…
“… Can be read about this question. And the first one is even necessary, as it is probably the most complete description of today’s topic.” “Thanks. I hope I’d be able to find time for it.” I sighed, suppressing a yawn, rubbing my forehead. My head is buzzing. “So, until Thursday?” “Yeah, of course. Goodbye, Your Grace. I mean…” Endless Scroll hesitated — my guide in the world of jurisprudence and Equestrian law. “Don’t take offense…” “It’s okay. Just go.” I chuckled. Yeah, “Grace” in Nightmare Moon’s address sounds really impressive… The mare, with a brief bow, hurried to follow the advice. I followed her with a long glance. Loaded me, damn it… The news was of the “what the hell now” variety. It was my own fault, of course, that it was news to me — I could have made up my mind to study the subject. I had tried, though, at first, but both times Twilight had very inopportunely taken the necessary codes right out from under my nose. As a result, I gave up, and then I was too busy and forgot about it. And now, taking into account the news, I have a vague suspicion, that someone directly advised our purple nerd to keep this literature away from me, just in case. The thing is that an incomprehensible scarecrow and an incomprehensible scarecrow aware of his quite considerable status are, after all, two big differences… I’m a high-born, blue-blooded aristocrat, and, in fact, the fifth person in the state, so to speak. Not bad, ay! And that’s because any Equestrian I-have-horn-and-wings person has an a priori title equal to the maximum for any other pony of any other race. I think Tia wrote this law for Luna, so that she wouldn’t have any problems when she returned to Equestria at all. But in the end, Tia created a problem for herself, when I was brought back here as well, and I fit into this law quite well… Well, what are you gonna do? It’s not my fault. I sniffed and laughed shortly, shaking my head. In sum, my current title of “Princess acquired” is equal in status to that of “pony-Prince” in Blueblood, although the latter has a higher priority in the succession to the throne. Only Cadence, the “Crown Princess,” and Tia herself and Luna, the “reigning Princesses,” have a higher status. Interestingly, in Equestrian, these three Princess titles, worn exclusively by Alicorns, are a single word, slightly differing in prefix and not the same as “Prince-pony” Bluesy, which literally means “deputy of Queen” or something like that, rather than “heir to the throne”. In general, the duties are quite appropriate: to temporarily take charge of the country, if at the moment there is suddenly no one else to do so. The titles of alicorns are derived from “Princess,” which is “heiress,” and, interestingly enough, this word is exclusively feminine in modern Equestrian. So, a hypothetical alicorn stallion would be a Princess by title, so to speak. I chuckled. Well, back to rights and responsibilities… The guards can only wag a finger at me. No, not even that, for lack of a body part… Ahem, yes… The guards can’t, anyway. Not without a direct order from the Reigning Princess, because only the bearer of that title, which is Tia, has the right to judge and punish me — as well as Cadence and Bluesy. Or Luna… Yeah, I can understand it… You can’t deny Tia’s wisdom. Perhaps it’s not a bad thing that I only found out about it now, or else I might have gotten carried away by it… I wondered before why the local authorities didn’t react to my antics, but I considered it a separate request from Celestia, and it turned out to be all in the paper, and it had been for a long time, though it’s far from common knowledge for those who don’t work in the field of law. Of all the people I knew in Ponyville, Twilight seemed to be the only one who knew anything, since neither Rar nor Applejack, who were definitely savvy enough to run their own business, were aware of it. Rar would have said otherwise for sure. And would have bowed, yep… Rarity, presenting herself with a bow after every word and looking ingratiatingly in my eyes, poking her nose into everything she can. I shivered. Na-ah, she’s not that strange! We’re friends, why would she… She’d better find about it later. I was planning to fly out to hug the unicorn the day after tomorrow, by the way. Luna wanted to give me new material for tomorrow, in the hope that maybe I’d get some practice in Ponyville in the couple of days I’m going to be there. I don’t know… And I didn’t want to miss the joint flight training: the stern gray-haired old man, who has been Luna’s — and now my too — instructor knew his job very well. But he looked at both of us like we were piles of shit. I chuckled, glanced thoughtfully around my temporary office — impressed once again by the decoration and scale — and involuntarily shuddered, when I looked at the figure, frozen in the doorway. “Silent little shit.” I mentally scolded the familiar dark purple mouse-winged mare in her night guard armor. “Sorry if I disturbed your thoughts.” She bowed, noticing my attention. “Mistress Luna sends you an invitation to dinner in half an hour in the private dining room.” It’s the same thing every day… Hasn’t she had enough? I opened my mouth for the usual refusal, but, frozen for a second by the sudden idea, I answered, seeming to surprise the thestral: “Say, I agree. And to the cook, a wish to see a fish dish on the table.” “I apologize, but…” The messenger bowed abruptly, hesitating a bit. “I fear it’s beyond ponies’ power to find and cook fish in 30 minutes! If you wish, then for the tomorrow’s dinner… And… Are you sure?” I was looked at by somewhat doubtful and a bit panicking gaze. “What’s the problem?” I rose a brow. “But you’re… Sorry… Not a night pony! I mean, of course, a night one, but not the night as we are, but…” The guardian started to talk fast with increasing panic in her eyes. “Sorry, I mean!… M-m-m!..” “I’m not a thestral. Go on.” I unclenched the telekinesis’ grab on the pony’s muzzle. What a good way to put a word in, after all. Practical. I hope I didn’t slam her tongue… “Only thestrals, of all the ponies, are carnivorous! And you, well… you are more like a day pony?.. Sorry, I…” “Maybe I just wanted to try it?” I interrupted the guardian, chuckling. “Just for fun. You know, curiosity has been gnawing at my heart for a while, and the only meat you have here is your guards and some servants…” “O-okay! Everything will be done!” The thestral bowed with enthusiasm. Dashed a drop of sweat away from her forehead. “Good. Then less bones and a small portion. For starters.” Fangs are fangs, but who knows if I would like it… And why did I remember about fish just now?…
“Good evening, Nightmare. Glad to see you.” Luna plausibly feigned a warm smile Nodding in response, I took my seat across from her. Two different salads, flowers, and for decoration, if you like, an appetizer, a pitcher of some berry juice, judging by the color, and a bowl of porridge. Also, a knife, three spoons, two forks, and two napkins. I wouldn’t have remembered all of this if not this… One ordinary fork would be enough for everything — but no, they had to make it complicated and show off all sorts of unnecessary stuff! “Condiments?” The alicorn looked up at me as the hostess of our humble dinner, without the help of servants, and put porridge on her plate. “Mushroom sauce.” “You’re welcome!” A plate filled with fragrant porridge and mushroom gravy and garnished with lettuce leaves and dill came down on the table in front of me. “Enjoy your meal, Nightmare.” I nodded again, and then held my gaze on the spoons. I took the porridge spoon, the one that was a little deeper and less elongated. Show offs, yeah… And it’s inevitable that I’ll have to do the same with the title I have now, one way or another. Damn it. I would be glad to forget about this gibberish, but… When in Rome, do as the Romans do, after all. And it is better to say hell with it, knowing what you’re saying hell to and not just out of stupidity. Tasty! Not what Spike cooked at Twi’s home… No, he could cook, and not bad, but how can you cook something that’s initially inedible? Semolina with jam — I’d kill the person who thought that this was a good idea… “Thanks for accepting my invitation.” Luna tilted her head with feigned thankfulness and a slight smile, that should be shown during such occasions, when we finished the main course. “I’m glad to be able to spend this dinner with someone.” Pfft… If you’re so worried about being alone at dinner, you should order strippers, man, I don’t know… I stumbled at my own thought. Does she… I mean, she feels the same way I do, right?.. Same teachers, same servants, same guards. Her secretary, the head of the guards, but she is “Her Majesty” to them. And me. I don’t see them communicating with Tia… Ah, yes, she’s traveling around the country right now, if I’m not mistaken… But I have Ponyville. Rar, Sweetie, Pinkie, Scoot, Flutty. Maybe even AJ… But there’s nowhere to go for Luna, right?.. I shook my head evilly. It’s her problems! She could have!.. I don’t know… A-a, damn it… “…?” “What? I got distracted.” I shook my head again, snapping back in reality. Finally, a blue one’s question to me even rose my mood a bit. “What do you want to eat?” I was looked at with a slight concern. “This.” I waved with a fore leg half-heartedly towards the left bowl with a salad. “I… Tell me, why did you agree to come by today? Here, you’re welcome.” The bowl with the chosen dish was lowered before me. I wanted to see your flattering face, damn. I nodded somberly, restraining my emotions and suppressing the urge to send the blue one inquiring to the places where God hasn’t been to. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t have come without a reason… “Because I wanted to rent one of your blockheads to run to Ponyville and bring me my money.” “Oh, there’s no need in doing this.” The blue one emphasized a smile. “If you need something, that is absent in the castle, I’ll order it immediately. Or finance it — no matter how much.” “I don’t need your freaking money! I have to lay my hooves on mine, and make it before my departure to Ponyville! And your ponies aren’t delicate flower girls, one flight shouldn’t be a problem.” Luna sighed and looked somewhere out the window thoughtfully. “I… I understand that you are inclined to see any gift of mine as throwing a bone and an attempt to buy myself a pardon, but… But can’t I do so out of the goodness of my heart, without any selfish motives, only wishing to help you sincerely? There is so much money in the… bank in my name that I can easily buy a small town; my sister took care of it long ago. But what do I need it for? At least let them serve you well!” The alicorn turned and stared in my eyes from under her brows with stubbornness. I stared back unblinking. What a concrete idiot, damn it!.. Can’t you just do as you’ve been told? She’s got it in her head that I want something from her, and now she’s sticking her nose in every hole with her “help”! She’s the person I don’t want to get any gifts from for sure!.. But, of course, it would be easier and faster… Damn it! For a few seconds I tried to put the thought out of my head. I rolled my jaw, and exhaled through my teeth. Fuck with it. I’ll just pay it away with mine. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it… I blinked, returning to reality. Luna, surprisingly, never took her eyes off me, but she looked sad, sympathetic, and, it seemed, with grief, carefully hidden in the depths of her soul. Are our eyes the same color? “Fine, Nightmare, I…” “Okay, abyss with you…” We started to talk at the same time. We became wordless, looking at each other in anticipation. “What are you looking at?” I snapped with dissatisfaction. “Be proud of yourself — you’ve persuaded me. Get your money here.” “Will be happy to help.” The blue one masked her triumphal grin by a warm smile. “When and how much do you need?” “Tomorrow, can do it today. I don’t have a clue how much. I know nothing about local prices.” I mumbled it like a tongue-twister. Keep calm, I’ll pay it back afterwards! She was just about to give me gifts… “I know partially. What are you going to buy?” “Lots of things…” I mused. Alas, for some of the items, the ideas did not occur to me… Well, I hope I will not fail. “Expensive and rare fabrics, a scooter — sturdy and reliable, a thing, this…” I wiggled my foot, trying to remember the name, waving it away hopelessly. “For making milkshakes. And…” I bit my lip and dove into nervous thoughts: I can’t think of the thing I want to gift to Sweetie. She loves to sing, but she’s a little shy, and she hides her eyes when she notices she’s not alone. A ticket to opera? Na-ah… A microphone? For that shy girl? I don’t know… The unicorn also loved to make me beautiful: with a noticeable pleasure from the process and from the result, she made me all sorts of hairstyles, and gradually began to drive wedges on the subject of makeup, sighing, as if incidentally, about “the incomplete image without this mascara and this shadow”. I’ve been slipping away from this for the time being… The only thing that came to mind as a normal gift was a barber’s kit with scissors and, I don’t know, a comb, for example… But using scissors to cut hair, even those quite adapted to ponies, required a specific training of hoofkinesis, for the more accessible everyday grip with the mouth for a barber was not good enough. She had no telekinesis, which could reliably get rid of all these problems… And that was in addition to the fact, that it takes more than just holding scissors to cut hair beautifully. Anything on the subject of manicures then? Yeah, and who’s the first person she’s going to go get a manicure on? Yeah, that’s the thing… What else? She was also enthusiastic about going to school, which, now that Tiara and Spoon have left her in peace, seems to have become her favorite place in Ponyville. But I wouldn’t gift her a textbook, would I?.. I rubbed my forehead with fury and rested my head with my hooves. I don’t know! “Not a textbook”, “not a textbook”, hm… Hm!.. “…?” Luna’s voice, with a hint of concern, broke through my mind, trying to bring me back to reality. “Fine…” I mumbled, grinning. I’ve got a thought! “Nightmare?” “Yeah, I’m here.” Erasing the smile from my face, I looked at the alicorn, now with thoughtfulness. “What do you need?” “You started to muse mid-word. Maybe I can help you with something?” “You can, you can actually…” I nodded slowly. The money is just half of the adventure. Beside it, I could use some responsible fellows to buy everything — I don’t think I should go into town just yet. I don’t know Canterlot, and, oddly enough, Canterlot doesn’t know me. A newspaper is a newspaper, but how many people read it? And how many took it as a fact — in Ponyville, ninety percent of the inhabitants must have seen me in person at least once, anyway?.. It would be better if I do this myself, of course… Okay, I’ll think about it. I could always tail my agent to be my guide, if only I had an agent. “You can, you can…” I repeated slowly. “Everything from it should be bought. I could use someone who knows the city, knows about these things, and can buy something nice, something that I wouldn’t be ashamed to look at. Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll spend a week looking around the city for the right stores with the right things…” “Don’t worry, I’ll send the right ponies to you, and you can tell them exactly what you need. I’m sure they won’t let you down.” The blue one smiled, but then frowned: “And… If it’s possible… Please, Nightmare, refrain from going out into the city in person. I mean, I don’t intend to forbid you, but it seems to me…” “Well, I wasn’t going to.” I interrupted Luna, whose thoughts seemed to coincide with my own. She once mentioned, that some ponies run away from her too… They are right, in fact: if Luna is near, there will be trouble, personally tested… “Thank you for understanding.” She tilted her head, seeming to breathe a sigh of relief, as if she was glad that she didn’t have to explain or justify this request to me. I nodded, turning back to my meal, and the alicorn followed suit, picking up her spoon as well. That’s right. It’s always the plain and simple “eating”, that turns into endless dramatic conversations… “Nightmare, would you mind my asking?” Luna caught my attention again as I finally, under the timid dreams of tomorrow’s fish, finished my lean salad, which was lean even by the ponies’ standard. “You can try.” I defiantly put the empty bowl aside with a hoof, sighing. With food this depressing, it’s no wonder you want to get away from it for a while, at least for conversation. Yeah, Tia had a better cook… Or I was hungrier then. “M-m, I can, right?” Luna laid back her ears shyly. “Such different items… These are gifts, right? For friends?” You’re too smart, Luna. People don’t like that. “Something like that. But these are lousy gifts — they’ll be bought with your money and with your servants’ choice…” I cringed for a moment. “And still!” The enthusiastic pony even stood up from her seat, leaning her front legs on the tabletop. “I guess it’s so nice to have friends! I’m so happy for you! And… To be honest — I’m a little jealous.” She sat back, her eyes downcast. “Jealous, “happy for you”…” With a slight irritation, I moved my gaze away from my interlocutor to the second bowl of salad, the contents of which were securely hidden by a layer of sour cream on top. Damn it… “Friendship means trust, blue one, and it’s very hurtful for your health to trust sometimes. I’m speaking from experience, trust me. And after all, you had a friend back on the Moon. You had.” Luna shivered and hid her gaze. “And it burns me inside with eternal flame.” She answered dully. “I would give a lot to turn back time and…” The alicorn sighed wistfully and sighed hopelessly without finishing. Good words without good deeds are… I chuckled quietly. I glanced around the room, which was enveloped in dense silence. A round table with a cream-colored tablecloth. Again, instead of dinner some nonsense came out… On the walls — wallpaper of luxurious appearance and texture in the color of the tablecloth with some silvery monograms in the picture. Decorative “pillar-like” columns in the corners, one of which is supposedly wrapped in an artificial vine that sprawls beautifully on the wall, figured moldings under the ceiling, an eight-light crystal chandelier, polished parquet in milk chocolate color, curtains on… “Nightmare…” Breaking the silence, Luna pulled me away from my viewing. “I think you can trust your friends. Fortunately, there are only few ponies, capable of an atrocity such as the one I committed. And since they already believed in you no matter what, they won’t abandon you.” Alicorn forced a smile. “I’ve never had anyone believe in me like that until now, except my sister and maybe Cadence… I think it’s not an enigma…” I even felt sorry for drooping Princess for a moment, gazing at her. “Yeah, sad to hear.” I commented in a flat, unemotional tone, and inwardly I was furiously eradicating the feeling. You wanted to be alone on the Moon — be alone, then! Stupid horse… Dinner was finished in uncomfortable silence.