with one left hand

Another sleepless night passed unnoticed. All the long and quiet hours, Marcy sat silently on the bed, either playing chess with the bot or thinking about something. It was dangerous for her to think, though. What if your thoughts get pulled into the wrong place again? suddenly, from the topic of fictional plots in their own heads, they will begin to reach out to the topic of complete loneliness? in any case, it was inevitable. Her thoughts wouldn't let her sleep. She couldn't let go of the memories of the faces of old childhood friends who had exchanged her for a more "cool" company. People's faces flashed by as Marcy unsuccessfully tried to get to know them and find a common language. Everything turned out just awful. Almost every time she tried to establish contact with new people, she was seized by an obsessive fear of rejection, causing her entire body to shake, her thoughts to rush, and her hands to sweat. It was always a very awkward sight for both the "interlocutor" and Marcy herself. Every time the memories of failed dating attempts surfaced, Marcy instinctively exhaled loudly and covered her face with her hands, as if trying to hide from thoughts and memories. As soon as she tried to cover her face with her hands again, her phone vibrated under her pillow. It was an alarm clock set for half past seven. Marcy slowly pulled her palm off her face, realizing that a new day had arrived a long time ago. you need to get dressed again, you need to go out again, you need to sit alone at your desk again during recess and silently read fantastic stories, not paying attention to the feeling of other people's eyes everywhere. need to live this day alone again. just like in the usual way. Marcy groaned inwardly as she turned off the alarm clock under her pillow. There was complete silence at home, which already seemed familiar. The parents left half an hour ago, leaving their daughter with a ready-made breakfast on the table, which only needs to be warmed up. While the food was warming up, Marcy couldn't help but consider it his duty to glance angrily at the sofa and mentally curse it for being so uncomfortable. as if he were to blame for her insomnia. She took her time with breakfast, as she always did. she didn't have any strength at all. she had no energy for food, emotions, or basic actions. Forcing herself, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and set off. It's a pity that the journey wasn't the most pleasant either. Because of her broken arm, the backpack kept slipping off her shoulder, and it was very uncomfortable to fix it. she had to carry everything in her free whole hand. Her thoughts kept up and followed her relentlessly. Her tired gaze darted to the trees, next to which she had walked with Anne last night. yesterday's situation also gave her no peace. she could have done it on her own and brought the food home, she could have opened the door herself, she could have spent the rest of the day in quiet solitude again. coming to terms with the unexpected help was more or less easy, at least easier than with the memories of the last hug. Hugs are usually a sign of friendship and affection, aren't they? Does that mean they're friends now? Or does Anne just hug everyone she knows, ignoring personal boundaries? No, it doesn't look like it. there are too many thoughts and too few details. Marcy sighed and shook her head slightly in an attempt to get rid of her thoughts. She began to look at the green leaves of the planted trees, which were slightly moving in the gentle breeze. They all looked the same from a distance, but if you look closely, you can see that they are all different. everyone has their own personal size, shade of color, and speed of oscillation from the wind. In the same way, the students in their companies that surround Marcy every break stood out. some companies were fixated on the opinions of others, some companies were quite friendly and even slightly noisy, some companies were fixated only on their appearance - and all this united them. everyone has their own characteristics, everyone has their own thoughts, everyone has their own motive, and even this could unite them. But unfortunately, Marcy didn't have anything like them. absolutely nothing. She was a typical quiet, modest girl who liked to read science fiction books during recess. She still had to keep her mind occupied, no matter the size of the book or the type of music. She needed something to occupy myself and distract my thoughts. Marcy had to focus your attention on something and not think about the fact that she were sitting alone again against the background of cheerful classmates. They always ignored her and only turned to her if they needed help with homework or drawing for a school competition from the whole class. Marcy, by the way, was very good at drawing. Everyone knew this, despite the fact that no one had ever been interested in her drawings, and she hadn't shown anything. Every time the whole class had to take part in a contest and draw a picture on a huge poster, they always turned to Marcy. they are ready to do anything to wipe the nose of the guys from the parallel. They always tried to cheer Marcy up, not missing the opportunity to sometimes add a touch of sarcasm, suck up to her with cheap chocolates and silly phrases, just to make the drawing of their class stand out from the rest. Marcy certainly understood that they were doing this without sincere gratitude, and in the end she would not receive the well-deserved prize for the best drawing among the eighth graders. She had already accepted that she would always be alone, despite the varying attention from her classmates. There were also inconveniences with the door at the main entrance to the school. she had to stand guard until someone came in, and then quickly go after him. Marcy had just gotten inside the school, and she was already tired. it wasn't even fatigue from people or noise, but rather physical – the backpack weighs a lot, and the arm is not strong enough to hold it all day. she had to get out of it somehow and leave him in the office, carrying only a couple of textbooks and a pen in her pants pocket. Marcy looked around and scanned the walls of the hallway. Anne was standing at the end of a short hallway, sipping cool water from a faucet. It was one of the few times she stood alone instead of with her friendly company. as it turned out, she decided to go about her business without them. The brown-haired woman raised her head, wiping the remaining drops of water on her lips with the sleeve of her white shirt. Her face shows that her day also did not begin with the prime of her life. Anne's eyes caught a familiar situation at the other end of the hallway. The corners of his lips pulled up in a slight, tired smile as his legs guided his whole body wherever his eyes looked. The silhouette, or Marcy Wu, knelt in front of his own backpack, rummaging through it in search of stationery. the perfect prey for the predatory Anne Boonchuy. She crept up behind the girl, like a predatory wildcat had found its prey. Marcy's deft fingers darted from one pocket to the other, and her eyes darted to all points with a slight hint of eternal anxiety. loud endless thoughts drowned out all the background noise and rustling under my fingertips. diary, textbooks, notebooks, stickers.. Everything is wrong, where are the pens?? Marcy sighed and raised her hand to scratch her head. another sigh and a slap on the shoulders that made the girl squeal and flinch. She immediately turned around, puzzled by the uninhibited attack from behind. A surprised look slowly swept over Anne's entire body, starting with her yellow shoes and ending with a sly grin. The tension gradually subsided. Marcy relaxed only when they walked down the hallway to the biology room together and her hand finally rested from the weight of the backpack. Surprisingly, this time Marcy opened up even faster than yesterday. This time, the topic of conversation was the starry sky, which, as it turned out, both girls noticed last night. They both admired the blackness in the sky from different angles. they especially liked it when the whole variety of stars fell out of the dark deep abyss, similar to a collection of small unexplored worlds: red giants, white dwarfs, blue ones, and even some green ones, and suns... and through all this shimmering beauty, the Milky Way stretched like a snowy tail. the best look for the best topic, which is pleasant to discuss with the best close friend. The worst part was the annoying loud bell calling for students to sit down at their desks. Anne left Marcy's backpack by her desk with a light smile and reluctantly sat down in her seat. The biology lesson, like all the following subjects, passed with the usual boredom, monotony and slow speed. There was always someone whispering among themselves and rustling something, creating additional noise. It was often Sasha Weybright, whom almost everyone loved and hated equally at the same time. No wonder, she's known for her beauty and rebellious behavior among the rest of the school. at least she stands out from this gray mass. Too much, actually. Sometimes Marcy was a little jealous of her, but it didn't last very long. feeling a lot of other people's eyes on you is extremely unpleasant, especially when you forget the lyrics on stage. Marcy has always believed that Sasha is a typical show–off who loves the attention around her. There was nothing unusual or special about her, if you looked closely. This time, a crumpled piece of paper flew right under the bored Marcy's nose. Puzzled eyes darted around the nearest desks and classmates, looking for hints on their faces. and, of course, Ann Buncha stood out among them all with her "innocent" look out the window. She decided not to ask unnecessary questions and succumbed to the temptation to unfold the piece of paper. On the piece of paper, it was easy to read in neat handwriting: "What are the constellations? Has the topic not gone away yet?". heart skipped a beat, and a faint, unaccustomed wave passed through entire body. The smile could no longer be hidden. Marcy glanced at Anne and fixed her eyes on the black signature on the paper in front of her. Only after a few seconds did she take a ballpoint pen in her whole hand and awkwardly tried to write an answer: "Are you still asking? I'll keep all the information in my head for you until recess! ;P". Without thinking twice, Marcy squeezed a piece of paper and sent it to the original owner. In the awkward pause between them, her heart began to beat like crazy, pounding in her ears and almost drowning out thoughts that Anne was just joking. relief washed over his entire body in a wave, the corners of his lips lifted when he heard Boonchuy familiar quiet giggle somewhere to the side. Marcy stole a glance at the girl, noting all the details in her smile. Is she laughing at her or with her? She didn't have to think about this tense question for a long time. The rest of the lesson passed surprisingly quickly, and they met again to walk through the corridors and reflect on the subject of stars, as if they had known each other for several years. At least that's how it felt to Marcy. change after change, lesson after lesson, call after call, conversation after conversation. The day passed surprisingly quickly and pleasantly. Wu didn't even have time to think about something bad, and now her classmate is carrying her backpack again, escorting her home. Who would have thought that a broken arm could have such good unexpected consequences? Marcy opened the door with practiced movements and stuffed the keys back into her pocket. She left her backpack in the hallway, closed the door, and turned to a friend with a big smile on her face. – Thank you again – You're welcome, we've discussed this, – Anne giggled slightly and snuggled up to the girl, hugging her shoulders. they dispersed quite quickly and without any special frills. It's a pity that the thoughts couldn't go away as quickly. Now she definitely couldn't concentrate on her homework, or on yesterday's barely cooked food, or on the games. Marcy exhaled wearily and flopped down on the back of her chair. It was getting late. The modest little room with colorful posters on the walls was illuminated only by a desk lamp. She ran her hand through her hair, looking with interest and anxiety at her phone, which was resting quietly on the table. although there was nothing to rest from, Marcy was busy all day talking to Anne and trying to focus on the monotonous lessons. And why have my thoughts been circling around this girl for the second day in a row? Did she really enjoy talking to someone so much that she's ready to grab this chance and make the most of it, even if it ends with another embarrassing memory? Whatever happens to him, let it be so. What if she gets lucky one day? Taking a deep breath, Marcy picked up her phone. "Hey, hi!! it's Marcy! again I :) remember I told you about the game yesterday? just wanted to offer to try to feel the atmosphere and pleasure of the exciting story on itself. what do you say?? free tonight????" The message has been sent. Just as quickly, the phone violently went back to the table, clearly getting another scratch. Marcy now understood wonderfully that she had done it for nothing. She jumped up from her chair and began running nervous circles around the room, running her hand through her hair from time to time. Wasn't that too intrusive? they are clearly not close enough to communicate in such a manner. and what was that phrase at the end anyway? Is she asking her out on a date? What if Anne thinks so? It would be a complete collapse of everything she had achieved in recent days. At least she won't lose her arm, but she definitely won't be able to return to the Thai restaurant anymore. not to mention the school. Fortunately, my thoughts quickly found a way out of the situation – to repeat the material for tomorrow. anything is better than thinking "about a new girlfriend." Marcy's hand reached for her history textbook, but stopped when her phone vibrated. she jumped back as if from a fire, staring at him in horror. – just not a rejection, just not a rejection, just not a rejection... – Marcy mumbled nervously to herself, slowly reaching for the phone. The screen lit up, showing a new notification: "of course I remember! It's like "HAAK," right? I think I'll ask my mom to close early for a couple of minutes so that my hands don't dry out after washing the dishes. I'll be there in an hour and a half!" And everything went off: thoughts, heart, hands, Marcy herself. It's only been an hour and a half, and she doesn't even have her bed made. even the room is not cleaned. even the lights in the house are not on. Marcy was running around the rooms, trying to do several things at once. Something inside told her that this was the right decision, even though she personally saw with her own eyes that she was only making things worse. This became especially clear when the iron was in the fridge and the history textbook was in the toilet. Marcy clicked her tongue and slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand, realizing what she had brought herself to. a couple of encouraging phrases under her breath, motivating music in the background, maximum distraction from thoughts – all this only helped her to clean her room in an hour. There was no more time and peace of mind left to tidy up the rest of the rooms and prepare everything for the arrival of a classmate. Marcy waved her hand and ran to get her laptop and snacks, while trying not to fall down the stairs. And voila, now her forever dark, uncluttered room looks like the atmospheric lair of a typical nerdy teenager. The girl looked at her creation with great pride in her eyes and ran her hand through her hair again, but froze when she heard the doorbell. She came. she shuddered and, as if by instinct, quickly ran to open the door, checking along the way if she looked normal and not like a witch from Minecraft. Standing in front of the door for a couple of seconds, she cleared her throat slightly with a cough so that her voice wouldn't let her down at the most inopportune moment. the door opened, allowing their faces to meet. Marcy immediately stepped aside with a gentle smile, inviting Anne not to stand in the evening chill, but to enter the house completely. The brown-haired woman nodded understandingly and took a couple of steps. With a hint of admiration in her eyes, she ran her gaze through the hallway and living room, noting in memory some details both in the decor and in Marcy herself. – Wow, your house is so cozy, – the girl giggled, following her classmate. – You haven't seen my room yet Marcy paused, slightly intrigued, as she slowly opened the door. The youngest Wu's private room was the darkest and most decorated with homemade fakes of all the rooms in this house. A pale yellow garland hung from the ceiling on all the walls, posters with favorite games hung in places, and a couple of meme stickers on the door. Anne walked slowly inside, darting her gaze from one place to another. She whistled impressively and sat on the edge of the bed next to an open laptop and a couple of packs of snacks. – I take it back. It's cozy here Marcy giggled a little shyly and sat down next to him. She put her black laptop on her lap to download a file for a new Boonchuy game. – Come on, don't exaggerate. when you look at the atmosphere and style of the game, you'll immediately understand what real comfort is, – she said proudly, handing the laptop into Anne's hands. – Oh, oh, is that him? The ruins in the background are the same city, right? – you'll figure it out yourself, just press the button, – Marcy grinned and even dared to pat her on the shoulder, mentally summoning all her courage for this friendly gesture. soft and even slightly soothing sounds of the game began to sound throughout the room, complemented by the girls' comments among themselves and Anne's indignant screams when she reached the first boss. Marcy sat next to him with admiration in her eyes, watching the game and giving advice. The fluttering inside my chest still wouldn't calm down. Did she really have a friend now? The time spent on the laptop and playing the game flew by so quickly that all the snacks were long gone, half of the locations were open, and Mr. and Mrs. Wu's car had already pulled up to the house. Neither the girls nor the spouses knew about the unexpected surprise that Marcy herself had unknowingly prepared for them. The husband and wife calmly went inside, not even noticing an extra pair of yellow shoes at the entrance due to fatigue. Mr. Wu, without further ado, fell onto the sofa with a sigh, and the woman, noting the light in the window from the street, went up to the second floor with her last strength. Yawning, she easily opened the door to her daughter's room, opening her eyes only gradually. – Marcy, you haven't-... – Mrs. Wu froze and glanced from her daughter to Anne, – hello. And you're not.... The woman didn't have time to finish. more precisely, she hadn't planned to, as she delayed the last "not" long enough to make it clear that she didn't know the name. Anne smiled politely and paused the game. – Hello, Mrs. Wu! Don't worry, I was let in here voluntarily. I'm Anne Boonchuy, Marcy's friend. her classmate, if anything, – her voice sounded completely carefree and light, as if she had been ready for this moment all her life.

At that moment, all the emotions flashed through Marcy's eyes from the right word: surprise, hope, and joy.