On the observation of evil and the escapism of oneiromancy

Who are you? I didn't call you!

From these internets of yours.

On the fourth day, when the festivities had died down, Sandy, who was painting the shutters and window frames with oily brown paint... — Neighbor! You're not watching the house! Evona, the windows are glazed! We'll inform the mayor's office, they'll fine you! — I was absent, so, idite v zhopu so svoey meriey. — Eh? — I'll touch up, I say! I'll do it later in the evening! Pizda gluhaia… ...saw a trio of Six. Two were walking down the street, looking at Sandy, the third was fluttering like a drunken moth, demonstrating some steps from the pegasus sex gymnastics. Light Sand considered herself not the stupidest pony. She rearranged the bucket, dipped her brush in it and went home to drink some water. There was shouting outside, but she wasn't listening. «So... nothing? Nothing! Do I keep something? No. Oh, hay fever! The bucket! Oh, I don't remember where I hit it! The main thing is... not to be nervous?» — Sandy stopped in front of the buffet in disbelief. I poured water directly from the tap, took out the pills. She helped herself to open the tin box with her teeth. I thought for a couple of seconds and bit off half of the pill, just along the line. Chewed and washed down. Numb to the scratched palate. Twilight Sparkle (Princess Twilight Sparkle!) she was just about to knock when Sandy casually opened the door. — Good afternoon... and who are you visiting? Oh, I didn't find out, Your Highness… — Nothing, nothing, I'm not used to it myself yet.… Are you the Light Sand? — I was there yesterday, — Sandy noted, as a haze appeared in her eyes, and panic was replaced by cold. It worked. — Okay, you have to help us. You know everything around, don't you? — The «Twilight Horn» has become more frequent. — I think it won't take much time, three days at most... it's decided! Let's go quickly! — Excuse me? — Sandy moved a little, thrusting a kerchief, covered in drops of paint and sweaty, into the magical glow of the «princess». An old stocking worn under a boot for the hind legs would be better, but could already be interpreted as an insult to the Crown. Accompanying Princess Sparkle by dangling herself in the air, a pegasus of unnatural blue color and with a mane and tail «tear out the eye» giggled barely noticeably, and a straw-colored earth pony in a stupid hat and a blade of grass in the corner of her mouth was clearly thinking about something. About unfamiliar measures to neutralize magical coercion? — Oh! — Twilight did not know where to put the rag, which was in a magical grip instead of the planned pony, and held it with telekinesis, looking around. — I was just told that you are an archaeologist and can help me… — How does a simple pony know that your Highness has a national affair? And who said anything about me being slandered by three saddlebags? — Light Sand smiled coldly and stood aside. — Please go inside, princess, and we’ll talk about whether you were sent there at all. I’ll just remove the paint to keep it dry. Servants can wait outside. — Hey! We are not servants! — The pegasus, who did not bother to land, became enraged. Sandy didn’t notice. She just popped the wire shaft of the bucket jar and caught it in her mouth. Like, yeah, but my mouth is busy (and not what you usually have, shit flying!) and I can not answer. Pegasus was clearly of «clean». Once again hooves on the ground does not stain, insolent, and color as if not the answer tired of jokes with degrees of kinship heredity. A little more and there would have been some underdeveloped wings. Or vice versa, huge with a general puny body. — These are my friends, — The new princess hastened to explain. I was too hasty for a real princess. Sandy nodded with a bucket in her mouth, forcing Twilight Sparkle to step back, and carefully took the scarf still hanging in the air among the glow and ephemeral sequins with her front hoof.

***

— Sit down, — Invited the ponies from the pantry, where they put the bucket under the bottom shelf. — Will you have tea? This is not an insult, but a «lice check». You have to be quite a noble family to easily invite almost any Canterlot unicorn and not run into a squeamish and perfectly polite response. Aristocrats don't just climb into shacks. She went, so either she was not an aristocrat, or she recognized the person who invited her as her equal. Sandy has briefly studied these problems, but the new princess, it seems, has not yet. The pegasus landed on a stool immediately, the earth pony looked around. — Wash the hooves there, — Sandy added another «piece of manure». Firstly, she informed the accompanying person not through the princess, but directly. And this is done only «in the absence» of a Very Important Person. Secondly, she did not offer ablution to the crowned person, but sent everyone en masse to the bathroom. Were there no etiquette lessons at school? Or did no one want to work out the situation of a «Princess visiting your house» with the «guests»? Well, if the school is completely rural or you are an outcast in class… Ah, there is also a «third»! She «washed the pegasus with slops», which, like, always has clean paws. She doesn't touch the dirty earth! And she probably wipes her ass exclusively with a piece of enchanted cloud put on the tips of her feathers! «So, you need to be careful with these pills!» — Sandy came to her senses. The drugs have transformed despair, the feeling of getting dirty and the urge to self-destruct into something dashing and stupid. Twilight, in contrast to the accompanying earth pony, «test» failed. And there was nothing for her to fail. Sandy did not buy bread in connection with these baked spectacles, so she took a stranger's knife out of the drawer and scattered the wheat baguette, which had begun to harden, in circles, choosing a suitable edge. Threw it in the pan. The earth pony glanced at the knife, but said nothing. — So? — Sandy asked, not looking up from toasting toast and warmly remembering the tiny apartment in Manehattan, where there was a toaster, a ceiling fan, and even warm water from a gas boiler. Another wrong situation. The princess is the mistress of any house in Equestria, you can only call Her Highness from the stove if you explicitly want to communicate «without ranks». The kettle whistled. Sandy cut off the kerosene supply to the wicks and clicked the latch, extinguishing the flame. The young alicorn and the pegasus winced at the pungently smelling haze. Therefore, they are not familiar with the way of life of earth ponies. Well, not everyone has a crystal stove or even an electric one! And some people probably only know about the stove that it is somewhere in the house. — You see, — Twilight Sparkle crunched her toast and jam with such bewilderment, as if the food had been created by some evil zebra witchcraft, and not the only correct unicorn magic, — Princess Celestia sent us... Nahuy? I chtoby ne shli obratno? It's not surprising. ...to find out what is the cause of the strange magical outbursts somewhere in the Badlands. Usually such things happen in different ruins where prehistoric magic remains. Well, or some kind of bad pony... more often, after all, it's not a pony at all... well, he wants to do something nasty... — In the center. Times of Strife. A destroyed fortress, but it's hard to say whose, — Sandy interrupted the princess herself. — They say everything is covered with sand, only the foundation is visible. But I haven't reached it yet. It requires specific equipment and, possibly, a team. — Yes! I'm sure it's there! You must accompany us! — Princess, I wasn't there, — Sandy smiled sadly. — I've been about twenty miles from the North Gate so far. — Ha! Yes, it's a half-hour flight! — the blue and winged one got in, almost dropping the toast. — My flight, of course! — Badlands is, like, about two hundred miles in diameter. — One hundred and ninety-one, — The «princess» corrected. — If you do not take into account the deviation of the shape of the border from the round one. — And where are the ruins in this circle? — Sandy asked, already knowing what the answer would be. — In the center, it's obvious! — Twilight Sparkle didn't seem to think that even an error of one tenth of the width of that wasteland would give a circle nineteen miles in diameter. Go look for it! There is only hope for aerial reconnaissance. Light Sand was a pretty smart pony and didn't say anything about the motto «Stupidity and courage!» She sighed and began to enumerate: — Intelligence. Providing shelter for the night among all sorts of Celestia-cursed animals with such venomous mandibles. Water supply. — Oh, I could conjure water back in my second year at the School for Gifted Unicorns! — Twilight grinned at pegasus's triumphant shout of approval. — Yes, the air isn't exactly dry there, — Sandy agreed. — If you, Princess, go there with half a dozen ponies, then there will be enough water for three days, with its economical use. Then you will «squeeze» the dried air with magic or wait for the wind. It is not a fact that the wind will be with moisture. After a while, your magic will run out. Especially if there are deposits of other, black sand under the sand. Do you know how many such smart guys there were? One. Unicorn Strange Fossil. He died of thirst and heat stroke on the background of magical exhaustion during the Reunion. After him, archaeologists do not go to the next croup of the world alone. — Ha! Just bring the clouds, that’s it! — The princess’s girlfriend’s parrot flower came in. — They do that sometimes, but mostly to protect themselves from the sun, — Sandy nodded. — Again, for a unicorn, this is not exactly a profile skill, and a team of pegasus not from the Guard or Legion on an expedition will turn the excavation into a farce of debauchery. Yes, and drive the clouds to such a distance… — What did you say about the carnival?! — Rainbow was already thrown up, as if she hadn't been with anyone for a year. — Dash, calm down, — Princess Sparkle pinned pegasus to the stool with magic. — I hate to say this, but she's right. Sometimes it happens. — Very rarely! Let her admit that it is very rare! — Very rarely, — Sandy said truthfully. Well, archaeological expeditions themselves are very infrequent... Rainbow Dash, and it was exactly her, grumbled that it was all cowardly nonsense, and in general, Daring Do goes everywhere alone, but calmed down. And Sandy continued: — Well, the team is assembled, the transport has been found, and the tools and equipment fit where they should, and not bulge out of the gates of the port warehouse. Then the most important thing is… — What if we don't find anything? — Twilight smiled. — No. What if we find it? For example, Your Highness, you still have not said what you are going to open, and whether they will force us to bury everything back by letter from Canterlot. «Yeah, with me...» — Um... I'm not sure I can say this, it's a secret, but it can all be easier! — Twilight had clearly come up with one of those thoughts that only an autistic alicorn could think of, who valued other people’s lives no more than insects, as this strange squirrel-dog would say. — I'll tell you what we want to check, you can help us with grades and tips, and then I'll administer a light oblivion spell. Sandy was expressively silent. — It's perfectly safe, it's pretty simple for a magician of my level! — Twilight «calmed down». — Well, I'm ready to believe your Highness, but I'd like to see for myself that everything works as it should, otherwise I might forget something important, for example, to take my medicine on time, — Sandy looked at the princess pleadingly. — Maybe your friends will agree to the experiment? — Oh! Sugar, are you crazy?! — The yellow earth pony, which had been silent until now, twitched, addressing it is unclear to whom. — Well, don't get in my head! I find out what happened — the end of all friendship! I'm serious! The Apples will not rust with an article for insulting their highnesses with an action! The special magic of dentists will be needed at once! — It is not dangerous! Well, forget a couple of minutes! You will not remember it anyway, most likely! — Twi, can you put this on yourself? — Dash made some vague gesture with her front foot and dumped a spoonful of brown apple and plum jam on another piece of toast as an example. — Well, to show us that everything is in order… — No, but how... what if I forget something important? And no one else has cast it on themselves... and if I forget the continuation of the spell and it erases something wrong? Oh... — Twilight Sparkle stared glassy-eyed at Sandy, not noticing that she was raising her wings in fright. — I'm sorry… It seems that she tore down something at the front door, got tangled in the simplest unlocked lock and teleported away, causing a local mayhem with a pressure drop. — Uh-uh… We'll go, I think, — Rainbow Dash said in confusion, getting up from the stool, and not taking off with a jump using only the tips of her wings and the muscles of her ass. — Sorry, sugar. The princess used to get carried away no less than my brother after a couple of jugs of strong cider, — The yellow pony with apples on the tag sighed. — But to her credit, she hasn't killed anyone yet. — Did she just disfigure? — Sandy winked. — You know, when I want to forget something, I'll probably apply officially. With the registration of the letter and other hay. So that later, when I have to tear the wool on the croup, at least I can remember where this croup is located, and what exactly I thought it was, deciding on such a thing. Pony chuckled. And belatedly introduced herself. — Applejack is my name. From the Apples. — That's an interesting name, — Sandy smiled, escorting her guest to the doors that pegasus had already opened. — Simple but poetic, almost like the Radiance of the Moon... — Nothing like that! A name like a name! — The earth pony frowned and put on her hat. — And anyway, I was chatting with you! You'll have to find out for yourself what name someone has there! Tea, they'll find everything in the library for you in a bit or two! Well, not much, but a dozen per bottle… Hay! The earth pony rushed out the door to catch up with the princess. «Are apples fermented? — Sandy muttered something about natural fruit preservation as she closed the door. — Or am I driving? No, someone else is clearly driving». She was shaking. That half is over. They wanted to erase her memory… May the sclerosis overcome you there. And a lot of thrombosis. Sandy walked shakily to the buffet. A tin can. The other half. Teeth clattered on the edge of a cup of cold tea. Should I heat myself up some more? A warm sunset beat against the window. Minotaur cock with these windows, she’ll finish it tomorrow! So, get ready, Light Sand! Otherwise, the bread shop will be closed again on a drunken bench! And their bakery is already loaded in the morning, there's only dough! Sandy put on her hooves. Stepping on the sharp edges of a cracked jug from under something intoxicating did not smile. She hung an «amulet» around her neck. The steel is strange, as if the earth pony was forging, and the unicorn was enchanting at his direction. Good steel. The bakery shop was open, but everyone must have been eating different rolls with sugar pretzels today, and the bread was yesterday's. — Give me your round one, — Sandy said. — And a baguette. — The baguette has already dried up, take this, — Strangely, the bakery was owned not by an earth pony, but by a unicorn. — I think you'll like it, Miss Sand. The bread was in the shape of a brick or keystone. It narrowed downwards. It smelled strange: rye, something like wildflowers and dust. And steam from a steam locomotive with a carbon monoxide note. The bread smelled of the past, which did not exist. — Thank you, Mr. Pound. How much is it for me? — One round, — Ry Pound smiled. — One, I said! This is for you to try, you are interested in all sorts of ancient junk, you should appreciate it. The recipe, I think, was even before the Sisters… Probably, it seemed to someone drunk. With so much cider, it won't even seem like it! It was also hot. Right, a drunken vision! So the earth pony is coming. On her hind legs. The accumulators on the front are tied with laces and dangle around the neck. Pony hoof pinches a piece of rye bread from a healthy briquette and puts it in her mouth. And she cries with a smile.