Fantasy Beasts and What They Reveal

-We are against meat! No more killing of poor animals! Give us plant food! - chanted a loudly disgruntled crowd of elves and druids gathered in the square in front of the royal dining hall during the seventh breakfast. -What's going on under my windows? - wiping his hands on the tablecloth and finishing a sandwich with pork pate, asked the pudgy king all dressed up in furs and clothes of the firm Bucci. -I have no idea my lord- answered the senior advisor, dressed up like a butterfly from distant shores, who was finishing a tartlet of platinum caviar. -"Execute them. -No, my lord. We have what's-his-name... -Ah! The rights of all living things! You can't just order the beheading now, my lord. - -How disgusting! -said the king, reaching for a second pâté sandwich. The counselor politely took the dainty with his handkerchief and handed it to the ruler. -What next? Are they going to invent some kind of democracy? And the country will be ruled by some fantastic creatures. Don't let that happen, Leah." said the king. -Well, urgently call the special department to deal with it, or I will completely lose my appetite and I'll be too lazy to reduce taxes... Although, I'm too lazy to do it in principle. -said the king, sipping Coca-Cola from a tube. Ten minutes later, a lacquered black stagecoach pulled up to the square. It certainly attracted the attention of the protesters. Several figures poured out of the stagecoach, one after another, into a shapeless tangle that resembled a shoggoth. -We seem to have forgotten Shaak," came the quiet voice of a ragged, gray-skinned girl whose rags hadn't gotten any dirtier after she'd been covered in mud. -That's right, she was just here to crush me. And you geezer stayed sitting there while we piled out," said the bird-man with an amused grunt, shaking himself off. The bird-man's name was Fon. -As far as I'm concerned, she can handle this situation quickly and easily. What do you think of that, Dex? - said thoughtfully, the short man who looked like an elf-the only one who'd managed to get out of the stagecoach without falling. And now he was standing, rubbing the brass buttons on his cloak. -Why can't we handle a group of misfits? -The man in the small, purplish-red robe to whom the elf addressed spoke quickly. -I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. Riotous elves and druids can cause us quite a lot of trouble," said the bird-man cheerfully, as if to whet the young sorcerer's appetite. -But remember, sometimes druids can do terrible things to you, like my middle cousin on my uncle's side. One of the druids turned his testicles into acorns. - The speech didn't have much effect on anyone, and the team of heroes went to the protesters. -The half elf said, tucking his handkerchief into one of the inner pockets of his jacket. -Greetings brothers and sisters. Have you come to help us in our fight for the rights of poor animals? Understand, thousands upon thousands of innocent creatures are brutally slaughtered every day so that greedy creatures like our king can fill their bellies. As long as we eat meat, wars will continue. Become vegans and join us. - came out to the heroes one of the druids, on the side of which you could see a bunch of herbs, among which clearly visible hemp. -We have come to stop you. You are disturbing the peace and annoying the poor people," the magician said intelligently. The crowd fell silent. And only, somewhere from the royal dining room came a shout of rejoicing-"At last these fools have shut up. -So you don't feel sorry for the least of these? Well, then you're gonna pay for this. MASS CRASHING AND CANCELLATION! - exclaimed the crowd in unison. -No, not that. This could get me deported. My social ranking is barely afloat, and now I have to deal with this." pleaded the bird-man. -Friends, how can it be, you see, because of you he may be left without a job and he will have nothing to feed his family. His children may die- tried to object to the girl in rags, but her cries were not heard. -Get ready guys, now I will create a barrier, otherwise a crowd of soy elves will run us over. Thankfully we are not in the forest and through the city paving will not be able to sprout conspired soybeans and avocados. - shouted the mage to his allies and they grouped around him. Suddenly, a fierce shout came from the other end of the square, the ground shook and a huge pale orc headed towards the group. -Shaak, we're here! -shouted the surrounded friends in turn. -The head of the rebellion began to speak, waving a club in front of her, holding a propaganda banner in his other hand. Shaak snatched the stick from the druid and said: "If you and your company don't get out of here, I'm going to shove this stick up your ass, then I'm going to take it out through your mouth, fuck all the sheep you're protecting, and then every one of you, repeat it four times and make you eat it all, and you'll be like a cucumber. Do you understand me, bad man? - growled the orcish woman. -You... . you... left... me psychologically traumatized.- one of the protesters began to speak. -"I don't give a shit. I'm counting to six and if you don't leave, I'll fulfill my promise. That's all I know how to do. -One. -Guys, she's not gonna do it. - the pale elf babbled. -Two- - -Guys, why don't you say something? - Three-- -You're gonna regret this. We'll file a complaint against you. -Fuck it. Four-- -I'll make sure all of Mitter knows about you- -Five. -Guys, let's go! -the elf shouted and ran away. The square was noticeably quiet. Everyone was silent in their own thoughts. Only Dexter, whose young imagination was working too well, was left with a deep psychological trauma. -Well, guys, let's go eat. I could use some herb patties right now," Fon started to say, but he stopped himself. -"Let's go. -sharply wheezed Shaak, so that Lina, abruptly emerged from her image of a mysterious beggar. -Most likely the king will again send a letter of thanks, and I have nowhere to put them, even if the whole royal castle with them to cover. - -Great, said the bird-man. Last man standing pays for all of them. - -Good, but you can't fly, the company shrieked and raced to the tavern.