For the Amusement of a Sinful Soul

Osamu Dazai Without a doubt, Dazai is not the type of person who can open up to anyone. Moreover, he fears attachment, afraid to fall in love with someone so deeply only to lose them again. Therefore, as soon as he realized that your presence had become more of a necessity than a mere inconvenience, Osamu diligently tried to push you out of his mind. Dazai doesn’t want to feel that nasty, sticky feeling when someone becomes as essential as air. You, omnipresent, were literally everywhere, completely occupying his thoughts. Even in his dreams. Damn it, Osamu started seeing you every night! And these dreams were entirely different. In half of them, he lost you. You would leave, slipping away like sand through his fingers, obscured by a murky haze. He honestly tried to rid himself of thoughts of you! It didn’t work… So what is he like in a relationship? Osamu is a reserved person, always hiding behind masks, and he’s not in a hurry to open up to you either. In truth, he isn’t even trying. All his thoughts, burdening an already complicated existence, would only push you away, according to Dazai. And lack of sleep is harmful; if Osamu shared all his thoughts, you’d definitely get no sleep. However, the brunette loves approaching you from behind while you’re busy, hugging you as tightly as he can, and resting his chin on the top of your head. For Dazai, this is something like a manifestation of love and care. The thing is, he’s not a tactile person and generally dislikes physical contact. So, hugging you or allowing you to touch him partly indicates that you are part of a small “elite.” Dazai always keeps you close, never letting you out of his sight for a second. As he argues, it’s for your safety, but I think we all understand what Dazai is truly afraid of. Osamu is a romantic. City walks, roses given with or without occasion, moonlit nights. All of this is him. Although, for Osamu, such actions have become something utterly mundane and somewhat insignificant over the years, if it makes you happy or brings at least a fleeting smile, he’s willing to do it over and over again. Despite this, he loves “lazy” weekends. Want to just lie around together? Easy, he’s all for it! But be aware that waking him up for work can be challenging. Sometimes, this rascal grabs you by the wrist while you’re desperately trying to get his sleepy body out of bed. He pulls you close, giving you no chance to escape, then lazily lifts the corners of his lips, whispering something like: “Just a few more minutes, princess.” He nibbles on your earlobe, knowing full well that ears are your weak spot. It’s hard to resist, especially on days when you struggle to get out of bed and don’t feel like going anywhere. Sometimes, in the evenings, Dazai sits on the windowsill. His gaze during these moments is hazier and heavier than usual. It’s as if he’s staring into the void. And sometimes he utters short phrases or expresses thoughts that send shivers down your spine. In such cases, you approach him, settling between his legs and covering yourselves with a blanket. Osamu, in turn, wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tightly and resting his head on your shoulder. He buries his nose in your hair, runs his hands over your arms, particularly enjoying stroking your wrists, and massages each knuckle. Or he buries his nose in your neck, humming a simple melody. His pleasant, velvety voice with a slight rasp resonates with a subtle vibration, causing a gentle shiver throughout your body. Dazai is utterly hopeless in the kitchen. Seriously. It’s best not to let him near the stove; otherwise, you might end up with a situation akin to “enemies burning down the family home.” Therefore, you handle all the cooking, while he just sits nearby on a chair or, once again, wraps his arms around your waist from behind. How jealous is Dazai? Osamu is possessive. Mostly, he observes from a distance, casting discontented glances. But if some mortal dares to touch you, Dazai will immediately come up to you, seemingly casually, kiss your cheek or embrace you around the waist, while smirking at the corners of his lips, and his eyes will gleam like a predatory beast’s. He shows that you belong to him and only him. But not everything is as fairy-tale-like and wonderful as it might seem at first glance. Dazai is a skilled manipulator. He doesn’t shy away from using manipulation in relationships, and whether you accept it or not is up to you. Honestly, it’s unlikely he’ll stop. And will he ever let you go? I don’t think so. Chuya Nakahara Unlike Dazai, Chuya is more empathetic. Nakahara quickly becomes attached to people, which he scolds himself for. He understands that such attachment won’t end well; Chuya knows this from experience, but he can’t help it. He has trust issues and needs constant reminders that he’s important to you. Nakahara always feels like he’s in second place. He thinks he’s not needed, and all your praise feels like flattery or mockery. Chuya lacks self-confidence, though you wouldn’t know it from his appearance. Externally, Nakahara never shows his problems; he maintains a stoic demeanor and doesn’t admit how bad he feels. If he thinks you’re much better off with someone else, he’ll start distancing himself from you immediately. Chuya feels unworthy of you and believes he’s only ruining your life. He doesn’t quite understand your displays of care but tries his best. Nakahara is someone who doesn’t take compliments at face value; he’ll respond with sarcastic remarks and denial, but inside he’ll be bubbling. Chuya will be very pleased and at the same time, likely fall into a short stupor, wavering between thoughts like: “Is this about me?” “It’s just a joke,” “I don’t deserve this”—and many similar thoughts. Your presence is crucial to him. Chuya often seeks your advice on various matters, whether it’s a simple haircut or something more serious. Also, importantly, Nakahara, though not always in the best way, can offer support, but his words always encourage and help the most. Nakahara absolutely loves when you hug him; he’s willing to lie in your arms for a lifetime and often approaches you just to hug, but only with your permission, of course. Does he get jealous? As mentioned, Chuya feels unnecessary. If he gets the idea that you’d be better off without him, he’ll start distancing himself from you at breakneck speed, no matter how much it hurts him. You’re very dear to Chuya! And even though he’s not very romantic, he sincerely tries to be the best for you. Nakahara wonders if you value him as much as he values you. Often, he stays at work late and comes home when you’re already peacefully asleep. He quietly lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his nose in your neck as he falls asleep. He tries to keep you away from the mafia and anything related to its affairs. Chuya thinks this environment is unsuitable for you. It’s too dangerous, and he wouldn’t survive if something happened to you. Fyodor Dostoevsky Fyodor is an enigma. You still don’t quite understand him; it’s all too complex. Let’s say he captivates with his beauty and atmosphere: talented, mysterious, gallant. What especially charms you are his cold and piercing eyes, the color of red beryl. In those depths, one can get seriously lost, drowning in oblivion and false hopes. Dostoevsky is not particularly tactile, but sometimes he likes to sit you on his lap, stroke you, and run his fingers through your hair, humming something melodious. If you ask him what he likes most about you, he will answer without hesitation, “Your eyes.” Dostoevsky has often noted how they look under the moonlight. Sometimes he gazes at them, taking your chin in his hand, lifting your face slightly, and looking straight into your eyes with an indifferent, even somewhat contemplative expression. And if you blush, he will only smile faintly, perhaps giving you a delicate peck on the lips. His kisses are like touching sandpaper with your lips. His lips are just as rough. It’s no wonder, as he bites them almost to the point of bleeding. No matter how hard you try to wean him off this harmful habit, nothing helps. Dostoevsky is always busy. He’s either reading or working in his study, so he gives you his attention very rarely. He never has days off, and it’s very difficult to get him to go anywhere; he prefers staying at home with a cup of tea and an interesting book. If you want to spend time with him, he certainly won’t mind. Initially, Dostoevsky only used you for his own purposes, but when his rotten soul began to beat wildly in his chest at the sight of you, or his heart throbbed painfully, as if about to plummet, he decided he must be going mad. Fyodor was convinced he was no longer capable of feeling something like this, thinking that his soul was left with nothing but a mere name. And he understood perfectly well that it would lead to nothing good. The realization that you were needed for more than just executing a plan was painfully and laboriously grasped. Dostoevsky tried to lock these feelings away, hiding them in the deepest and darkest corner of his soul. It didn’t work… Surprisingly, Dostoevsky really likes kissing you. He especially enjoys doing it unexpectedly. It’s as if he tries to steal all the oxygen from your lungs, and even that is barely enough for him. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, he doesn’t let you leave the house without his company. It’s too dangerous. After all, he has many enemies. You are perfectly capable of defending yourself, but Fyodor thinks his protection will never be superfluous. As he himself says: “A protected person is safeguarded by God.” Strangely enough, he doesn’t seem to be jealous of anyone in particular. And even if there were someone, honestly speaking, with you walking down the street hand in hand with Fyodor, people are too afraid to even glance at you, let alone speak. Dostoevsky exudes a dark aura that seems to radiate death, as if he had somehow managed to grasp immortality somewhere. Even his charming smile doesn’t help the situation. Fyodor almost never talks about his past. You know little about it, but he seems to know you inside out, all your past, everything you love, and even your most hidden thoughts, as if he, like the most agile and cunning rat, can slip into your head and predict any action. This can be quite frightening. It’s as if you are in a moral cage, the key to which is securely hidden with Dostoevsky, and he will never, under any circumstances, give it up. It turns out you’ll have to just accept it, and if you want to leave, wait until you’re fed up. But, it’s unlikely that will happen; he will not let you go just like that. Nikolai Gogol Friendship or relationships are very burdensome for Gogol. He simply does not understand them; he doesn’t feel free. It’s as if he’s been locked in a cage. Feelings cause him a kind of dissonance, and he struggles so much to accept them that Kolya is ready to kill his only friend just to avoid that burdensome and nauseatingly pleasant warmth—what can we say about someone who has made a mark on his soul? You, damn it, are like a parasite, having rooted yourself there, practically moved in, and damn it, you just won’t be eradicated. Kolya is literally suffocating from the feelings that overwhelm him, choking his throat with a nauseating lump, tearing him apart. Your silly jokes. He can’t help but laugh at them, can’t help but admire you, your silky hair, your hands, your eyes, your smile. He wants to see you smile and, at the same time, see you cry, suffer, choking on your own tears, screaming in despair. How loudly can you scream? Gogol wants you to belong to him completely, without reservation. Such a bouquet of emotions. And where to put them all? He literally trembles from them, trying to get rid of them, suppress them, or at least temporarily calm them down. Kolya explodes when someone can hurt you and at the same time wants to do it himself. Perhaps, tied to a bed, you would look incredibly beautiful. How would a crimson rope suit you? You’d probably look damn attractive. That’s what Kolya thinks. He loves to give you silly nicknames, often calling you “little one,” knowing how much you dislike it, and it amuses him to provoke you. What is his true self? He doesn’t even know, having lost himself somewhere under a hundred masks. But on the other hand, isn’t that freedom? Not being bound by conventional rules, not adhering to emotional frameworks. Isn’t losing yourself a form of freedom? Gogol needs to touch you, to run his fingers along your neck, play with your hair, kiss you, no matter if you are in a crowded place. He loves holding your hand, hugging you, and feeling your scent. The latter, by the way, drives him crazy. Such a pleasant aroma, reminiscent of something distant. Something that remains there. Behind. Kolya compares it to a lullaby or the most naïve fairy tale, a dream he once had only once. You are a poison that slowly affects Kolya’s brain, killing the last cells. Is he incredibly lucky to have met you, or is it the opposite? Rampo Edogawa The great and unique detective, Rampo Edogawa! But does he really think of himself that way? Not at all. And you see that perfectly. Rampo is not as self-assured as he might seem at first glance. However, he truly values you and your presence in his life. At night, he’ll put on a movie, cover you both with a blanket, and of course, bring some candy. Even though he appears sweet and will strive to make you as comfortable as possible in the relationship, his playful nature can’t be overlooked. Sometimes, he acts like the Cheshire Cat, constantly snuggling up to you, clinging to your neck, leaving a red mark on your tender skin. Oh, how he loves that! Biting you on the ear, leaving hickeys wherever he can. He especially bites with a particular force where the hickeys will be clearly visible to others, as if to say that you belong to him. During these moments, it’s hard to stop him. If he's in a particularly good mood, he might even purr in your ear. He loves reading books, especially mysteries, and sometimes asks you to read for him, citing his own laziness. But in reality, Rampo wants to spend a little more time with you. He enjoys listening to you read and laugh at the silly parts of the book. Afterward, he’ll definitely want to discuss the book with you, listen to your theories and arguments. In these moments, he looks incredibly serious and listens to you very attentively. You are an interesting conversationalist. He absolutely loves listening to you sing, even if you’re off-key. He goes crazy for your touch, especially when you gently stroke his head while he’s comfortably settled on your lap. He will lean into your touch, grumbling if you suddenly stop. Sometimes he whispers things in your ear while you’re busy with your own tasks. Even though you’ve scolded him for it, as it’s quite distracting, Rampo isn’t deterred at all and only becomes more encouraged. He tries to support you in all your endeavors. He thinks you are very intelligent. He holds your hand during walks. Getting lost with you in the city is very interesting for him. Atsushi Nakajima Atsushi will be quite shy and hesitant. He takes many aspects of your relationship very seriously. Even a simple hand-holding walk will mean a lot to him. Nakajima is very gentle and pleasant to communicate with. If you get sick, he will definitely spend all his time with you, despite the risk of catching a cold himself. You’ll take care of him, won’t you? This cat-like guy blushes very easily, and it's quite easy to embarrass him. Just approach and peck him on the cheek or whisper something in his ear. You’ll mostly be the one to take the initiative in many things. He can invite you for a walk, but even if Atsushi wants something more, he will feel too shy to admit it. If you can’t sleep at night, he’ll sit with your head resting on his lap, gently stroking it until you fall asleep. Ryunosuke Akutagawa Even in a relationship, he will remain very detached. He doesn’t understand how he’s supposed to behave, but overall he’s fine with it. If you don’t like something, you can leave. Still, despite his aloofness, he seems to care about you. He is definitely not romantic. Don’t expect compliments from him, and don’t expect many walks together, except occasionally. Akutagawa is a fan of staying in, and it’s during these times that he might hug you or kiss you on the top of your head. Such moments are rare, making them very precious. It is possible to embarrass him, but he will try to hide his embarrassment. He might grumble at you, covering his face as if nothing happened. He is used to handling his problems on his own and is unlikely to tell you about them. However, he can listen to your problems and will probably just smirk and give you some advice. He will never admit that he enjoys watching you, and while you sleep, he’ll kiss you on the forehead. No matter what, he won’t say it.