You are really here

A torrential, icy rain was falling over the capital of Li once again, this time accompanied by a menacing-sounding thunder that tore through the silence of the night. The strong wind broke off a few thin twigs from the trees. And after an especially loud burst of thunder, one of the two figures who were sleeping on the narrow bed in the dark room of a certain young lord's lady-in-waiting, started to stir a bit and finally let out a quiet groan, displeased by such an abrupt and rude awakening. Slowly cracking open his sleepy eyes, Jinshi merely stared into the darkness, slightly confused and disoriented, and then closed them again, probably intending to fall asleep once more. There was a soothing, familiar smell hanging in the air, and it made his lips curve into a little smile. It was the scent of herbs that always reminded him of Maomao, so intense, as if he was lying in the middle of a herb garden. Wait a minute! Jinshi's eyes opened again on the spot. That was right! He remembered now that he was in Maomao's room, so it was neither an imagination nor a dream: he really was surrounded by herbs. And not only was he in her room, but even in her bed. And when a little whiff of Maomao's cold remedy reached his nose as well and made him grimace a bit, he also recalled the reason why he was in her bed in the first place. All his sleepiness vanished in an instant. "Maomao!" Jinshi thought, slightly alarmed, and lowered his gaze, but then breathed out in relief when he noticed that she was still there, next to him and in the same position as before: curled up a bit with her back turned to him and sound asleep. His right arm was wrapped around her waist, and her head now resting on his left one, as if it was her pillow. Without thinking twice and almost as if it were a reflex, he raised his right hand and placed it on her forehead. "Her fever has subsided a bit... phew, I'm so glad. I was so scared yesterday," he thought. An ice-cold shiver ran down his entire body while he remembered how he had found her the previous evening, lying unconsciously on the floor, and then walked to and fro in her room, holding her in his arms and begging her to open her eyes. Luckily, she had ended up answering his pleas, because otherwise... ...he didn't even want to imagine what would have happened. Something more terrifying than every nightmare in the world. That horrible thought made him freeze from fear for a moment and then start to tremble. "I very much hope the worst part is over now..." He removed his hand from Maomao's forehead and stuck it back under the blanket, putting it on the apothecary's small shoulder. That was the moment he realized that they were both covered by not one, but two blankets. "Suiren was here," Jinshi thought. He was sincerely grateful for the additional blanket, because it had gotten noticeably cool in Maomao's room after nightfall. His left foot that was almost hanging out from the bed due to lack of space, was certainly freezing. He tried to get it under the blankets the best he could. Next, his gaze returned to the sleeping apothecary. Jinshi carefully pulled his arm from under her head in order to hug her once again. "I didn't know that a servant’s room could get that chilly at night." Of course not, why would he? After all, that was the first time in his life of him sleeping in such a room. "Why didn't she tell me?" Jinshi frowned as that thought crossed his mind. "I would have given her a brazier or another blanket right away. It would have been no problem at all." He puffed up his cheeks in slight irritation and pressed his chin against her head, poking her cheek with his index finger. Very lightly, in order to not wake her up. "You! Yes, you! Why do you never tell me anything? I did ask you to speak up if something should not be to your liking, didn't I? Yes, I did, multiple times even. So why don't you? Don't tell me it's because I didn't allow you to move into the stables... Jeez..." The thought that she would have spent the night in her condition all alone in that cold if he hadn't lain down next to her, made him feel nauseous. His look was clouded by sadness. "But on the other hand... I should have somehow realized it myself, huh? After all, it's almost winter, and I'm her direct employer now, in other words, responsible for her. I wished I was as attentive as Gaoshun..." And the feeling of guilt was promptly back once more. Damn... The young lord had no clue what to think, hence he just shook his head and made a mental note to take care of the issue later and ensure that Maomao's wouldn't be cold anymore in the winter. Speaking of cold... Only now did Jinshi fully realize just how much Maomao was still shivering. What an idiot he was... and this after having lain down into her bed in order to watch over her and keep her warm... But now wasn't the right time for reproaches. Jinshi heaved a quiet sigh. "You're still cold, aren't you?" he muttered and let go of the apothecary in order to pull his sleeping robe apart and expose his chest. Then he carefully turned Maomao around to face him and pressed her tightly against his bare skin. "Come here. You need warmth." Then he covered her up to her chin once again, put his arm under the blankets and started to gently caress her back to calm her down and to make sure that the movements didn't wake her up. "Shhh, Maomao. Everything will be alright..." He noticed with a little smile that her trembling was becoming weaker and that she had relaxed her small fists that were pressed against his chest now. "Hah, she's so cute..." Very soon, however, that smile of his was darkened by a shadow until it disappeared for good. A thought, as bitter as Maomao's cold remedy, made its way through the young lord's mind. “As an apothecary, you have taken care of countless sick people, I assume,” he said quietly and dedicated a brief, sorrowful gaze to the petite young woman, who was currently sleeping helplessly in his arms. “And you have also helped so many here, at the Imperial Palace. Including me.” He held her a bit closer. “But… who’s going to take care of you? I mean, Suiren does everything she can, but you even had to prepare your own medicine by yourself, right? I'm sure you already had a feeling the evening before yesterday that you'd probably fall ill very soon and thus, prepared everything in advance... even though you assured me that you were fine..." He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then he opened them again. His gaze was now filled with determination, almost similar to the moment when he had announced that he would stay in her room that night. "Who's going to take care of you? Isn't that obvious? Me, of course. I'm neither a doctor nor an apothecary, so there's only so much I can do for you, but... I'll try! I'll absolutely try! I will give you everything I can!" And, as if to seal that promise, he kissed her feverish forehead. "Yes, exactly! I'll be there for you, whether you want it or not, you stubborn little thing! You brought that on yourself by not telling me how bad you were feeling. You won't fall again, because I will be there to catch you!" With all these thoughts in his head, he closed his eyes again and just kept lying in Maomao's bed, pressing his lips to her forehead and feeling her breath that was slightly tickling his skin. Said feeling reminded him of the times she had listened to his lungs when he had been sick himself, in order to determine whether he had caught pneumonia. Maomao had been coughing before falling asleep, so maybe he should... Jinshi immediately opened his eyes and blushed furiously, covering his face with one of his hands. He was actually so red that he was almost glowing in the dark. No way! What was he even thinking?! The mere idea of him pressing his ear against her exposed upper body was completely... absurd! He had no medical knowledge and didn't even know what kind of sounds to look out for in the first place! Not to mention that Maomao would surely crack his skull open with the broom she used to sweep his residence, if she should ever find out or wake up during the process. Or rip him into shreds with her own two hands. Or both. And even though he quite enjoyed her glares, he naturally didn't want her to hate him for real. His heart was pounding like crazy. The apothecary twitched a few times in his embrace, as if she had instinctively sensed his thoughts in her sleep. "Don't worry, I won't do anything of that sort, of course," he whispered to her and started to lovingly rub her back once again while burying his nose in her slightly disheveled hair and inhaling her scent, in order to soothe her and also himself. After a while, Maomao let out a little sigh and relaxed her body again. Jinshi was glad that his attempt to calm her had been successful. “After your recovery, I’ll give you another bottle of that wine I offered you last time. Judging by how fast you drank it, it must have been really to your taste,” he mumbled once more. “Ah, and I’ll also let you have your own little herb garden. Everything you want… just get well soon. Please.” Jinshi yawned, feeling his accumulated fatigue attack him once again, and nodded off for a second time. But before he had the chance to sink into a deeper sleep, a particular sound reached his ears. One that made him open his eyes on the spot and completely forget about his exhaustion. It was the tiniest of whimpers that filled the silence surrounding them. A single one, but it tore right through Jinshi's heart. It was more painful to him than being stabbed by a knife. His breath hitched for a moment. "Apothecary? Maomao, what's wrong?" This time, his voice was a bit louder than a mere whisper and contained a hesitant, frightened undertone. The apothecary didn't answer. She must still be in a deep sleep. Jinshi lowered his gaze and almost yelled out in shock. With his eyes wide open, he stared at the few tears that were flowing out the apothecary's closed eyes. Maomao was crying in her sleep. And in that very moment, there was another rumble of thunder, and lightning flashed brightly through the sky, as if Heaven itself was intending to create the perfect atmosphere for that scene.