Not like a snake

      The morning doesn't start with coffee.       Today I came to school earlier than all my classmates, so I had to sit alone for some time with Liliya Pavlovna. Yesterday’s quarrel with my parents, which started literally out of nothing, forced me to make this decision. The mother splashed out all the aggression that had accumulated due to constant scandals with her father. She took it out on me because of the slightest offense. And I don’t even remember what I did. To top it all off, dad gave me such a slap on the back of the head that stars are still falling out of my eyes. But the most offensive thing that happened the day before was that I yelled at Olya. It happened so spontaneously. I honestly didn’t want to do this, but my nerves couldn’t stand it any longer and I snapped.       I was offended and annoyed, and the thought that for my sister I had become someone on par with my parents who were constantly yelling at each other simply killed me from the inside. Slowly devouring my entire soul.       I apologized. Sincerely. Many times. But she only pretended to forgive me. It was visible in her eyes.       It seems like I’m the older brother, which means I have to protect her from all the hardships and dangers of the outside world, from the consequences of her parents’ quarrels and simply from a bad mood. But everything turned out exactly the opposite.       It was difficult to put on a mask of calm on my almost crying face. But in the eyes of Romka and Byasha, Polina, and all the other classmates, I should look as usual. It was as if nothing had happened. You cannot show your true bad emotions within the confines of school — this is fraught with ridicule from all sorts of, dare I say it, devils and unnecessary anxiety from friends. I understand that Pyatifanov and his faithful friend are ready to support me in any situation, but to involve them in my family problems — no, I’m not eager to do this. While I was thinking, the office began to fill with noisy students, creating a kind of cacophony of all kinds of sounds. Without particularly listening, I caught the voices of Byashka and Romka, Polina’s laughter, the cry of the class teacher scolding someone, and the click of heels approaching me.       I was brought out of my thoughts by someone’s hands elegantly falling on the desk.       — Well, well, well, Petrov, why are you sitting there so thoughtful? — Smirnova asked with a sarcastic smile. Only this viper was missing here. She always sticks her nose into other people's business, and her barbs would be the envy of any hedgehog on this planet. Katya’s green-eyed gaze seemed to penetrate into the very depths of a person’s soul, opening all the locks and exploring the hidden corners of consciousness, looking for something to cling to, how to hook the victim. It was clear that her questions did not bode well.       — Yes, so... I was thinking about my homework... — I muttered, trying not to lose my temper. I still lacked this. Yelling at Katya, the daughter of the class teacher and, at the same time, the meanest snake, is equivalent to personally signing a death sentence.       — About homework, then, Petrov? — she grinned. — Yes, I can see right through you, maniac, you’re probably looking for a new victim, yes-yes-yes. — this next barb, although far from the most offensive, but for some reason it was the one that finished me off, an already wounded fighter fighting on the battlefield of an unjust life.       — Shut your mouth... Viper. — I said barely audible. Tears began to flow from my eyes. It was clear from the expression on Smirnova’s face that she wanted to ask again, to confirm what she had heard. But before the girl could speak, I continued. No longer in a whisper. This time, my trembling voice spread throughout the class. — Shut up, leave me alone, why did you pick on me? Why now!?       The next second, I jumped up from my desk, throwing the chair to the side, and pushed Katya so that she would let me pass. And under the uncomprehending glances of his classmates, as well as Romka’s questioning cry: “What happened?” — flew out of the office.       My legs themselves led me to my favorite place. A dark dead-end passage in the corridor, which the Voltron team and I affectionately called “Tupichok”. Rarely do students pass through here, and even less often do teachers, so it is an ideal place for solitude.       I settled down in the corner of the corridor, slid to the floor, grabbed my knees and began to sob. Tears flowed in streams and, burning my face, rolled down onto my shirt, making it wet. Thoughts were confused, it seemed that they had no place in my head at all. I wanted to scream, yell at the top of my lungs, moan pitifully from the accumulated emotional pain. To overcome this desire, I had to bite my forearm, creating a kind of plug out of it, like a gag.       Around the corner, the quick sound of approaching heels was heard. Teacher? Or one of your classmates? But what could they need here? I tried, not without effort, to stop the flow of tears. He wiped the moisture from his face with his sleeve and swallowed nervously, waiting for the guest to appear.       Smirnova emerged from behind the wall, looking around excitedly.       — The snake decided to finish me off, right?       — No, Anton... — her voice lacked the former causticity, but something new appeared... Sympathy or something?       Katya's face looked guilty, like the muzzle of a dog whose owner scolds him for disobedience.       — I know you very well, Smirnova. Now you’ll go to Liliya Pavlovna and say that Petrov yelled at you and called you a viper, right? — there was already a completely obvious answer in my head, so consider the question rhetorical.       — Anton, I... No, I wanted...       — What did you want? What do you want from me!? — I unceremoniously interrupted Katya.       — Apologize... I wanted to apologize, Petrov. — something, but such a turn of events was impossible to expect.       Katya, who always mocks me, sets me up and teases me, decided to apologize. I can't believe my ears.       — Wait, what? — I asked again.       — What did I hear... Who could have expected such a violent reaction from you? — Smirnova said sadly, sitting down on the cold floor next to me. — Did something happen to you?       — What do you care? Do you want to embarrass me again in front of the whole class?       — Petrov, you’re a complete fool, right? — Katya asked upset. — I came to apologize, that is, to ask what happened, and here’s how you… — a drawn-out exhalation was heard from the girl.       — Unusually simple. — I muttered after a short pause.       — It’s unusual for him... — after these words, the classmate lowered one of her hands onto my knee and began to make massaging movements. — Forgive me, Anton. I’m not doing this out of malice, honestly. — sigh.       — But you can’t tell from the outside. — I grinned in response. — I’m not offended, Katya... It’s just, you know, in the last days my whole life has been going downhill...       Why did I decide to talk to her? Isn't this a trap to find out my secrets and then use them against me? This snake is capable of a lot to achieve its goals. However, it doesn’t matter anymore. I have nothing to lose. Now Katya exudes extraordinary warmth and support. This is the first time I see, hear and feel her. I even like this Smirnova...       Our conversation did not last very long, because ten or fifteen minutes later the bell rang, signaling the start of another tedious lesson. But this time was enough for me to calm down a little. I never thought that I would feel comfortable next to Katka. In fact, she is not nearly as nasty as I imagined. And it doesn't look like a snake at all. Well, only if slightly.       — And now, Petrov. — Smirnova began to speak in her usual commanding tone. — It's time for class. But first, go and get yourself in order, it’s no good going to class like that.       After these words, the girl, who had already managed to get up, turned around and walked towards our office. I had no choice but to take her advice and go to the men's room. There I doused my face with cold water, thereby washing away the dried tears and bringing myself to my senses, wiped my fogged glasses and slightly straightened my hair, which was disheveled in all directions.       Surprisingly, Liliya Pavlovna didn’t even scold me for being late, as usually happens. When I knocked, she simply nodded and pointed to my seat. Having settled down at my desk, I looked at Katya. Our glances involuntarily crossed and we smiled a little at the same time.       It seems that today I accidentally made a new, rather unexpected friend...