with one left hand

"usually in silence, in lonely silence, our thoughts scream the loudest, which we try so hard to hide in the noise of everyday life."

Vasilisa Volodkina

the same thing

day after day.

still the same school, boring people in the hallways, boring homework, and, of course, insomnia. The only thing that can color such a gray day is your favorite games in the evenings and delicious food after school from the Boonchuy family restaurant nearby. and this, by the way, is very convenient.

Marcy has always been very clumsy, it's no secret, but for some reason she always justified it by saying that her body simply couldn't keep up with her ever-working brain, even if no one said anything. She especially had to justify herself to her parents after another attempt to cook herself dinner or a simple snack after school. Mr. and Mrs. Wu always worked late, especially in recent months, forcing their daughter to cook her own meals. After all, 8th grade is coming up, exam preparation and other important tasks, and Marcy still can't cook eggs well. no matter how they are prepared, everything is unsuccessful. and the subject of cooking never bothered the girl, at least until exactly the moment when her stomach began to hurt more and more often, and sometimes everything was spinning in her eyes, even if she was just sitting in place. thus, Marcy found a smart way out of this situation – daily trips to the Thai restaurant Boonchuy. it was an ideal option: very close to home, delicious, fast, inexpensive, high-quality and, more importantly, safe. of course, anyone can make a slight mistake with the recipe, but at least the Boonchuy family has always cooked very well and finding unwanted protein in their food was simply an unimaginable case. now another item has been added to Marcy's to-do list: "go get food," which she sometimes forgot about because of thoughts about the difficult level in the game, but still in the evenings she always returned to these, it seemed, already slightly familiar walls of the restaurant. but it was difficult to even call them relatives, especially considering the complete strangers around. of the familiar faces, she only knew her classmate Anne Boonchuy, who seemed to be standing at the checkout day and night, smiling kindly and always giving Marcy the same order, while helping her parents with work. Soon they got used to seeing each other every day and exchanging food and money, but they did not communicate more or closer. at least now it has become much easier and less uncomfortable for Marcy to go to a restaurant, knowing that she will meet at least one familiar person there who will never ask anything superfluous and will not rush, because she already knows for sure what needs to be done. However, another fun feature recently appeared in Marcy's "varied" day schedule – a broken left arm. It's become a pain in the ass. Remember when we talked about Marcy's clumsiness and insomnia? Well, it certainly played a role on her. Playing Minecraft in the evening, she got so bored with mining resources in the cave that she did not notice how her eyes began to close and her body began to relax. at least that's how she justified herself to her parents after the accident. and nothing special would have happened if Marcy didn't like to hang upside down while playing, with her legs thrown over the back of the couch and hold the phone above her head. Then her legs wouldn't go limp and start falling right towards her head, and she wouldn't have to tumble to the floor with a soft squeak. what a pity that this squeak does not have the most pleasant consequences. now life has become one hand more complicated. with a broken arm, it's difficult to even pour yourself a glass of water, not to mention unsuccessful desperate attempts to cook yourself a meal. If the school could have made an exception by allowing Marcy not to write in class or exercise, then no one canceled everyday activities such as covering up the effects of insomnia with concealer or banal changing clothes. You can't even play Minecraft with one hand in the doctor's queue, so you have to sit in silence for an hour and a half in the early morning among old ladies and sloppy preschoolers, swallowing the uncomfortable atmosphere. Unfortunately, the parents couldn't stay and help their daughter do the basic morning chores and left for work early again. The broken arm was a big hindrance, considering that you can't even draw anything funny on a cast without getting strange sidelong glances from passersby. Who would even care about a drawing of a cowboy dinosaur on plaster? It's none of their business, right? That's exactly what Marcy was thinking when she took a bright pink ballpoint pen in her free hand and, thank the frog, a whole hand. For the rest of the day, she had to get bored and occasionally glance at the furious dinosaur, wondering if she should paint the laser out of its eyes green. despite the fact that she was allowed to stay at home and not go to school, there was not much fun. There's not much she can do with one hand, the most she can do is hold the TV remote control and switch boring channels with popular TV shows consisting of plots she's learned by heart for a long time. No matter how long and boring the day dragged on, one thing remained the same–going out for food. she would have gladly canceled this point, but her rumbling stomach loudly insisted otherwise. Throwing a slightly worn denim jacket over her shoulders, Marcy went outside and closed the door behind her. The cool evening air immediately swept over the girl's face, as if greeting her. a response in the form of goosebumps ran through my whole body. Catching sight of the mesmerizing sunset landscape behind the small houses on the other side of the road, Marcy unconsciously held her breath and froze. Indeed, who wouldn't like the dark orange flowing clouds that spread over almost the entire lower sky line? If her hands had been whole, she would have rushed to get a pencil and a sketchbook right now, trying to sketch a soft, soft view of the sky as quickly as possible. but, alas, the repeated cool breeze made Marcy shudder and reminded her of her previous plans. Slowly and deeply inhaling the autumn air with her nostrils, Marcy walked slowly along the memorized route, sometimes shuffling her sneakers on the slightly wet asphalt. It's very quiet and deserted outside, even the insects couldn't seem to stand the weight of boredom from that day and flew away to some remote island to arrange a secret org party there. Thinking about it, Marcy was already ready to grow the wings of a fly and fly with them. anything to never sit on the couch again with the noise of lame TV shows, when you want to do so much, but you can't. It was the most boring and longest day of my life. Thinking about it, Marcy found herself thinking that now, for some reason, she misses school. at least there you can watch from afar how some new guy makes a "chocolate fountain". It's not the best entertainment, especially when you're watching it from the sidelines, but at least it creates the illusion that you have friends. standing near the crowd of students who were laughing uncontrollably at the "chocolate" entertainment, it seemed like you were standing among your friends. It seemed that you were laughing not alone, but with them. Surprisingly, the weight of another day and boredom weighed not only on Marcy, but also on the youngest of the Boonchuy family, who stood behind the cash register, bored, with her head propped on her palm. It's late in the evening, but it's still 15 minutes before closing time, so she'll have to suffer to the end whether she wants to or not. the soft, barely visible light of other people's bulbs flickered in the windows of the houses opposite the shop. She couldn't help but think how wonderful it would be if she went to bed right now. but, unfortunately, it is impossible. Mr. and Mrs. Boonchuy went away on business, leaving their daughter in charge for the rest of the restaurant's working hours. That's why she has to stand at the cash register and look at the empty tables, whether she wants to or not. Anne let out a long, tired sigh, falling headfirst onto the counter. The clock was ticking, and that was the only sound you could focus your tired ears on, unless, of course, you counted the occasional passing car and the ringing of bells above the door, which made the girl shudder and raise her head in a slight panic. It took a couple of moments for her vision to focus, during which time she managed to run her eyes around the inner square of the building a couple of times, think that a fifth-grader was robbing her and even cursed at him, but she remained silent. Anne immediately relaxed and exhaled with relief, putting her hand to her chest when she saw the familiar disheveled black hair and the green hairpin on the left side. The girl straightened up and stretched with a quiet breath, stretching her back. –Oh, Marcy, it's you. You're late today, – her gaze involuntarily fell on the other girl's bandaged hand, but she decided to squeeze out a friendly, practiced smile, – now I'll do everything, give me a minute. Without saying a word more, she immediately disappeared behind a wooden curtain of beads and began to prepare an order in a cozy kitchen. and so Marcy was left alone with herself. From the neighboring kitchen came the sweet smells of rice and the sounds of frying fish cutlets. She idly ran her finger along the smooth wooden surface of the counter, examining the notes taped to the cash register. It didn't seem like much time had passed, but Anne had already prepared everything her classmate needed. she carefully folded the order into a recycled paper bag and, going out to the brunette, handed her the food with habitual movements. the girl put the money already prepared for payment on the counter, so she took the order and nodded silently, turning to leave on her heels. Boonchuy suddenly shuddered and jumped over the counter and ran up to her. Without any excuses, Anne carefully but quickly adjusted the denim jacket on Marcy's shoulders and opened the door for her. Both girls froze for a few seconds, staring at each other with startled eyes. The awkward silence quickly began to press on his ears, making the air between them seem to crack. What was that all about? unwilling to respond to their own thoughts and in an attempt to somehow dilute the confused atmosphere, the classmates were forced to squeeze out an awkward smile and nod to each other. Marcy could have left calmly, and Boonchuy could have just closed the door behind her and exhaled, but her body completely refused to give in to thoughts. As soon as Wu turned left on the sidewalk, Boonchuy caught herself from sudden thoughts about how hard it would be for her to open the door of the house with one hand. quickly turning off the lights in the building and locking the door, she hurriedly caught up with the girl. accidentally making her flinch, Anne lightly brushed Marcy's shoulder and with a tired smile through heavy, greedy sighs said: – Hey.. You're probably uncomfortable.. Yes? Let me... let me help you carry it. Marcy's heart seemed to stop for a couple of seconds, either from fright or surprise. she froze again, her brown, surprised gaze began to flit from the bag of food in her free hand to the kind eyes of the brown-haired woman next to her. Seconds began to last like minutes, and all extraneous sounds disappeared, except for her own incredulous thoughts and Anne's loud, tired breathing. With a slightly shaking hand, Marcy handed her a bag of food and nodded slightly. There was nothing to do anyway, especially since it was at least some kind of variety for the day, right? Unfortunately, the silent tension in the air did not disappear as they began to walk along the lightly lit sidewalks towards Wu's house. Now, not only Marcy's sneakers were barely making a noise in the background, but also a paper bag in the hands of another girl. It's a good thing Anne can't hear her heart pounding, otherwise it would be terribly embarrassing. She can't hear, can she? The awkwardness didn't go away with the girl's harsh but soft first words through the silence. – how did you break your arm in the first place? This question made her flinch slightly and instinctively start coming up with an excuse. an excuse was necessary, otherwise the only classmate with whom she has a neutral relationship and at least some kind of relationship will think that she sold a kidney, uses questionable substances, eats exclusively energy drinks and does not sleep at night for diamonds in the mine. The last point was true, but she obviously didn't need to know that. Marcy cleared her throat with a soft cough and scratched her head. – I... uh.. fell off the couch. I just didn't sleep well, you know? – Her voice sounded hurried and even slightly indistinct, but loud enough to make sense of her speech. The brown-haired girl giggled softly, imagining the scene of a sleeping Marcy flying off the couch. Her lips curled into a kind, bright smile as she waved her free hand. – of course I understand, I wake up every morning with my feet on the floor, – Anne paused for a couple of seconds and darted her gaze to her classmate's T–shirt, – wow, that's a cool T–shirt. Who's that on it? Marcy chuckled and glanced at her clothes, genuinely not understanding what she was so interested in. it was an ordinary black T-shirt with a Naruto print in the form of the popular meme "chill guy". she had completely forgotten that because of the inconvenience with her arm, she was forced to go out for food in her home clothes. Her thin lips twitched in a slight smile, and her eyes darted around the sidewalk under her feet. – Oh, this is Naruto, the main character from the anime of the same name. It has a pretty interesting, but long storyline. actually, I haven't watched this anime, over time it bored me dead. My mom gave me the T-shirt when she noticed that I was watching something for a long time. –Oh, popular memes, I understand, – Anne drawled and nodded her head understandingly. While Marcy was looking down at her feet, she calmly examined her outerwear and the badges on her worn jeans jacket, – Who's that in the mask? It looks cool. At first, Marcy didn't understand what was going on and began to look at all her badges with an interested look. Anne, watching this, couldn't help but giggle softly and decided to help her in her search by pointing at a small badge on her collar. It depicted a silent hero in a strange helmet with yellow eyes and a blue cloak. – Oh, you mean that. His name is HAAK. He is the main character from a video game of the same name, which is positioned as a platformer with elements of metroidvania. and it's impossible to argue with this, but it's worth noting that there's a lot more action here than backtracking through previously inaccessible areas of the location with the hero's newly discovered abilities. But the plot here is just so exciting that it's impossible to keep silent about it, even if you've played less than one percent of the entire game, – Marcy immediately began to chatter when it came to her favorite game. Her eyes, which were always half-closed and looked constantly tired, which only emphasized the presence of bruises under them, seemed to light up with an unusually lively light for a couple of seconds, but almost immediately went out when she realized that she had started talking too much. Marcy fell silent, pursed her lips, and, glancing at the girl next to her, awkwardly scratched the back of her head with her whole hand. Anne, in turn, was taken aback, not understanding what had made her stop so abruptly. She ran her eyes over her features, noting the slightest changes, such as an awkward blush on her cheeks and biting her lower lip, apparently to keep herself from saying too much. Boonchuy immediately realized what was going on. She always knew how to understand and respect people, which is why she had a good reputation at school and a lot of friends, as well as a small company consisting of the same kind-hearted and funny people. Anne could even nod with confidence if someone asked her: "Do you like people?". And she really did. In her opinion, each person is unique and interesting in their own way: everyone has their own story, hobbies, peculiarities, tastes... and she liked learning new things about people, getting to know them better. She was especially interested in closed people or those who needed to have special trust in order to say a word – such people needed their own special approach, and this interested her even more, forcing herself to choose different options for friendship offers. Usually, such people have always been some kind of "outcasts" or "quiet ones" among the rest of society, but Anne believed that this only sets them apart from everyone and makes them more attractive to themselves, as if luring them to get to know each other better and learn a little more than all those who see them "not like that." Bunchoy immediately became interested in Marcy when she fell silent, apparently thinking that she was talking too much about a game that was uninteresting to others. The girl leaned forward slightly with a soft smile on her lips, clasping her hands behind her back. There was a flash of genuine interest in chatter and kindness in her eyes, which she always exuded so much. – What's the plot? three words and the expression in her eyes were enough to make Marcy hold her breath with joy and a little disbelief, realizing that she was being listened to. From that moment on, Marcy couldn't be shut up; for most of the rest of the way to her house, she talked about the plot of the video game, sometimes adding important details about gameplay, gesticulating slightly with her free hand and occasionally glancing at the girl next to her, as if checking if she was listening. Anne was listening. Her interested, silent appearance only gave her more motivation to talk further, even with more enthusiasm. So the two of them walked along an empty street, lit only by lanterns and the cold moonlight that filtered through the leaves of the trees planted next to the sidewalk. There were so many stars in the sky that it was possible to discover new ones without a telescope. and the silence all around. nothing but the rustle of a paper bag with food inside, the clatter of girls' soles on the sidewalk and their clear friendly voices actively discussing their favorite singers and bands. If you look at this picture from the outside, you might easily think that they are either old friends or distant sisters who met after a long separation. Approaching the porch of Wu's house, Marcy, out of habit, began to take the key out of the pocket of her black jeans. Anne patiently rested her elbows on the white railing behind her with a gentle smile, and looked at the stars with silent admiration in her eyes. Now, amidst the comfortable silence, absolutely everything seemed comfortable, even the realization that she would now have to trudge home alone in the same silence. Marcy opened the door, turned on the light in the hallway and put the bag of food on the bedside table by the entrance. She closed the door, silently turning to her classmate. – I... this.. Thank you for helping. And for talking to me. It would be boring without you. Anne smiled softly, but barely audibly. her lower eyelids lifted slightly from behind her cheeks. Without saying anything, she came closer to Marcy and put her two arms around her shoulders. In less than a couple of seconds, she pulled away from her with a soft, warm smile and patted her right shoulder. – You're welcome, Marcy. if something happens, I will try to help. after these words, she turned around and, with a slight wave goodbye, disappeared around the corner of the neighboring house, deciding to shorten the path along the paths between the houses. Marcy was left alone with herself. She stood silently at the entrance for probably another minute and stared after her with incomprehension and a certain hope in her eyes. The feeling of warmth from someone else's body still spread in pleasant waves down my back, and my shoulder tingled slightly from the gentle friendly claps. Marcy had not been hugged for so long that she had completely forgotten this dull feeling in her soul and body. It had been a long time since her classmates had hugged her. especially... Friends?

"that's the variety."