Stay with me!

“Please come in. She’s still asleep. I have cleaned her up and changed her into sleepwear. ” Being received by Suiren, Jinshi and Gaoshun entered the young noble's chambers. Approximately an hour had passed since Jinshi had gotten the news that his apothecary would recover just fine. “Thank you, Suiren,” he replied quietly and managed to show her a little smile. His worry wasn't entirely gone, but at least he had finally managed to calm down somehow, knowing that Maomao was alive and in the best hands he could ever imagine. He couldn't wait to see her, to verify with his own eyes that she was alright… however… he still hesitated slightly as he approached the bed, a bit afraid of what he would see.  The image of her swollen cheek and eye and all that blood was still burnt into his memory… He felt as if he would never be able to forget that sight for as long as he lived. With his heart starting to beat a bit faster once more, he finally reached the bed, and his aide and chief lady-in-waiting promptly assumed their usual positions right behind him. There she was! Jinshi's breath hitched when he saw her lying there in his bed. Part of her head and the entire right side of her face were covered by bandages, and he could imagine that her leg wasn't looking any better. That sight made his heart ache, and he wanted nothing more than to throw himself at her and hug her tightly. The urge was so strong that he even unconsciously lifted his arms, ready to wrap them around her body, but… But Maomao looked even smaller than usual now, so frail and so vulnerable, that he restrained himself, putting his arms down again. The fear of accidentally hurting her, of breaking her, was just too big. However, despite everything, Jinshi felt that he still needed to touch her in order to convince himself that she was really there, and that it wasn’t just his mind playing tricks on him. Thus, he quickly grabbed a chair and put it right next to the bed, then sat down and took Maomao's left hand, holding it in both of his own. Soothed by the feeling of her pulse, he looked at her face again. And then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. Her mouth twitched slightly in her sleep, and her other hand, that was lying on the blanket, balled into a fist. The young noble froze for a moment, fearing that he had woken her up, but relaxed again once he saw that this wasn't the case.  Before heading to his chambers, he had taken off his ceremonial hat, letting his hair down again, and washed his face with cold water, because Gaoshun had insisted and also because Jinshi hadn't wanted to worry Suiren more than necessary. But now, a few fresh tears started to burn in his eyes that were still a bit puffy from all the crying earlier, and rolled down his cheeks at the sight of Maomao moving.  She wasn't like a lifeless doll anymore, thank goodness! Jinshi carefully placed his right hand on her head and started to slowly stroke her hair, while continuing to hold her small hand with his other one. “Sleep, apothecary. Everything’s going to be alright. Just sleep,” he muttered. Maomao relaxed again, as though she had heard his words. Suiren and Gaoshun, in the meantime, just kept standing behind him and observed him with warmth in their eyes. They exchanged a brief gaze, silently agreeing that they would let their lord do as he pleased for now. After all, they were the people who had raised Jinshi, his closest family. The ones who knew him better than anyone. And they both had to admit that they had never seen him care that deeply about someone else before. A care that went far beyond simple gratitude for having saved his life. None of it was an act. He really loved her. *** The room was filled with silence. Maomao was sleeping, Jinshi sitting next to her and holding her hand, and Gaoshun and Suiren watching over them. Nobody said a word. “Ah!” Jinshi stood up out of the blue, slightly startling the aide and the lady-in-waiting, who came closer, wondering what had happened. And as they did, they noticed that Maomao had started to stir agitatedly in her sleep, almost kicking off the blanket with her healthy leg… Suiren immediately headed to the other side of the bed and poured a cup of water for the injured girl, getting ready in case she was waking up. In the meantime, Jinshi bent over the apothecary and squeezed her hand, placing his free one on her shoulder. His eyes were filled with fear. “Maomao, can you hear me? Maomao!” he started to call out to her, growing more and more alarmed. He didn’t even realize that he had called her by her name. Twice. And surprisingly, she really seemed to have heard his voice, for her head turned into his direction. But then she relaxed again, falling into a deep sleep once more. Jinshi felt a new chain of worry tie itself around his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. “What was that just now!?” Suiren felt Maomao’s forehead and then sighed. “Well, I guess she isn’t ready to wake up yet, after all. But at least, she doesn’t have a fever and doesn’t seem to be in pain, either.” Jinshi sat down again and looked up at his chief lady-in-waiting with pleading, desperate eyes.  “So she is alright, you say?” Suiren showed him the gentle smile he had known since childhood. “Yes, young master. Please don’t worry. I reckon it was just an unpleasant dream she had.” He sighed in relief and pressed another kiss to the apothecary’s hand. *** Nearly an hour later, Jinshi was still watching the apothecary sleep, not moving from her side even for a minute. The sky outside had started to take on reddish and orangish hues, indicating that nighttime would soon arrive and that awful day finally end. Suddenly, he noticed Suiren approach him from the corner of his eye and snapped out of his thoughts, lifting his head. She was carrying a tray with a bowl of congee. “Surely, you must be hungry, young master.” Jinshi shook his head. “Thank you, Suiren, but no, I’m not.” She, however, still set the tray down on his lap. “But you haven’t eaten anything since morning.” The young noble realized that she was right. His stomach was certainly empty, but he had absolutely no appetite. Plus, after everything he had gone through that day and with Maomao still not waking up, he just couldn't bring himself to think of doing something as mundane as eating. Seeing that he didn't seem to change his mind, Suiren brought a hand to her mouth, letting out a little sigh.  “If Xiaomao knew that you weren't eating because of her, she would definitely be displeased and scold you, my lord,” the two of them then heard Gaoshun speak, who was still in the room as well. “Please don’t cause her any frustrations, she has to fully concentrate on her recovery.” Jinshi had turned to look at him, his eyes widening slightly upon hearing these words. That was right! Maomao was always reproaching him that he neglected his health. He couldn't trouble her with it at a time like this! Thus, he hesitantly picked up the spoon and started to slowly eat, with his other hand still holding Maomao’s. The congee was warm and felt nice as it went down his throat. Gaoshun put on a little smile when he saw that his words had worked like a charm. Well, after all, he knew very well how to handle his lord. *** And just as Jinshi was finishing his meal, Gaoshun approached him, clearing his throat. He knew that the topic he was about to raise wouldn't please the young man. But it was necessary. "After you are done eating, my lord, I would like you to follow me to my chamber. You need to rest as well, and I would cede my bed to you for the night.” Suiren nodded, silently agreeing with the idea. And as expected, Jinshi didn't take these words very well. He waved his free hand, almost knocking the tray with the bowl off his lap. "What are you saying, Gaoshun? How can I abandon her now?” His tone suggested that he found the mere idea of it completely absurd. The aide, however, was having none of it. "You are exhausted, my lord. You need to rest. I know you often suffer from lack of sleep, but today, you truly need it,” he replied calmly. “I can sleep here, on this chair.”  “No, young master,” Suiren chimed in as well. “But I can’t leave her! What if she suddenly takes a turn for the worse?!” Jinshi covered his mouth as soon as he realized that he had raised his voice and immediately looked at Maomao, checking if he had woken her up. Thankfully, he hadn’t. But he still had no clue how he was supposed to sleep now. What if something happened to her, and he wasn't there? But oh well, it wasn't as if he would really be able to help her, even if he was by her side, besides trying to comfort her the best he could. His chest constricted painfully as his gaze fell on the still remaining dried blood stains on his clothes, and the feeling of helplessness and uselessness from before returned to him. It wasn't as bad as earlier that day, but still… it hurt. Suiren seemed to guess what he was thinking about and smiled again at him. “She will be fine, young master. I will watch over her for you tonight.” These words soothed him. Yes, that was right. It had been his own command to let her be taken care of by one of the people he trusted the most.  He let out a sigh. "But if something should happen, you will call for me, yes?" "I promise, young master.” Jinshi directed his gaze at the apothecary's face and squeezed her hand he had been holding for several hours now. His expression clearly showed how much he didn't want to leave. "See you tomorrow, apothecary. Please be alright.” And finally let go of her, standing up and heading to the door, where Gaoshun was already waiting for him. Turning around to the bed several times on his way. "Go ahead. I would like to arrange my thoughts before going to sleep," he young noble said quietly. "Alone.” There was silence for a few seconds. Then the aide nodded, understanding that his lord needed some time for himself. "Very well, my lord.” *** His steps were echoing through the deserted, quiet hallway of his residence while he walked, hiding his hands in his sleeves. The light, cool evening breeze entering through a few open windows felt pleasant on his still slightly pale face, faintly illuminated by the light of that day's last sunrays. Walking like this, Jinshi almost felt as though he was the only one left in that world. No, more precisely: he and Maomao, who had never left his thoughts, not even for one second. Now, being left alone with these thoughts once more, realization started to sink in with each step he took, while the last traces of sunlight were abandoning the now obscure sky, plunging both Jinshi and his residence into darkness. Though it was still different from the darkness in his heart that had tormented him earlier that day when he had been fearing for Maomao's life. The realization of just how close he had been to losing Maomao forever jumped at him like a terrible monster, making him flinch and shiver from the shock. Or his own life. Him or her. One of them could have ceased to exist today. Just like that. Jinshi didn't understand anything. How, just how could that day that had seemed so normal, so ordinary upon waking up in the morning, turn into such a nightmare? The formerly nice wind suddenly started to feel awfully cold on his skin. The young noble covered his eyes with both hands and took a deep breath. And when he uncovered his face again… ...he realized that he was standing right in front of his beloved apothecary's room. As if his legs had been controlled by his subconsciousness. Without thinking twice, he opened the door and stepped inside.  It was dark now, but traces of her presence still lingered there, represented by some of her clothes hanging on the back of the chair, the few herbs she had hung out to dry, and all the strange powders and flasks standing and lying around. Yes, that room was hers, without a doubt. Jinshi took a few more steps and picked up one of the small plant leaves lying in a little pile on the table.  "I wonder what she was planning to do with this," he thought, managing to put on a weak smile. That room was infused with Maomao's presence to such a point, as if she would just walk up to him any minute. He could almost hear her voice, calling him. Jinshi placed the leaf back and shook his head, trying to return to reality. No, that wouldn't happen for now. She was still lying in his bed and sleeping. Peacefully, he hoped. Oh, how he wished to go back and continue to hold her hand until morning would come. No. If he did that, he would only make Suiren and Gaoshun worry, so he shouldn't. After all, his chief lady-in-waiting had promised to let him know if something should happen, and he had absolute trust in her. Speaking of making them worry, he should probably head to Gaoshun now, who was most likely waiting for him… But instead, his feet guided him to Maomao's bed.  For a short while he just stood and stared down at it and then, without even thinking about what he was doing… Jinshi let himself fall onto it, completely dressed, and buried his face into her pillow. A herbal scent immediately entered his nose. "It smells like her…” And that was the moment he started to feel all his piled-up exhaustion hit him with full force. So suddenly, it was sheerly impossible to not succumb to it, even for someone as used to lack of sleep as he was.  The young noble closed his eyes. "I think I'll stay here for a bit. Just a little bit... I'm so tired…” *** About a quarter of an hour later, the door to Maomao's room opened once more, and Gaoshun stepped in, holding a burning candle in his hand. He looked around, until his gaze fell on the figure lying on the bed, and came closer, letting out a sigh. "I knew I would find him here," the aide muttered. "Sir?” But then he realized that his lord was sound asleep, lying on his stomach and clutching the apothecary's blanket under him with both hands.  "He must be really exhausted... no wonder after such a day." Thus, Gaoshun decided to not disturb him and let him sleep. He placed the candle on the table and carefully took off his lord's shoes. And then left to fetch another blanket to cover Jinshi with, since it was impossible to pull the one belonging to the apothecary from under him. "Maomao..." Jinshi didn't notice any of this, his hands clutching the blanket even tighter as he murmured the young woman's name in his sleep.