt off my boots.”
Erd smirked, turning away. There was always work in the bar, and he pulled out a rag and started wiping something behind the counter.
Erd was a good friend. In this world, in a shit-hole like the Underground City, finding people like Erd was akin to a miracle. Levi should listen to him. And Erd knew that too. But not even Erd would get to boss him around. Not even for his own good.
The silence that had settled in the bar dissipated when Erd exhaled noisily, and the glass he tossed onto a shelf clinked loudly against another.
“I can literally hear what you’re thinking,” he said, turning back to Levi.
“Yeah? And what’s that?”
“From there,” Erd pointed a finger at the ground, “not even your 'Uncle the Ripper' could pull you out. So drop it.”
Levi exhaled sharply. Grey smoke seeped through his nostrils. The cigarette was burning down in his hand, nearing his calloused fingers. Levi forcefully crushed the butt into the glass of an ashtray Erd slid over in time. And still, Erd was right. He needed to get his thoughts in order. Acting on impulse wasn’t his style.
“Come by tonight. Clear your head. Right now, the risk isn’t worth it. You’ll only make it worse if you go up there. So don’t. And I’ll keep you posted.”
Levi was silent for a moment, staring somewhere past the bar. He needed to think it all through properly. Cool down.
“Alright,” he said, getting up from the stool.
⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
Hundreds of stage lights blinded her eyes. The sharp smells of burning candles, upholstery, and the lacquered wood of the grand piano merged into a familiar cacophony of scents. This was where Mikasa felt she belonged—in the center of attention, yet at a safe distance from the crowd. In the concert hall, where beyond the bright lamps, one could only guess at the silhouettes of the listeners in their seats. Faces, ranks, expensive jackets, and lavish dresses worth more than Mikasa’s annual income remained unseen. She sang, and the sound of her voice spread under the dome of the hall, amplified many times over by the ringing in her ears. This ringing dulled her thoughts, but they kept returning to Levi. She had to stop thinking about him. There was no good in tormenting herself. They weren’t meant to be together. She sang in the capital for rich gentlemen, entertained people on stage. Earned her money honestly. And besides, she was in love with someone else. At least, it seemed to her that Eren still occupied a huge place in her heart. Levi was a source of problems. He was dangerous, unpredictable. But wasn’t that what drew her to him so powerfully? His unabashed interest stirred her. Many looked at her as a piece of meat, seeing nothing substantial behind her body. For them, Mikasa was just a beautiful decoration. But Levi was different. He didn’t hide his interest, didn’t lie about his feelings, didn’t deceive her. He was just there, and her heart trembled because of it. The way he looked at her, spoke to her, touched her—it all sent shivers down her spine. She couldn’t give that up. She craved his attention. She missed him. Her aria of unrequited love seemed even sadder today, her voice breaking beautifully as it narrated the corrosive, poisonous feelings. Mikasa wasn’t just pushing air through her vocal cords; she was pouring her entire soul into the hall. She made herself believe that Levi wouldn’t come again. He’d long understood that she came with baggage, that she couldn’t give him what he so wanted. At least not so quickly, not now. There had been no word from him since that kiss. She didn’t know if he’d been at her last concert, if the MPs had gotten to him, if he’d heard the news that now, not just them, but the Scouts were after him too. But none of that should concern her. Levi was a criminal. No matter how gallant he was with her, no matter how safe she felt next to him. It didn’t matter that he helped her, just as it didn’t matter that her heart started beating faster at just the thought of his gaze. He was still the one whose portrait hung on flyers in the city’s unsavoury districts. And if he was smart enough, he’d stop seeing her to avoid putting himself at risk. Mikasa would be lying if she said that didn’t break her heart. The notes intertwined in her consciousness with heavy thoughts. She hadn’t even had time to open up to him, had missed her only chance and pushed him away. Mikasa wanted to hope he’d understood her true feelings, guessed that she’d surrendered to him the moment his lips crushed hers. That only fear and confusion had made her pull away. Perhaps a man like Levi wouldn’t bother guessing. There were plenty of other girls in his Underground City. Available, attractive, alluring. Mikasa was almost certain he was already amusing himself with another, having erased her from his mind. Levi didn’t seem like the kind of man who’d run after a woman and vie for her attention. The stage was strewn with fragrant fresh flower petals. At the very edge stood elegant candelabras with carved candles. Small flames flickered and trembled, wax dripping down the shiny, heated sides. The candles themselves were odourless, expensive, made of beeswax. Mikasa couldn’t afford such things. She poured ordinary oil into her lamps, the smell of which made her dizzy. But the people in the hall could afford much more than she could, and the staff went out of their way to please the discerning audience. Beautiful music alone was no longer enough. Mikasa stepped forward, detached herself from the lacquered piano, and her hand easily slid along its polished side. One step, then another. The song’s lyrics filled her with longing; she wanted to get closer to the edge, feel the warmth of the candles on her face, and she stepped even closer until the faces blurred into blackness began to acquire discernible outlines. Mikasa froze, almost faltering on a complex passage. Her throat went dry. No, she couldn’t be mistaken. Broad shoulders, impeccably styled wheat-coloured hair, icy eyes gleaming in the darkness. Erwin Smith. He wasn’t looking at her, conversing with his neighbour about something, but her heart sank and began to beat faster. Mikasa turned away, stepping further from the edge to calm her nerves a little. She only had a few songs left, and then she could be alone. In this vast hall, it would be just her, the piano, and her voice. And she would calm down, reconsider her situation once and for all, and forget the idea of letting Levi get close to her. Of course, she understood she and commander would meet again sooner or later. But so soon? Erwin Smith was the commander of the Scout Regiment. Of course, he attended social events, and it was foolish to think he’d come here just to watch her. For such purposes, they could send anyone much less busy and certainly less conspicuous. Still, Mikasa couldn’t shake the thought that he’d come to intimidate her, and her hands trembled with nervous tension, even as the commander’s broad figure was swallowed by the darkness. What if they really were watching her? Great Walls, she’d gone straight home after leaving the police station! And to think, she’d even told Smith she was Eren’s friend. Of course, the MPs knew where she lived! And Levi knew too. That last thought made her uneasy. What a fool she was! How carelessly she’d gotten herself caught! She’d blabbed everything about herself to people she couldn’t trust. Telling the law about her home was one thing. Telling Levi Ackerman, a criminal, murderer, and thief, was another. Stupid. She was home alone for days on end, and how many opportunities had Ackerman had to ambush her when she least expected it? And what on earth had she gotten herself into? Her fingers crumpled the beaded fabric of her scarlet dress. The pianist threw her a fleeting glance—he’d heard the slight falter, the momentary delay—and Mikasa smiled slightly at him, pulling herself together. She continued to sing.⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
Levi sprawled on his bed, trying his hardest to relax. What if Mikasa really had fallen ill right on the street? She wasn’t the fainting type, he’d figured that out, so passing out from an excess of emotion definitely wasn’t her style. But Levi remembered well how he’d first walked her home, how she could barely move, stopping every now and then from another bout of pain. How had he gotten himself into this mess? Worrying so much over a woman. But it was too late to struggle. He’d stepped into this quagmire of feelings, and it was sucking him in deeper. Every day away from her was torture, and he hadn’t even seen her since that kiss. There was nothing between them. Nothing. And he was suffering from separation like some lovestruck brat. Unbearable. He wanted to see her again, touch her, feel the sweet scent of her perfume and the taste of her soft lips. The kettle whistled piercingly, and Levi instinctively jerked up, got off the bed, and took the kettle off the fire. Mechanically, he rinsed the tea leaves, poured boiling water over them, and let it steep. Had he ever felt anything comparable to what was happening to him now? This new feeling was painfully sweet, agonising, and viscous. And listening to reason was becoming increasingly difficult. Erd. Was. Right. He needed to wait it out, cool off. Mikasa was fine, as far as he knew, and it was better for him to think that the MPs had nothing to do with him here. The anxiety still wouldn’t subside. He got up again, paced the room, peering out the small window. Beyond the thin curtain, his hometown lay spread out in the dead air, perpetually covered in falling earth and debris from above, overgrown with mold and vice. A hateful place. But he was too deeply mired in mafia affairs to dream of getting to the surface. But Mikasa had made him think about it. If he had the money, he could buy himself a better reputation. Could lay low, disappear. And then, who knows, maybe he could win Mikasa over. So she wouldn’t have to be afraid because of him. Levi poured some of the already bitter tea into a cup, took a sip, put the cup down, and paced the room again. It was easier to believe Mikasa hadn’t been interrogated. And what could she have told them anyway? Only that they’d met. He hadn’t told her anything, so she shouldn’t be in danger or under suspicion of collusion. And why would the MPs want him? That was all settled long ago. The right people had been paid off. The unease in his chest still wouldn’t quiet down. What had Erd said? A concert for high-ranking officials? Levi had never been stupid or particularly eager to invite extra trouble, but Mikasa was turning him into a complete fool. Grabbing his good-quality jacket from the hook, Levi went out onto the street. The black tea grew cold by the frozen curtain.⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
The hall applauded. Mikasa bowed reservedly, smiling into the darkness, stepped away from the piano, and gestured for the pianist to stand. She smiled brightly under the noise of loud applause. Flowers flew onto the stage, sailing over the candle flames. The fire trembled, flickered, the wicks smouldered. The heavy curtains slowly closed, people rose in the darkness, began to disperse, talking noisily. Some continued to applaud, and Mikasa, forcing a smile, waited for the heavy drapes to meet in the middle. Someone stepped towards the stage. A figure vaulted over the extinguished candles, held back the curtain with a hand, letting another person pass ahead. Mikasa’s smile nearly slipped. A grey-haired man in an expensive suit stepped onto the stage, followed closely, finally releasing the curtain, by Erwin Smith himself. Her heart pounded with tension. Erwin’s gaze was almost playful, but it said: “I’m still keeping an eye on you. Don’t forget.” A threat. That’s what she read in his tall figure. Behind her back, the chandelier rustled—a worker had come to replace the burnt-out candles—but Mikasa didn’t turn around, all her attention focused on the men in front of her. “I’m sorry, you’re not allowed on stage,” Mikasa said softly, hoping it would buy her some time to calm down. But Erwin smiled wider. “And a good evening to you too, Mikasa. I was hoping you’d make an exception for important guests.” Erwin came closer, and Mikasa extended her hand in greeting. Erwin took it in his large palm and bowed, hovering a few millimetres from her skin. Mikasa felt his warm breath, but his lips never touched her hand. “I don’t make the rules.” “That’s why I’m not asking your permission,” Erwin replied, straightening up and taking a step back. Mikasa fell silent, trying to keep a welcoming smile on her face, but her body wouldn’t listen, and her hands clasped together near her stomach. “You seem very tense, Mikasa. Is everything alright?” “Perfectly, thank you. I’ve just been standing on stage the whole concert.” “Then I won’t keep you too long. I wanted to introduce you to my dear friend. He’s a great admirer of yours and was very upset that you were ill and couldn’t perform at the celebration.” Erwin gestured to the tall, grey-haired man who slowly approached. “Allow me to introduce myself. Zackly Darius. Commander-in-Chief,” he introduced himself with a broad smile, and Mikasa felt the blood drain from her face. What had she done to deserve all this? Why was the Commander-in-Chief himself interested in her? “It’s a great honour,” Mikasa inclined her head, giving a curt bow, and extended her hand. Zackly wasn’t in a hurry to kiss it. He took her palm in both of his, dry and rough, and gave it a slight shake. “The honour is no less mine, my dear. You sing magnificently. And as I understand, our greatest weapon against the Titans is your dear friend.” Mikasa smiled wider. A pleasant pang shot through her chest at the mention of Eren. Maybe things weren’t so bad, and Erwin really just wanted to introduce her to the Commander-in-Chief? “How is Eren?” “That I don’t know, I’m afraid. Better ask Erwin. After all, your friend is under his direct command.” “He’s in perfect condition, sir,” Erwin turned to the Commander-in-Chief, but then fixed his cold gaze on Mikasa again. “There’s nothing for you to worry about. I understand his work causes you many troubles. But I hope that with your help, things will become a little easier for him.” “My help?” Mikasa shuddered. She wasn’t imagining it. Erwin’s warm words couldn’t deceive her. He was here for only one reason: she was in his hands. And he’d play cat and mouse with her until he got what he wanted. The hall seemed to grow colder, and Mikasa felt herself beginning to tremble. “Let’s not talk business today, Erwin. We don’t have much time,” the Commander-in-Chief said cheerfully. “I didn’t come just to exchange pleasantries, although I must admit, you are undoubtedly beautiful and have earned my respect. A military man’s woman, yet so independent. A rarity in our time. You can be proud of yourself.” “We’re not…” Mikasa began but cut herself off mid-sentence. It wasn’t so important now. She wasn’t even sure what was happening between them anymore, now that her mind was occupied with another man. “It’s nice to hear, Mr. Zackly.” “Please, don’t mention it. You truly are delightful. And I have a business proposal for you.” The Commander-in-Chief looked like nothing more than a good-natured middle-aged man who had risen to great heights but was so tired of military bustle that he only longed to return home, have a hearty dinner, and sprawl on the sofa like an old house cat. But Mikasa wasn’t at all deceived by his amiable demeanour. This man’s gaze was just as dry and hard, even when showering her with compliments. “I’d be happy to hear it,” Mikasa said, her throat itching. She wanted a drink of water, but there was no one to call. The guy fiddling with the chandelier had already vanished somewhere, and on the stage, it was just her and these two men again. “Perhaps we could invite you to a reception to boost the soldiers' morale? They have a difficult mission ahead soon, and they could use some beautiful music. And the sight of such a splendid woman will certainly cheer them up before battle.” Zackly smiled, and Mikasa smiled back, trying not to let it seem too strained. Would the numerous female scouts enjoy the sight of her? Mikasa wasn’t so sure about that. And besides, what was the point of inviting her to the barracks? What were these two plotting? But her refusal would definitely arouse even more suspicion. It was better to have as little to do with these men as possible. Let them think she was foolish and didn’t understand what they wanted. “Please speak with the director. I’m sure he can help you much better than I can. I’m sorry, but I haven’t managed my own schedule in a long time.” “For me, your answer is the most important. Such a woman has no place in the barracks. And I cannot insist that you go. But if you have an escort…” Mikasa smiled wider. So that was it. They wanted her to come with a man. Did they really think she was that stupid? Were they really counting on luring Levi onto their territory this way? “I don’t think I have anything to fear when Eren is nearby,” Mikasa said with a wide smile. In part, she wasn’t even lying. And it didn’t matter that things had been strained between them lately. For a couple of days, she could swallow her pride and avoid arguing with him. “Now that’s what I call feminine devotion. Eren is lucky to have such an understanding and convenient woman by his side. Well then, it’s settled. We’ll be delighted to see you. Our boys will be absolutely thrilled.” “Oh, that’s unquestionable,” Erwin added. His gaze wandered over her strangely, and Mikasa felt thoroughly uncomfortable. She wanted to cover up, hide, but it seemed his icy eyes were peering into her very essence, that there was nowhere to hide from him. Mikasa bowed in a parting gesture, and the two men turned in unison, heading for the curtain. A lock clicked loudly in the hall, and they froze, turning back to Mikasa. “The hall doors are locked when the audience leaves. Let me escort you to the lobby,” she replied to Erwin Smith’s questioning look. Mikasa had already stepped towards them, but Erwin stopped her with a gesture. “Don’t trouble yourself. Just show us the stage exit. Don’t worry about us.” Mikasa gestured towards the last curtain, and they exited the stage unhurriedly. Mikasa exhaled. It felt like a mountain had been lifted from her shoulders. Her heart gradually calmed its furious dance. Erwin had her on a hook; he’d made it clear that her mistake could cost her dearly. But what could she do? Mikasa shook her head. What was the point of thinking about it? She couldn’t change anything anyway. And actually, her plan had been to rehearse in the hall while she had the chance. Erwin Smith and his surveillance wouldn’t ruin her evening. The heavy curtains parted again, revealing the darkened, empty hall. Mikasa sat down at the polished piano, gently stroked the white teeth of the keys with her fingers. A chord shattered the hall’s silence and was swallowed by the emptiness. Mikasa played slowly, tasting the music, but her fingers kept slipping to other keys, and her head stubbornly refused to recall the correct lyrics. No. Rehearsing in this state was impossible. A little more, and she’d get a headache. Mikasa slammed the piano lid shut in annoyance and quickly left the stage.⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
Levi strode quickly over the cobblestones, telling himself he needed to see Mikasa. Make sure she was alright, explain himself, finally. Assure her he wouldn’t let her be harmed, that he’d do everything to get the MPs off her back. If necessary—he’d hide her. Pay. Find the money somehow. Get it. Just so she wouldn’t turn away from him. That’s all. He didn’t need to talk to her. He’d wait for the concert to end, take a look at her, exchange a few words, and that’s it. If she even wanted to listen to him. At least, that was the plan. The concert hall loomed in the distance, and as Levi approached, the building’s doors swung open, releasing a stream of people onto the street. The city immediately became livelier. People talked loudly, first walking in a dense crowd, then breaking into small groups, getting into carriages pulled by well-fed horses, dispersing and dissolving into the alleys. Levi wasn’t in a hurry to join the crowd—he wouldn’t find Mikasa among them—and leaned against a wall, waiting for her slender figure to appear from the wide concert hall doors. But time passed, and there was no sign of Mikasa. Anxiety stirred within him. Had Erd lied? Could he have been trying to calm Levi down while Mikasa was actually in real danger? Levi forced himself with sheer willpower, not wanting to earn himself new troubles. It was better to wait and not jump to conclusions. He’d already been stupid enough coming here. His instinct didn’t fail him. The concert hall doors opened again, but not to release Mikasa—a tall, broad-shouldered blond with clear, glass-like eyes stepped out. Alongside him walked another, much older man, but he interested Levi far less. He vaguely remembered the blond. Where had he seen him before? Understanding struck him like lightning. The whistle of grappling hooks, the smell of mold from the Underground City hit his nose. It was that Scout Commander! And what was he doing here? Of course, Erd had said the concert tonight was for important people. And Erwin Smith clearly was one of them. Levi retreated, hiding in an alley, merging with the darkness of the passage. They hadn’t noticed him, but they could have. And Erwin Smith would definitely recognise him. After all, it was he who had hunted him so zealously a few years ago. In all fairness, there was nothing to fear. What could a couple of men in starched suits do to him? And Smith probably didn’t need him anymore. Still, a little caution wouldn’t hurt. Maybe he should just forget it all? The game with Mikasa had dragged on, and there was still no reward in sight. Only the smell of trouble. No, it stank of trouble, and the stench clung to Levi so much he’d stopped paying attention to it. But he should. No, he wouldn’t risk it like this. Erd was right; venturing into the den of the rich and powerful was a terrible idea, and he shouldn’t tempt fate any further by wandering around the city center. Levi racked his brains about what to do. He was torn between the desire to see Mikasa and common sense. Did he have other options? Yes. He knew where Mikasa lived.⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
Levi wandered the city like a restless shadow, unable to decide whether to go home or go to Mikasa. What would she think if he showed up at her place? Of course, she’d shown him where she lived herself, but something told Levi he shouldn’t use that information too often. Would he scare her? “To hell with it,” Levi thought. He was fighting with himself. Selfish desire battled with some semblance of tact, and the latter was stubbornly losing the battle. Maybe he didn’t need to show himself to her? He’d watch her a little, make sure she was okay, and crawl back to his hole. Levi exhaled, realising what nonsense he was thinking. There’d be no excuse if Mikasa spotted him. He turned towards home, then realised—he wouldn’t calm down. What was the point of telling himself this was just a casual fling if he couldn’t sit still knowing Mikasa might be in danger? He’d already come much further than he should have. Taking the last step was the easiest. At the crossroads, around the corner, his resolve strengthened. The streets were almost empty. Evening slowly enveloped the city. The few people he encountered hurried home. Mikasa’s house appeared in the distance. Levi quickened his pace. In the twilight, lights from lamps lit in windows were visible, but Levi wasn’t sure which window belonged to Mikasa. He pulled a cigarette from his pack and lit it nervously. The smoke somewhat dispersed his anxiety. His heart beat unusually fast, and Levi thought it might be time to cut down on cigarettes. Levi watched the windows intently, leaning against a wall. Behind the thin tulle, behind the curtains—nothing was visible. Just shadows moving back and forth. Nothing to do—he’d have to get closer. He peeled himself off the wall, crushed the cigarette butt against the grey stone, and stepped towards the lit windows. He tilted his head back to look a little higher—and his eyes immediately met enormous irises the color of storm clouds. Levi froze. Mikasa stood on the second floor, having pulled back the curtain, staring directly at him, either surprised or angry. For a moment, everything around ceased to exist: her gaze hypnotised him, Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away, only stared back in confusion. Mikasa irritably yanked the curtain shut. His heart plummeted. The stupor lifted. And what was he supposed to do now? Thoughts raced wildly in his head. Go up and knock on the door? Slink away shamefully and pretend none of this happened? And how could he have screwed up so badly? Had he completely forgotten how to spy from the shadows? The door to the house unexpectedly swung open, and Mikasa, in home clothes, ruffled like a startled bird, hissed: “What are you doing here? Leave right now!” Levi barely heard what she was saying. All his attention was focused on Mikasa herself. He devoured her with his eyes, convincing himself she really was alright. Her spirit and irritation confirmed it. Levi perked up. He’d come here precisely for this—to see her one more time. And Mikasa was now so close—one or two steps, and Levi could touch her. A spark of excitement ignited in his chest. No, he wouldn’t retreat so easily now. His politeness and caution—all flew into the furnace of his burning feelings. “I wanted to see you.” Mikasa froze for a moment. “Go away! If someone sees you…” Something in her voice suggested that now was not the time to retreat at all. Mikasa, surrounded by a trembling yellow light, seemed no less beautiful than when bathed in the flames of a hundred candles in a sparkling dress at the center of the stage. He took a step forward, wanting to see her better. She kept looking at him, and the irritation in her gaze was replaced by something else. Fear? No, agitation. Levi remembered how she’d pressed against him, letting him kiss her, and decided he had no choice left. He’d have to play dirty if he wanted to get closer to her. “If I leave now, I won’t come back,” he smirked, leaning against the wall of the house. “Then go!” Mikasa hissed, slamming the door in his face. Just a second ago, full of confidence, Levi froze. Stood by the wall like a statue. He’d been… brushed off? The picture in his head refused to come together. He’d been sure Mikasa was already in his hands. And she’d slipped away so easily? Levi couldn’t believe it. Not after their first kiss. Could she really, after clinging to him like that, reject him so easily? He didn’t believe it. Something else was at play here. But what if there was nothing else? Had she simply grown tired of this aura of danger? And what had they told her at the police station? Levi cursed. Whatever they’d told her—it would all be absolutely true. Some wooden door was no barrier for him. He could tear it out without a problem if he wanted to talk to Mikasa. But he wouldn’t convince her; he’d only scare her more and confirm everything she now knew. Could this really be the end?⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
Mikasa leaned her back against the door, trying to suppress the trembling in her body and the loud beating of her heart. Right outside her door stood Levi Ackerman. The very one both the Military Police and the Scouts were looking for. The one she’d so longed to see again. And why was she acting like this again? The answer was obvious—she was scared. Just an hour ago, Erwin Smith had made it clear he wouldn’t let her off the hook, that he’d watch her, entangle her in his nets even tighter. That same Smith had warned her that Levi was dangerous. And Mikasa knew it. She’d never been completely alone with him before. On the street, she’d subconsciously felt calmer. There were other people around, wandering the streets, living in houses. Here—indifferent neighbours, used to her arguments with Eren. Mikasa didn’t know if she could defend herself. Her strength was still there, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had to use it. She wouldn’t dare. What if she got scared at the last moment? Mikasa bit her lip. Levi was already here. And until now, he hadn’t done anything bad to her. Quite the opposite. And the only trouble was her misplaced, burgeoning infatuation. Hadn’t she just wanted to see him? So badly she could barely think about the concert. And here he was—right at her door, saying himself he wanted to see her. Why was she pushing him away again? She shouldn’t miss this chance. No one would interrupt her talking to him at home, at least to explain herself. And, honestly, she’d felt relieved seeing him. She’d thought he wouldn’t come anymore, but he had. Did she want to send him away again and discard this thrilling, unexplored feeling of new love? This was wrong. She shouldn’t associate with someone like him, but why then was her heart pounding so wildly, and why did she so badly want to feel Levi’s hands on her again? Levi was so close, just behind the door, and if someone had seen him, if someone recognised him, they’d definitely report it to the MPs. Or to Eren. It didn’t matter anymore. She’d have problems either way. So why torment herself and push Levi away again? Mikasa sighed heavily and opened the door.⸻・⸻ ♤ ⸻・⸻
Levi had stepped away when the door behind him creaked, and Mikasa’s quiet voice called out to him. “Wait, just come in quickly.” Such manipulations would have infuriated Levi to hell before. He wasn’t some dog to be kicked and then called over sweetly. If some brothel whore tried that on him—he wouldn’t have stood for it. These games didn’t work on him. But something in him had changed since meeting Mikasa. Something had softened imperceptibly, making him act like a complete fool. And instead of telling Mikasa to go to hell and finally getting to work, he turned and quickly slipped inside, closing the door behind him. A moment—and Mikasa was in his arms. His breath caught. Levi had expected anything—anger, fury, fear—but not such a warm welcome. But here she was—Mikasa—pressing against him, crumpling his jacket with her fingers. She was so close her scent enveloped him. A homey, warm scent, not at all the perfume he remembered on her. Not the lacquer of musical instruments, not champagne, not the mustiness of halls. The smell of her home. Her real scent. His head spun. He was spying on the most intimate part of Mikasa’s life. He was an uninvited guest, and he shouldn’t be here. He was putting Mikasa in danger just by being here. Levi shook his head slightly—that couldn’t be changed now, and it was too late to fix mistakes. Mikasa was being watched, whether Levi wanted it or not. His arms wrapped around her body of their own accord, squeezing tighter, and under his palms, Mikasa in a simple home shirt trembled. He wanted to examine her face up close, press her harder against himself, to the very limit, and kiss her, kiss her until desire overflowed them both and Mikasa yielded to his pressure. But he suppressed that desire, feeling how her shoulders trembled, how agitated she was. “I don’t know what to say,” Mikasa whispered, pulling away slightly. “Don’t say anything,” Levi said, touching her chin with his hand. For a moment, their gazes met. Levi’s eyes caressed every detail: her fluffy lashes, the completely dark grey of her eyes, her porcelain skin, slightly pink on her cheeks, and her full, soft lips. He pulled her face closer to his. Just a few more millimetres—an insignificant distance—and their lips would finally meet. But Mikasa jerked away, slipped from his grasp, and stepped deeper into the house. Despite the summer heat outside, the emptiness in his arms felt icy. Levi himself didn’t know what he should say. Everything was coming out wrong, disjointed. He could see Mikasa was drawn to him, that his desire was mutual, but she was still building a wall between them that he couldn’t seem to break through. It seemed—everything should be incredibly simple. Here she was, Mikasa—take her. But she still kept her distance, and Levi was cautious. Too many repeated mistakes that could cost him Mikasa. “You can’t be here. It’s better if you don’t show yourself in the city at all. They’re seriously after you.” “They’re always seriously after me. So seriously they let me walk calmly around the city right under their noses.” Mikasa turned around, looking at him disapprovingly. Levi was putting on a brave front. He himself didn’t take unnecessary risks. He knew when he could show himself and when it was better to disappear, but in front of Mikasa, he wanted to show off, let her know he had everything under control, even if he didn’t. Especially when her eyes sparkled so brightly. “Eren… he works in the Scouts. If he somehow finds out, it’ll be the end. I don’t know why they want you, but their commander has joined the search. Please, leave and don’t come back. I have enough problems, and if anyone else sees us together…” Levi stopped listening. Eren. That guy who’d called out to Mikasa? He wasn’t supposed to see them together? An unfamiliar feeling of jealousy flared in his chest. He wasn’t ready to share. Was Mikasa playing with fire? Was she hesitating? No wonder she was a capital singer. Maybe she wasn’t just stringing him along? “Is it because of that soldier-boy?” “What?” Mikasa stared at him, interrupting her stream of words. Levi leaned casually against the door, crossing his arms over his chest. He needed to know if he was wasting his time. A storm was brewing inside. He’d tried so hard to get close to Mikasa, but if she wouldn’t belong to him alone—all this would be for nothing. “Are you sleeping with him?” She was silent for just a moment, her face twisted with anger, and she stepped forward, spitting the words in his face: “You’re unbearable! Is that all you care about?!” Mikasa stared at him unblinkingly. And her look made Levi understand he had truly touched something in her. Something he shouldn’t have touched. Damn it. “What does that have to do with what we’re talking about? I was trying to help you, and all you think about is that! And what have I gotten myself into with you?!” Levi couldn’t take his eyes off her. This woman… He’d never felt such a pull towards someone who so clearly hated him. Mikasa in her anger was beautiful: her hair tousled in a homely way, sparkling eyes, bright lips, a gaze that burned right through him. Levi was ready to forget everything in the world just so she would keep looking at him and only him. But his head quickly cleared. If he quarrelled with her now—it wouldn’t bring him any closer to his goal. He’d think about the little soldier another time. Fighting over a woman wasn’t his style, but Mikasa was so… She turned away, waving a hand at him, and Levi realised he had to say something before she threw him out. “I… Actually, that’s not why I’m here. I heard the police detained you, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” “You… knew?” She turned, froze, and looked at him challengingly. Hell, he was walking on a knife’s edge. “Yes.” “And you still came here? To my house?” She clenched her hands into fists, as if preparing for a blow. Her beautiful, gentle face hardened, nostrils flaring. Levi understood—he’d made another mistake. “You know what, forget it. And get out of here. And forget about the kisses, and about what just happened here,” Mikasa waved her hand. “Wait, I’ll fix everything, I…” She turned sharply. “You’re so annoying! You, and the Scouts, and the MPs! You’ll all fix everything. Nothing needs fixing, everything was fine with me before you showed up! They interrogated me, held me at the station, and I, like a complete fool, worried about you! And you are…” Mikasa stepped towards Levi and stopped very close, and tears glistened in her eyes. Damn. Levi acutely felt what he really was. A criminal, a thief, a murderer. A danger. It was true that Mikasa was suffering because of him, and his sudden jealousy was only making things worse. It was out of place and was again ruining the fragile connection. Everything would be much simpler if he were an ordinary person, a simple worker or something. So he wouldn’t have to fight through what he really was. And how could he make Mikasa understand that she had truly become dear to him? “I’ll find a way to divert all suspicion from you. Trust me.” Levi saw, felt that she was still drawn to him, that she was fighting with herself, and that his very presence in the house tormented her, but he wasn’t ready to part with her when the promise of something more was so close. Levi was ready to promise anything, just so Mikasa wouldn’t disappear from his already joyless life. “No.” “Mikasa…” Levi couldn’t help himself, took one last step forward, reaching for her lips, but she deftly slipped behind his back and flung the door open. “Go,” Mikasa whispered. “You really should.” The steel in her voice cut deeper than the sharpest blade. Levi had no choice but to obey. The door clicked softly shut behind him as he found himself back on the street. Never in his life had he wanted so desperately to throw everything to the wind and start a new life. He needed to find the trace of that serum and finally sell it. Then he could leave the mafia. Blend into the crowd. Then he’d stop being interesting to the MPs. And then he could be with Mikasa.
