Berlin blood

I didn’t really want to come to my senses and return to reality. The smell of alcohol gradually penetrating into the lungs, and the noise around. There is a ringing sound, gradually disintegrating into separate voices. Bandages stick unpleasantly to the body. He feels nauseous, his head is pounding, and his whole body feels like stone. He doesn’t feel pain, his favorite morphine flows through his veins. The man does not want to come to his senses, at least not so soon, although who knows how long he was passed out? Thilike tried to open one eye, his vision was difficult to focus, everything was blurry, but he was able to see the ceiling. Almost his entire body is in bandages. In the ward, besides him, there are three equally wounded. I wonder if the Oberfuehrer was informed that he was here, or was told that he was dead? Most likely, he was the only one left; the shell exploded in the cabin. The only thing that saved him was that he sat a little higher than the others. Crap! How can you get rid of the thought that you have ruined so many young people? The right thing to do is to shift the responsibility to their respected Fuhrer, whose portrait hangs in the corner of the chamber. The doctor comes after lunch and approaches Tilika, who is lying in such a way that he cannot even turn his head towards the doctor. — Tielike Schlosser? — the doctor takes his card. “Yes,” he barely moved his lips. — Know that you were very lucky to survive in that tank and with the wounds with which you were brought here. So, what do we have here? The doctor puts on his glasses and looks at the chart. — Let’s start with the worst: we were unable to save your right eye and, unfortunately, your left arm; it was amputated just above the elbow. You also have numerous burns on your legs and a concussion. Amnesia is possible. But it’s still better than being dead. Hilda, a nurse, you once saw, will look after you. And I’ll say goodbye to you for now, rest. The doctor left, and Thielike didn’t know what to think. The war made him completely disabled. However, as the doctor says, it really is better. Tilike closes his eyes. Hilda… Something familiar. But, running the name through his head, he can’t remember absolutely nothing, not even facial features. — Hello! I’m your nurse, Hilda Schwartz. How are you feeling? — she is quite open and smiling, has a bright aura and is pleasant in appearance. “Tilike Schlosser, it could have been better,” the man tries to joke, although it comes out badly, but the girl began to smile. And this made my soul feel good. — Tell me, how did you manage to do this? — Hilda is concerned about the man’s fate; she couldn’t understand where she knew him from? Maybe he was in her dream? She tried many times to remember the man’s silhouette. However, everything is to no avail. “A combat mission that I couldn’t cope with,” Tilike could somehow move his lips, he was running out of strength, but he wanted to talk to her. She beckoned him, and the look with which she looked at him was better than any medicine. “I’m sure it’s not all that bad.” “Perhaps you’re right, but who needs me like this now?” Crippled not only in body, but also in soul. “I’m sure there will be one person,” the girl carefully began to bandage him. — Tell me, how long did I lie here unconscious? — Thilike looked at the hand that was not there. He’s pathetic. — A week… But that’s not enough. There is no way to survive with your wounds. — It’s clear. I even wonder what will happen after my wounds heal? — No idea. But look at that guy, both his legs were taken away. Things aren’t so bad for you. — I can’t help but agree. Having finished, Hilda leaves him to join other soldiers who need her no less than Tilika. Approaching everyone, she smiles welcomingly and asks how they are feeling. After looking at the girl for a bit, Tielike relaxed and closed his eyes. He can’t think anymore. *** The next morning, Hilda went to see Tilika again. Yesterday she really liked this young officer, he looked at her with special tenderness, and this is very valuable to her. Jacob had never given her such looks; he hadn’t spoken to her much lately. And she really wanted frank conversations! Each time he left or simply ignored her. Entering the room, they made eye contact. He was waiting for her! Today he was in a great mood, joked a lot, and also tried to communicate with her on topics that he probably thought were interesting to girls — about film actresses and fashion. Hilda willingly kept up the conversation. She herself didn’t know why, but she wanted to be near him, they easily found a common language and it seemed to her that they had known each other for a very long time. She looked at the officer and a long-forgotten feeling of love awakened in her. He could give her a compliment in the middle of their conversation and it couldn’t help but make her happy. Tilike, looking into her eyes, always made her feel embarrassed, although she herself didn’t know why. Tielike looked at her and could not look away. He admired her eyes, her smile. And even in the tenacity with which she bandaged his wounds, he also found something special. In moments next to each other, they both fell out of reality, just a little bit, but that was enough for them. Both received a boost of energy and hope for the next meeting, which each of them looked forward to. Tielike recovered quickly and said every time that it was Hilda who brought him back to his feet with her smile. She smiled, embarrassed, and began to straighten her hair. It all looked nice from the outside. Hilda is looking forward to meeting her because her relationship with Jacob has completely deteriorated. He came home late and very often their short conversations ended in a quarrel. Hilda was never able to figure out what the reason was, but all her attempts to somehow solve the problem did not change anything, and in recent days she could not return home at all, spending the night in the hospital. In a short time, Tielike and Hilda became quite close. Hilda often did not want to return to an empty house and therefore went to Tilika. He told stories about the time when he was at the front, stories that he remembered. I often read my notes and thoughts. She told him about films and life outside the walls of the hospital. Thielike always said that he was ashamed of his scars and injuries, but Hilda, on the contrary, found beauty and something special in them. She liked his scars and all his flaws. It is a memory of pain, battles and the eternal wait for quiet time. The real scars were not on the body, but in the soul. There are most of them there. After two weeks of communication, she realizes that they have a lot in common. She penetrated more and more into his world. A world of morphine, blood and responsibility for souls. Sometimes she would come and just complain, lying on his shoulder, and all he could do was hold her with his right hand, which had three fingers left. He considers himself crippled, but she sees much more in him. *** Summer is coming to an end, the sun is setting earlier, and it’s getting colder outside. One morning, when it was raining non-stop, Hilda arrived soaked to the skin — her mood could not be worse. She hoped to raise it for herself by going to Tilika, who today is undergoing his penultimate examination by the doctor. — Hilda Schwartz! — the doctor’s loud voice brings her out of her thoughts. “Oh, it’s you,” the girl exhales. “I came to tell you this: a doctor I know asked me to transfer several doctors and medical staff to his hospital. You are among them. Tomorrow you will leave for Essen. — Wait! What about my ward? “Hilda is confused, she can’t just leave everything and go to God knows where.” “If you’re talking about Tilik, he’ll be back on his feet in less than a week,” the doctor said, putting on his glasses, and added: “You’re leaving early tomorrow morning.” “Can I say goodbye and spend my last day here?” “Yes, of course you can,” the doctor leaves, leaving Hilda standing at a loss. How so? Where will she go? For what? Tilike is in a rather bad mood. Oberführer Gotter should come soon and say what will happen to him now. They’ll probably leave the service now. Well, so be it, he has nothing to lose. There is no eye, but that’s not so bad, how will he learn to live with one hand? This is still a big mystery for him. One thing was good — Hilda would come by today. He introduced her, and peonies bloomed in his soul; he associated the girl with these flowers. He learned to distinguish her by her steps. And she was about to arrive. *** The day flies by unnoticed, like a bird in the sky, and both feel that this is not their last meeting. Hilda jokes a lot, Tielike talks about equipment and ranks. In the evening, when the hospital closes, the two sit on the bed and watch the moon as it slowly creeps up and illuminates their faces. “Tilike, you know, I’m leaving tomorrow,” the girl easily rests her head on his shoulder. — Where? — the man leans over to get a better look at her face. — We are being transferred to Essen. I don’t know why, I only found out today. — Well, it’s okay, I’ll get back on my feet and come to you. “I don’t want to leave, when I first arrived here, I thought that this place would not surprise me with anything, but it presented you to me.” Thank you for everything. — Oh, Hilda, we will see you more than once. Promise me that you will keep it,” he took off a small rope with a dragonfly pendant. “Okay, I promise,” they sat hugging for about an hour, until Hilda fell asleep on Tilika’s shoulder.