Bite, Lick, or Nothing: Part 13
July 8, 2025 at 7:08 AM
β Hello everyone, β Skully greeted the audience on camera, stretching his arms out to the sides. β This is Skully, that is, me. And today we have shocking guests. Monkeyboy. β Skully introduced a gorilla in an American spacesuit from planet Earth to his right. The monkey was wearing a helmet. He smiled, waved his hand and said:
β Greetings to you all, the Ambassador of Peace from Earth.
β And the arachnomoof Zlydny. Captain Tim. β the skeleton introduced a spider with a huge lip to his left. He smiled and made a sound exactly like the sound of Chewbacca from Star Wars. β He understands everything, but he doesnβt speak.
β Is it normal that he speaks in a voice like Chewbacca from Star Wars? β asked Monkeyboy.
β I donβt know. β Skully scratched the back of his head. β The budget was enough to buy the copyrights only for these sounds for the voice acting. Besides, they sound funny. β after the skeleton's explanation, Captain Tim smiled and made the same sound again in confirmation.
β Okay, I forgive you. After all, you're so soft and fluffy. Come to daddy, I'll pet you. β the monkey says affectionately and just extended his hand, when suddenly Captain Tim wanted to bite his hand, but Monkeyboy managed to pull his hand away. β Stop! No! You can't! Ugh! Bad boy! Don't bite! No! β he sternly twists his index finger, and the arachnomorph watches his finger despite the lack of eyes.
β Can I continue? β asked the skeleton.
β Of course, Bro Hater Jr. β the monkey in the spacesuit answered jokingly.
β Thank you. Today we have an awesome challenge Bite, Lick or Nothing. Surely you have all seen it more than once and you do not need to repeat the rule. I will only say that under no circumstances should you repeat after us. After all, some dishes can be life-threatening. β While Skully was telling all this on camera, ten trays appeared on the table.
β Hey! Where did these trays appear on the table in a second? β Monkeyboy asked.
β The magic of editing, Monkeyboy. It's all editing. β Skully explained. β Oh yeah. I completely forgot to tell you about the punishment that awaits the one who refuses to perform the action. Today's punishment is a catapult flight.
β That's great. After one show after this, I'll quickly fly home. β said the monkey astronaut.
***
β The first tray on our table. I wonder what they prepared for us there? Probably some kind of crap, as always. Well then. I'll open it. β Skully opens the tray and inside was half a fresh lemon. β Ha! Is this your tough test? What's next? Lumpy porridge? β Monkeyboy couldn't help but laugh. β Well, Monkeyboy, we always have to start with the easy ones. Now let's see who gets what. β the three of them looked up. "Bite!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Lick!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Nothing!" appeared above Tim's head. β Well then. I'll start. β Come on. You're used to it. β says the monkey in the spacesuit. Skully ran his tongue over the lemon and, feeling how sour it was, wrinkled his face. The cherem turned from white to yellow. Even his cheeks changed color and became dark green. β Hellish sourness. β he answered with a distorted voice. Monkeyboy laughed, clutching his stomach. β Who can stand citric acid like that? Look how it's done! β He bragged, opened his helmet, took a lemon and put it in his mouth, chewing. Then, feeling the acid, he immediately spat the chewed pieces on Skully's face. β Ugh. Isn't it ripe or something? β Skully was shocked by what he saw, and the monkey in the spacesuit saw pieces of lemon on the skeleton's face. β Ouch. Do you have jaundice? β He turned and shouted around the corner of the screen. β Someone bring Skully a paper napkin!***
β The second tray is on our table. Let's see what awaits us there? - Skully picked up the tray, and inside was a bat. It was holding an orange with its wings and eating it with its sharp teeth. β A bat that eats fruit. So it's generally harmless. I think I'm going to fly on a catapult now, because it would be a shame to bite it. Look up. β "Lick!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Nothing!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Bite off!" appeared above Tim's head. β Hooray! I'm lucky and I won't fly on a catapult. Well, Monkeyboy, can you lick a bat? β I'm ready to lick a dragon. β After answering, Monkeyboy opened his helmet and leaned down to lick the bat, when suddenly, in self-defense, it turned around and bit the monkey on the nose. Monkeyboy stepped back. β Ow! Why do you all bite? It hurts. β Well, Tim-Tim, it's your turn. Or would you rather choose punishment? β only Skully asked the arachnomorph, but the latter only smiled calmly, pounced on the bat, which finished its orange and swallowed it whole, without even chewing. From what Skully and Monkeyboy saw, their eyes bulged and their mouths gaped. β What, was it even possible? β the monkey grabbed his head.***
β The third tray is ready to surprise us. Let's not drag it out. β Skully said to himself and opened it. Inside the tray was an electric ball of yellow color. β What? It's ball lightning! β Wow. Can me charge my phone with it? β Monkeyboy asked. β Let's see what we get? β "Bite!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Nothing!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Lick!" appeared above Tim's head. β Ow-ow. β the monkey said. β It seems we're having fried big-lipped spider for dinner today. β Tim-Tim, can you lick it? β Skully asked the arachnomorph. He only doubted and made a sound. Slowly and carefully crawling towards the ball, he slowly sticks his tongue out of his lip. Ball lightning begins to shock him. Captain Tim crawled away and all his fur stood on end. Monkeyboy laughed, clutching his stomach and said: β You're not a spider anymore... You're a poodle! β You're celebrating too early. You'll have to bite it off, β said Skully. β Then we need to be on the safe side, β answered the monkey in the suit, took out a rubber mat and put it on the floor, standing on top of it. β They showed something like that in one movie about sharks and an underwater lab. Monkeyboy opened his helmet, bent down, opened his mouth and was about to take a bite, when suddenly ball lightning entered his mouth itself. It quickly passed over the monkey's body and, having reached the rubber mat, dissolved. The monkey in the suit did not even twitch.***
β And we are ready for the fourth tray. Let's open it. β Skully opened the tray, and inside was an object similar to a brick, which glowed green and made strange sounds, somewhat reminiscent of groaning or bones knocking against each other. β What is it? β It's radiation, β answered Monkeyboy. β Well, more precisely, a radioactive element. It is very dangerous for life, since radiation causes mutations and can kill. Only in movies and comics do I use it to gain various abilities. In real life, it is better not to approach it. β Okay, let's see what we get. β said the skeleton and the three looked up. "Bite!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Nothing!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Lick!" appeared above Tim's head. β It is somehow suspicious that we got the same results as before. β And I myself do not want to touch this radioactive crap. I'd rather choose punishment. β said the monkey in the spacesuit and left. Captain Tim made his sound of agreement and also left.***
Monkeyboy and Captain Tim left the skull ship and, having found a catapult, sat down together on a huge spoon. The catapult launched the two of them into outer space and they flew away screaming. They were flying straight to a lava planet with volcanoes. The monkey's eyes bulged and he and the arachnomorph started screaming hysterically. Suddenly, Lord Evil himself flew in from the side on a jetpack and caught the two. β Did you think I wouldn't save you? β the skeleton asks, smiling. Captain Tim smiles, making a swof sound. β I'm glad to see you too, β the monkey says.***
β We're back and ready to open the fifth tray. Let's go! β Skully says and opens it. Inside this tray was a bowl of live worms. β Ugh! Are those worms? β Too Easy. β Monkeyboy waved his hand, and Captain Tim just made a sound. β Let's see who's unlucky. β Monkeyboy's head clicked "Bite!", Skully's head clicked "Nothing!", and Tim's head clicked "Lick!". The skeleton clenched his fists and his cheeks turned red. β Damn it! Same result again. β Skully looked around and hissed at the camera. β Are you cheating with your remote again, Lord Wander? β You first, spider! β the monkey in the spacesuit asked and Captain Tim stuck out his tongue, deciding to lick the worms in the bowl. Then he felt disgusted and started spitting. β What's wrong, Pumbaa? Have you fallen out of love with eating insects? Oh yeah, you're not a boar. Watch how it's done! β He opened his helmet, leaned over, picked up one worm and sucked it into his mouth like spaghetti. Later, the astronaut felt the worm continue to move in his stomach. β Uh... Why does it continue to move in my stomach? Is it normal? β I don't think so. It seems your stomach is not set up to eat insects. β the skeleton thought out loud. Suddenly, Monkeyboy felt like vomiting. β Oh, no. I think I'm going to puke in my helmet. β he said to himself, clutching his stomach and squatting down. He puked under the table off-screen. Skully and Captain Tim stepped back. The skeleton's cheeks turned dark green from what he saw.***
β The sixth tray is on our table. Let's find out what awaits us. β Skully said and opened it. Inside the tray was a rustling bag of honey. β Honey? β he asked, and Tim-Tim made his own sound with joy. β Look at the scoreboard! β "Lick!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Bite off!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Nothing!" appeared above Tim's head. Tim got upset and started to cry. β My sincerest apologies, little spider. β said the monkey, opening her helmet and licking the honey the first time. β But you still can't have sweets. β He licked again. β Everyone knows what happens to you when you eat sweets. β He licked for the third and final time and closed his helmet. β That's it. I'm full. β Three licks and that's enough for you? β the skeleton was surprised. β Okay, now it's my turn. β Skully took a spoon and began to eat all the honey. Captain Tim watched this and was sad. β No, Tim, don't even think about it. You go crazy from sweets and go berserk. β says Monkeyboy.***
β The seventh tray waited for us to reach it. Let's see what's inside. β There was a large pill inside the tray. β A jumping pill? β Wasn't the catapult enough for you? β asks the monkey in the spacesuit. β Now let's see who has to jump. β "Lick!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Bite off!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Nothing!" appeared above Tim's head. β Well, let's try. β Monkeyboy opened his helmet and licked the pill. After that, he jumped in place above his height three times. β Wow. Before, I could only jump up to the height of my knees. β I want to jump like that, too. β said the skeleton, swallowed the whole pill and got ready to jump. β Infinity is not the limit! β he said a Buzz Lightyear phrase and jumped so high that he accidentally broke through the ceiling and got stuck with his legs dangling from the ceiling. β YOUR CONCRETE IS SO DELICIOUS!!! β You should have gone outside before jumping. β the monkey suggested and the arachnamorph roared in agreement.***
β We reached the eighth tray. What's in there? β Skully asks and opens it. There was white hair inside. β Ugh! What is this, hair or something? β Monkeyboy asks. β Yes. And it's not just hair. It's hair from Dominator's armpits. β You're crazy! Where did you get it from? β the monkey asked. β Good question. β Skully answered. β Here's how.The day before
Dom finished shaving her armpits in the bathroom and came out. At this time, Zorphen was hiding behind a curtain in the bathroom and looking at the remains of hair on the floor from Dominator's armpits.Today
β And now all eyes on the scoreboard! β "Nothing!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Bite off!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Lick!" appeared above Tim's head. β Ouch. I'm unlucky. You're first, Tim-Tim. β Captain Tim ran his tongue through his hair and, feeling disgust, began to spit. β Damn. If he didn't like it, then I might not like it either. β The skeleton's cheeks turned dark green. β So what are you going to do? β asked the monkey. β What do you do, what do you do? β Skully shook his head. β Choose a punishment. β he answered and left. β Good riddance. β answered Monkeyboy jokingly.***
Skully also left the skull ship, went to the catapult and sat down on a huge spoon. While he was sitting, he thought out loud: β Maybe I should take a parachute with me?... Right, I'll do that just in case. β but before he could get out of the catapult, Lna had already launched it. Skully, with bulging eyes, purple cheeks and a shrill girlish scream, flew through space and flew to the nearest planet with a metropolis. In this metropolis, Lily and Hiro were standing on one of the streets. β Well, then I tell him, I'll shave my head bald only when Skully falls out of the sky on me. β After saying this, Lily starts laughing along with Hiro. Suddenly, Skully fell right on Lily. β Phew, good thing I fell on something soft. β Skully was happy. β Oh, shit. β Hiro was surprised and knelt down, turning to Lily. β You'll have to shave your head bald, sis. Skully just literally fell out of the sky on you. β Oh (Censored)! β Lilith cursed, but the editing beeped her word.***
β Tray number nine is on our table, which means we'll open it. β Skully said and opened it. There was an octopus inside. β Flit. The octopus here is nasty. Okay, let's see what we'll do next. β "Nothing!" appeared above Monkeyboy's head, "Lick!" appeared above Skully's head, and "Bite!" appeared above Tim's head. β Yeah. β The monkey raised his fist. β I'm resting. β Damn. I'm going to have to lick this stuff. β Skully said, running his tongue over the octopus's head. His cheeks turned dark green, and he spat to the side. β Salty and raw. I don't know how you're going to bite it, Tim-Tim. Captain Tim just made his sound, smiling, and crawled up to the octopus to bite it. The octopus pounced on the arachnamorph's lip and grabbed it. They both fell to the floor and began to fight. β What a fight! β Monkeyboy said, surprised. β What do we have here, Spider-Man versus Doctor Octopus or something?***
β The last tray is about to be opened and there should be something special there. But before we open it, we kindly ask you, dear viewers, to subscribe to our official website, the address of which you can see in the lower corner of the screen. And also donβt forget to write if you want us to continue making episodes of βBite, Lick, or Nothingβ? Okay, letβs open it. β Skully opened the tray and inside was a magicianβs hat. β Itβs some kind of hat. β Monkeyboy said. β Not just a hat; Monkeyboy, but a magicianβs hat. Now letβs look up! β βLick!β appeared above Monkeyboyβs head, βBite!β appeared above Skullyβs head, and βNothing!β appeared above Timβs head. β Monkeyboy, go! β Always ready. β the monkey answered, opened his helmet, leaned towards the hat and ran his tongue over it. β Wait! I think Iβve got something in my mouth. β stretching out his hands, he stuck out of his mouth a very long rope made of several multi-colored rafts tied together. β Well, well. The hat turns out to be really magical. β Skully and Captain Tim applauded, clapping their hands and paws. Monkeyboy bowed. β Thank you. Now it's your turn, Skally. β Skully. β he corrected him. β Well, that's what I said, Skunk. β he again mispronounced Skully's name as a joke. The skeleton waved his hand, leaned over and bit off a piece of the hat. He stood in place and frowned. β Strange. Nothing is happening. β he only said to himself and suddenly he turned into a hare, which appeared on the table. β Aww. So I still like you. β the monkey in the spacesuit was touched and stroked the hare. Suddenly the hare turned back into a skeleton. β Oh! No, no, that's it. I've had enough of these transformations. β he said and addressed the audience, looking into the camera. β By the way. Did you know that Lily and Starfall tried to steal our idea for our show and tried to record their unsuccessful pilot episode of their plagiarism show, which never happened. We recommend you watch it if you haven't already. Thanks for providing the material to a certain hedgehog girl named Varanda. β Yes, yes. Come in and watch. There's just an epic battle and quarrel. And bye everyone. β Monkeyboy waves goodbye with his hand. Skully does the same with his hand and Captain Tim with his paw, making his own sound at the end.
