***
“Good deeds are punishable” — is it? With a sigh, I glanced again at the place where I have recently woken up. Two walls, two bars instead of the other two walls, allowing me to see through the cell from any angle. The bars are almost as big as a foot, larger than the space between them. Behind one of the bars is a corridor and a guard post, and behind the other is a small cage of similar bars that serves as an airlock. In the far corner is a closet with a toilet and, next to it, a sink with a mirror above it — all in full view, so you can peek at my face. And showers seem to be a luxury for people like me now… The bed. Enough to accommodate an alicorn with difficulty, but no more than that. A table, a stool, and a bookshelf with a couple dozen shabby tabloid novels. A quill, an inkwell, and a small stack of blank paper. A shabby rug to create anything remotely resembling comfort. The light seems to be only natural, from a small barred window, and from the “light bulbs” that shine upon the bored guards at the post. That’s all, by and large. Oh, no, there’s also, of course, a fashion accessory on the horn, gently filling its coils with some elastic, slightly sticky stuff on the inside, having a slick, sloping shape on the outside, and therefore completely unremovable by any reasonable effort without help from the outside. Now that’s it for sure. At least they didn’t bother with any other collar chains, probably counting on the sufficient reliability of the magical restraints and bars… Well, a great place to die from the boredom. There’s not even a clock here! I was thinking, of course, about how it has come to this in the first place… I chuckled unhappily, rolling over onto my other side and staring at the wall. “How it has come” — quite understandable thing. The fucking nightmare had rocked Tia’s psyche enough that one serious shock was enough to make her go off the slicer for good. And that shock was Luna and her condition. It’s not unreasonable to mistake her for dead in that situation — and yet I hope she’s still alive and being pumped out there now. Why so — I don’t fucking know, honestly! But as it turned out, for all my dislike of the blue one, I didn’t want her to die. And I certainly didn’t want her to die in a situation where her death guarantees to bring my own, because considering who seemed to be at the helm in the snowy alicorn’s body instead of Tia… I hope our sweet Sunny gets her body back somehow. Because if the pyromaniac stays, no one will be happy at all, and I, as the one accused in using the ritual, that sucked the power from Luna, is in the lead. Thanks, as you might call it, to my brand-new starry mane amidst the monstrous exhaustion of the blue one… What the hell is so great about my luck?.. I sighed and rolled over onto my other side again, now staring at the beaten carpet. So that’s it… Straining our horse asses with Luna, trying to tear the head off the nightmare so it wouldn’t drip on Tia’s brains like a company of space marines. All that for she, having assessed the loss, would do what we were trying so hard to prevent — go all guns blazing. Abyss… But who knew that she was being harassed not only “from the outside,” but probably “from the inside,” too? Much, of course, became clearer, but it did not help at all. Especially in a situation where nothing else depends on you, and of all opportunities you have only to sit and wait. The damned ring even work with the world of dreams, sending me to the very beginning of the path, when you understand everything, but you cannot do anything! If some nightmare gets to me, all I can do is cuss it out, and that’s not right away, but only when I wake up… I sighed wistfully, scraping myself off the bed, cringing from the disgusting burning-tickling-tensing sensation almost all over my body, and walked around the cell, stretching my legs. It wasn’t that small, by the way — eighteen or twenty squares at a glance. I am, however, also far from human compactness: I occupy about one and a half of it simply by standing still in place. And with wings, it would probably be all three if I spread it out. And that’s if you count the area honestly, not if you square the silhouette, because that would be… I shook my head. I walked over to the bars, wincing because of the way the bars were put everywhere in my eyes, and looked out into the extended part of the corridor adjacent to the cell. I was tempted to call it an “atrium,” where the guards were seated. They’ve brought as many as four, though it seemed to me that all the cells here, no matter how many there were, except for mine, were empty. Three guards, a mare and two stallions, were playing something with a slight boredom, seated at the table. The fourth one, a pale orange pegasus with bright blue hair, flatly refused to join in. He was rebuking his colleagues for neglect, levity, and violation of regulations after every offer to tag along, and continued to stare at me through the bars almost unremittingly. I met his gaze with mine, smiled to bare my teeth and snapped them, causing the pegasus to flinch and take a step backward. His croup comically against the wall. A new one. I chuckled briefly and shook my head, and continued to stagger leisurely around the cell. Soon, though, I was in luck: the world around me began to change. I heard footsteps from the door next to the guards, which seemed to lead to the cellar, and it rattled open, letting in the new faces. Shining Armor was the first, and I raised an eyebrow in mild surprise, followed by the familiar pale pink, short unicorn mare with a striped mane that seemed to come in four or five shades from pale blue to radical turquoise. Medical bags were slung over the colored pony’s back. Aqua Spectrum, had been observing me on matters of magical health for some time. “The Players” finding Armor in front of them, jumped up like being hit by boiling water. They made me chuckle and their vigilant rookie colleague give the trio the “I told you!” look. After listening to the confused report, the Lieutenant promised everyone to cancel their leaves and more duties by a long, heavy stare, after which he said to the penalized soldiers: “At ease. Look around.” He moved towards me with Aqua. “Howdy, Lieutenant. You haven’t come by me for so many nights…” I smiled at him cutely. “When is the wedding?” “Not today.” He answered simply, giving me a frown. “You have to be examined by a medpony. Without tricks, Nightmare. And without jokes.” “I will wail soon without jokes.” I mumbled under my breath. “Let her do her job — I’ll try to not complicate her job.” “The keys!” The unicorn ordered, turning around and looking at me with a frown again. “I’m serious, Nightmare.” I silently glanced at him and went deep into the cell, waving my tail defiantly in farewell. You will not get another answer, Lieutenant, I do not feel guilty enough for another answer! I’ve been honestly cutting my veins to get to the starters, risking my skin, not seeing Rarity for half a month. And I haven’t seen the others for who knows how long, and here’s the result. I’m sitting in a cage with all kinds of smart asses poking me with a stick: “Are you normal? Are you going to behave good?” Fuck your horses, citizens — this is my last word! And Tia, damn… “You promised!” I promised — and I did it! Luna has been hurt by other’s deeds, not mine! Who is insured in battle in general — it happened as it happened, it’s good that we are still alive!… I hope we' re still alive… Yeah, Tia didn’t know — you could’ve asked, damn you! No, damn it! I… Just… It’s a pity! Fairless! And she’s gone to who fucking knows way… And these now!.. How long would it be before I’m considered as an enemy of the people by my acquaints? Damn it! It’s been fucking hell without end since the day I had woken up as a mare in this good-bloody-childish tale!.. I frowned as I looked at the movement at the airlock grate. The newcomer, who had opened the outer door, was now anxiously trying to lock it back, with Shining and his companion inside. He soon succeeded, and the pegasus, wiping the sweat from his forehead, staggered to his “playing” partners in relief. He received a threatening shout to his back, pressed his ears and made everyone laugh at him, coming back to the door and pulling out and taking the forgotten key from the keyhole. “Kindergarten…” Armor, rolling his eyes, magically took another key and opened the door of my cell. Entering, he cautiously hid behind his shield and started to shine with his horn at the ready. Aqua slipped in as well, trying to habitually be as smaller and more invisible as possible. No matter how long we’ve been chatting — she hasn’t gotten used to me anyway, this aura’s doctor and the opener of chakras. It’s like a bomb squad with an unexploded nuclear bomb, for God’s sake… Even if I wanted to, what would I do here? “G-greetings, Nightmare… Wow, it’s even more beautiful up close!..” She said a nervous hello, and stared at my mane in fascination. Armor, with a grudging hum, looked at me grudgingly. “Hi, doc.” “S… Sorry.” The pony drooped, unfreezing. “Well… Phew… Do you, e-e… Do you have any complaints?” She asked in her own style shyly. “I do. I, Acquired Princess, can’t be alone and can’t escape the others’ gazes even when sleeping!” I rolled the complaint out with a stone face. “It’s ridiculous!” I don’t even know how it should be. But I can always cite the age and the old times. “I’m sorry, Your Grace.” Shining made a barely visible bow, forcing the unicorn do the same reflexively. “Her Highness Princess Celestia checked the cells before your imprisonment in person — and, despite your title, ordered to confine you here. We cannot do anything about that. Sorry.” The guard’s voice had like zero grams of regret. “And Aqua Spectrum meant your state of health.” Imagine that — I knew that! Dumbass, damn it. Those were the Lunar ones, this is a Solar one… I did not answer the guardsman, but looked down at him silently, and turned to the embarrassed medpony. “The condition… It feels like all the energy channels are burning to the last one. It is tolerable, it is possible to get used to it, but it is disgusting to the point of impossibility and all over the body at once. The horn is aching. The phantom pains, fortunately, have also almost subsided, so nothing else really bothers me. The only other thing is that I obviously need to eat.” “W-well, if the pain is tolerable, then you haven’t burn them all. The energy channels…” The medpony walked around me timidly, shining her horn at me. “As far as I can tell, too much energy has gone through them. It’s rare, usually there’s just not enough reserve for that… To avoid making things worse, try not to use magic yet… Oh, I mean… Excuse me, Your Grace!” She laid down her ears. “For a more rapid and successful recovery, I would recommend this potion.” The mare hurriedly dug out of her kit a couple of small vials and placed them on the table. “Three times a day, but I only have two with me so far. I tried to pick up the vial demonstratively with my telekinesis, grimaced, put my hoof to the jar, magnetized it, straining a bit and put it back. Familiar vials. Not a cheap brew, from what I’ve heard… I wonder if these ones are supposed to be provided to every hangman like me…. Shining cast a suspicious glance at the vials and the doctor in confirmation of my thoughts. “Here. Feel better…” The pony mumbled. “If there are no complaints left, then I’d like to go…” “Thanks doc. Patching me again… Goodbye, I guess?” “G-goodbye.” She squeaked in answer and went for the exit in a hurry. Shining looked suspiciously at me, too, and said the food would be here soon, so he followed. “Come on, go away.” I muttered to myself as the door rattled and the key jangled in the lock. I tried to magically pick up the vial from the table again. Cursing softly, I glued it to my hoof, and, twisting the cork with my teeth, poured the fizzy liquid into myself, which made my tongue feel a little numb. I couldn’t find a trash can, so I just tossed the empty container and the cork behind the bars into the corridor. I ignored the guards' indignation and crouched on the bunk, facing the wall. The mood, already lousy, was rapidly rolling into the abyss. Well, to hell with it. And with me. With everyone.…
“Rar, you won’t leave me, will you?” “I won’t, Nighty.” I froze, trying to hold back the tears and feeling her heart beating. “N-never?” “Until I die.” She smiled a bit sadly with the edges of her lips.…
I opened my eyes, and, wiping away the tears with the tip of my wing, sighed tearfully. And a couple of hours later she flew away, leaving me to prepare for the final battle with evil… And upon the victory over it, I’ll be just decommissioned, and I’m risking to never see neither Rar, nor the others… The Ice Cream’s visit left such a mark on my memory that I could fall into it, as I had fallen into memories about the Moon. Or I just wanted to do it so badly, I don’t know. I wanted something… reassuring — but the memory of meeting my friend only served to wound my soul. Damn it… But I could not change over to the positive — my mind was full of strife and despondency. It’s bad, but… I remembered asking Rarity, as I continued that dialog, if she would agree to become an alicorn, with all the pros and cons of that decision. The answer was somewhat puzzling and surprising: Rar said yes in a flash, despite my clarification that she, an immortal, would have to bury her sister sooner or later, and her potential children as well… It was taken as… As if it were not her decision — as if it were fate. If you can be, you have to be, otherwise it’s just wrong. And then the conversation crept towards the subject of death and the relationship to it. Ponies have a peculiar way of looking at this. They felt as if there were two deaths — as I divided by myself: the good one and the bad one. The good one took the pony when his time came, and the bad one took him before his time. So the attitude toward natural death from old age was simple and easy. Such is life, it comes to an end. It was a good one, filled with joys and sorrows, friends, events… Saying that I was shocked when Rar told me about Pinkie’s farewell parties for such an occasion is not surprising at all. But yes, quiet, calm gatherings of family and friends, farewells, remembering good things. No condolence — there’s nothing tied to it. The natural course of things… A very different matter was premature death by disease, in a catastrophe or accident, from an attack by some predatory creature — you got the point. The point was that the life that was supposed to go on was tragically cut short. Here were the condolences, the grief, the tears, and the parting without parties, in sadness and silence. So, as surprising as it is, Rar didn’t even think of a no in this hypothetical case, I guess. And burying her sister… Well, if she died of old age because that is a natural course of things, well. I’m not sure, in fact, that if she had been faced with a real prospect, she would have agreed just as easily… I still had some doubts about her motivation, even though I was somewhat impressed by her certain positive attitude. But no matter how you feel about losses, they will still be losses, and it is unlikely that they will ever become painless. On the other hand, not killing yourself over them is also the right thing to do from a certain point of view?.. I remembered home, my parents, from there, from that life. What did I feel now? A light sadness, perhaps — and a willingness to move on. And maybe that’s the right thing to do? They wouldn’t want me to go and drink ‘till the end over the fact that they were no longer with me, would they? “They’re no longer with me”… If you think about it, it sounds pretty selfish — too much “me”… “I don’t have you anymore, I want you to come back, I feel bad”! The situation, however, is somewhat reversed here — it was me who had gone, but still, we lost each other. In fact, I hope they don’t remember me very often anymore. They buried me, remembered me, and moved on, instead of being left to weep over the grave, fading away on their own. I certainly wouldn’t want that. Let them go on living, not having forgotten how to laugh and smile, just as I should now. And still — I miss them, sometimes… I chuckled involuntarily at the image that came to mind: my mother, sighing and looking sadly at the tombstone, smiling sadly: “You’re now in a better world”, but I’ve been coping here for weeks with my eyes goggling, and then I got in a jail… “A better world” — fucking yes!.. I sit behind bars and envy myself! Yeah, and thinking about death for an eternity… Who knows, maybe it will come for me tomorrow, in the form of Daybreaker as an executioner?.. I sighed and looked around the semi-darkened cell. The Sun had already been replaced in the sky by the Moon. Its dim light barely penetrated the window through the clouds, and only the low lights of the lamps under the ceiling of the guard post shone on me. The other four ponies were already languidly carrying on there, chatting quietly about everyday life, joking with each other, running to the storeroom for tea, gossiping about their colleagues and commanders, discussing the now-aged captain, who was on sick leave again and about to retire, and occasionally looking at me with a lazy, indifferent glance. “Some broke a limb — it’s alright. If it dies — it just dies.” I muttered softly to myself, and, sighing again, I rolled over onto my other side, facing the wall, and hugged the skinny pillow tighter. And my friends back in Ponyville probably wouldn’t even know until the end… That’s… that’s not fair. What a pity…