Berlin blood

Summer 1941 The closer they got to Russia, the more the hands of the guy who was looking through the scope trembled. There was unprecedented silence in the tank. No one dared to say a word. They were so unexpectedly notified of this operation and equipped so quickly that no one even had time to think anything. Tilike knew nothing about Russia, like everyone else. They could only guess and imagine what awaited them. And what are they, Russians? Many high-ranking soldiers who had the opportunity to visit Russia said that these were strange people, unlike anyone else, living with their souls and not with their heads. That their language is also spiritual, and not a single translator in the world can sometimes translate what they say. And how these people live, it’s better not to look at all. And if you start to understand Russia with your head, you can go crazy. Summer is a wonderful time of year, the guy loves it more than others. He loves the fields — watching the grass sway in the wind and the setting sun set on the horizon. And now, in the evening, approaching the border of the USSR and Poland, he observes the same picture. “Yes… we’ll ruin the beauty for them here,” Alfred made jokes all the way and tried to learn new words, and by the end of the road everyone was praying for it to end. Not only does Alfred really pronounce them terribly, almost syllable by syllable, but his voice, which has shrunk due to a recent cold, sounds more like a croak. “Please, Alfred, don’t rape us with that tongue.” And stop muttering under your breath. “I get the impression that you’re swearing or cursing us,” Erich said, and he was right, and Jens grinned at the fact that at least someone said that. — In any case, let’s get ready for battle. Don’t expect it to be very simple. Does everyone remember their tasks? — Jens addresses everyone. Everyone nodded. — And I hope that this time there will be no disappearances. “I’m turning to you, Erich,” said Jens. Erich obediently lowered his head with the words: “That’s right.” He was ashamed of that incident, and he came to apologize to Thilike several times after the incident. However, a week later they forgot everything and began to continue enjoying their holidays and entertainment in France. “We’ll be there soon, everyone will take their positions according to plan!” — an order was heard from the headphones, and everyone realized that the time had come. “Everyone get ready,” Jens commanded, the team perked up and took their places. — Have a good fight, gentlemen! And the battle began. The tanks walked as if in a line, one after another, and acted precisely according to plan. They did not give the enemy a single chance not only to win — the forces were not equal — but even to retreat. They destroyed them on the spot, clearly moving forward. — Eris, what have you heard from others? “We need to follow the others and find higher ground, they will cover us.” “Okay, let’s go according to course,” Jens, as a commander, had the situation and the entire team in his hands. His abilities as a commander were amazing. When there was a tense situation, he always brought the team to an agreement, even when quarrels broke out in the middle of battle. And there were such cases. When the sun was already setting behind the horizon, Thielike was finally able to get out of the tank and look at nature and at the country in which he had recently been. Luxurious fields stretched for many kilometers around, and the grass moved in the wind. From the depths of his form he took out a pencil, a small notebook, no larger than his palm. In it, he kept records of everything that happened to him from the school itself, so that upon arrival in Berlin he could meet with Hilda and read to her everything that he wrote here in the first person, so that she could feel the atmosphere of the tank battle and the countries where they visited. He smiled and, having entered the date, began recording. “22nd of June Today we crossed the border of the USSR. The weather on the first day is good, but it may worsen later. However, we hope not. One of the soldiers says that the weather here is very changeable — unpredictable, like women. Let’s see. I would not classify today’s battle with the Russians as difficult. Maybe because the forces are unequal. Or maybe because the Russians have not yet shown what they are capable of. I’m looking forward to another round where we will win. I do not doubt that. Our team works very harmoniously, as does the entire Fourth Army, which we are part of.” Having finished writing, Thielike got off the tank and went to his comrades, who had already warmed up by the fire. It becomes cold, the smoke slowly disappears into the sky, clear and bright, like his imaginary future. “July 9th. We approached Pskov, the fighting is not going quite as I imagined. Russian people have no half measures — there are only extremes. I realized this when, having knocked out one of the tanks, the whole team thought that it would not budge, but, to our surprise, not only did it move, it also went into battle against us. We barely managed to dodge without being hit.” “July 10 We have deviated from the set course. We were surrounded by the Russians and forced to look for another way to break through further and, fortunately, we succeeded. We broke through to the Komarin area. I hope that everything will be fine in the future. This is not how we all imagined an attack on the USSR. We thought they weren’t ready and that was partly true. But they have something that none of us have — devotion to their homeland. I don’t see the same in our soldiers — the Russians accept everything more simply and directly, they need to save their land. I concluded that all of Europe is corrupt. We are all traders and bankers. We don’t have the same soulfulness as they do. But they have no logic, and the first time I came to this country, I got the impression that I was in the past.” “July 11 After powerful artillery bombardment and massive bombardment of Soviet positions at Komarin, we had to move along the highway to Leningrad. In the Novoselye-Ludoni area we were detained for several hours, which is why the command lashed out at us. Everyone was angry. The Russians repulsed our attacks, but with heavy losses. At least something. Later, we still managed to break through the positions of the border guards, we reached the Ludoni-Shabanovo line, and entered into battle, which was the most intense during my entire service. A little later, our battalion broke through the defense of the border guards on the right flank of the position.” Thielike finished writing, and more and more thoughts came into his head that he could not calm down. I had to take Pervitin more often, and the doses increased. He didn’t know about the others, but he guessed that things were worse. No one believes that Russia is so easy to conquer, and no one is filled with the same fighting spirit as before. More and more people are beginning to think that they are here to stay. And I want to go home more and more. A soldier sits by the fire and looks into the distance. An endless starry sky stretches above him. He understands how small not only he himself is, but the whole world. So tiny. They are just puppets in a huge system. They are told that they came to this earth to restore order, that they will be gods. But who made them gods? Who is he? And is he himself a god? The guy often thinks that it would be nice to know his life in advance. Thilike looks at the commander, who is also thinking about something of his own. Yes it would be nice. Maybe they have known all their lives, but all this is hidden in the depths of their subconscious. Deep down. Thielike begins to develop the idea. If humanity knew everything, then, probably, many tragedies and deaths could be prevented. If his parents knew that they would die, they probably would have left their son not only a piece of paper with his name, but something more. At least your photos. On the other hand, if we all knew the dates of death, our lives would lose color. We could foresee everything, and even chance would not have any meaning in our lives. Life would become like a movie, the ending of which you know by heart, like the whole film. But you go watch it for the hundredth time only for certain moments — moments of happiness, love and experiences that cannot be obtained in any other way except through grief. Thilike falls asleep on the ground, imagining Hilda’s knees, and swears to himself that he will go through everything that is in store for him and come to her. “July, 12 We, having regrouped our forces, attacked Soviet positions. I’ve been waiting for the fight for a long time. With the support of tanks, artillery and aviation in fierce battles, suffering losses, we pushed back the Soviet troops from Novoselye and Ludoni. Motorized riflemen repeatedly, but to no avail, counterattacked the enemy. They tell us not to retreat and go into battle. In the afternoon we covered the retreat while fighting. For an hour the battle raged at the Smolyaniki tar factory. After a difficult battle, we finally left the village of Nikolaevo. We retreated to Zapolye.” " the 14 th of July The Russians went on the offensive. It was an unexpected turn for us on their part, but we reacted quickly. Our tank division, stretching from Petrilovo to Kotorsk, was attacked by three battalions and, having defeated the security battalion, a company of our sappers and an anti-tank company, the Russians captured the bridgehead. We found ourselves cut into two parts with no way to communicate. I’m scared for the first time in my life. And this is not just fear — it is the fear of a rabbit who knows that they will come and kill him. I still believe that our people will help and get us out. All I want to do is probably wash myself and put on a fresh uniform. This form has long been full of fleas and lice, we are up to our ears in dirt and not only in it. Many people laugh that they will bring gifts from the eastern front, but this is not funny at all. We are unable to do anything.” " July 15 We don’t give up and fight. According to the messages we receive, ours are already on the way, and they will soon get us out, while we hold on on our own. By noon, we, together with riflemen and sappers, broke through to the station, forcing the enemy to retreat to the eastern bank of the river. We began to move forward little by little, at a snail’s pace. It’s better than nothing. The infantry has arrived. Good guys”. “July 30 Our tank division fought heavy battles for three weeks, trying to break through to the target—that was the order from above. It turned out to be harder than we all thought. Everyone’s nerves are on edge. It’s starting to feel like we’ve all gone crazy. Although I heard that people go crazy alone. I still don’t have enough time to write to you. But I will do it as soon as the situation becomes stable. While there was an uneasy silence in the air.” In Augusta the situation became better and everyone was able to come to their senses for a while. Having brought up infantry formations, the Germans manage to continue the offensive. Everyone looks bad and needs rest or at least a break. And everyone’s mood changed. The soldiers begin to dream of taking out their anger on the Russians. And, if at the beginning of the journey this was connected only with the political views of some members of the army and did not have any personal prerequisites, now personal anger is mixed with this. A terrible mixture, which, according to Thielicke’s observations, can cause considerable harm not only to the people on whom this poison will be splashed, but also to those who splash it out. The guy smokes, re-reading his old notes made back in Poland. He compared himself many times from 1939 and 1941 — he had changed. Such changes did not frighten him, but they disappointed him. He was given the first award in his life — the first iron cross. He had imagined this moment many times, but in reality everything turned out differently. He sits, looks at him and does not feel the slightest joy. Their commander Jens is especially angry. He has to be responsible for all their losses and victories, and it is he who gets the money from the higher authorities. He wants to sleep on the bed and eat normal food, not from a pot. They have to stop near the same village, and he is happy. Maybe the soldiers will get some sleep and have some fun. Things are getting really bad. He can’t even sleep, he constantly has stupid dreams — with a girl whose gaze beckons and beckons.