On the observation of evil and the escapism of oneiromancy

I don't like lying on my back,

Let them bury me in a ball!

A. Mashnin, «The Sun»

— So what should I do there? — To begin with, look around, — Sergey Petrovich frowned with displeasure. — And don't run ahead of the engine into hell. Have you watched cartoons? — I looked at it. — And how? — I'm not a junior high school student, I didn't get it. — It didn't go well for him! — Petrovich pretended to be angry. — Just so you know, grown men are watching this shit! Older than you! — Pot-bellied onanists with problematic skin living with their parents? Well, maybe it made sense to put them in a capsule? Find at least someone with a similar injury to intracranial cartilage, and go ahead! And let them say «chick-chick» to that horse, since they've wanted it all their lives. I'm standing there as a witness from Fryazino, and I don't understand anything. And naked, too! — Who is there to shove and have, people thought smarter than you and me, — The «secret chief» became serious, — And here's another task for you: go to some forum on these horses and read what you can there. Don't register unnecessarily, just read it. Then tell me what your opinion is. — So I've already… And I just expressed my opinion, — Belkin grinned. — Well, well… Then mentally describe the actions of such a «hero» when meeting with an aborigine. By the way, — Sergey Petrovich shook his head strangely, as if he remembered something, — Call them «ponies». — Yes, at least how. I am interested in my task. — Where are you in a hurry? — I'm in a hurry to get the job done and get the promised buns before I get stuck here with you. — Don't be afraid. And your job is to understand how long their world has existed in the understanding of the locals, how it is connected with us, and what is happening there in general. Pay attention to significant events. Communicate with someone there as little as possible, try not to eat or drink anything. If you come across a planned national party, war or some other entertainment event, let us know right away. — And so I'm going to dive into glitches all my vacation? — As it goes. We planned to work out a couple of «dives». Training and «combat», for a week or two. But there may be difficulties there. — You know, it seems to me that you are not telling me something about that «shimmering world». What is there that requires not an infiltrator, not a contactee, but some kind of ninja with dumbbells on an elastic band? — There is a fear that the formation of this, damn, Equestria did not go exactly according to the cartoon. Rather, the opposite is true. — So what? Let this Faust have a headache about it, — The «psychonaut» shrugged his shoulders. — You know, we have another suspicion, for example, that you might well run in there to visit not those guys whom Lauren Faust painted for us, but others, — Petrovich sighed, — Whom Howard Lovecraft invented.

***

The first task was to draw yourself. At least approximately. — That's about it, — Valentine said, putting down his pencil. I myself thought that for such creativity they could be sent to a mental hospital, and quite rightly so. — Are the proportions of the limbs human? Any strange feelings? — Not quite human, but there are no difficulties with them. It is a little cold and ticklish when the wind blows the woolen cover. — Okay, — The strange man put the piece of paper in a cardboard folder with ties. — Do you see the box? Put it on the table. An ordinary wooden box, splintery even through a generous layer of green paint. Empty. — And what should I do? — To study. Look at how the box is arranged, touch it, remember the font. Then you will disassemble and assemble this box, we will give you the tools. — Whatever you say. But why? — Valentin opened and closed the lid, noting that the brackets for a possible lock or seal were nailed unevenly. — If it works out, we'll throw you something there. — Into a narcotic dream? Is there something I don't know about our familiar reality? — No one knows everything. And the «casting» takes place by an unobtrusive request to find a familiar object next to you. But for some reason, the item must be in some recognizable packaging. Paper, a wooden box, and something else, — Valentine's interlocutor grinned. — No plastic or polyethylene, no suitcases with combination locks. Nothing electronic. — Why? Secrets? — It does not manifest there. It just doesn't show up. You won't find it. — And what's in the drawer? — And there are already possible options... But usually similar stuff happens.

***

It was a severely curtailed course for a young fighter. Warm-up, various exercises. Then they began to teach dodging. Dodge a blow with your hand, foot, hollow plastic stick, from a rope with knots. They haven't taught you how to hit back yet. Then they dragged some kind of structure on one wheel. Like a wheelbarrow frame. The coach quite deftly «ran over» Valentine with this thing, trying to touch either a ball attached in front with a «horn» sticking out of it (Valentine constantly wanted to say something about a dildo) or «legs», pulling down the handles of this car for perverts. Now it was necessary not only to dodge, but also to hit back. — Use your feet! — The coach was saying. — You only hit the ball with your hand! — I'm working, — Belkin puffed. — Work harder! A blow with the whole body, like breaking a stick! Valentine broke a lot of sticks, usually placed against the wall. I kicked my feet through my sneakers a couple of times. I tried. The rest was even more surreal, you had to grab those felt-shod «legs» and push the wheelbarrow, trying to knock it sideways. The coach was in the way. Apparently, they were satisfied with Valentine, since they decided that it was time to take him somewhere. And they took them to some wasteland with the remains of an unfinished building and a whole mountain of clay turned out, it is not known when. They worked with a bulldozer, judging by the shape of this pile. The insensitive coach drove Belkin to collapse from fatigue. He always spoke evenly, repeated the explanations. Valentin, now running up a clay hill, then galloping over concrete blocks (really galloping, on all fours, wearing thick gloves and with his wrists wrapped up!) I didn't know what the coach said about him. And he said that everyone would be like that. Well, attentiveness and diligence are almost mandatory qualities for a programmer, but the ability to jump a fence by running up a wall is somehow not required to master the concepts of functional programming.

***

There were no more dives into the world of dreams, but I had to swallow some pills almost every day. Valentin recognized some, like succinic acid. Autumn was ending. The tedious November rains charged, turning the gold of the fallen leaves into a brown slippery mass. The training has also changed. Now they were taking place in the evening. Randomly placed strangers illuminated the area with lanterns. Some every ten seconds, some less often. It was possible to shine for a second or two. If you want, use diffused light, if you want, focus the flashlight on a narrow beam. From the outside, it seemed ridiculous: some guy in brown camouflage (matching the color of the surrounding autumn shit) was running around, all in sensors and with a camera on a construction helmet, and trying to dodge the light. Some kind of suspicion began to grow in the head of the running Belkin, like a tumor at one time. It was too much like a hunting trip. Then the paintball started. A forest, a building, some kind of ditches… The newly acquired parkour skills were supposed to help dodge the paintballs. Horseradish was there, they got there quite often. Then Valentin started shooting back. It's funny that all the markers were necessarily manually recharged. The only semi-automatic stood on the frame of a baby stroller. They didn't give me time to consolidate my skills, as if they were in a hurry. All this industrial-apocalyptic tourism ended with the shooting of a twelve-caliber «Saiga». According to the usual plywood boards.

***

— What now? — Valentine asked. Sergei Petrovich shook his head. — You're too quick... — How they taught me, — The «psychonaut» did not specify who, where and when he taught, let them decide for themselves. The car was «creeping fast» through the slush, it looks like the tires haven't been changed yet. Yellow-green strips of fields flashed by, the grass in its style did not want to turn yellow until winter. Something was plowed open, but it seemed not black, but sad gray. The snow was white on the roadsides. And the crows, of course. — Keep in mind, we'll start putting you in a capsule for a day soon. — My vacation is already over. — That's the last thing you should worry about, — Petrovich grimaced again, — They'll come to an agreement with your work. By the way, did you get the money? — I got it, — Valentin nodded, remembering that something had come to the card there. Not to say that it's a lot, but it's enough for a month of life. — So, then it's planned to fuck you up for a long time. Maybe up to a week. By this time, you will have to work out ways to wake up in an emergency. — Which ones, if it's not a secret? — It's no secret, — Sergey Petrovich flashed his glasses. — First of all, try to kill yourself there.

***

Bitch! That's fucking easy! They put a punch on a suspended pig carcass. The knife, by the way, is interesting. The blade is symmetrical, almost triangular in shape, and short. On one side there is a small sawtooth sharpening on the front third of the blade, and on the other — on the back. The «smooth» areas are sharpened by a shallow and wide «wave». There are practically no valleys. There is no tooth separation, like on a bread knife. The handle tapers to the heel, very simple and embossed, made of stupid plastic. There is an engraving on the blade: «Mako». The knife is so simple, clear and unusual that I was not surprised when I found it in the drawer. You show up, look at your hands, lick your lips... nothing new. You go in a spiral from the point of appearance. You're looking for this box. It usually sticks out at an angle from the sand. The box is sealed. No, let's put all the dots on the «e» right away, no one can put anything into narcotic nonsense. They tell me before diving what will be in the box. They show how the object is placed. And I am already «extinguished» by this point. And now I'm standing like a naked fool in the middle of the sands, holding this knife. How is it supposed to be? A sharp blow to the neck or to the heart? It's kind of weird for me. I was spurred on by the feeling that there was someone behind the nearest dune. This someone crunched the local desert deadwood. He didn't call out, didn't show up. I waited, with such a sneaky interest, which is so naturally understood in a dream. And I can't make contact yet. Then my new sensitive ears caught some kind of speech, a short command phrase in an incomprehensible language. And I didn't wait. I hit badly, cut my windpipe and choked on blood.

***

— Quiet, quiet! Just breathe! Don't say anything! Valentin was twitching in the capsule, trying to grab his throat. They restrained, pulled out the needles and sealed the punctures with a special plaster. — I'm there! There! — Belkin was breathing jerkily. — You're here, you idiot! Well, I've damaged a vein, now the bruise will be like a drug addict's! Get up, come on! I washed off the viscous liquid (tore the film while the sausage was cooking) and dressed in a stupor. The bleeding was stopped immediately, but the bruise under the skin was notable, the whole elbow was some kind of blue-green, waterproof patch stood out like a barge in the sea, a view from above. He automatically put a plastic jar of pills in his jacket pocket. Something sedative. As many as three pieces, judging by the sound. Or four. «Fasten it», — They told him. The second time I zipped up my pocket so that the medicine wouldn't fall out. The night flashed with lanterns. I was a little seasick in the backseat of the car. I went straight to bed at home after eating one pill. It seemed to Valentin that in his entire life before his illness he had not eaten as many medicines as in the last two or three weeks. I slept like a log. I went to work in the morning. The frightened boss hesitated and told Belkin to take the job home and leave. I didn't have to take it, everything was on the servers. I watered the aloe. Someone especially smart started a rumor that now computers with flat screens, and harmful radiation are different, cacti do not help. Aloe is necessary. The aunts from the accounting department presented the plant, taking everything seriously. Valentin did not dissuade them. To teach fools is to spoil them even more. And it is forgivable for ladies who understand expenses, receipts and various invoices, not to understand the concepts of modern natural science very well. For them, this magic is worse than friendship. I went to the store on the way. He stood and stared at the shelves. He rejected a bottle of cognac, took some sweet soda and a chicken without a head, legs and insides. At home, I chopped up the bird at the joints, put it in the oven. Spices, oil, salt, everything… «We should ask for that knife», — Valentin decided. The knife was good when it wasn't about slicing bread, but about dismemberment. Really good, he tested it on himself.