Until the end

The sun has already begun to set, yielding its power to the moon and stars. At this time, a spacious room was filled with noise from the conversations of boys and girls. They were already going to have dinner, and at the same time, they were discussing what had happened on their last mission. They again had to set foot on the territory of the former Republic. The Republic of San Magnolia was to be their home. But this homeland sent the Eighty-Six to their death a few years ago, pretending that there were no people in the war. No people — no victims. Those “white pigs” evaded their responsibility for the war, and after that they completely relaxed too much. They never even thought they could pay for their carelessness and arrogance. But they paid the price for their mistakes. The Republic turned into a heap of ruins, and its inhabitants had to remember at least a little about what war and the fear of death were. But for how long? “Oh, those “white pigs'' never change. They saw the face of war but it didn’t influence them. But, you know, I would be surprised if they changed their mind somehow.” A young blond man took a deep breath, propping his cheek with his hand and slightly narrowing his green eyes. “Maybe at the very beginning they were scared… But they have become too calm again. And the fact that they blame us for everything is not something new. They won’t get tired of it until they can speak.” The boy with dark green hair yawned as he commented on his comrade’s words. “Enough! You’ve been talking about the same things since morning. Raiden, at least you stop!” “Hey, Anju, don’t get so mad. We haven’t heard anything about them for a long time. I mean, we didn’t even have time for that. But it’s interesting to see how some people stay the same no matter what.” The same young man justified himself in front of a blue-eyed girl with white hair, who set out plates of food. “I’m surprised you’re here. As far as I remember, you were going somewhere with Dustin.” “He has a lot of things to do today. Raiden, what’s wrong with you? Usually you are like the voice of conscience for us! You’d better start eating until nothing has cooled down!” Anju frowned slightly as she sat down at the table. “It’s been a while since we all got together like this… It’s just the five of us and no one else,” Kurena sighed, but then she turned her attention to her blond comrade. He struggled with cutlery and couldn’t eat properly because of his old injury. “Theo, stop torturing yourself. Let me help you.” “Ahem, ahem.” Almost all the usual noise faded when a barely noticeable cough was heard. The whole company immediately turned their attention to him for a reason. The young man looked around like he was looking for someone or something. “Where is Lena?” “How are we supposed to know? Wasn’t she supposed to come with you, Shin?” asked Theo back, his surprised eyes showed that he was interested in the real answer too. “Well, I haven’t seen her since the early morning…” Raiden answered honestly, but he got a little worked up as he noticed the concern in the red eyes of his friend. When did Raiden learn to understand something from the indifferent red eyes of that guy? Or was their Reaper no longer as indifferent as it seemed for so long? “Ah…” Shin wanted to say something, but he cut off the attempt before opening his mouth. Unusually for himself, he paced back and forth as he felt something was wrong. “Shin, I don’t think you should be worried that much. Maybe she’s just sleeping. You said she went to bed very late.” Anju tried to smooth out the tension somehow, although she knew that Shin wouldn’t calm down. “Shin, where are you going? Stop!” finally almost screamed Kurena but their friend had already left the room, “What the…” “You will only waste your time if you try to stop him. After all, we know if it’s about his precious Lena, he won’t listen to anyone.” Raiden sighed, waving his hand towards the slammed door. “Yes, that’s how it always happens!” The red-haired girl frowned and silently switched her attention to the food. After that, the rest of the gang followed her example. “Lena, I hope I’ll make it on time… Please, hold on.” Having a terrible feeling, Shin rushed out of the room to where the girl might be. At least he hoped so. He would have kept looking for her even if everything had turned out in a too different way. If someone had said around two years ago the Undertaker would run like this to help someone feel better, that guy would have been laughed at. For some reason, most people thought Shin was incapable of emotions at all. Blood-red eyes were too calm in any situation. It looked like nothing in this world could shatter his cold indifference. Now the same man was running down the hall. His red eyes widened, eyebrows raised, teeth clenched… Shin truly felt fear that something might have happened to the girl who always made his heart race. It wasn’t a possible surprise Legion’s attack that could threaten Lena’s life… The reason to worry about Lena had nothing in common with physical wounds. It was about her possible deep emotional wounds. The common noise of the voices in his head was drowned out by the broken sounds of his loud heartbeat. He breathed heavily as he could feel the fear running through his veins. “Please don’t do anything stupid… I beg you… I’ll come to you… I’ll be right here.” The darkness in the hallway was shattered with a ray of light coming from the crack in the door of the room where Colonel Milize was supposed to be. Shin took two steps to cover the distance to be here in this room. He probably didn’t care about the consequences. He had no time to think. Shin stopped for a moment to catch his breath. He looked around the room and finally saw the one he was looking for. “Lena!” Shin called her name, but only silence responded to his words. A skinny girl with long hair was standing by the window. She looked somewhere out… No, her head was lowered. Shin could see her silver strands of hair hanging he noticed against her slightly trembling hands that she rested on the window sill. “Lena?” The girl didn’t seem to hear the words addressed to her or even to notice someone had entered the room. Only half a minute was enough for Shin to figure out she went somewhere deep inside her mind. The boy signed the way it was barely audible as he quietly walked closer to her. He was puzzled over how he could help her. Lena went deep down into her thoughts. She kept thinking about the soldiers' recent mission and the things she heard while being synchronized with them. The point was that while the squadron was in the territory of the former Republic, the voices of the survivors could be heard. Their voices shouted vile things towards Eighty-Six. The Alba blamed Shin and his comrades for joining the army of the Federacy and claimed them as traitors. The warriors didn’t pay attention to these things. They never expected to hear anything good about themselves here. You wouldn’t be disappointed if you expected nothing, would you? It must have worked that way. Lena felt so angry inside because of these things. Those who considered themselves the superior race had never even tried to see their own mistakes. After the Republic turned into ruins, the survivors should have opened their eyes to things they hadn’t seen before. They should have realized their faults to improve the situation for the sake of the future. They had to. But those white pigs were unable to look beyond their ugly noses. They tried to think about real problems as little as possible. Why? It was convenient to pretend everything was fine. Pretending was the thing the Alba were so good at. Lena figured out it was pointless to hope those citizens of her homeland would awaken their conscience. Although she still wanted to believe in justice until the end. Among those screams of hate, there was something not quite familiar… The young girl could hear her compatriots cursing her for desertion, for weakness, for helping “pigs”, for the death of the Republic… Their list seemed to be endless. It was something that Vladilena hadn’t been quite ready for. Back then she worked so hard to come up with a solid plan, and learned as many details as she could… And in the end, the citizens of San Magnolia made her their enemy. No, Lena didn’t even think about regrets for deciding to try her best to help 86 and fight to the end. She just felt like she was alone with her pain…. She was a stranger to everyone. “Lena, can you hear me now?” Suddenly the girl heard a painfully familiar voice right behind her. She finally heard the sound but remained motionless. She was shackled by all those vile thoughts that stuck in her head like a dead weight and crushed her soul. Guilt, shame, and despair all merged into a whole heavy stone that couldn’t be seen, although it caused real pain. “Lena.” Shin gently touched her shoulder, and the girl flinched slightly as if she was frightened. The boy’s voice was so quiet and soft, although it showed his concern for her. “Don’t be afraid, it’s me.” “Shin…” The silver bell voice finally called out, but it sounded unusually quiet. The girl almost whispered his name while being somewhere in her thoughts. Then she suddenly woke up and tried to hide her real mood, poorly imitating her usual tone. “Why are you here? At this time, you usually have dinner…” “Yes, we have. But I still have a very important thing to do…” Shin started answering but caught himself bringing trash talk and fell silent for a while. He was completely confused in his thoughts, words, and actions and didn’t understand what he had to do. But he knew that he couldn’t remain silent for too long. “Please, tell me what’s bothering you.” “It’s nothing… Everything’s all right.” The girl gave him a short answer without noticing she was only giving herself away like that. “Then why are you staying in your room the whole day? Would you rather tell me what happened?” “I… I was just sleeping. Nothing happened… I’m calm, I’m fine.” She quickly came up with something to get away from the question. But the man in front of Lena was too considerate of everything about her. “You are too uptight.” Shin didn’t even think to stop. He saw this girl was trying to hide her feelings… He saw she only pretended everything was fine: “You know, I used to hide my pain from others for a long time. But in the end… I almost lost my soul.” “But I am not…” “Lena.” The young man deftly turned her to face him, lifting her chin with his fingers to meet her eyes, “Can you repeat what you have said now?” “Ah…” The girl felt how his beautiful red eyes attracted her attention them and seemed to look deep into her soul. She wanted to turn her look away but found herself unable to look away. Shin did it on purpose so that it was difficult for her to continue hiding the truth. Her silver eyes looked tired and depressed, and old tears made them slightly swollen. Everything was visible from such a short distance. “I… I just didn’t want to bother you… You have enough problems… It wouldn’t be my mistake to load you with my nonsense… There’s no need to waste your time on me…” “It’s not nonsense if it hurts you. You always tell me it’s necessary to speak about the pain inside. Don’t you remember who said not to keep everything inside, hm?” Shin gently ran his thumb along her cheek, touching her silky white skin, and wrapped his free arm around her. He would always remember how she didn’t give up when she tried to get him to talk and felt that now it was his turn…to help her overcome her inner demons. “Yes, I did. And I would tell you the same things! But now it’s about… other problems…” “Other problems? You have the same kind of problems… The pain won’t decrease if you try to pretend that it is not there… The pain will only become too much to bear, so please don’t be silent. He lightly stroked her back with the hand he used to hug her. His voice was quiet, soft, and even… warm, although there was still a note of anxiety. It seemed that during all this time, Shin had changed a lot. “Shin… I’m just… I’m ashamed to tell you I was touched by the cries of those who made you and your comrades suffer so much… I… I know that it’s all my fault… I knew that I would become a stranger among them… I thought that I could take the fight and lead everyone well… but… I couldn’t… And I couldn’t open their eyes to the truth… I couldn’t help you and your comrades either…. although I wanted to… I kept thinking so many times that I was doing something. Now it turns out I’m the one who did nothing… Am I allowed to be sad? After all, I don’t have time to cry if I want to do something useful at least once in a while! I’m the one to carry my sins…” At first, the girl still tried to resist her emotions, but in the end, she broke loose and the words poured out in a bitter hail. She finally said something as she felt a tremor… It was either from a lump in her throat or from a sense of her guilt. Or it was just from realizing the fact she felt how a strong male hand continued to gently stroke her hair. The girl wanted to lower her head, but Shin held her chin a little tighter. “Lena… Don’t hide your eyes. It’s not your fault… Unfortunately, San Magnolia’s people were too stubborn to try to look beyond the illusion they believed so much in. I’m not surprised that they didn’t want to change, but… All that time you were preparing for the war that would have come there. You remembered the conclusions we made. You prepared a plan of action… In the end, you even sacrificed your health… And without you, no one would have survived. If those white pigs refuse to understand the facts and find the nerve to blame you for everything… They will get their punishment. Listen to me. They are the only ones to blame for their stupidity. Don’t try to burden everything on yourself! Especially if it’s not your fault… I beg you, don´t make the same mistakes I’ve made. Lena froze for a moment. She met his understanding, sympathetic look. She tried to catch every single word, as her soul needed it like air. Usually, this boy was not one of those who talked a lot. But it was her who always awakened the feelings in him. She was the one he wanted to talk to. Shin took her hand and brought it to his neck, making her touch his scar. This wound… He always kept it away from everyone’s eyes… Lena always felt pain somewhere deep inside of her whenever she thought about the story of his scar. But he never told her about it. Meanwhile, Shin was almost whispering: “My scar is the reminder of the guilt that I lived with for many years. One day… My brother was driven crazy by the news of our mother’s death. I couldn’t understand why he assaulted me. He blamed everything on me and almost strangled me. Even though I survived, the guilt kept killing me from the inside. After that battle with my brother, it got better for a very short period. But I didn’t tell anyone about it. I kept hidden everything that was troubling me because no one would care about it anyway. I thought there were enough other problems… I mean, when the comrades die every day… I thought I should just switch to my missions. To what I should do in this war. So I buried my emotions. I was just a living corpse. I went crazy and just waited for a moment to finally die. But it was you who made my soul alive again. You made me feel like a human. And thanks to you I have a reason to live today. Lena…” Shin pressed her hand a little harder against his scar. For this moment he didn’t hide his biggest wound from her. The wound that reflected in his soul. But he finally let his precious girl get as close to him as possible. He hoped that the story of his scar could help him save her from the same mental wound… Lena believed that she hadn’t done anything useful. And Shin wanted to show she was wrong. Here he was, a living confirmation that this girl once did something very important… No, she continued doing this thing all the time. She continued being his light and filled the hole in his heart. And knowing the burden she had taken on herself hurt him too. Shin wanted to try everything to help her. He wanted to lighten her burden, let her talk, and cry it out if she needed to… He wanted to be a support for her. He wanted her to know she could always count on him. How could he stay silent? “Lena, don’t even think that I’ll let something like this happen to you. I won’t let anyone drown you in the guilt you don’t have. I want you to remember that you’ve done at least one thing… Thanks to you, I’m standing here in front of you now. " Shin felt the girl gently stroking his scar and was silent for a while. She seemed to be afraid that the wound was fresh. Even now she showed she would like to take some of his pain away, forgetting about herself. The boy pulled her to him, closed his arms around her back, and left a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “Shin…” Lena called his sweet name, realizing every word she heard from his mouth. She held him tight in return, nuzzling into his shoulder. She could feel how she was getting warmer… The warmth dispersed throughout her body. She got goosebumps as this feeling penetrated the depths of her heart. The girl was very touched by Shin’s words. His words were sincere, warm, and understanding, even if they gave away bitterness from experienced nightmares in reality. The story of his scar was so harsh, filled with excruciating pain. It was the truth that couldn´t be escaped, but it should have been accepted and moved on. Lena guessed that the same Shorei Nouzen was involved here. That man who once gave her a hand to help… He was Shin’s elder brother. The brother who became a Legion after being deceased. And it would be foolish to blame this man after he got Shin’t forgiveness. Because in the end, anyone could go crazy in the same conditions. She was uncomfortable with the fact Shin carried so much pain inside of him. Though Lena was glad that he finally trusted her. He finally told her. She would like to say something. She would like to comfort him, to take the topic back to its usual course, forgetting about her burden for a while. But she couldn’t. She still could feel that lump in her throat. She even opened her mouth, trying to squeeze out at least something, but something went wrong… Or it wasn’t wrong. The warmth Shin was sharing with her affected her in a way that was needed. Her silver bell voice let out a loud sob that was unexpected for herself. Then it subsided when the girl buried her face harder in Shin’s shoulder in an attempt to drown out the cry. She felt so insecure and lost. The tears rolled down one after another and made her body tremble. She felt alone, broken, guilty, pathetic… Lena trusted Shin and finally gave vent to her emotions. The tears she had been holding for so long. She was finally able to trust someone, to show her inner mentally traumatized little girl. She had got someone who cared. Shin held her tighter to him, gently stroking her back, and let her cry out her pain. He was glad to be able to help her to let what caused her emotional pressure out. He felt she needed him. He tried his best to give her support. For their convenience, Shin sat on the nearby bed while he still was hugging the queen of his heart. Lena cried her heart out too much, so her only reaction was to hug Shin tighter. Seeing this, he smiled slightly and buried his nose in her long silver hair to make her feel his presence more. He silently tried to let Lena know she always had him by her side.

***

“Shin… Thank you…” After quite a long time, the silverbell voice tried to speak again. But the recent tears made her voice a little bit raspy. “Thank you for staying with me… Thank you for not leaving me.” “I wouldn’t leave you anyway. You can always cry if you need it. If you need to vent out, then do it. I’m always here for you. Don’t be shy if you need anything, okay?” Shin looked into her tear-stained silver eyes. Oh, these beautiful eyes of hers. Shin would give everything to make them shine happily. “Okay… And… Thank you for finally telling me that story… I had thought about it in this way before… But you felt so much pain…” She gently touched his scar again, running her finger over it. “That’s how you always are. You had forgotten about yourself again when you began to feel sorry for me… Yeah, it was painful. But, as I said, you changed everything.” He whispered as he touched her forehead with his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on it. “But you are the same!” Lena spoke a little louder, showing ridiculous her smile at his actions. She could feel how the warmth continued going through her veins. “I won’t argue… If we are to speak about it… Then let me take care of you.” Shin smiled softly at her, gently wiping away her tears. He touched her face lightly. “You always reminded me you were by my side. I want you to know you always have me by your side… After all, I love you.” “Shin, thank you… Yes, I… love you too and… You know, I feel better.” “You see,” Shin smiled warmly, narrowing his eyes with a kind of affectionate glance. He gently kissed her eyes while she was trying to close them. His forehead delicately touched hers. “No matter what happens, I’m with you to the end.” The two touched each other’s lips, dissolving into a gentle kiss. Their kiss took so much trepidation and affection as it could be possible to imagine. Both Shin and Lena accepted each other for real, trusted each other, and wanted to be together forever. At that moment, both souls realized that they were now fighting together against both Shin and Lena accepted the real versions of each other. They trusted each other and wanted to be together forever from the bottom of their hearts. At that moment, their souls realized they were fighting together against the Legion and the inner demons. Together they would pass all the tests. They would survive the challenges. All they needed was the unmistakable feeling of each other’s hands.