[ F.X.D.] Sketches on the Discworld universe. Pratchett Terry "Discworld". Overlord. (crossover).

Part sixteen. - SOMEONE SAID THAT CHILDREN ARE THE FLOWERS OF LIFE. - But sometimes it seems that it would be better if they grew in another garden?... Part one. The burden of responsibility in the form of a small toddler was dropped onto bony shoulders. More precisely, at the moment when they already wanted to dump this burden of responsibility on him, he did not resist, was not against it and stood still, waited... And when they were already trying to dump it, he pushed away everyone who tried to do it and took it on himself take this “responsibility” on your shoulders. Now he has a little girl in his arms, a hungry little girl... This skeleton did not live in peace, the pelvic bone kept looking for adventure and found it. Well, okay, he saved this child, brought him into his house, but what will he feed him? It is unlikely that Albert had a wife or children... But what am I talking about? The book specifically says that wizards have "no, no." What kind of insanity is in my head? But, I sincerely hope that these two will not kill this child with the help of reactive eggs... I am not an expert, but someone explain to Death what to feed the child. Preferably, hint at the topic of dairy products! Death put the pan of milk on the stove and turned on the fire. Ah... So somewhere he found out what children are fed. (The narrator hit himself on the forehead with the Terry Pratchett book.) In fact, he could calmly put this angry bundle of misfortune... Well, somewhere! But it seems I haven't found a suitable place. The hungry child squealed and kicked the poor skeleton's ribs. Yes, I just destroyed the ideal image of Death - the reaper and fourth horseman of the apocalypse. The only thing that Death could predict was the ideal temperature of the milk so that the little child would not get burned. Oh, to do this even without skin (Uh - huh...)... Oh, “we” forgot about the pacifier and bottle, right? A glass and spoon to the rescue! Get out as best you can, honey! Death sat down at the table and put a glass on it. Milk in a glass with a spoon may have looked like a strange composition of modern art to ordinary people. But, for me personally, in my opinion, this “glass of liquid” is more like diluted smecta. The child dangled his legs and flatly refused to drink milk this way. She expressed her protest in a rude manner, spitting milk at Death like a fountain. Who had difficulty dodging her splashes of indignation. Well, yes. Well, yes... Try to dodge the one who is in your hands... Fortunately, Death is a patient creature... Or perhaps he was thinking deeply (Yes, he “thought”, not “felt.”) on the topic of parental instinct. (There is no certainty that he is aware of the existence of such a thing. But the narrator’s insanity is getting stronger. Be strong! It will only get worse!) Children and kittens have a peculiarity in the structure of the skull, a large forehead, large eyes and a small jaw. When people see such a cute pug, they automatically have a desire to take care of him or at least not to offend him. (But, not a fact.) I don’t know how all this relates to a skeleton that has lived for millions of years without glands, a brain and everything like that... The child eventually puffed out his cheeks and began to cooperate. The milk disappeared from the spoon accompanied by a squelching sound. Otherwise... Hunger is not an aunt, but an evil uncle. (We are not talking about the personification, and God knows which one, of the horseman of the apocalypse.) And let the readers spoon - feeding a baby with milk remain a form of everyday perversion. Although, what kind of perversion is this? An ordinary everyday life... Two minutes later, they both realized that now they were only mocking each other. Therefore, having thrown the child off to Albert (Readers are already feeling in their ass that this is a bad idea...) and giving him the task: Keep an eye on the child and not feed him his “specialty dish.” In general, Death galloped for a pacifier and everything else that could be useful...