A New Strain

To Garrison Commandant of Pori, from scout Lalli Hotakainen Copy to the Major-General Commandant of Keuruu Report   (Onni said I should report everything, not just trolls) Me & defense mage Onni Hotakainen were in a training outing from Pori to teach foreign mage Reinir Arnason field ops. Not totally hopeless. At least now he tells cranberry from lingonberry and does not sit on a duskling thinking its a stump. Some of his scribbles are useful too. We planned to go north along the sea and back. I did the back part alone because. Nothing special on the way forward. Lots of beasts and trolls. No wonder, its summer. In two weeks, grosslings became fewer and disappeared at all at one point (Ive marked the point on the map in your reception hall). A middle-sized valley surrounded by rocks, a lehto by almost all signs: healthy squirrels, mosquitos, raspberries, feels safe. Also there is a river, and some fields and groves, a beach. And houses. Good houses, not ruins, look maintained. And there are troll nests inside. Everywhere. But those trolls are weird. Really weird, not just weird. Stupid cat of the stupid icelander does not react to them even when a troll pats her. Well I didnt feel danger too, nor did Onni or the icelander. And the trolls look different from the common type. They are weird but not ugly. With clear eyes. Not aggressive. And they speak normal finnish, not the black mind speech. Onni says they talk better than me and do not forget to use ‘hellos’ or ‘thankyous’ and all that stuff. The ones we stumbled on first even invited us for a lunch and did not mean us by ‘lunch’. They meant real tea, some stew stuff and buns with some jam. Really tasty unlike danish candle soup. Still they are not humans. More like healthy animals because some of them have tails, muzzles or are just too weird for a human. They didn’t fear us too and answered any our questions, about rash, their life, the valley and outsides, and even how to make raspberry jam (stupid braidy is stupid). They gave the recipe but it turned put they didnt know anything about the rash. They say they are born that way. Yes, they reproduce like normal critters. The ones whom we met first were a male, a female and their baby moomin troll - there are several different species, and moomin trolls have short white fur, with weird tails like moose tail and even weirder muzzles a bit like moose snout, and they walk on two feet. Then, there are snorks. Basically the same as moomins but they change colour by mood and have some funny human hair on their heads. The snork maiden, with golden curls, looks so much like Emil, all soft and round. If you go to the swedish cleansers camp and ask for Emil Västerström youll get the idea of a snork. I groped her side, and its almost the same to touch as Emil but she squeaked and told I was rude. Strange, Emil never told me that it was rude. There are also toffles, too shy to be mentioned. Muscrat, just a giant muscrat. Hemulen, another kind of weird moose with even longer snout. Gaffsies, weird almost-humans with beak-nose. Mymbles, weird almost-humans with onion heads and rat tails. Some others, I will list them if you need. Many even wear clothes. Almost no one goes outside of the valley, just some hemulens and a mumrik guy. Little moomin talked a lot about him and said I resembled him a bit. That one does not live in a house and wanders here and there with a tent, and even spends all winter in the Silent World. Sounds sensible, to spend the most dangerous season in a quiet place like the valley. I met him once by a riverlet side. Another almost-human. Spent some time fishing together. Had a good time, without a word. But then he took out a small thing called harmonica and started making... sounds. Really loud really icky. I dont know how he survives outside. Maybe those sounds scare off even grosslings. Should investigate. Moomins say really dangerous critters can walk into the valley. By their description, a ‘lady of the cold’ may be a kade. It kills with a glance but fortunately she comes only in the bitterest winter cold. And a groke travels in summer too, and can freeze anyone to death if you come too close but they say it is not very fast and can be lured away easily by a bonfire or lantern. That does not sound very dangerous. So at first I thought they may be a kind of forest spirits gone material. No, they still are trolls because they are contagious. The stupid redhead wanted to pat a tiny redhead mymble, he thought that monster was cute. And she didnt want him to pet her (who would want to get petted by him anyway?) so she bit his finger. Hard enough to break skin. And he is not immune. I offered to shoot him on the spot to save from suffering. Who knows what sort of kade comes out of infected foreign mage? But Onni said no and decided to wait for two weeks by the protocol. He thinks icelanders wont get kaded. The idiot didnt have two weeks, he turned into a troll in two days time. Fox-like muzzle, rat-like short tail. The stupid braid remained. Then he did ask to end his misery but before I could find my rifle or knife (Onni hid them!) and help him the biting mymble came and laughed her head off and said he became a normal, pretty healthy fillyjonk. The icelander looked scared out of his wits (whatever they are) but otherwise living and well. Both him and Onni stay in the valley, sort of quarantined. Onni asks to send there some medical researchers without delay, he believes its a new strain of the rash. And that it can be a sort of vaccine against the old strain. Maybe because the locals dont catch the rash. I dont understand how it works, its not my business. My task was to deliver this report. But please, I ask you to order me back to the lehto. Someone immune must look after those two idiots and the distance between them. Right, the virus doesnt spread by air. Onni was by the icelanders side all the time, even without a mask, and still was alive and human when I left. But biting works. And the redhead can bite Onni. For example, I do bite Emil too if he is too cute. This is all I can write, my word stock is spent for a month ahead. Waiting for your orders in the reception, sleeping under secretarys desk. Or at the camp of swedish cleansers if the secretary finds and banishes me before you read the report. Ask Västerström then.   L. Hotakainen Aug. 15-16, 92